Reviewer: Zaximus Signed 



Date: December 30 2021
Title: Chapter 1: Good for Goodness' Sake
Wow. Wow oh wow oh wow. This has got to be my favorite Vortex story to date. This story has everything. Intense characterization, amazingly descriptive vore, sympathetic prey, and a pretty good setup. While I’m more into the more fantastical settings and premises, I’ve been following the Vortexverse for a while now and might I say: girl going home for the holidays and enjoying some human treats is pretty fitting within that theme. More than the others though, this story feels like it has purpose. It feels like it’s going somewhere and it's trying to get to something and I’m all here for it because what it gets to is just amazing!
Hot DAMN that is some great writing
At the risk of actually killing me I’d like to break down my absolute favorite scene in this whole piece, if I may. This single scene stole my breath away and I do mean that literally.
“Oh Arty…” Hannah began.
Pity. Even still, even now she pities him. She pities his fate, she pities him as a person, and she pities knowing him.
“swallowing the build-up of spit in her mouth, panting.”
But she wants it still. She doesn't care. She wants to do it to him.
She heard that her voice was shaking, and felt a single tear running down her left cheek. “I’m sorry.”
The first part of this you can dismiss as her noticing her own reaction from the before line, but it's the immediate text in the same line that paints the context differently.
"A single tear running down her left cheek"
That's what gets me, that line (and another but we won't jump ahead). A single tear runs down her cheek? She actually regrets this. What she's about to do? It's too cruel and even she knows it. Despite the fact that she thought about it, no that she fantasized about it, it's painful, painful to do this to him.
“I'm sorry.”
Now for me, I don’t always like Hannah to be honest, like a love to hate her sort of way. I feel she’s a lot more vicious than even Tanja in certain scenarios. I feel that she says a lot of things she doesn’t mean as a way to cover her own ass. However in this scenario I believe she's telling the truth.
Those two words? Those solidify her statement. She does mean this. She is sorry.
‘The tiny in her palm was quiet for a few more moments, noticing that the giant hand holding him was trembling. “I-It’s okay, Hannah. You recognised me, right? I’ll survive.”’
Dammit Arthur! You're too good a person for your world! He knows, instinctively but he doesn't believe it. He's not just trying to convince Hannah, if he's trying to convince her at all. He's trying to convince himself. This is salvation. This is how he's saved. It can't end for him like this, being eaten by someone he knew, someone he talked with, someone he called friend...someone he loved. Still disbelieving, trying not to believe despite all he's seen. No it can't end, not like this. It'll be fine, after all, the hard part is over. She saw him, she recognized him. He's done. Out of the millions of odds he got put in the right box, bought by the right person and ended up here, just to be saved! He gets to live now, to survive!
“No.” Hannah whispered, gently shaking her head and panting. “You won’t.”
Those. Final. Three. Words.
The nail in his proverbial coffin being Crypto? No. The words that will be written on the little matchbox that carries his bleached little bones after they're carried through her digestive system will be "No. You won't".
Damn. After coming so far, after almost coming so close to winning, you lose all the same.
so much so, she can't lie to you. She can't treat you like you’re stupid. She has to tell you, she needs you to know. You’re not going to survive. This is where your story ends.
For me this truly is the greatest of the Vortexverse stories so far. I love this to death and cannot recommend it enough. Great job! Can’t wait to see what you do next!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your extensive review and the high praise. It means very much to me and really brightened my day! :D
Hannah is an interesting character to write, and I have ambivalent feelings about her myself. Unlike Tanja, who is an unapologetic sadist, and most of the other preds in this universe, who are indifferent to the tinies' plight, she is a good person gone bad. Someone who used to have high moral principles, but was corrupted by a society that constantly appeals to her dark side, and rewards her for indulging in it. On some level, Hannah continues to struggles with that, and tries to justify her actions to herself. I'm not sure if it's evil or sad, probably both. But it makes her quite dangerous in her own right, since she keeps telling herself that her behaviour is morally "good". Tanja, on the other hand, has more of a "might makes right" approach to what she does. Not that that is much better, mind you!
Anyway, thanks again for leaving such a detailed review. I hope that the next stories will be received equally well.