Reviewer: fosmat Signed
Date: October 31 2023
Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - Pandora's box
My god man. Yes. I was really looking forward to Ae Ri at this sorta height and you delivered. The gaslighting too. She gives brain rot to the highest degree so I can't blame Paul.
If I can offer some constructive criticism though. Sometimes your descriptions are a bit indulgent and I think you could streamline your prose. In the erotic moments, description is great, but in some of the less action-packed moments you don't need to tell us everything Paul thinks. I know it's first person but less is more sometimes.
Anyway good shit dude, this is one of the few high-quality stories on this site, I'd love to offer feedback for future chapters if you're interested. You can email me at fosmat999@gmail.com or I'm on twitter/X too, up to you!
Author's Response: Lmao! Indulgent descriptions are my vice, haha. I usually do two or three drafts of each chapter and they just get longer each draft. I should probably stop that, haha.
Thank you for the kind words and the great feedback! I'll for sure drop you an email some time :) I've loved a bunch of your stories (and I'm eager to read more of them (you've got quite the catalogue))!