Reviewer: VelvetSK Signed
October 18 2022
Chapter 3: Double Negative
This right here is what we in the business like to call "the good shit". I can tell by the precise way you described their clothing and physiques that you put a lot of thought into these characters. You said you wrote a draft for this a while ago, so that doesn't surprise me. When I read that Brittany wore jeggings, and that they were "ridiculously tight", I chuckled. I thought, Oh yeah, of course this girl of all people is wearing jeggings.
I was able to have thoughts like that because you also did a great job building up the characters through dialogue. It's tough writing naturalistic dialogue that's also vibrant, and I think you did a good job at that, and at capturing the cadence of characters who go to a rough HS. The slang and 90s references struck me as a little dated at first; more 2012 than 2022, but it grew on me.
Love the relationships you've set up. Trevor is this mischievous shit talker who doubles down. Brittany is your usual combative, controlling girlfriend with tons of rumors swirling around her. Natalie is stubborn, but has to be because life constantly assaults her from all sides. Good chemistry between them. Looking forward to seeing where it goes. Author's Response:
Oh dang, ďthe good shitĒ, Iím using that for my blurbs! (Just kidding, I donít have blurbs, but now I feel like I should lol.) I truly appreciate your observation, because, yes, I put a shit ton of time and energy into developing these characters and their clothing choices was definitely a part of it. And believe it or not I actually have a whole rational for their outdated slang and 90ís references that I doubt will every actually make it into the story but, yeah, it exists haha.
You really nailed their characters, it brings me immense joy to know people get them. Thank you so much for the comment, I hope it lives up to the build up! Let me know what you think Iím honestly very excited for you to get caught up :) :) :)