Shame to hear this is just a one-off, although it works great as such. You did a surprising amount of world-building in a very short space to give us a sense of how the society works with the introduction of the virus. The conversations between the girls were simultaneously entertaining and very human while still of course feeling very enticing with regards to the possibilities they were discussing. The cultural references were good for a chuckle as well. It's a testament to the intriguing nature of the content that you got a whole story out of people just talking about shrinking before it even happens. Very nice work here.

This is an interesting way to establish a fetish universe by laying down the basics first in more of a journalistic style.  The fact that so much time is covered in a short space here does leave quite a few questions open (ie: why/how the rights of the tiny people were lost so rapidly), but that seems like something that would be further fleshed out in a narrative.  I found the point about the aging process stopping kind of odd, but hey, it's fiction and you seem to have thought this all through.  The durability aspect of the tinies seems like a good way to ensure fun times can be had with characters you write without things getting too messy.  Good luck as you start writing in this universe you've made for yourself.

I like what you've got here so far.  The plot set-up before leaping right into the shrinking is appreciated, as you've done a nice job establishing the relationship of the sisters and foreshadowing to how the dynamics between them change once the main character is reduced.  I like the dialect and language style you're using for their dialogue, and because it's consistent, it helps it stay immersive.  Good luck in continuing.

This is some very nice work you've done. It might sound like a weird thing to fixate on, but I was very impressed with your ability to convey description through movement, particularly during the meatier part of the mouthplay. Given the complexity of a human interaction that has absolutely no basis in reality and therefore no easily accessed vocabulary to communicate how truly intimate it is, it can be hard to pull off, but you did it quite well. Overall, I think it's a neat experimentation with the genre to not give them names or even really identities: it's a relationship story, and it feels very tight and focused. Good luck to you in continuing.

Great gravy chunks...

Well that was something.

Finally got a chance to check this out. It's an intriguing start; there's really only so much I can say since some of the early chapters are repeats, but I like the set-up. It's nice that Kelsie isn't necessarily mean to the speaker, but simply sees owning him rather than letting him go home as the best choice for both, as it makes her a more complex figure. Like with another reviewer, Sibling Rivalry was one of the first macro stories I encountered and it was a very fond first reading; I'd be interested in seeing that continued someday. I would suggest in the future with this story though that you don't post repeat sections, as they can trip up the reader a little and there doesn't seem to be much reason to have them there. There were some minor spelling/grammar errors that you might sweep up as well. Other than that though this was a very enjoyable beginning. Keep up the nice work.

I agree with the previous reviewers. It's a nice premise, and showing both perspectives is a good way to give more emotional heft from both sides. Really I'd say just try working on bulking up the description more, like binary said. It's not bad how you have it, per se, just a bit dry in places and could easily be dressed up somewhat. Dialogue would help create a connection more easily as well. Overall not a bad second effort; keep at it.

Author's Response: Will do and my third story hopefully wont be done at midnight too but thanks for the feed back and i will do my best to add in something's to give the readers to imagine about.

I don't really have anything to add, as it would echo the last reviewer pretty exactly.  I'm not here to bash what you're doing, but you post so many things that fail to grasp some of the core concepts of the medium that it can grate the nerves a bit.  You are always free to post what you want, as that's what an open community is for, but it would really do you some good to work on your craft rather than keep doing what you've been doing; it's just not working at all.

Good stuff.  I'm enjoying the character dynamics you've got at work here leading up into the trading of sizes and the trust building up between them.  The dialogue is well-written, too.  Keep it up.

Gotta agree; very cool little concept. I always find it interesting when authors can incorporate a holiday theme into stories, and I enjoyed the use of racial prejudice as justification for the characters' actions. Good work here.