Reviewer: SciFiCrazy Signed
July 31 2020
Chapter 6: Exposure
I seen this story started over a year ago. I also noticed their aren't many chapters and most are moderately lengthed and well written. Also the beginning felt like I was missing out on something. As if the story or characters should have already had some familiarity about them. Maybe from previous stories. Wasn't sure I could enjoy this as I couldn't get a feel for it.
But then I read the six chapters available and realized that I wished you were able to add more to it more often as i was genuinely impressed. I especially like how it feels these two women aren't bad people and that they don't care for people who do bad to good people. It was exciting to read randall's transformation and subsequent destruction of his family members. Then to find out she transformed the gang members into his family members for the psychological abuse and to not punish good people was a great twist in the story. And the way she is trying to help Marcus recover better than normal healing is a nice use of her gifts as well.
This is a great story so far and looking forward to oreAuthor's Response:
Thank you for the review, I'm glad to hear that the story grew on you the more I was able to post.
To be perfectly honest, the first chapter was actually supposed to be a one-shot (Enma didn't even have a name when I wrote it) and the other aspects of the chapter where supposed to hint at a life she 'left behind' (I had recently watched John Wick 3 and that may or may not have influenced that). However, I liked the idea so much that I expanded it to a multi-chapter story. Oh god, I JJ mystery boxed this! But I was at least, hopefully, able to give satisfactory payoffs to the things I have fleshed out so far and what I have planned in the coming chapters.
It's good to hear Tess and Enma don't come off too 'evil' per se, I mean Enma wasn't exactly kidding about actually wanting to eat Randall's family but she's also a retired contract killer who is learning empathy towards people she doesn't care about. Tess is still far more in touch with her humanity, so long as you're not a criminal, but is just about the last person you want to piss off. I also like coming up with unique/creative uses of powers and abilities outside their obvious uses, so it was fun to implement and it's good to hear that it didn't seem too random for her to be able to do that.
I have a bit more planned for this story, 1-3 chapters depending on how I write them, but finding time to write them outside of when my Patrons vote for it is going to be hard. Hopefully I won't keep you waiting long.