Reviewer: whackamole1 Signed
Date: May 20 2021
Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 10: Part 2
I really enjoyed the chapter with Miss Johnson using her own body to give the boys a lesson on bodily functions. There's just something so fearless, assertive, yet intimate, about it. There she is casually sitting on the toilet with her vulva spread wide open, showing exactly where girls pee from, then she shows exactly how the female urination process looks like by showing her urine coming out of her urethra as she urinates in full view of all the boys. She is just so uninhibited and fearless. Showing off her body is one thing, showing off bodily functions, and even playfully peeing on some of her students, is another. Still it's an anatomy lesson and mystery of the female body (where do girls pee from?) that they had to learn. I'm not sure if it put her in the power position, casually baring her pussy and pissing in front of everyone, or if it put her in the vulnerable position, showing something so intimate. The truth is it's probably neither, she just seems so at ease with the female body that she has no need for shame or secrets. She even pooped in front of them. Her holding in her pee all morning just so she could use it for her lesson, shows commitment as a guide on her part, but probably made her pee a bit yellow and strong, next time she'll probably just drink a lot of water. Still Calvin, Trevor, and the rest of them were lucky she didn't eat any tinies before hand. Seeing a log coming out of her, and even being hit by it, with bodies baked into it might be a bit too scary.
I couldn't help but notice this isn't the first time she has used the toilet with tinies in it. Earlier, in her house when the black convict fell into her toilet, she contemptously used the toilet with him in it before flushing him to his doom. By contrast, with her boys she extends every courtesy, even asking permission from the boys in the toilet before she pees on them playfully, not with contempt. And she shows genuine worry and near panic when she poops on Calvin and Trevor and they go to deep under. I'm just suprised she pooped on them, that seemed a little bit heavy at their size. But it's clear that she's genuinely concerned about her boys, which makes her indifference, and even contempt for the tinies in her house a little disturbing. But her genuine concern and protectiveness of her boys ultimately makes her a good character to the counterbalance the general sociopathy of the girls.
I really hope that Trevor can still be saved as a character. Calvin and Trevor are the 2 most adventureous characters, and killing one or both off would take some of the dynamic out of the story. Even if Calvin lives, he would lose his spark if he loses his brother. And one way the story works in believability as far as the boys are concerned is the idea that they can act as audience perspective characters for the reader, being excited and enthusiastic with a sense of protection. If classmates gruesomely die at the hands of female classmates then the enthusiasm of the boys, which drives the premise of the story, begins to wane. Deaths of popular classmates, especially at the hands of other classmates, can make even cheerful and enthuastic schools, gloomy. Personally, I would like for the boys to maintain their sense of wonder and enthusiasm. Even if the classes were to continue, Trevor's death would suck the enthusiasm out of the boys. For these reasons, I would ask for a consideration of clemency for the character.
It's still not too late to save Trevor, Calvin, and the rest of the boys. At Trevor's small size there should be enough air in Allison's stomach to sustain him for a while. And human stomach acid isn't that strong or fast acting. There was a woman who would swallow baby mice on the internet. During a Q&A she mentioned she could feel the mice moving in her stomach for over an hour before they succumbed to heat and lack of oxygen. There's still time for Ms Johnson or someone outside Allison's cruel circle of friends to come to the rescue. In any event Trevor's not going to pass through Allison. It will be treated as a medical emergency, and Trevor will be extracted even if Miss Johnson has to punch Allison in the duodem to make her throw Trevor up. Won't throw up...here comes the scapel. Even if good characters can't make it in time to save Trevor, they're not just going to let Trevor's body get partly digested and pooped out. How would that look like at a funeral when his body is resized. They are going to make an extraction immediately, ideally with vomiting, surgery if necessary. There was a joke news article about a circus dwarf being swallowed by a circus hippo, and how laxatives were being given to the hippo to retrieve the body. You could tell the article was fake, because even if a hippo could swallow a dwarf, they wouldn't give it laxatives to retrieve a human body, they would immediately cut open the hippo, even if the dwarf was already dead.
If Trevor were to die, then it would be hard to keep the classes going. The enthuasism by the boys, and parent and administrative support for the program would be gone.Trevor and Calvin have parents, friends, and family. This wouldn't be a convict or political prisoner without a family whose dissapearence would be easy to cover up. Parents expect school safety, and schoolboys being sexually abused, hurt, and even killed by classmates would cause a big stink. Hard questions would be asked about school safety, and if the shrinking system is just conditioning school girls to become sadistic killers without consciences, worse than most of the actual convicts. If a classmate dies a death that would be ruled a death by torture, involving torture, sexual humilation, and cannibalism, it could be a worse scandal than any other school murder, and draw unwanted negative attention on the shrinking program, and it's social conditioning. It's hard to believe that Allison and her friends can't recognize the boys that they've been going to school with for a long time, whereas Miss Johnson who hasn't known them as long can recognize them individually and hear them. If Trevor and/or others die then Allison and her sadistic friends, would at the very least be expelled, likely imprisoned, maybe even shrunk themselves, any of which would drag in their parents as well. If Trevor were to die, it would have a huge snowball effect against the program, and make it hard to keep it under wraps. It would be like a gang war. Nobody cares if it's criminals killing each other, but if an innocent bystander like a child gets killed it's front page news and the indifference is now something that people are talking about. Even if the authorities succeed in covering up Trevor's death if he were to die, it would put a severe damper on the program, the classes, Miss Johnson's mood, and the enthusiasm of the surviving boys. Of course, if Trevor is still saved and this becomes a nearly fatal near diaster, rather than a fatal diaster, no major scandal or coverup is necessary, and things can mostly resume as normal for the characters, the learning program, and the story.
If Trevor and the other boys are saved, then Miss Johnson can probably give more of a "scared straight" style of safety class, like a real life version of those deliberately gruesome educational safety films. The safety warning of Alexis showing the little skull of the guy she ate just isn't enough. Miss Johnson could get condemned "volunteers" from her house, and shrink all of her students, maybe even the girls too to teach them some empathy, to show the ugliness and potential danger of what can happen, up close and at scale. She can then force her students to see the condemned die up close at the same size. Making them fall into hot coffee and boil alive, get stepped on, and force the students to see the squished bodies up close, and other macabre potential ways to die. Heck, she can even have the students watch her swallow the condemned alive, along with a lighted camera, so they can watch them slowly suffocate to death inside her. She can even spread her butt cheeks and poop out the remains of the condemned in front of the shrunk class and make them observe the bodies in her poop. Like a darker version of when she went number 2 during the bodily functions lesson. Whatever it takes to show them not to fuck around while shrunk, and show the ugliness of what shrinkees can go through, to teach safety to the boys, and maybe empathy to the girls. Of course, if Trevor dies such a lesson would be in incredibly bad taste. Please let Trevor and the rest of the boys live.
Author's Response: I agree, Ms. Johnson is such an interesting character. The way she acts, the way she treats her students versus disposables… it really is interesting when you think about it. She’s on this personal mission to educate the next generation of boys so the next generation of girls can have more than just measly disposables to play with and form real relationships with. Even if the students are never shrunken again after this class, they will have learned so much about women that their future partners will be practically begging to say thank you to Ms. Johnson. There will be so much less awkwardness in their relationship and marriage since the boys will have already seen ‘a lot’.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and going back and forth how Ms. Johnson should interact with tiny disposables. By this point of the story/world I picture her as having been around them so much that they really are just little objects to her. Her work and her friends/coworkers in developing the tech has sort of made her blind towards what happens to them. I would imagine she’s also dealt with a lot of people/criminals who were rude to her and did not respect her (or anyone) in the slightest. So they had their chance at being good people in the world but chose otherwise and now this is their sentence. Plus Ms. Johnson gets horny just like everyone else, so even she (with disposables at her disposable), sometimes wants to let loose. But Ms. Johnson’s experience in losing Todd in Chapter 1 really shaped her view of what personal tinies mean to her and just how important it is to protect those who are “good”. The students for example are both young (so their minds can be moulded) and respectful so she can see the vast amounts of potential in them, and thus wants to protect them with every ounce of her being. Ms. Johnson is a pretty important person in the world so she knows and has seen a lot. Plus she knows a lot of important people. Sometimes accidents and mistakes happen though.
I love the investment in the characters (especially Trevor and Calvin)! That’s one of the hardest things to create as a writer I’m finding. There’s a lot of trial-and-error and trying to map out the complexities of the characters. But I do think there is a lot of benefit in keeping characters alive (though deaths do serve a very important purpose at times). I have no idea who said it, but writing a character alive is a lot harder than it is to kill them off. So I like to think that effort equals quality. I think you’ll end up being pretty satisfied with how I have the story planned out. I think I have the next few chapters laid out in a pretty detailed manner but the second half of the story is still very fluid and changes slightly every day. I have a lot of work to do to try and figure out how each character’s story finishes and the development that each of them (and the world) will go through. One of the best things about this story is that half of my cast is really quite young. So even if they go through a pretty traumatizing experience, their young minds are pretty effective in masking that with the good or arousing points of what happened. Ms. Johnson is pretty smart and can recognize this too. The next few chapters are really going to highlight how the boys have learned some valuable life lessons but how they might be able to move on from there (which I think will be easier and happen faster than one might expect because they’re so young).
So will Trevor survive? Well you’re going to have to read to find out :) Whether or not he does, Ms. Johnson is an interesting character to follow because she had her own traumatic event back in Chapter 1. Wonder how she’ll react to one of her students dying or almost dying. There’s another interesting question that’s kind of hidden in there too. Has a student ever died or been seriously injured at school as part of the shrinking? That question is still in the back of my mind and the answer really could be yes or no. Chapter 1 hinted at Ms. Johnson having a good track record but Alexis also hinted that the student with the worst grade doesn’t exactly fare so well. Fun to think about. Allison is also someone who’s now involved in this because she was the one to swallow Trevor in the first place, thinking that he was just a disposable. Perhaps her view on the world will change a bit too.
Chapter 10 was pretty big and introduced a lot of tough questions. I’ve been sort of working on writing all these questions down so we can answer them before the story is finished haha.
I love all your ideas by the way! Tiny bodies being scattered throughout one’s poop, a very intense demonstration, they’re all fun! Thanks for your review and for being so interested in what I’m writing! I love being poked with questions. Sometimes I’ve got a few secrets stored away that I’m just trying to keep concealed and sometimes there are things that I’ve completely overlooked. I don’t even really consider this to be “my” story. There have been so many interesting suggestions through the comments and from outside this website that have been shaping the story for the better and really adding some important details.
