Reviewer: V11 Signed
Date: October 05 2018
Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Milked
Just brainstorming: edit it so that you include a bit about a slightly stretchable property of his flesh due to his sickness. Then edit the throat scene to make it more visceral and invasive. Perhaps also add an edit about him needing deep tissue massages occasionally to counteract his illness. That could be played out as torture with Felicity's smiling encouragement versus body crushing massage in her hands/whatever. Both additions allow more complex scenarios he can realistically survive. Mom meditating w/ him at her folded feet. Later and smaller, she lets him sleep on her pillow and her face rolls over onto him, plastering him to her. Stuck in a hairbrush. Trapped/plastered behind knee while she sleeps. Sister trusses him up (very tiny) and ties him to mom's trinket anklet. Ear cleaner. Taped at toe section of shoe. Hid in jewelry box. Kept in dollhouse/playset. Human toering. Booger. Chewing gum. Cake decoration. Naked yoga? Eek. Much darker things too but I've said enough.
Author's Response: We have some very similar ideas! There are a few of those things that you can expect to see very soon. I had planned to include more visceral and invasive chapters involding various body parts not often written about so that edit would really help and set the foundations for a lot of great stuff, it's what i needed to hear. I kinda want to talk about my ideas and yours but in the end its probably better if we keep it spoiler free here. Keep checking back in though, your comments are always great. thanks!