Reviewer: Max333 Signed
Date: January 26 2017
Title: Chapter 1: Going to Class (Story Start)
Hey there !
Great work here, once again. Love all of your stories.
Still, what I think is wrong here is always the same : too many choices. I think I've told you my thoughts about that before, but by giving us too much choices I do not think you're giving us more quality.
I've thought about interactive stories for a while now, and it seems to me that Max 2 choices every 2 or 3 chapters would be better than 3+ choices every chapter.
That way, you can create more content.
At some point, too much choice leads to work that can't be done. You're only human.
What do you think ?
Author's Response: That's a pretty good point.
I feel like I started with the intention of actually going through with each and every choice, back when I thought of the chapters more of size related interactions and not stories that will eventually reach a satisfying conclusion.
Recently, especially after what I've done with all the rewriting, I've thought less about doing all the choices and more of just creating a single flowing arc.
I think I will keep the multiple choices after each story, but make all but one the 'canon' option. But I won't identify which one that is until I write it. That way, I can mess around with different size based things with each character as I feel like it without it detracting from the overall narrative.
I'll give an example, because that might not make sense by itself (I'll use stuff from Shrunk in College: The Classroom).
- So for the Orfino route, in Chapter Orfino1.3, I give these 3 choices (see below). The way I'll do from now on it is identify the chapter that was already written as canon, and any other that I feel like writing in the future as noncanon or gaiden chapters. And I'll change it so it is obvious that Option 1 will happen, and the other two are 'what if?' stories. But I'll need to mess around with some of the endings of chapters to make that clear from now on. But it won't be obvious which one is the main option until I write it, unless I'm really certain about the next chapter.
- Climb up the end of the couch where Ms. Orfino’s head is, to contact her directly. (Go to Chapter Orfino1.3.1)
- Climb up the end of the couch where Ms. Orfino’s feet are, to continue to live out his fantasies.
- Ms. Orfino moves her leg, smothering him again with her bare feet and toes.
Obviously, this isn't in place yet, and I kinda just solidified my idea after reading your review. But I will in the near-future, make that change.
Thanks a lot for the feedback, and I'm glad you're enjoying the stories!
Take care!