Reviewer: Jay Signed
Date: September 24 2011
Title: Chapter 1: It Begins
I do enjoy this story and appreciate the updates. The narration inside her head is great and is fun to read. Some helpful suggestions would be to really, really try and make your chapters longer. I would also stop leaving such huge spaces in between paragraphs, as it's kind of distracting. I know you said you had writer's block awhile back, but just realize that no one is perfect and most of us would honestly seee you punch out more chapters and take this thing to a conclusion than have to wait a month in between updates. Bottome line: Don't be so hard on yourself!
I like the shrinking virus affecting all males now, as it's going to allow for you to expand upon the story. That said, I would try and keep it primarily about this nuculear family, as it's more manageable to finish. Obviously, as a foot guy, I really hope to see the brother absolutely demoralized and crushed emotionally from being his sister's little toe toy! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you for your advice and constructive critisism, as for the spacing between paragraphs I use a single space betwee the paragraphs unless there is a time skip, then I use " * " to signify the space. I will try to update sooner, but I also work night shift so I'm often asleep most of the day, or I just don't have time to write it, this chapter in particular had been baking in my mind this entire time.