Also, sorry to double post, I did have some inklings stirring in my mind but nothing concrete of where this was going until the finishing paragraphs.

I just love this chapter. It's such an honest, only SLIGHTLY exaggerated representation of the sorts of ways people like us may act or behave in real life if we ever had the opportunity to take that risk and live out the desires so near and dear to our souls

This was a wonderful story!!! Especially loved the little details showing just how broken the tiny really got over time like eating the leftover food. As well, Maya would never admit it but she's definitely enjoying this and I love that for her :)

Fantastic, great work, especially for a first outing. Using first-person perspective is also a nice touch. I think some of the description work tends to focus a bit much on trying to get the reader to envision exactly what you envision in your head.

e.g. "I exited the city and the entire floor was this darkish off-whitish yellow? The lack of light made it hard to tell. It was very flat, although it seemed that far off in the distance there were areas that lowered down.  I walked out onto it and seemed solid, but also spongy at the same time, also slightly damp. It felt kind of gross to touch but at least it was solid"

A good start, but we can make it better. You do some work in creating atmosphere but it's buried underneath the rote descriptions. If I were to improve the atmosphere I'd go with something like...

"At the city's outskirts, the ground spread out into a dim plain which seemed endless. The floor beneath my feet became spongier, damper, danker as I continued, and the scent of sweat became even stronger. I took a moment to touch the ground; it was soft and a little gross, but still firm enough to walk on."

Trust your reader: their imagination is very powerful. It'll be more than enough to fill in the details which you're thinking. In the meantime, you need to focus on creating the basic atmosphere and mood, describing the sensations of touch and smell, and give insight into the POV character's mental state. Which you DID DO in this fic at many points, so you're still in a good place!

This also isn't to say rote description is bad. It can be great! But if you're more discerning about where and when you use it, your writing will really shine.

Aside from that, I also noticed some reeeeeally long paragraphs near the end. Ideally, you want your story to be a mix of short and medium-length paragraphs, with only the ocassional long one in there. That's a simple trick that improves readability sooo much.

Anywho, big, blue-haired goddess girls ftw, god. I would spend 9 lifetimes in that Converse if I could. Keep writing, I would adore seeing more stuff with Maria in it.