Reviewer: Tigernach Signed
Date: November 02 2016
Title: Chapter 1: Meet John!
You have made a very interesting start here. I like that it has seemed rather normal at the beginning, without fetish reference, until late in the chapter. The assistance of Ms. Deforest in the gym during his weight lifting was unexpected (I'm not familiar with weight lifting as to techniques, so her being able to support his lift seems strange to me.) But no matter... Your story seems well written, other than the odd bit of punctuation ('Ms. Littles desk': 'Ms. Little's desk.', etc.) Keep up the good work and you'll be a first-class story teller in no time! You appear to be a 'natural'.
Author's Response: Hey man thanks for your review, It is very much appreciated. And as for. Ms. Deforests assisntance in the gym, The technique she has is what I use with my partner when I'm in the gym, Arms under the lifters, right behind them, almost touching, sqatting down with them as they go. If they fail, the lifter will more or less fall in your arms, and you can help them get the weight racked up (Put back). And he punctuation is an issue I've had for some time, in a lot of writting. Both for leisure and in school. I try to keep them to a minimum. But thank you for pointing that out, I'll do my best to be more reticent in the future.
Thanks for your compliment and Have a great day!