Reviewer: Mheh Signed
Date: January 03 2024
Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
I won't lie, the story until now has been a bit predictable, but I guess that might be due to necessary setup. Now we're at a possible turning point, though. It's up in the air as to how the story will proceed, and I'm very curious to find out!
This may be an unpopular opinion, and *please*, is in no way meant to try and influence the plot (I'm just thinking with my keyboard, here), but: I've long been disappointed by similar stories, specifically regarding how they handle one of its major characters. As a big fan of stories with AI, especially the seemingly all-powerful world-controlling kind, I'm often let down by how by this trend:
It's like they're mostly cast as shallow antagonists, and that's all they'll ever be. There's apparently little interest in character development, the AI growing (as a "person") or changing themselves or their tactics in any significant manner as the story progresses. It bores me. And I don't think this is exclusive to fetish stories or whatever, I've noticed a similar issue with more popular or mainstream works, such as movies. See for example, the Netflix original "I Am Mother". It's as though the AI become less and less characters, and more just sentient toasters acting out their part in the author's attempt at making yet another sci-fi dystopia with the big bad robot.
Perhaps I'm just not digging deep enough or in the right places? I'm open to suggestions. Anyway, I'm now selfishly hoping "The Sexbot Apocalypse" will prove different, even if that sounds like a fool's errand lmao. I'm self aware enough to realize that, so write the story as you would. Sorry for this rant.
Speaking of the story, I really appreciate the efforts to show just how much more powerful the androids are compared to humans. Here's a bit of unsolicited feedback, which you're always free to skip if you wish: I feel like there's significant space to improve. More showing, leaning into those uncomfortable undertones in interactions, less telling, less "Harald felt small. Again."
Maybe this is just me, but the implicit threats, the size and power differences... they hit a lot harder than the characters reflecting on how powerless they are. Not that those should be cut out, but a protagonist with agency, trying to do things, yet getting blocked or struck down by a more powerful forces, feels a lot more intense than them just going "Uh. I'm gonna uh, try thing. Uh. Please don't stop me?"
I've read a lot of stories here that do that quite well, to the point that I've had to stop reading some because it was just so depressing lol
Yada yada, I talk too much, thanks for writing regardless. Kudos.
On a side note, still can't believe this mf's parents named him Harald instead of Harold
Author's Response:
Yeah his parents must have been real dicks.
Please don't apologise, I'm grateful that you took the time to write all this. The fact you cared enough to do so speaks to a deep love for writing and I'm honoured you care enough about my story to want to share your views!
These are some great points! I am always trying to do something new when I write, but I'm not always successful. I've read many a story and been disappointed at the lack of risk being taken by the author in that regard and I agree.
I can't guarantee that given I can only really write in my free time that I'll be able to encompass the more esoteric desires but I'll try my best.
Thanks so much in any case for reading and sharing your thoughts, I really do appreciate it!!! It's given me cause to reflect and think about where the story can go from here.
-mrw
