Reviewer: FreemanCD Signed
Date: August 31 2016
Title: Chapter 2: Luna's Birthday
Hey, Silent One. I was excited to see this interesting concept and even more excited to see who was helming it. I, an unabashed Naomi and Lorelai fan, have been looking forward to more from you.
Anyway, here's a little profile I have done:
George Lutz
Male, 21
Black, short, bang-less hair
Brown eyes w/ glasses
Pale skin
5'6"
Scrawny/Lanky
Schedule- Drama: 10%; English:40%; Biology: 100%; Mathematics: 1%; History: 70%; Physical Education: 1%
Submissive, Neurotic. Prone to anxiety. Intelligent in fields, but unable to ratchet up grades to due his lack of punctuality, often ending in tardies as well. Dating No one. Madly In Love w/ Luna. When approaching her, he often thinks he's saying the wrong thing at every time, and ultimtely is depressed about himself. I envision him constanly wearing a brown tux, red tie and matching pants.
I have one interesting story idea:
Character is pressured into helping a bully get a better grade, and ends up spending so much time, xe lowers xir own grade, letting the bully over power xir. Every time xe tries to get their grade up, the bully beats xir. I could see George doing this, hat is my self insert, but your characters could work in the situation.
Author's Response: Your self-insert is madly in love with mine? That's . . . actually pretty funny.
Also, I'm glad you enjoyed the dynamic between Naomi and Lorelei. They're fun to write, but I'm loath to write them when I'm not either making a present for Choreo or collaborating with him.
Also, it's gotta sting for little George that it's the two classes Luna is at her best that he's flea-size . . . heck, Tanya, her/my ever-possessive girlfriend, is taller than him/you in almost every class!
You suggested it, George will be in it. Unfortunately, without anyone making themselves into a bully, I may have to dip into my well of characters . . .