Reviewer: MadHatter Signed
Date: September 30 2017
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Izzellah
I waited to add a last review until the final chapter was released this time. And for the record you never really made me mad or something, I just have a hard time picturing that uncaring of a family dynamic is all... Maybe i'm a weird one. And on the record for sure, I actually REALLY like your attention to detail and characters you made. If they were boring, I wouldn't have had anything to say at all now would I :D
Anyway, I was legit looking forward to the final chapter and maybe even and epilogue after your chapter "crush". I thought you were heading for that mutual ending where everyone begins to see a little more eye to eye and starts to respect Izzy's feelings more, especially after the ending of the chapter...
The interactions and development in the chapter "crush" to me were great. Finally saw her mom truly being a mom and that was awesome to me, I didn't feel like she was being a bitch at all anymore. It was well done man, and definitely felt right.
The theropist was odd in this chapter though.. I would have thought she wouldn't have been that vindictive to Izzy given she wasn't doing anything wrong at all. That felt oddly misplaced for her character if she was really trying to "help" anyone...
Brenda turned out to be an interesting character as well to me. The girl who had a crush on Izzy for a long time finally alone with her for the first time and Izzy's first time seeing someone she called a friend without her sister or anyone else around. I really thought this was done well too. You do great with detail and context man, and I enjoy it very much lol
The interactions between her sister and her friends were good too.. different opinions from other sources on her treamment of Izzy and her true feelings being put into thought about how she wanted this to happen to Izzy or at least something bad per say, and how she was feeling then. This was good as well how you handled it. It had promise for Sabrina maybe trying to find a happy medium with her sister finally.
And then I read the final chapter... I really don't know what to say exactly on it.
I really saw it going somewhere else... I had forseen Izzy maybe accepting her status a little more and her family beginning to work WITH her rather then treating her like an object. They already listened to her, but ignored anything she wanted. It just felt bad really. My ending was completely different from this outcome you had. I honestly wonder why you went this route legitamtely? I'm curious to why you felt she just had to go through with something like that after what had JUST happened..
It just really confuses me is all. I honestly felt the family could work it out in the end, even with her injury and trauma... why end it like this then?
Reagardless of my winded thoughts, it was a good read and I wait patiently for your next one to show up in the recent updates feed!
Author's Response: Ah MadHatter coming through with another good comment!
First things first I', kind of happy you feel the way you do about the ending although I will say it's a failing on my part if you didn't see it coming. I obviously didn't foreshadow it enough. It's weird because in my head that's the only ending that could happen. The happy ending you speak of could've happened. They were so close. It would've been so easy. And that's why I didn't go for it. Without going into a whole character synopsis I think it shows Izzy's biggest character flaw and it's something she realizes after crush. Maybe it happened to early, maybe I could've squeezed out a few more chapters but I didn't want to drag the story long. It was originally ten chapters when I outlined it. Maybe it would've benefited with a moment to breath first. Something I'll consider next time. And in a way I still think it's a happy ending,
Did you know "Crush is probably the chapter I was most worried about? I'm glad at least one person enjoyed it. I didn't know if Brenda's relationship with Izzy had any impact or felt real. Brenda was barely featured in two chapters than gone until the end.So at least I did one thing right
Mrs. Nelson as coined by deisel although I prefer "Eddie" I can see why her actions might come as a surprise because her character hasn't been fleshed out all the way. I tried to hint at somethings, but you can't win em all. She's still pretty important though so maybe I'll do a better job in the future.
And as the family dynamic? Well I never saw it as uncaring. I tried to show from the very first moment Izzy shrunk that her mom knew she would leave or at least try. That's why she came off as a little cruel or uncaring. Shrinking isn't the worst thing that would happen to Izzy in the outside world. Not by a longshot. And Gloria knew that and she'd prepared for it since her daughter was ten and begging to follow her father to Mexico. That's why she kept the tags up for that stupid mustang!
From Sabrina's perspective I keep telling myself she's twelve. To me that justifies her actions and failure to understand Izzy's feelings. It's an age where you start to think your figuring stuff out but don't really know anything. In my opinion if Sabrina had just taken Izzellah outside after the chapter "Therapy" and just said "go" that happy ending you spoke of would've happened cause all Izzy wanted was an opportunity and to know Sabrina looked up to her and believed in her. She didn't though. She just held on tighter.
Well now that I've completely ruined the story by explaing it I'll say thanks MadHatter. I knew you weren't actually mad it was just a joke on your name. These characters aren't done, so look forward to that. Be seeing you around...or well not really because this is the internet...and a writing based website. Uhhhh...be maybe reading a comment from youor story in the future perhaps? Does that work? Whatever. If you have more questions just drop a comment If you haven't noticed by now I like talking. Later days.