Date: February 23 2024 7:37 PM Title: “Safe” space
Can we please get a more feet centered chapter?
Date: September 11 2022 5:51 AM Title: “Safe” space
WOW! I didn't think this story would get an update.
I wanna say that I empathize so much about wanting to write more but not being able to regularly,
It's also rough to have a high read count and then not that many reviews in comparison. (It's especially interesting when people favorite your story but then don't leave a review, I've done it on a couple with the intention of writing a longer review once I had the time, but there's always a time crunch isn't there).
So, firstly I'd like to say that I really enjoy this story.
I think the interaction in chapter 5 between Chris and Claire was intriguing, I was very surprised that Chris would even care if Richard had a rough home life. In really hard situations we tend to lose empathy which Chris is definitely going through. I think Claire was absolutely right and who cares if Richard has a rough home life, that's no excuse for being such a jerk. (Personally, I hope he gets iced out as a character since he's a guy and well this is a giantess website. That said, I do appreciate the touch of realism of Chris not only interacting with girls. I think maybe Jas asserting her dominance over Rich would be really nice, I see this happening through her wanting to have her fun with Chris and Rich interrupting her and Jas just absolutely destroying Rich because she wants Chris to be her toy alone).
Now onto the review. Chapter 6 Bully, is a great piece of butt content.
This is in part smut writing so it's alright to be indulgent in the descriptions of the sexy stuff. You have a lot to work with in these situations so don't be afraid to expand the descriptions of what's happening. You can really slow down the action in those moments. Jas had a whole 2 mile run, you can go into the pressure of her cheeks crushing him repeatedly as she runs, the rising sweat as she runs. The feeling of her hole squeezing his face as she runs. Stuff like that.
Kat is an intriguing character, the envious and jealous little sister seeing her older brother in a whole new light. Would love to see her interactions with him continued, maybe even some partnering up with Jas. Tag-team-torture would be fun to read. Alyssa is also a fun concept to see, the uncertainty with what to do and still liking him is something that has potential.
The constructive, and emphasis on constructive, criticism I have is one, you already acknowledged switching around the perspective, you can have multiple perspectives, just keep it consistent per section. For example, you can split it up with a
*
and have that indicate a new perspective. And two, your dialogue could be a bit more natural. It's not dreadful, but it could flow a bit better. Don't be too hard on yourself because this story is interesting and despite its roughness I'm still invested. That said, it would be good to focus on improving the overall presentation. I don't want that to discourage you from continuing because at its roots this is a good story.
Date: May 26 2020 4:52 PM Title: Introduction
Oof....well...that was uncomfortable
I am really hoping he can fix his relationship with his sister and they become great friends and well have a great happy ending with everyone treating him nicely and him and claire becoming a very close couple and maybe when they have their date things get naughty in the bedroom and they both have a great time
Keep up the great work mate!
Date: May 25 2020 10:27 PM Title: Bully!
Great story so far! Claire is so sweet!
Part of me hopes that, to keep Chris safe, Kris decides that it's in Chris's best interest if she keeps him in her shoes/socks indefinitely when they go to school. As she would be taking greater responsibility for him, she would tell him that he needs to do his part for her, too, like squirming between her toes and under her soles and massaging and kissing them in gratitude for her taking such good care of him.
Maybe this would lead to Chris's mom or little sister "taking care of him" in similar ways outside of school, and experience his "gratefulness" as well.
I would also love to see this new ownership affect his blossoming relationship with Claire, as Kris (and/or others) emabarassingly dominate and tease him in front of her.
This is just a suggestion, but I'd love to see it!
Either way, you're doing great so far! Keep it up!
Date: May 25 2020 5:51 PM Title: Bully!
I'm loving this so far!
Date: May 25 2020 12:03 AM Title: A New Ally
Awww! So freaking cute! I hope they are very happy together!
But more shenanigans are on the way and hopefully claire can keep him safe😊
P.s. thanks for using my idea 😁
Date: May 24 2020 9:08 AM Title: A Sudden Enemy
I really love the relationship between Cris and Kris. Friends (Maddy and Claire) and foes (Richard and Jas) are presented, and I can't wait to see the development as Maddy also seems to be romantically interested in Chris
But the most interesting element so far is Kat, she adds a good element of suspence and conflict to the family chemistry. Why did she suddenly changed when Chris shrunk? Does she really think of her brother as a worm now or there is more to it than meets the eye? I can't wait to see how you will develop her character and her relationship with Chris.
I am adding your story to my favorites. Thank you for finding time to write this story and sharing with us. Five stars :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for supporting the story! It has been fun to write so far. I love giving Chris a voice and seeing where the adventure takes him. As for kat, I definitely have some ideas for how thats gonna go. Poor Chris just wants whats best for everyone, If only everyone were like Chris lol
Date: May 23 2020 7:54 PM Title: Introduction
Would you mind naming the chapters? Makes it easier to keep track and go back to things.
Author's Response:
I will try my best, but wow do I have a hard time trying to figure out names for the chapters in this story lol but I will see what I can do.
Date: May 22 2020 2:55 PM Title: Introduction
Very intresting premise I like it
Kris is actually pretty sweet
And i hope our little Protagonist ends up with mandy at the end or maybe something will happen that claire saves him and he falls for her? Be very cute either way they both seem like awesome girls! As long as we get a good ending and a cute couple for our boy and one of these Beautiful girls!
Lots of shenanigans coming our way but I just hope we have a good sweet ending.
Author's Response:
I liked your idea, and i hope you enjoy the next chapter when it gets uploaded. Thanks for being a reader!
Date: May 22 2020 10:24 AM Title: Along For The Ride
Superb chapter! Really enjoying the shenanigans our little protagonist gets into :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading! I try to put a lot of thought into each chapter before i actually sit down and write them. I actually do a full outline before i get started, but i still never really know where the chapter is going to go. Hope you enjoy any shenanigans coming up!
Date: May 20 2020 9:29 PM Title: Introduction
Love where this is going... Maybe in one of the chapters the sis will stich him to her shirt and forget about him. I am really enjoying the fact that she is so ditzy.
Date: May 20 2020 7:27 PM Title: Introduction
I always love these types of stories, so I'm very interested to see where this goes! I'd love to see some unaware things happen with our shrunken protagonist, and I hope to read an update soon. :)
Date: May 20 2020 4:58 PM Title: Introduction
I like the concept a lot. A indestructible brother and a ditzy giant sister, so much potential. I look forward to the next chapters. As for a suggestion how about Chris getting stuck to his sister's thong for awhile?
Date: May 20 2020 4:10 PM Title: Introduction
It's very interesting. I always enjoy the concept of being flattened and getting stuck to girls' bodies. Just be a little more careful with some spelling mistakes and you will rock it.