Jessica, nice little story you've got here. I loved all the hot, sweaty foot action. I also like how you did so much in so little space; I feel like the reader really got to know Jessica in a very short amount of time. On top of that, you left out a lot as well, leaving the reader wanting to know more about our mysterious protagonist. She seemed very comfortable with her shrinking abilities -- how did she come by these and what other adventures has she been on?

I only have one minor bit of criticism, and that deals with the narrative perspective. The story is clearly from Jessica's limited perspective since we can hear her thoughts to an extent ("yet stiff upper lip girl -- service with a smile!"). That being said, when the man is dropped into her shoe (loved that part obviously) the perspective switches to his. This interrupts the reader's experience by proxy of Jessica a little; I think a better way would be for Jessica to imagine how hot it's in there for the little man, and how sweaty and uncomfortable her Converse is. You're obviously a pro at these descriptions, so it would just be a subtle shift more than anything.

In any case, I really enjoyed your excellent story. Please, please write more sexy foot action!

Author's Response:

Aha, it looks like you caught me - basically the paragraph of smut was written separately and the framework of the story was added on after. Wonderful advice, and I really appreciate this - though it's quite unknown if I'll ever sit down and write more.

Well what is it they say?
If the shoe fits, then why not! :-).

Author's Response:

Mmmhmm~ If only more people could be squished for being jerks. Thanks for the review~