When shrinking is finally possible, you volunteer to be your sisters toy for the holiday
This is a great story, you really need to keep going.
Remember the 6 rules of storytelling:
1. Obviously enough, spelling and grammar. Horrible spelling and grammar will always cause a story to bomb.
2. Always start with a strong introduction paragraph and ending paragraph. Without them you run the risk of confusing the reader.
3. Get some time management skills to use your time wisely. Set a reminder to continue your story on something like your computer, IPAD, or Smart Phone, etc. So many stories here wind up unfinished and abandoned and there good stories, but the author either forgets about them or they just don't have the time. But those who don't have time do have time, they’re just not managing it well enough.
4. Never limit the number of chapters you are going to make, creativity cannot be limited even if it is only part one.
5. Stay consistent in your writing. In other words do not interrupt the flow of a story with a lot of jumping from area to the next or in your case, from one time period to another. Its ok once in a long while but don't do it constantly.
6. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT! KEEP YOUR CHARACTERS CONSISTANT. DO NOT CHANGE YOUR CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ON A WHIM OR JUST BECAUSE IT SUITS THE SITUATION. That's just disappointing and makes it so people don't want to read anymore.
A shrinking man story that is told from the perspective of a GTS writer with a secretive giantess fetish. He trys to keep this a secret from his new wife, and when she does discover it on her own, her sister joins in and the two of them bring his fantasy to reality.
You have a great story going, but I fear you are about to make several fatal story mistakes:
1. Get some time management skills to use your time wisely. Set a reminder to continue your story on something like your computer, IPAD, or Smart Phone, etc. So many stories here wind up unfinished and abandoned and there good stories, but the author either forgets about them or they just don't have the time. But those who don't have time do have time, they’re just not managing it well enough.
2. Never limit the number of chapters you are going to make, creativity cannot be limited even if it is only part one.
3. Stay consistent in your writing. In other words do not interrupt the flow of a story with a lot of jumping from area to the next or in your case, from one time period to another. Its ok once in a long while but don't do it constantly.
4. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT! KEEP YOUR CHARACTERS CONSISTANT. DO NOT CHANGE YOUR CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ON A WHIM OR JUST BECAUSE IT SUITS THE SITUATION, like you did with Trish. In the story, you've been foreshadowing her as a mean girl, but suddenly out of nowhere without any explanation she goes from mean spoiled brat to caring shy girl. That's just disappointing and makes it so people don't want to read anymore.
I've seen it happen many time and the story always bombs. You have the makings of a great story, but you are teetering on the edge of great and bomb. I hope you take my advice and I hope see even more of you writing in the future.
Angered by his girlfriend's slovenly ways and stinking feet, James decides to create a list of house rules. Abbey doesn't take this particularly well and decides its time for James to get a little perspective
Hurry with the next chapter. So far it's great. Please continue!!!
Adam wakes up finding himself in far more danger than he expected...
You did great on this chapter and personally I think his sister jess should be next. I think Brandy should be last because I'm a big fan of the girl who hates you stuff and on top of that, she can take him home which unlike being next door should be far enough away that he ends up having to get her attention in hopes that because they all got along in the past she'll help, of course it doesn't and she's quite unmoved by his plight and ends with her keeping him as a toy and laughs at his predicament while using and then discarding him after an incident which makes her think he's dead and laughs about it. Of course he's damaged but alive and makes it home on her unaware body. The ending is up to you, but if you go for a deathscene my suggestion is where his mother (or sister if your truly against using his mother for one reason or another) comes home and unawaringly finishes him off preferably not crushing until after death. Maybe fart or toilet, foot stink suffocation or sqeezing toe suffocation, or drowned in some way even if it's just in a bottle of her water.
Dude this is a great story so far and cant wait for what happens next. These are just ideas, so do not mistake me for trying to tell you what to do or how to write, The most obvious thing you SHOULD do is when Linda wakes up have her forget Laura temporarily and even letting out a few morning farts with her still in there and not remember (mostly out of morning grog) until she sees a reminder written by those men along with the person, place and time to take her. After remembering she should just leave her to suffer in there until she's ready to go. THIS next part is my own suggestion, but she should look at who it is she's taking Laura to and be quite entertained because she knows the person well. Either a friend or you said she was a single mother so maybe a daughter who had recently married(richly I might add) and you can make the excuse that Linda refuses to take charity even from family to explain why she doesn't have an easier life. Upon seeing this she calls them up and here is where I have two ideas... the first idea is she simply explains to the person that she will be bringing Laura over, but she will be late(to extend the butt time torment) because she has errands to run... The other idea is that if you choose her daughter buying Laura it could be as a gift for her mother and Laura will spend 4 long years as Linda’s and sometimes hers daughter/s's toy/pet/slave. At the end of which her daughter will call saying Laura disappeared and Linda keeps Laura permanently. I no matter which side you go you really SHOULD do alternate endings. And one should definitely be with Laura getting back to normal and maybe even getting her hand on a little Linda.
Thank you very much for your imput. Unfortunately, I have already written up the rough draft and this next chapter will be the end of Linda's presence for the remainder in the story. Unless I do the alternate ending thing which actually does intrigue me. I wasn't actually planning a chapter with Linda in control of Laura and that just kind of happened. The story definitely revolves around Laura and the woman she is being sold to. But, and this is just a guess, you like it when the small person gets the hell tortured out of them. In which case I can promise you that you will very much enjoy reading a chapter coming up which has nothing but bad things for the mini Laura.
I do like the ideas you have and if this story wasn't something I already had planned I would definitely be taking suggestions. If you are interested though I do take requests on occasion and could write a story more suited to your likes if you want to go down that route. Of course it would be only after I finished this one but just a thought. Other than that, I very much appreciate the comment and review and hope you enjoy reading the rest of my story. Cheers
A beautiful woman models shoes for a commercial for the company Devine Footwear, which has her work with a woman who is just 3 inches tall. Will this tiny woman be seen by her as a coworker or will she use her height against the tiny lady? And who's side will their director be on?
I love this so far. Just a suggestion but this last part should all be a trick thought up by Maria so she can get Dianne as a permenent toy/slave. Not to try and dictate your story mind you. I just really like when girls are using other girls no matter the size or fetish. I just think it wold be great if the dress was designed to be able to be worn inside out as well of coarse lisa assumes Dianne is taken out when inverted, but is "accidently worn anyway" and Maria were allowed to keep the dress and "accidently wears Dianne home"... wink wink nudge nudge;) whether you use my idea or not this is still really good. Keep it up.
Well I had something in mind that was kind of similar. I do like your idea though :)
Most of the time, having a certified genius in your social circle is a massive boon, especially when everyone involved is in college. However, genii tend to be . . . scatterbrained, and will rely on the fact that they wrote things down.
It's when said things are written on an easily-erased whiteboard that things go haywire.
Note: Rating reflects my knowledge that this WILL spiral out of control. Plus, several of these characters are based on aged-up versions of my own middle and high school friends, who have . . . colorful language. Tags reflect the story as it is, so new ones will be added as we progress. More in the Story Notes.