Emily was 5 ft 8 and she had a power , to shrink me and turn me in to objects .....
Geez, that was a bit of a harsh review. Good work on the story, I'm into the sadistic edge that you wrote about, the transformation was good, and I liked how you described her ass, it's a weakspot for me.
I hope you kept writing, it has potential.
Thornton.
This is a series of short stories involving primarily butt stuff. There will be toilet stuff, so beware.
First of all, I should apologise for not reviewing sooner. I've a few things to say, but first and foremost, thank you. I've really enjoyed reading your stories, I find them to be pure fetish stories in which you get what you want. I'm not the type of reader that sits for 5 chapters to get to know a character and then a further 3 for size changing. I like that it happens and you don't dwell on the intricacies.
The thing is though, that since you're writing one particular genre type. Booty/Butt, it can become difficult to reinvent a situation. You're solely trying to do it with different characters and scenarios. However, if you were to change up the personas of the characters, you'd have a lot more to work with and your readers would probably like to see more. A typical example. If you allowed the guy to live, or to be trapped permanently, leaving the story with an open end, the reader will see a break in your typical writing mould. Again, if the giantess was aware of the situation, it would cater to a giant audience. Many readers enjoy the giantess being dominant, so you'd have more people reading I would imagine.
You have the same general outline which can at times make the story boring. We know that any future chapter you have will have a guy, that is instantly shrunk without any explanation. He'll be apprehended by a giant girl who will unknowingly have him climb her trousers/underwear/butt, only to find himself falling back into her crack in the same manner as all the others. Then he'll be apprehended by the anus, fall in love with it, be farted on, be horrified at his situation, then succumb to her ass.
Oh, and ass gunk, when you write words like that, it feels as though you're trying to be polite. Sometimes saying the crude words like Shit, make the story work.
That's my review for your stories. I appreciate that you write for yourself, but with your talent, you can do better.
Thornton.
Very well thought-out review. Thank you. I like seeing this kind of constructive criticism.
A wizard binds a succubus for a bit of fun.
Realised that this story didn't have a 5 Star rating. (Hopefully rectified)
I'll give you a fantastic in-depth review when you post the next chapter.
I swear I'm not trying to goad you.
Much.
You're on.
A man is attacked by his fanatical ex.
Wow.
I always knew that I had a thing for the violent and dominant giantess. But this stuff has opened my eyes quite a bit. It made it better that I lived with a French girl called Camille for a year... although she did match Penny's description moreso.
Oh, and you said that Cody was on the bed, and Camille was gyrating on him... but you never mentioned that he got up. You just went on to say that Penny poked him angrily before crushing his toes. In my head, he was still on the bed, which made me stop for a second... it's the only thing that took away from the flow of the story.
Loved the fact that when Cody woke up, he didn't realise he was small, and tried to think up a means of escape for himself and Camille. It was a really nice touch that Camille knew of the shrinking beforehand. I loved how it dawned on him.
Strange confession, I found the part where Erinn wiped the remains of Camille on her pants to be erotic, I have no idea. Feel free to laugh at me.
I didn't really like Sean all that much, it was like he was overcompensating to be in the dominant male role. That, and I didn't like how the whole lead up with Cody, only to be discarded in a waste bin. I felt cheated, I thought that he would have had a much more interesting demise than to be crushed by a terrible role player.
That said, it was an enjoyable read... but it doesn't beat one of your other stories. I have to say, my ideal woman, is currently a few inches tall, and bound to a stupid wizard. I'll give you a clue, she's also a demon.
Thornton
>“What the fuck are you doing in here, you crazy bitch!?” He screamed at her, rising to his feet. He stormed towards her...
He totally did get up! I like to think I have a really good ability to play out scenes in my head so it'd be weird if I missed something like that, but thanks for keeping me on my toes at least! Also if you were reading my erotic fiction and got turned on by it, I did my job. No need to feel bad there.
Also maybe there will be a crossover! (There will not be a crossover.) But maybe I'll write Chapter 3 soon! (That's more likely.)
The files of a madman.
"I therefore expect she was a sociopath." - I quite liked this line. I have nothing against reading outside my preferred genres. I'm curious to know what you'll do with the giant man thing, and you seem to be doing fairly well so far. It was interesting to see that the guy is only 19. Makes you wonder what influenced him to persue his interest in science. A mentor maybe? Or probably just a way to justify his actions.
When you switched to the report, there was no change from Sally's dialogue. Whilst I do apologise for the "Cody didn't stand up." incident, which I still feel like an idiot for. I would suggest that when you start the report, maybe change the font to Italics so that the reader knows that Sally's reading the report.
The weight was pretty tame. Looking forward to the bunsen burner. I'm guessing that this guy is doing tests similar to Bruce Banner? Test the extremeties of the fight or flight reaction in terms of self preservation?
I'm rambling now. I'm sorry.
Lastly.
If 'Charmed' does get a third chapter, the harrassment will not stop.
Next I'll be asking for you to try out my favourite genre, or to at least incorporate it somewhat in a story.
Thornton.
Oh no, she was 19 years old. Dent's... early forties? Or so. Anyway I'm glad you've totally decided to stalk me. I feel so special now!
Stalk you? I'd like to think I'm a bit better than that. I will however harrass you with with reviews, sounds horrible, doesn't it.
Any chance you'd take a look at my story? Thornton Chronicles. It might not be to your liking, the violent and sadistic edges haven't really happened in the story yet.
And you are special, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
A childhood accident involving magic curses a brother and sister. Neither one can be normal sized at the same time, one of them always has to shrink. They make light of it though by turning their curse into a bit of a "shrinking game", they both torture each other in the most disgusting ways possible when they're tiny! But neither of them will admit how being at the mercy of the other makes them really feel.
I've just added this to my favourites. I'm looking forward to seeing what Alice will do to get back at Jake. That said, I'm also enjoying the torment that Alice is going through.
For a first story, this is really remarkable. Most writers tend to go straight to the smutty action, but you took the time to make it that bit more real. The mother's concern yet acknowledgement to their plight/curse. It really set the scene for me.
Whilst I'm not a lover of foot action, it was enough to make me write a review. Keep it up. :)
Thornton
When shrinking tenchology revolutionizes the world... Lives are forever changed to fufill the desires of others. Follow the tales of Keyla Renolds as she's rented out to random people.
This has just been added to my favourites, Violent and Butt, two of my favourite tags. I hope you continue writing this story, I'd be a total hypocrite to criticise authors that don't finish stories as I've three that are just lying around...
But yes, more. Please. Now!
Thornton
Oh look, twelve sneak-thieves going after the same girl. And they might have gotten away with it, if they weren't stupid enough to try an unlabeled bottle right in front of the locker they stole from.
======
The tags will be added as I go along, and you guys can recommend certain fates as I go (I've only planned seven of the twelve punishments thus far).
Why yes, I am borrowing this concept from a story that never got off the ground.
I'm hoping to see this get darker. I do like the dominant tiny thing you have going on with Val, and I think my favourite word in the whole thing so far is Ravenette. It's so simple yet descriptive, so thank you, I'll be stealing that.
In relation to the storyline and ideas for torment, it's of absolutely no surprise that I'm very much a fan of the 'butt' category, but I won't write out a whole paragraph on what I'd exactly like you to write, instead, I'll just throw in the comment that I'd like it to happen to the British girl. Not because I'm Irish... just, because.
Lastly, if you are the type that actually detests writing about ass. Can I request you do your best, and in return I'll write a story / chapter to your specifications.
I love the "dominant tiny" device myself, and it does come up in a few of my other works. Currently on the back burner is an AU story set in "Silent Dance" . . . and I'm gonna shut up there so that fans of the series don't jump down my throat to finish that.
Ravenette is a word I stumbled across accidentally. Turns out an old word for "blond" is "goldette", and so I wondered how it would work for other hair colors. When it came to describing my own black hair, I settled on ravenette because I'm a special snowflake, dammit. XD
Butt stuff, with Penny. Got it.
It's not that I don't like that kind of content, I just . . . suck at it. You can read "Light and Dark" for more details, but I've just never been good at certain types of content. I love feet, and yet if you asked me to write a foot-based story I'd be terrible at it. The only thing I'd call myself good at is vore, and . . . yeah.
If you are up for requests, like you implied, well . . . I'm a lesbian, I like vore/insertion/feet (in no particular order), and I have yet to see the classic elemental trio (fire/ice/lightning) be done on this site. I'm a bit of a geek (if you couldn't tell from my references to Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Gurren Lagann, several different Nintendo properties, and Soulcalibur). Anything that fits one or more of those specs would be utterly fantastic.
My next update to this will probably be in a week or two, given that I should be doing my next Holiday Special sometime soon.
Apologies, forgot to leave a rating. :)
Ah, you remembered! :)
Now, my part of the bargain I believe was to do a commission for you. I was thinking Mai / Shadow Realm for Yu-Gi-Oh, maybe a bit of the Harpy Lady Sisters.
You'll have to elaborate on what you mean by the elements, I could totally go for something a bit fantasy realm. If you're looking for specific character types, I've a decent idea of what to write.
However, if you have a bit of time, could you have a look at Thornton Chronicles. It's an old enough story that I put up, but it does have a bit of dominant F/f on it with Alisha. Anyways, let me know what your thoughts would be and I'll get started on your story right away. :)
Thornton
Never would have put it out of my mind.
Sounds . . . interesting. I admit, it's been a long time since I've watched DM (the first series of Yu-Gi-Oh), but I remember Mai and her Harpies.
It's a character archetype trio, that is also usually accompanied by the actual elements: Fire is Passionate, someone who gives in easily to emotion (regardless of what that emotion is, usually anger or love); Ice is Detachment, someone who is either emotionless or lacks empathy (meaning that the character is either a sympathetic one who's been traumatized into being a shell, or a villainous one who is sadistic, psychopathic, selfish, or some combination thereof); Lightning is Directness, someone with highly straightforward goals, who typically knows what to do and how to achieve said goals, usually at the expense of everything else.
I'll give it a look.
Thanks!
Tiny girl trapped in a tongue ring during a blowjob. Also technically my first micro story.
This has been one of the best stories I've read here. It's refreshing to see someone not being afraid to use the Giant tagline. While it's not my main area, I too have recently had an urge to write about that sort of power play.
In relation to your story, I really enjoyed it. I would have liked to have seen more of a conscious Melissa other than that one sentence to show she was aware. Her persona would have been developed more with a smug attitude.
Your descriptions are top notch and it was a very enjoyable read. Carrie's fight at the end and the emotional resilience seemed a bit forced / contrived if I had to give some form of criticism, but that's me grasping for straws.
Well done, I hope to see more of your stuff.
Thornton
Thank you so much for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed. Giant isn't my FAVORITE stuff to write about but it's just been on my mind lately. The giant was more of a passive tormentor in this one, but he performed his part well.
This was weird for me, I wanted to try writing a story where there was no discernible motive for the giantess. Like, most stories come up with some sort of "this is revenge for stealing my boyfriend yada yada" thing and I didn't want that here because I wanted part of Carrie's struggle to be trying to understand just WHY her roommate had done this to her.
I didn't know whether I was going to have her live or die until the moment I was writing it, so that might be why it felt weird, because it was the only part of the story I didn't have planned.
Cheers and thanks again for reading.
A psychopath is defined as a person with a profound lack of empathy, someone who can ignore the emotions of others because those feelings cannot reach them.
A narcissist is defined as an egomaniac supreme, someone who believes themselves more beautiful, more intelligent, more important than everyone around them.
A serial killer, typically, is a narcissistic psychopath.
I know for a fact that you hate writing about Ass.
This. This story is why you should always write about Ass. :)
Honestly m'dear, you're a gifted writer, and this is probably my favourite of all your stories so far.
I don't hate it, it just makes me nervous because I'm pretty sure I suck at it. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though!
Well . . . *blushes* . . . glad I could do so well in your eyes!
Titan Legion. A sci-fi VR shooter with incomparable graphics, its own tactile peripheral that puts you through what your character is experiencing, and a wild array of interesting characters.
One of the lesser-marketed game modes in Titan Legion, called "Morale" has an interesting handicap system. Each place you are from 1st, your height is cut in half- 2nd place is half their normal size, 3rd is 1/4 of the norm, 4th is 1/8 what they should be, et cetera. By making losing players increasingly small, they can evade bullets more easily, so it's a common newbie testing ground.
However, "Morale" was added last-minute, and not all the things it promised are fully fleshed out . . .
Excellent story, great set up for future chapters. I'm going to go and read Rythmear's version now and compare notes, but this is fantastic.
I'll chat to you later about my ideas for this. I think this could be a fun collaboration project.
I want the 4th Paid for slot.
Thanks! I'm pretty sure Rythmear can write circles around me, no problem though- I'm just a fangirl,
Well, we each agreed to write a short. It's not much of a "project", per se.
The what what?
Titan Legion. A sci-fi VR shooter with incomparable graphics, its own tactile peripheral that puts you through what your character is experiencing, and a wild array of interesting characters.
One of the lesser-marketed game modes in Titan Legion, called "Morale" has an interesting handicap system. Each place you are from 1st, your height is cut in half- 2nd place is half their normal size, 3rd is 1/4 of the norm, 4th is 1/8 what they should be, et cetera. By making losing players increasingly small, they can evade bullets more easily, so it's a common newbie testing ground.
However, "Morale" was added last-minute, and not all the things it promised are fully fleshed out . . .
Wonderful stuff. Can't believe I didn't get an invite to this Titan League party.
Both you and Silent-One are in cahoots against me!
But if you two being in cahoots gives us stories like Titan League, I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you.
Well we weren't gonna say anything, but...
This story follows Allie as she enters the Tiny Adult Film industry. Along the way she is forced to make some diffcult moral decisions.
Wonderful start, I love the Secretary.
You had me at Buttcrush. :)
Thornton.
Thank you for the review and the kind words! I might just have something planned for the secretary..
Three irresponsible girls left alone with a book of powerful dark magic and an excess of alcohol is never a good thing . . .
This is a prompt that myself, Rythmear, TheChoreographer, and Thornton are working on simultaneously. We each have until the evening of July 17 to post our own take on this very simple prompt- and you all can vote for whichever of us you liked most by leaving a review! However, reviews lodged after 2 PM PST on July 18 will not count for this purpose.
I'm not sure where all this reverence is coming from. If you look at things statistically, in terms of Reviews and read counts on this platform. You're the clear winner by a mile with 'Dozen Miniatures'.
Rythmear does one-shots, very rarely a multi-chapter story. They're very well written, but they don't have as much Popularity as your stories, look at the read counts.
Same applies with myself, I've stories that I come back to after hiatus, so the statistics are not really a fair comparison. Thornton Chronicles is 5 years old.
You're a very good writer, and you're on an equal playing field. So less of the talking yourself down please, because when I win, I don't want any excuses. ;)
A woman shrinks her dominating lover in a shrinking game. The game spirals out of control.
My opinion of you as a writer escalated when I read your response to Tanafen.
In relation to the story, as an Ass enthusiast, I really did enjoy it. I really liked the dynamic between the two of them. Whilst at times it seemed as though carnal desires were very forced, the love they have for each other and the impending fear of the unknown gave it a nice charm that is rare to find in stories these days.
Ending seemed a bit rushed too, but overall, it was a very very enjoyable read. Thanks for posting. :)
Thornton
James loves his life. Though, one day, his best friend, Yuna, and his sister, Faith, get convinced he is a perverted masochist. Will he manage to prove them wrong ? Will they let him ?
Hi there,
My only criticism so far, has nothing to do with your English. It's perfect in my opinion. :)
No, the criticism is that I'm reading your story because one of your tags is 'Butt'. So far, I've read 9 chapters. It's good, very good, but I'm not a huge fan of feet and that's all there's been so far.
So, my only advice would be to start planning on using the other tags so that your non-foot audience doesn't leave. :)
Thornton
Hey there, thanks a lot for your review !
No worries, "Butt" is coming, friend. I've added the tag because at the start of the story I was sure there would be some of it, but I knew it would be a long time from the start. Apologizes if that's what you came for in the first place. I'll start adding warnings about that kind of stuff so readers won't be disappointed not seeing their favourites themes.
In my honest opinion, that tag should become fairly active around chapter 11-12. Before that, bear with me; adding that tag without giving any information about its appearance was my mistake. Thanks for pointing it out, I'll write it down on chapter 1.
A happily married man catches the shrinking disease, and falls for the feminine wiles of his daughter's best friend.
I'm not a fan of Breasts, or at least I didn't think I was until this story. I'm also not fond of Gentle, but you seem to have almost convinced me.
I hate being the type of user that asks for certain content, but would there be any hope down the line of you doing any of the 'Butt' category for this story?
If it detracts from the plot you have, don't do it, I'm loving this story. But if the plot was flexible in any way, I'd love to see the 'Butt' category incorporated.
Thornton
