Date: November 01 2019 3:52 AM Title: Chapter 22: The Demon World situation
I've just read up to the latest chapter and wanted to leave a review. While the story is meant to be PG, I enjoyed the erotic content you introduced since I'm a fan of lactating breasts and multi-size shenanigans. I find descriptive foreplay and fetish stuff more arousing than sex, so this kind of story is right up my alley.
Something I've been wondering is if English is a 2nd language for you and you're writing this story to gain a mastery of the language. Some parts of the story feel like you're using phrases and sentences based on ones often used in Japanese comics or light novels translated to English (i.e. 'as if their previous state was a lie'). I work as a JPu94;ENG translator, so I often have to work with sentences like the one I gave as an example.
In any case, I hope you overcome your writer's block and safely finish all 4 of your arcs. Personally hoping Akira fulfils Lapis's size-fetish wish. Also looking forward to finding out more about the fairy tribe in the demon world; one of the things I like is a betrayal of expectation. A small fairy becoming bigger than a normal sized human either by growing themselves or shrinking the human is something I really enjoy reading about.
Author's Response:
Indeed, English is my second language, and the reason for writing is not much about mastery, it's just something I wanted to read, and since our didn't exist, I decided to write.
You are also pretty sharp in regards to Japanese, translated Japanese novels have been my main source of reading lately (I do have some basic jp knowledge, so I also sometimes read directly from the source with some Google translator help, and have been making "light translations" of some pretty long chapters, as such I started getting more used with that style of writing.), so writing from 3rd basic language to 2nd language, it may end up like that.
In regards to my writing style, I'm going for something descriptive, ordering the words in a way that it will make imagination easier, I do realize that I need to always review the content though, since I sometimes skip some words, or don't properly follow those rules. Ironically, I got to write the first part of the arc, I now got my mind into a sequel... And I haven't even finished the main story... I really need more time...
Thanks for the feedback, hopefully I will you will like what I have in mind for the future. :x