Reviewer: Nothingness Signed
Date: January 13 2018
Title: Chapter 1: Origin
Yandere. That's the word I'd use to describe Juta. You had me going even when you warn us she could be an awful bitch. She seemed so shy and sweet towards Hector that I thought, "Sure, Intheliar. How awful can this sweet girl be?"
Kills a boar with her sabre when she didn't have to, pisses on a horse and threatens and lies to Hector's sister... I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I could only predict things will get complicated for Hector in the future with Juta around. She's definitely unstable and now that I think about, I wonder if much of what she said about how she got exiled by her queen was true? Very suspect.
I still can't deny how sexy it was when she dominated those badass guys, especially the part were she casually opens her mouth when he did that inhumane jump towards her face and she just ate him. You never cease to amaze me lol.
I do have one bit of criticism but it's minor. Hector mentioned calling Juta Elevator? Given the Medieval setting, how did Hector know about elevators?
I loved this story and Juta was quite a character. I think you're too hard on yourself. This was definitely NOT a waste of time. You're a very talented writer and I'm not just saying that. I envy your meticulous writing, so neat and proofread. (God knows I need to proofread my writing -_-)
I wish you the best, my friend :)
Author's Response: Haha! Yeah, I suppose yandere does kind of describe her a bit. I was going for a more D/S Elena-type giantess again, one who could be either cruel or behaved. Not sure where Juta ended up on that spectrum, but her nature is, well, it's something alright.
Killing the boar was both a way for her to show off, and let off some bloodlust steam. That was Hector's first warning sign that the giantess who placed herself under his command had violent and sadistic tendencies. The way she treated Hector's sister, well, that actually got re-written a few times. Initially, she crushed the horse underfoot instead of kicking it, and ended up swallowing the girl to tie up all loose ends (while worrying about a search party). I found it lore-breaking that she would defy something Hector asked her not to do, even in secret. So that was scrapped. Also, if anything, freaking Chestnut, man... That horse didn't deserve anything that happened to it in the final story, or the draft version.
You're actually onto something, there. While indeed she has absolutely the best intentions for Hector, she's a wild card and could make future situations more difficult. And, as for Juta's backstory about being a knight, that thought also crossed my mind, too. What if she was lying, and she was just some rouge, crazy yandere who wandered through the forest and eventually met her match at the business end of another giantess's sword? Would that be harder for Hector to accept-- to find out she wasn't even a knight in the first place, and was merely just another one of the forest's oddities? I would personally feel more relieved that I'd even managed to pacify someone like her in the first place. She absolutely doesn't act like a knight, she just wears the outfit and pretends.
R.I.P. Kethro & The Flea: Giantess Assassin-warriors
Okay, so in my mind at the time when I mentioned elevators, I did realize that would be an odd term to use. However, I did a bit of googling, and they're a thing, to a small extent. They had wooden platforms and ropes back in the day. Also, if you've ever played Dark Souls 3, there's a wooden elevator that runs off a wench and pulley system in one of the early levels, which is more akin to what I had in mind. It's a bit tough for me to explain, but I certainly didn't have Hector referencing a modern-day hospital or skyscraper elevator with buttons and whatnot.
Thanks again for the encouragement. You have no idea how much I hate my own work, half the time. Every concieveable flaw runs through my mind. As for this story, I ran it through a proofreader on the internet before submitting it, and had to change probably 20 words, which really ain't so bad. I have learned I like to misspell traveled as 'travelled.' To give some more insight on how much I worry about the little stuff, I think I had a dream last night where somewhere in it, I had only a single review on this story which pointed out numerous mistakes and (for some reason) called it bigoted and racist. Now that I'm awake, I realize how silly that sounds.
And I wish you well, too.