Membership status: Member
Bio:
Just a fan of giant people hoping to share that love with everyone else.
You would think your mother would trie to save you..
But she has other plans with you..
Categories: Giantess, Incest, Insertion
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: This story is for entertainment purposes only.
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1002 Read Count: 34325
Date: March 19 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
This review will be harsh but I think you need to hear it. This story was not a total waste but it wasn't that good either. Detail is a must, but it shouldn't wash out the story. There is so much that you could do with a story like this that one chapter doesn't do it justice. In fact, with your permission, I'd like to try my hand at this exact story, I'd give you credit for the original story of course. What do ya say?
Categories: Transformation, Breast Enlargement, Feet, Humiliation
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1391 Read Count: 107120
Date: April 18 2015 Title: Chapter 1: The Awakening
It's a great idea, but I don't like how you went about it. Before I contuine I want to point out that I am not trying to sya you're a bad author or anything like that. I am only pointing out things I would change. The first is each chapter is too short. A chapter should be 1000 words at the very least. I could combine all four of your "chapers" and add a few words and have one chapter for one of my books. Second problem is that you don't give enough detail as to whats going on. One sentance she's got'em in her hand the next he's running towards her foot. The last issue is that you, in my opinion, ended it way too soon. You could've had dozens of chapters with foot stuff in every one, and sex every, like, thrid or whatever. Like I said at the begining, I'm not saying you're a terrible author. I'm just saying that these are somethings you should work on.
Five shrunken strangers become playthings in the twisted fantasies of a psychotic teenage girl and must work together if they ever hope to get out of her clutches alive.
Categories: Teenager (13-19), Adventure, Young Adult 20-29, Adult 30-39, Butt, Couples , Crush, Entrapment, Feet, Gentle, Humiliation, Insertion, Instant Size Change, Mouth Play, Slave, Unaware, Violent, Vore
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Doll (12 in. to 6 in.), Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.), Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: F/f, F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 76 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 134130 Read Count: 1704747
Date: January 31 2015 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Teacher's Pets
The first chaper was terrible. Too much backstory in stuffed into a chapert. I felt myself going to sleep. The second was better, but not by much. Sorry man. You've got a great idea, but the way you're precenting it is off.
Author's Response:
I will be sure to take this into account when I write the third chapter someday.
Categories: Instant Size Change, Giantess, Butt, Feet, Vore, Insertion, Toilet, Slave
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: None
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Star Wars
Challenges: Star Wars
Challenges: Star Wars
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 1035 Read Count: 33562
Date: October 31 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Anakins so called "Savior"
One BIG thing that both chapters are missing. DETAIL. Tell us if the slimy fell of Padme's clit. Of the bone crushing pain of being under her stinky foot. Now on the flip side, don't use too much detail. We don't need to know how many bits of dirt are on her foot, or how many folds her pussy lips have. The happy meduim between too little and too much can be hard to find, but I trust that you'll find it. Keep writing. Keep imporving.
Luke finds himself subject to the whims of his beautiful mother and sister after an unfortunate illness.
Categories: Teenager (13-19), Mature (40-49), Odor, Scat, Watersports, Butt, Gentle, Humiliation, Incest, Insertion, Maternal
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.)
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 23004 Read Count: 169799
Date: March 13 2015 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Great idea, terriable 1st chapter. There are two main reasons I say this. First, it's not in frist person. I perfer being the charater not hearing what they do. Second, diction. I think it's safe to assume you're of British decent, becuase it shows in your writing. Saying things like "arse" and "bum". I, personaly, find those types of words distracting. Saying "ass" and butt" is easier and will make more sence to everyone. Anyways good idea, bad presitation of that idea.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading. Not sure I can really agree with your criticism - it's not fair to tailor all the language to a purely American audience , particularly when I as the author am not an American. Nevertheless I've taken to mixing up the asses and arses a bit anyway. Hope you enjoy the next chapter when it hits.
My 2 girlfriends find out that I've been seeing them at the same time. They decide to take matters into their own hands.
Categories: Vore, Giantess, Young Adult 20-29, Feet, Butt, Insertion, Footwear, Lesbians, Mouth Play
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.)
Size Roles: FF/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1550 Read Count: 29056
Date: December 01 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Intro
The idea is ok. The way you wrote it though. I can sum most of your problems in one word. Description. You glaze over it. Tell us of the fear the guy feels, of the sticky, smelly saliva as he is drenched from head to toe. In summry more description, most times, = better story.
Categories: Teenager (13-19), Breasts, Butt, Feet, Footwear, Gentle, Growing/Shrinking Out of Clothes, Humiliation, Incest, Insertion, Instant Size Change, Mouth Play, Odor, Slave, Unaware
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: F/m, FF/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 6438 Read Count: 144995
Date: October 24 2015 Title: Chapter 1: A bad start
This story could've been a lot better. Now I've only read the first 2 chapters so maybe you already fixed some of the things that I'm going to critque. Also I'm not yelling at you or anything, I'm just trying to give some helpful adivce.
The frst thing that I noticed was the "you"s instead of "I"s. Now abc has already talked a lot about this so I'll just say one thing about it. More people will want to read a story in the 1st preson.
The second thing is that in the first chapter you changed precpetives. "...she was caring and looked after me as well as my younger sister Tilly. You notice that she is..." I had to go back and re-read that three or four times to truly understand what it was saying. You also have a lot of grammar and spelling errors, but I'm not gonna be too picky on that. Mainly because I suck with grammar and spelling too.
The next thing is that Chole goes out of charater in the 2nd chapter. You describe her as gentle in the 1st, but then she insults her brother in the 2nd. Now maybe that's based on personal exp., however I am an older brother I care for my little bro yet I don't insult him....much. If I were to insult him I'd atleast say his n
Last and, in my opinion, most important is detail. You don't have enough. You say in the first chapter "...you see a blonde figure standing in the doorway." It's great that you told us her hair color, but we want to know more about her. Is she tall? What are her facical features? Is she skinny, or large? What color are her eyes? You get the idea. Going into detail helps the reader. The reader should be able to have a high quataily movie of your book playing in their head as they read. Now, like I said, I've only read the first two chapters so maybe you've already been adding more deatil.
I want to say again, this was in no way ment to be rude or insulting. I'm just trying to give you some tips on how to make a great story. For a first story, it's not that bad.
Author's Response: I understand your concerns, but it's all done on purpose. I've never been good at detail or decent grammar, and it's not getting any better. So, I don't add in some detail as I'll struggle to describe it or it won't work or something like that. This then makes the reader able to use their imagination. It's just how I like to write. Also, I noticed that the "you" styled chapters haven't really clicked. Therefore, I'll only use it in this story and will use "I" or "he/she" in future stories.