The destruction of a civilization at the hands of a goddess. A sci-fi fantasy tale.
Well I love this story man, I loved it even when it was full-blown violent, and I tend to steer clear of that stuff...Though it's kinda growing on me.
Keep writting dude, this is definitely one of my favs at the moment.
I'm glad you like it so much. :)
Luke is in his early twenties yet he has not had a girlfriend. One day though something happens to reveal his real love, but is it?
I LOVE gentle breastfeed, too bad she turned on him. I really think she ought to have been more understanding of his situation, and why he was mad with her. And if she really did love him why not change him back? Anyway great read, Im glad you go back to (sort of) the gentle stuff.
"But wait there's more"
Eternity is such a bitch, I hope someone helps him out, or he's gonna be a goner.
HOW is he STILL alive!! He has a f-ing hole in his chest! And Eternity is just around the corner, waiting to take his life!
I feel so bad for the little guy, it must suck to have to hide the truth from people that can probably help you.
Mouse trap, ugh oh!
Would you do anything for your family? Anything?
No sibling rivalry, huh? She almost killed him. Not that Im complaining, but damn, he definitely did not deserve that.
Not sibling rivalry, I guess it's kinda hard to explain. Sibling rivalry is where they hate each other. These two don't hate each other but Angela had such complete power over Andrew it kind of made her lose her mind for a bit (hence the plug metaphor I put in). But this is definitely not a sibling rivalry.
It's ok, I don't think he deserved it either. But it was still fun to write.
Not much of an adventure if Andrew's gonna be stuck with that woman. Good update, though.
Who said he's just gonna be stuck with her? Andrew's crafty and smart. He'll probably think of something...
Who said he's just gonna be stuck with her? Andrew's crafty and smart. He'll probably think of something...
This is awesome, I thought this story was dead! It was my second favorite story from you.
What was the first?
That would be Matter of Trust, even with the weirdness at the end. I just liked the whole, hes not afraid to die, thing, it made things interesting.
Hmm, ok, I see it now. I'm planning on making another "Matter of Trust" where it's an alternate plotline. Melissa finds him and doesn't squish him. Lee, Alex, and Melissa meet. Then I go on from there.
But glad you like this! I slacked off for way too long and realized I needed to come back to this.
Man, coming to this school is like a death sentence, the parents must be INSANE to let their kids go here...Its a great story to be sure, but its a little hard to take in, without some kind of background.
In a merging of reality and fantasy, the heroes of Neverquest find themselves trapped in the virtual world of Adelais. Malkav and his pirate crew continue their search for the Scarab of Water, while Sophia and her friends try to cope with the woman-dominated world around them. Deep in the tropical jungles of Masiela, a hot-headed princess attempts to reason with the bratty Queen Isabella of Ellewyn before an all-out war begins...
This is the SECOND book in the Adelais series. I strongly recommend reading Neverquest first, or the events of this story will make no sense. Really.
I just want to say that this seems like a great story, and I will probably read it all in the near future. I just want to say that in my opinion you should never post this large a chunk all at once, it overwhelms people...Well at least it overwhelmed me, I like the fact that you wrote so much but I think you should have posted this piece by piece, maybe every day or something. Anyway, just something to think about. Good luck with the writting.
OK. Thank you!
Lee Ryder has been at the mercy of several girls over the past year. But when he's taken in by a more compassionate soul, life gets a lot easier. But the only thing she needs to help him is his trust, something he thought he could never give again...
I just want to say that outta all the stories you've written so far, this one is my favorite, because I like the fact that Lee isnt afraid to die. I feel like it adds a lot to a character when they are so broken that death seems like the best option. And of course the fact that Alexis is trying to keep him alive while also making him trust her.
Thanks. Even though this is just a short story (which I end in chapter 5) people seem to think it my best. Maybe it's because I work extra hard on character development in this one.
Again, Thanks.
Im not going to lie, this new chapter feels kind of like a cop out ending since nothing is explained...But I do like that Lee is alive and well.
I don't have to explain anything... Mwahahaha...
That really wasn't my intention. Explanation wasn't really part of it. And don,t think of it as an ending, more like an... Epilogue.
Ouch, what an ending...And just when Lee was starting to like living again. Not what I wished would have happened but an ending nonetheless...Great story Dudeman.
Yeah... I don't know why but I liked that ending over a lot of others. Maybe I'm in a bit of a dark phase right now. But don't worry, I'll be back to my happy endings before you know it.
"Well, for the first week and a half or so, she wouldn't let me out of her sight. Or in public, out from under her foot." Alex gasped as she saw Lee meant what he said. Rachel kept him under her foot for hours at a time. This also meant Lee heard the entire conversation!
"O-ok, just w-wanting to know." Lee raised an eyebrow.
"Something wrong Alex?"
************
I think that your new spacing is kind of making some things a little tough to understand sometimes. This part is an example, I had to re-read it to make sure that I was understanding it correctly. And its not really a problem that you've had with previous stories, its just the spacing is causing you problems. I dont know, maybe its just me being dumb, but Im trying to help you make your stories easier to read.
Anyway this was a great chapter, good luck in the writting.
Yeah, it's weird ya know? I see wildcatman saying he likes it, and you saying it's confusing! Gah! What should I do?
I'm gonna use this spacing still but from now on, I'll make an effort to clearly explain who's who. This new spacing requires it and I haven't been paying attention much. But from now on, I hope to fix this.
I am loving this so far, and I had no problems understanding chapter 3, so my theoretical hats off to you.
Why thank you. I reread over chapter 3 to make sure everything was understandable.
Why thank you. I reread over chapter 3 to make sure everything was understandable.
You are definitely getting better, this is the most interesting start to a story you've written thus far. One criticism though, is that towards the end, its kind of hard to tell who is talking, especially the part with "Tim". Im not sure who is saying what in that paragraph. Anyway, glad to see you improving and can't wait to read the rest of this.
Yeah I noticed that too after rereading it once I posted. I plan to fix it though.
A young girl is sent into hiding on the eve of World War III. When she heads back out into the world, it has changed dramatically...
Its a little hard to tell where your going with this story from only the first chapter but its a good start so far.
The next chapter will go directly into where this story will take place. Thanks for reviewing!
This story is awesome so far, I love how sassy Katie is, though he IS huge so...yeah. Though she sure likes telling the little people to treat her as an equal, even though she knows how to lay on the threats. Looking forward to new chapters of this, Peace!
Thanks a lot! She's only threatening the guys who don't seem to like her, but, like she said at the end, she'll try and behave a bit better the next time.