In a crazily short span of time, Harley Quinn managed to impress Darkseid, win an army of parademons and nearly take over Gotham and possibly the world. However, and as is usual, a few gentle, thoughtful, and rational words of wisdom from Poison Ivy made Harley realize that this wasn’t what she wanted, not really. Taking over the Earth in order to avoid her own feelings wasn’t her brightest plan. Still, when even after everything that happened Ivy went back to Kiteman, and Harley stayed alone, she realized that she could leave the Earth alone, in fact, she should just leave the Earth. After all, she did have Darkseid’s blessing and an army under her name. So, she made a request, she demanded the control of another planet.
When she arrived though, the planet wasn’t what she’d expected. “Really? Is this the best the great Darkseid guy can give me?” She stared unamused at the vast expanse of nothingness surrounding her. “Hello!” Harley called again and again as she walked around, to no success. “Do you see anything?” She asked one of the parademons that followed her around. It replied in a loud and unintelligible language. Frustrated, Harley gave a new order, "You know what? Leave me alone! Go back to Darkseid or whatever, you giant dummies." The monsters were confused at first, hesitated to leave her alone, but they had to follow the order and they did. After a few minutes, Harley found herself completely alone.
“Ugh! I’m so bored!” Harley let herself fall down on the ground and sighed gravely, “I wish Ivy was here.” Her heart ached for how much she missed her friend. She didn’t have much time to dwell though.
“What’s an Ivy?” A shrill voice said.
“What?!” Harley pulled a confused face and looked around. There was nobody there.
“I said, what’s an Ivy,” the voice repeated. Harley looked around frantically and still found herself alone. Until many of the same shrill little voices exclaimed, “We’re down here!” That got the woman’s attention. She kneeled on the ground and stared hard at the scene in front of her. At first, she thought it was nothing but specks of sand moving on the surface of this strange planet. But upon further inspection, she came to the realization that those were living creatures, maybe people, some kind of diminutive species.
“Oh my God! Look at you guys!” Harley laughed, “How are you so small? What even are you?!”
“Don’t you dare laugh at us, you crazy woman!” one of the voices stood out from the rest. He sounded angry.
Harley scoffed at him. She just wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone getting on her nerves. “Shut up!” she said, as she easily flicked the tiny little creature away with just one of her fingers. When all the others reacted with terror, screaming, suddenly terrified and respectful of her, Harley laughed. “You know what? This might be tons of fun,” she said, more to herself than for the little beings, “Do you people have like, a Queen or something?” and not waiting for a response she grinned devilishly and said, “Well, now you do.”
For the next couple of days, Harley delighted herself as the Queen of this diminutive species. At first, it was strange and difficult, trying to understand or even see the little beings, but, Harley didn’t have the patience for it. “Alright!” she yelled at some point, “I want all of you to organize your ridiculously tiny butts where I can see you. Now!” Mostly, they all complied and stood in formation in front of Harley. When she heard murmurs behind her and found that a small group had defied her, she took matters into her own hands. “You’re not our Queen!” one of them yelled, while others simply complained, “I’m too tired! Let me leave!”
Harley frowned, and yelled at them, “I am your Queen, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” then added, “You can’t be that tired! I don’t want weak subjects!” “But we are!” a few of them insisted. Harley rolled her eyes, “Say you’re sorry,” she ordered, with emphasis on each word, “or you’ll pay the consequences.” The little people scrambled to their knees and begged for forgiveness, but Harley grinned mischievously and said, “Too late!” Then she kneeled on the ground with a wicked smile on her face, took a deep, deep breath, and then blew away all those little creatures that dared to disrespect her.
She started giving orders too. She laid down on a comfortable patch of grass on this planet and requested a feast in her honor. The little people had to work in massive groups just to transport a single piece of fruit toward her. Harley tried them all, and ate happily, except when she didn’t like them. “Gross! Why does this taste like an Alien’s dirty socks?!” but her humor wasn’t in favor of her subjects. “Ugh, now I gotta punish you! You silly little things!” she said as she stood up. She lifted on foot up and underneath the thousands of small people tried their best to run away, but when Harley finally smashed her foot on the ground, well, not all of them escaped their Queen’s fury.
A few days passed of Harley living in complete bliss and her subjects living in terror of their magnificent Queen, then everything changed. Poison Ivy arrived. She came out of a portal created by Darkseid and thankfully she was alone. “Harley!” she exclaimed, as soon as she stepped into that new planet. “Oh my God! Ivy?!” Harley yelled back at her and then ran toward her until they met in the middle in a sweet and familiar embrace. “You gorgeous, lettuce-colored lady! You came here for me?” Harley whispered affectionately, still holding on to her dear friend. “Of course I did! I was so worried and… Harley, what the fuck have you been doing in here?!” Ivy replied, pulling away from Harley enough to look around them at the seemingly deserted place.
“Well… Let me show you,” Harley smirked. It took a while for her to explain everything to Ivy, and for Ivy to finally see and understand the existence of that tiny species that her friend had taken over.
“Listen up, my tiny subjects!” Harley called out to them, “Stand in the formation and… worship your Queen!” She stood impossibly tall for them while, from their place in the ground, all of them scurried to stand in lines and kneel, wave and call out to her, “We worship you, out Queen! Our big and powerful Queen! All hail the Queen!” Harley laughed, delighted, “Good! Keep going. You know what happens if you disobey me,” to demonstrate her point, Harley recurred to her new favorite method of torturing the ones that had defied her leadership, she quickly moved her feet on the ground, listing a small cloud of dirt that for the tiny people was a horribly gigantic thing that nearly drowned them.
Then, finally, Harley grabbed her hands and stared with hopeful eyes and a huge gin on her face, “Ives, please, would you stay here with me? We can rule over them! We can be Queens, Ivy, Queens! We’ll rule with an iron fist. We can do anything we want here!”
Harley could see her friend hesitate, but then, something wonderful happened. Ivy used her powers of controlling nature to create a carnivore plant that immediately terrorized the little being around them. She laughed, and Harley chuckled along with her, delighted. “It might be fun,” Ivy shrugged. “Yes!” Harley hugged Ivy again and spun her around while their subjects screamed on the ground below, “we’ll be the cooled, most badass and powerful Queens that these little, little things have ever seen!”