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Monday, October 19 (cont.)

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     Marcus was riding on Jessie’s shoulder, holding onto her hair for balance, as the two of them entered into her first period class. It was supposed to be Social Studies, but the schedule for the day had been adjusted a bit to give everyone shorter, 30 minute classes, so that the school’s first periods could be extended for the Career Day. “Good morning Jessie,” her teacher said, warmly greeting the two of them. She was a modest but warmhearted woman, somewhere in her early 30s, with curly brown hair and set of thick rimmed glasses. “And Mr. Tilden, nice to see you again. How’ve you been doing?” Jessie’s teachers had all been informed of her dad’s shrinking, just in case the subject ever came up for parent-teacher meetings or other things. A few of Jessie’s friends knew too, but for most people at the school who didn’t know Jessie that well, the fact that her dad had developed his condition was news to them. He could feel most of the eyes in the room as they soon caught sight of the 9 inch man riding on their classmate’s shoulder. And it wasn’t easy not to feel self-conscious with so many kids staring at you curiously.

     “Pretty healthy all things considered,” he replied with a manufactured smile. “I mean, Jess still has her dad and I still have her, so it could’ve been worse.” He wasn’t really that positive about the whole situation, but it was a polite enough answer.

     “That’s a good attitude to have,” the teacher responded, then leaned in slightly and lowered her voice. “I’m a single parent too, and I don’t even wanna imagine what my son would go through if something were to happen to me.” Marcus grimaced at the sudden somberness, but nodded along anyways with an understanding look on his face, as a few moments of silence followed.

     “Um, I know you said our parents were supposed to register with you ahead of time, but—“

     “Oh, don’t worry about it,” Miss Shepard said, shaking off the formality. “I forget what it is that you did though…” she said, scribbling his name into her schedule before glancing up at him cautiously.

     “Well I used to work as a cameraman at KTLA, but,” he gestured down to his body, shrugging.

     “Mmmmm, I’m sorry to hear about that,” she cooed.

     “But I figured I could talk to them about what it’s like to have DSD, some stereotypes that some people have had about people like me, maybe answer some questions if they have any. I know it’s not exactly a career, although I’ve heard there are a lot of jobs as in-home nurses or people who run living facilities for those who have it even worse than me or nobody who can take care of them full time.” Jessie bit her lip and spaced out as she thought about what her dad had said. Taking care of him full time? I guess that’s what I’m doing… she realized. But wouldn’t that mean that he’d need her to watch after him for the rest of his life? It’d be like a parent whose kid has a serious disability, but in reverse. The personal caregivers like he talked about would be expensive, she wouldn’t be able to afford that til way after college, if ever. And the ‘shrunken homes’ as they were called would be like sending him off to a nursing home before he was even 40. He was big enough to look after himself for the most part, but there were still plenty of things that she had to do for them nowadays. He’ll probably never be able to live on his own again. I’ll always need to live with him. Or he’ll always need to live with me. Being a caregiver to a family member wasn’t an easy task, but having that kind of responsibility placed exclusively into the hands of a 13-year-old was an enormous burden. 

     “Jessie, hello? You there?” The girl snapped out of her trance as she realized her teacher was trying to get her attention.

     “I was just saying that you were the one who had that idea,” her dad told her.

     “Huh?” She really had been out of it.

     “To talk about my condition, and what it’s like.”

     “Oh yeah!” She paused, remembering back to their conversation at breakfast. “Yeah, sorry, yes that was me,” she smiled comically.

     “Well why don’t you two go sit down then,” Miss Shepard said, “class is gonna start in a few minutes.”

*     *     *     *     *     *

     “Can everyone give a round of applause to Mr. Field?” Miss Shepard led her students in clapping for the fire fighter as he waved at the kids and headed to the back of the class where the other parents who’d spoken were seated. “And last up we have Jessie’s dad; for those of you who were unaware, Mr. Tilden developed DSD a few months ago, which stands for…” her eyes circled around the room until a girl raised her hand, and Miss Shepard nodded at her.

     “Diminutive Size Disorder,” the student answered, and Miss Shepard nodded, until another student piped in.

     “Also known as, ‘da shrinking disorder,’” a geeky-looking boy remarked with a smirk, eliciting a couple of giggles from nearby kids. 

     Miss Shepard glanced at him for a moment but decided to ignore the comment and move on. “Now, whenever—“

     “Real funny joke Michael,” Jessie interjected with a flat tone. “You turned ‘size’ into ‘shrinking,’ that was super clever dude. No wonder everyone thinks you’re hilarious.” Her reply got even more chuckles from the class, since Michael was the kind of kid who thought they're a lot funnier than they really were. Marcus, still perched on her shoulder, glanced over at her, somewhat surprised. He knew she was outgoing and not afraid to speak up for herself, but he had no idea she was so sassy too. She was never like that at home. It was strange to see a new side to his daughter, although he’d been doing that a lot lately as she grew older and her personality became more developed.

     “Alright guys, how about we move on, okay?” Miss Shepard said. She turned around to her desk and picked up the thin and simple headset that some of the teachers with spacious classrooms used, and offered it to Jessie. “Just in case your voice doesn’t carry,” she explained to Marcus. “Don’t feel bad if they can’t hear you, even I need to use it some days or else I wouldn’t have it.” She turned back to the class as Jessie put the headset over her own head, but turned the microphone around so instead of being in front of her mouth, it faced her dad still sitting on her shoulder. “So! Yes, Clarissa, DSD stands for Diminutive Size Disorder. We’ve actually had a few students with DSD over the years, usually it doesn’t develop until you’re an adult but sometimes kids experience it too. It’s actually a pretty common condition if I remember correctly, you just don’t see people with it as often in public since it’s harder for them to get around on their own. But I’ll pass it off to Mr. Tilden now and he can fill everyone in on the rest.”

     Jessie’s dad thanked her teacher, and then went on to give a backstory of when he was diagnosed, what it felt like for the couple of weeks he was going through the shrinking process, and how life is like now. He mentioned how since it was just him and Jessie, she ended up being the one to take care of him, but that there are lots of jobs for other people to take care of shrunken people, from babysitters to full time caregivers. Then Jessie took over for a few minutes to talk about what that looked like in her life: for the most part, it just meant she had to do all of the chores in the house, but it also meant fixing tiny appliances when they broke, making sure he has food that he’s able to eat on his own. But ultimately it didn’t really feel like a job; there were days she wouldn’t even need to do anything at all.

     After a bit of them talking about their new lives, Marcus told everyone that he could answer some questions, and half the class seemed to raise their hands in response. He felt a bit proud of himself seeing that, because in his mind, it either meant that they were interested to know more about his condition, or at the very least had been interested enough to pay attention. And both sounded good to him. Since Jessie knew everyone’s names, he let her pick the questions to answer, and she began by pointing to a boy in the first row: “Do you always ride on her shoulder, or does Jessie ever carry you around?”

     “That’s a pretty good question, I get around for myself most of the time like I talked about, stairs and ladders and stuff. But yeah, Jessie has to pick me up a lot of the time, and honestly it’s a bit safer sitting on her hand where she can grab me in an emergency than high up on her shoulder.” The boy nodded and Jessie called on another kid.

     “Do you feel weird about like, just anyone being able to hold you, or handle you?” the girl asked. “I dunno if ‘handle’ is an insensitive way to put it.”

     Marcus brushed off her wording, “No, it’s fine. Generally, uh, it’s not a huge deal to me I guess. Obviously as long as they ask me first, or if I tell them. We had Jessie’s grandparents over a few weeks ago, and my mom just scooped me right up out of nowhere while we were talking to get a closer look at me. That was pretty annoying, it kinda feels like getting tackled but without the falling down part.” The girl nodded and then propped her head up with her arm, starting to think about what that was like.

     “Can we meet you up close?” another girl suddenly asked without having raised her hand.

     “Meet me?”

     “I just mean like, see what you’re like up close. I think DSD is kinda interesting, my aunt works at a shrunken living facility.” Marcus was put off by the question initially. My body hasn’t changed in appearance, I’m just smaller. It’s not like I’m some alien species or something, I don’t get what the big deal would be. But the class (and some of the parents in the back) seemed to have gotten pretty invested, and he didn’t want to say no. It’d just make him look shy, and he didn’t want anyone thinking that. 

     “I guess if you guys want to,” he began saying, to which several kids immediately nodded at the chance. Jessie was surprised at his willingness, given how antisocial he’d been just a few days ago, but she didn’t say anything.

     “Since it seems like a few people are interested,” Miss Shepard said, “Jessie, why don’t you let Mariam see him, and then you guys can pass him around so everyone gets a chance to meet him. As long as that sounds good with you Mr. Tilden?”

     Marcus had assumed Jessie might just walk around the room so people could see him closer, which would’ve already been awkward in itself, being showboated to a room full of middle schoolers. But since you’ve already suggested it, I don’t really have an option to say no now. “Sure, that’s fine I suppose. As long as everyone’s careful.”

     Jessie brought him over to the front corner of the glass, and set him on the table of a quiet-looking Asian girl. “Hi, um… nice to meet you,” she said, waving at him awkwardly with a quaint smile since she was unsure how to shake a shrunken guy’s hand. He sighed on the inside, but smiled back at her and gave her a polite nod. Why did the teacher ever think this’d be a good idea…

     “I know there were a lot more people who still had questions,” Miss Shepard announced as the first student to meet Marcus carefully passed him on to the person behind them. “So Jessie why don’t you continue calling on people for your dad.” 

     “Do you ever hang out with other people your size?” a girl asked after Jessie picked her.

     “Not really… but I’ve only had DSD for a few weeks, I’m still kinda adjusting. Definitely something I’d love to do in the future but for now my social circle is just a bunch of people way bigger than me.” As he said this, he got passed into the hands of a gentle giant, the biggest boy from their class but also the most careful with Marcus so far, who explained that one of his cousins had DSD too.

     Jessie chose another boy, who’d been looking at Marcus with slightly squinted eyes most of the presentation, as if he couldn’t believe 9 inch tall humans could really exist despite how many of them there were in the world. “Has anyone ever accidentally stepped on you?” he asked, with an expression that said he found the idea both gross and a little funny.

     Jessie swallowed nervously and blushed, although nobody was paying her much attention, and Marcus took a deep breath before answering. Should’ve expected a 13 year old to ask a question like that sooner or later. “Not yet as a matter of fact, Jessie knows how to watch where she’s going,” he lied. But he was instantly brought back to his experience of barely two hours ago, and the feeling of her socks rubbing against his body, while her sole was literally bigger than his entire body. He was held out to be passed on to the next teen in line, but she was really anxious and shook her head, saying she was too scared of dropping him. Marcus sighed, I’m not gonna break in half if I get dropped. Wouldn’t even get hurt. But he didn’t say anything and just let the girl get skipped to someone else instead.

     Jessie picked on a new person, a girl in the back row. “Have you ever been in like a little kid’s room or something and had them think you were a toy or try to play with you?” Jeez, why these humiliating questions all of a sudden? he thought with disdain. And yet the kids who were posing them seemed to be asking innocently.

     “Oh, God no, that’s never happened,” he quickly answered, visibly repulsed just by the idea of being objectified in such a humiliating manner. “And I definitely hope it never does.” A couple of the students giggled at that last comment, although it was far from a joke for him.

     He continued answering questions from Jessie’s classmates as they all got to observe him up close, like some kind of science experiment. Most of the kids were normal, a couple were nervous and weirdly awkward. And there was one girl who creeped him out, cuz she kept looking him up and down while breathing a bit quickly. He was glad when she finally passed him along.

     But soon afterwards, Career Day came to a close, and the students all had to start school like normal. Marcus was able to get a ride back home from the parent of one of Jessie’s friends, where he proceeded to spend the rest of the day not really getting anything done, since he felt like his one trip to the school had made him feel productive.

     When Jessie got home from practice that afternoon, Marcus asked how the rest of her day went as she was shrugging off her backpack onto the couch. “There were actually a lotta people who were talking about you afterwards,” she said, heading to the kitchen to grab a bag of chips from the cupboard.

     “Talking about me... in a good way? Bad way? Neutral way?”

     “Good way,” she nodded, like she was impressed. “Lotta people were just like, talking to me, like people I never really talk to you know? And some of my friends, like friends I don’t hang out with outside of school but I’m friends with them in class, there were a couple who were suddenly like ‘oh hey we should hang out sometime’ and stuff.” She threw some of the chips in her mouth as she thought about it, while Marcus had a bit more difficulty processing his reaction. On one hand, he was glad he’d done something that seemed to have had a positive impact on her classmates, or at least take part in something educational. But he felt uneasy about what she said too; there was no way that it was merely a coincidence that the day that a shrunken guy shows up to school, suddenly everyone starts acting like they’re friends with that guy’s daughter. He didn’t think there was anything malicious about it; most of the kids seemed to just be really, genuinely curious, so it probably just had something to do with that (although he obviously didn’t want a bunch of kids to only see him as some kind of freak of nature). But there was still that one girl who’d put him on edge… What if she was one of the girls Jessie was talking about? I don’t think I’d feel comfortable having her in my house. 

     “Anyways, I think it’s a pretty good thing,” Jessie continued, as she slipped her shoes off and kicked them over by the door while rolling the bag of chips back up. “We wanted you to get out and around more people, right? So now that you’re seeming to be a bit more comfortable with others, I might invite a few of them over or something.” She put the bag away, and began heading back to her room to relax before dinner. “Maybe I should even throw a party or something,” she suggested nonchalantly without even looking back, closing her bedroom door behind her.

*     *     *     *     *     *

     The front door opened, alerting Marcus to the fact that Jessie was home from school. He had been lying on his couch, but he quickly sat up upon hearing her arrive, switching screens on his miniature laptop to make it look like he was being productive. He sighed and scolded himself internally, It’s just like when I was a kid and my mom came home from the store and I rushed to start working on her chores. Except in this situation he was the parent. Jess probably wouldn’t have even cared if she came home to see me on YouTube. She knows the odds of me finding a new career that’ll allow me to work from home, and she’s been nothing but supportive of me this past week. Hell, she’s the one who’s been telling me to relax more than I’ve wanted to. “Hey Daddy,” Jessie said cheerily as she came into the living room. Marcus smiled back at her, about to greet her, but was startled as he saw another girl enter behind his daughter. She was a slightly chubby, short hispanic girl from Jessie’s class that had been friends with Marcus’ daughter since last school year. Jessie herself wasn’t even very tall, but this new girl was only about as tall as his daughter’s chin, likely several inches under 5 feet by his guess. She had a timid expression on her face as she entered the room, but her eyes grew wide and she froze when she saw Marcus on the couch. 

     “Oh, I didn’t know you were bringing someone over,” he said nervously, fidgeting in his seat as he saw the young girl’s reaction to his shrunken size. This was the first person who wasn’t family who’d been in their home since he shrunk. "Is she one of your teammates?" Normally Marcus would’ve greeted his daughter’s friends, but since mobility wasn’t as easy for a 9 inch human, he didn’t really greet people; they were the ones to greet him. Besides, getting off the couch to go up and meet here would make him feel even smaller. At least up here he was around waist level to a normal person.

     The girl had never seen someone with his condition in person before, or at least not as small as he was. “Hi, I’m Camila,” she quietly said, still looking Marcus’ body up and down. The only people shorter than her were usually children, and while Jessie had mentioned to Camila that her dad had DSD, Camila was still shocked to see him. Finally she could enter a room and not be the smallest person there. She didn’t look excited, or mischievous, but curious more than anything. And that bothered him almost as much as the other two reactions, because it made him feel subhuman. Jessie was the only person who looked at him the same way she always had. 

     “She doesn't play volleyball, we just have some homework we’re gonna work on together for a class project,” Jessie explained. “We can stay in my room and be out of your way, she has to be home in a few hours anyways.”

     Marcus was still surprised to see the newcomer. He’d let his guard down a bit in the past few days, but knowing that Jessie was gonna go back to bringing friends over—aka, being a normal teenager—made him feel defensive again. “Oh, OK. Yeah, that’s fine. Can you uh, text me when you have people coming over though? It’s just good to know.” I could’ve hidden in my room if I had known someone else would be here. Or maybe covered myself with my blanket and pretended to be asleep. 

     “I did,” Jessie replied, not missing a beat. “It’s from our last period class though, so I guess you didn’t see it yet. But Camila’s parents are both still at work right now so I figured it would be better if we came here, in case we needed help with something. What can I help her out with at my size? he thought, a bit cynical about the whole situation. Oh, she probably just means questions.

     “Alright, I guess that’s fine,” he said, sighing as he got more comfortable in his seat. 

     “OK, thanks Daddy,” Jessie said, turning to head towards her room. 

     Camila smiled again. “Bye Mr. Tilden,” she said, politely waving as she followed Jessie. He had never met Camila before, or heard Jessie talk about her, but from the looks of it she was a bit of a shy girl. I suppose if someone has to be the first friend Jessie brings over now that I’m shrunken, it’s better for it to be someone who’s a bit shy instead of some of Jess’ other friend’s. As he closed out his impromptu “productive” tab and went back to wasting time on YouTube and checking emails, he reflected on some of Jessie’s other friends that she had brought over throughout the past few years. Wonder when I’ll feel comfortable with Jess hosting sleepovers again or having a bunch of people over for parties, I can’t restrict her from having a proper childhood just because of my new size anxiety. 

     Unfortunately for Marcus, those days were a lot closer than he expected.

*     *     *     *     *     *

     Shortly after the three of them finished up dinner, during which Marcus got to know Camila a bit better, the young girl left to go home, and Jessie retired to her room while Marcus watched his nightly news show. But after it had finished and he started browsing what else was on, he started to feel lethargic just sitting like a drone in front of his TV mindlessly watching stuff. Here I am all by myself, doing nothing important. This’d be a great chance to spend time with Jess, and I’m just sitting here. She fills my with energy and joy and pride, and I always love spending time with her even if we’re not doing anything… so what the hell am I just sitting around doing nothing for? With a huff that signaled the start to what would hopefully be a changed attitude around the house, he hopped off the couch and headed to his daughter’s room to see what she was up to.

     Her door was open, and soft, melancholy music got progressively louder as he turned the corner into her room to see what she was up to. His daughter was on the ground in front of him, her hands flat on the ground and with arms and elbows straightened, while her torso curved to point towards the sky with her legs extending behind her, the tops of her feet facing the floor. It looked like she was doing yoga. Before he could say anything, her heels rotated away from her til she was perched on her toes, as her butt raised into the air. Eventually her soles were able to stand flat on the ground, and her legs lifted higher into the air, her torso and head moving to face the ground this time. He had never been into yoga, but he at least knew which one this was called: downward facing dog. He glanced between her legs towards her upside-down face, but her eyes were closed. “Hey, just came to see what you were doing” he said, and her eyes popped open, looking at the small man between her legs.

     “Just some yoga,” she smiled.

     “Oh, I didn’t know you liked to do that. Is it for volleyball?”

     “Uh, kinda. Coach never told us we had to do it but he suggested it, I just figured it’d help with my flexibility. I only started doing it last week.”

     “Well it’s about time, I’ve bought how many pairs of yoga pants for you since you were little, and you’re just starting now?” Jessie couldn’t help but giggle and roll her eyes at his dad joke. She couldn’t punch him from her position, so she lifted one of her feet off the ground instead to give him a playful jab. “Whoah,” he laughed, bumbling backwards as he dodged to get out of the way. “So how many positions have you learned then?”

     “Ummm… like five I think? I haven’t really learned any new ones since I started, I’ve just been doing the ones I already knew about. This is downward facing dog, and before that I did upward facing dog, and before that I did a butterfly… Actually I don’t know if that one’s technically a yoga position but it’s still stretching. And then I know there’s the one where like your hands are stretched out on both sides and you turn your body and bend one of your knees, and the one where you stand up straight and have to put your foot on your inner thigh and hold your hands up above you. So that’s… yeah, five.”

     “You don’t even know all the names? What if you’re doing them wrong?”

     “Uhhhh…” she took a few seconds to think about an answer. She hadn’t actually considered that, but they were pretty simple, she didn’t think she was messing them up. “What do you mean?”

     “Do you have to do push-ups when you have practice?”

     “Yeah, sometimes.”

     “OK, so has your coach ever explained the right way and the wrong way to do push-ups?”

     “Ohhh…” She understood now where he was going with this. “Yeah.”

     “Right. You’d think that you’d be working out your arms either way, you’re just moving up and down, but if they’re too far apart or too close together, you can actually hurt your muscles.”

     “Yeah, yeah, I get what you mean now,” she said, standing up and turning her torso to the side while still looking towards her dad. Then she held her arms out flat behind and in front of her, while straightening her legs with them facing the same direction. And then she slowly leaned towards her dad, bending her front knee and holding the pose there. “But I’m not lifting any weights or anything, so why’s it matter?” she continued.

     “Well, you were lifting your body weight just before, on your arms and legs. And with this one, you have more of your weight concentrated on your front legs instead of your back ones.” He looked up at her bent knee, then glanced at the straight one behind her. “I mean this one’s pretty simple and I can’t imagine how you’d be messing it up, but if you learned a new one and then started doing it at practice around everyone else, some of the other kids might know better and make fun of you for doing it wrong.” He narrowed his eyebrows, as if he just made a concerning realization. “Actually, I know you’re doing this one wrong.”

     She seemed surprised, and looking down to make sure her feet were straight. She’d seen this move a hundred times before, and couldn’t imagine how she could be messing up something so simple. “Are you sure?”

     “Definitely,” he replied, squatting down in front of her while peering at her ankles. “It’s mostly right, but the only problem is…” he said, reached his hands out towards her bare feet. “You’ve left yourself vulnerable!” he grinned, and dove his fingers down to tickle the cracks between her toes. 

     She squealed in surprise and curled her toes shut as tightly as possible, rushing them towards her with a laugh. But Marcus persisted and leapt towards her, causing her to back up carefully into the corner of her room. She didn’t want to run around or jump over him though, because she was worried she might accidentally kick him or something since he was so much smaller than her. “Stay back!” she yelled after realizing she couldn’t back up any further. “Or I’ll kick you!”

     But Marcus looked up and saw she was smiling; besides, he knew she’d never do anything like that that could hurt him. He just paused, and then gave her a smirk; “No you won’t.” And then he charged forward, jumping up just as she was raising her foot, and landed on his butt in the top middle of her foot, right next to her ankle. He quickly latched his legs around her ankle and hooked one of his arms around too, using his free hand to tickle all around her lower shin.

     “AHHHHH!” She hopped on her unburdened leg into the center of the room, trying to shake her dad off from her foot, but he held on tight and wouldn’t stop making her laugh. And he’d called her bluff correctly too: she was too scared of shaking so hard that he’d get punted across the room. “Stop!” she giggled, falling to the carpet. She twisted onto her back, and then maneuvered her other foot to her knee. Marcus had been using both hands to tickle her by that point, until he was interrupted as her sole started pushing against him, breaking apart his arms and legs from the hold they had as she shoved him off her body. Before he could respond, she pounced forward and reached out with her arm, forcing him to the ground with her hand on his torso. She was about to relax when he tried wiggling out from under her hand, and she yelped with a laugh, outstretching her other arm to double her hand’s weight on top of him.

     She sighed with relief, and he sighed from defeat, as they both calmed down their laughing. She sat up and sat criss cross in front of him, keeping her hands on him so he couldn’t attack her again. “After so many years, finally it’s an even playing field,” she smirked.

     “Um, I hardly think this should be considered fair,” he rolled his eyes, not even trying to get out from under his daughter’s giant hand. It wasn’t very heavy, but with only a little bit of force from her part, it could certainly feel like it.

     She lifted her top hand off of him and dug her pointer finger into his armpit. But nothing happened. Even Marcus had expected that it’d tickle him, but instead if was just a weird rubbing sensation, since the tip of her finger was about the same size as the inward curve of his armpit. “Well that’s no fun,” she complained. “I’m too big to even get you back! And I can’t think of any body parts that are smaller than finger tips.” She gazed at him for a few moments, keeping her hand on him, but trying to think of another way to get him back. And as soon as her eyes lit up, he knew she’d thought of something.

     Marcus was lifted up and carried close to the smiling face that was pretty much as tall as he was, but she continued lifting him a few inches higher than she normally did whenever talking to him up close. He found himself looking into her forehead as she leaned towards him and lifted the bottom of his shirt with her thumb, and then he felt a light, spider-like sensation all along his stomach. He looked down and realized she was fluttering her eyelashes against him—and it was working! He started laughing as she blinked as fast as she could, over and over against his bare stomach. But his further laughs just caused her to blink even faster, slightly shaking her head just enough to move the flittering around. “OK OK, you can stop,” he chuckled, and she giggled too, slowing down a bit.

     “Are you laughing cuz you think it’s like a funny method?” she asked, lowering him back down in front of her face. “Or because it actually worked?”

     “Both, I think,” he replied, but then yelled out in surprised laughter as she grinned mischievously and raised him back up to finish her payback.