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Thursday, November 5

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     The moon shone through the windows of Jessie’s bedroom as Marcus woke up early the next day, a little after 4:30am. Now that his daughter was having him go to bed with her, he figured there was no use in trying to squeeze in several hours of extra sleep every single morning just to match Jessie’s sleep clock. He didn’t exactly want to be waking up as early as he was, it almost felt unnatural since it was still dark out and he didn’t have work to go to or another good reason for being up so early. In fact, as he climbed over her to get out of her bed, he looked back at her peacefully sleeping, knowing she’d be in her deep slumber for a good few more hours, and felt the tiniest bit of annoyance that his body just didn’t need as much sleep as hers. Or that she couldn’t wake up early because she needed as little as him. But he could recognize that Jessie had been in a better mood the last couple days, and she definitely seemed to be sleeping well. I mean, I should know, she’s making me sleep right next to her. So he easily brushed aside his slight feeling of annoyance since he knew it was for her benefit.

     He reflected on last night’s debacle, with Jessie and her friends accidentally getting tipsy at Paris’ house. Was it an accident though? Yeah, it definitely seemed like it was. He’d known Paris since she was just a little kid, and only a few times before had he ever seen her act as scared to get in trouble as she was last night—and each time it was because she really did end up getting in hot water for something. But he hadn’t gotten a call from her parents last night, which meant she must not have said anything to them about him and the other teens sneaking out all the cans of hard seltzer into the trunk of his car to throw away at his house. Never before had he ever neglected to inform another parent of something as serious as what had happened. But ever since he shrunk, there seemed to be a lot of things he was doing for the first time.

     Because Thursday was one of Jessie’s game days, Marcus made sure to cook his daughter a hearty omelette with ham, bell peppers, and cheese that was ready for her within minutes of waking up. They got to talking at the dinner table about the day she had ahead of her, and Jessie decided that she missed having her dad come to support her at her matches. “You used to come like, all the time before you shrunk,” she reminded him, her voice taking on a melancholy spirit. “Like, I get why you haven’t been in awhile, it’s probably kinda embarrassing being so small. But… and like I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything Daddy but… you should at least try to, you know, return to your old lifestyle or whatever as best you can. Do you know what I mean?” Marcus was looking off to the side, out the window to the great outdoors as the world slowly woke up to another sunny day. “Like I remember when I was your size, and how adults were kinda scary cuz they were so much bigger than me and stuff, but I wasn’t like, shy or anything, I still went out in public and socialized and stuff.” I understand the point she’s trying to make, he thought, but it’s kind of a stretch. ‘Going out in public’ sounds like talking about adults, but she was literally a toddler the last time she was close to my height, and even then it wasn’t as small as I am. It wasn’t just that people around her were bigger, it’s that they were a lot older too. The fact that me going out in public a lot of times means being around people younger than me kind of makes things worse. Despite him feeling like it was an unfair comparison though, he knew his daughter was right. Both of them seemed to understand that his problem wasn’t that he didn’t go out in public, because he did. Just the other day he’d taken her to get new clothes at the mall. But those kind of days together where a lot less frequent than they used to be; it felt like Marcus only did the bare minimum, only going out when she needed to go out. But going to one of her volleyball matches would be a first. He had absolutely no obligation to go (besides being a supportive father, of course), but it would also mean being around a lot of giant people. More than the clothing store and movie theater had when they went on Monday, and she literally dragged him to those places. Her volleyball match tonight, if he went, would be the boldest step he’d taken yet. But that also meant he had the most to gain in terms of his confidence.

     “I can’t tell you what to do obviously,” Jessie continued, “I just think like, I’m suggesting that you try and go out in public more often. Because it might help you get used to being around bigger people. Just my idea, you know? But like yeah I’m also gonna be in school for a few more years, aaaaand it’d be cool if my only family member could show up to one of my games a few more times.” Her last statement was dripping with sass, but he smiled at her since he knew she was just being cheeky. 

     Marcus took a deep breath, and nodded slowly to show his agreement with everything she’d said. “You’re right, Jess. I’m sorry I haven’t come out to support you yet. I know a lot of the other kids’ parents go, so I’m sure you haven’t been able to ignore having me gone. But it’s been almost a month now, and you’re totally, 100% right, I should start trying to acclimate myself back into society now.” He reached out across the table and grabbed ahold of two of her fingers as he smiled warmly. “So I’ll be there tonight, it’ll be great.” She blushed, glad that she’d been able to convince him to come back and spectate her, as he let go and leaned back into his chair. “But now you won’t be able to slack off anymore since I’ll be there watching, so you’d better win!” She rolled her eyes as he laughed at his joke, as they continued eating their breakfast together.

*    *    *    *    *    *

     Marcus was sitting in his car in his daughter’s school parking lot, taking a deep breath. I’m not gonna feel any better just sitting out here trying to get myself amped up. Part of his issue, he had realized on the drive over, was that going to watch her play would feel like a solo experience. She’d be there too of course, but every single other time he’d ventured out of the house in the past month since shrinking, he’d had Jessie there right by his side. Despite her being twice as tall as him, she gave him comfort and a sense of calmness and familiarity wherever he went. Jessie would obviously still be nearby now, but she wouldn’t truly be with him. He’d be sitting alone, surrounded by a hundred super tall strangers. 

     That shouldn’t matter though, he reminded himself. Being in public without her is part of why Jessie thought I should come tonight. He shook his head and opened up his car door to hop out, attempting to clear his head. He held his head up high as he locked the car and walked confidently towards the gymnasium doors. He wasn’t an outcast, or a freak of nature; he was just a little small is all. I can do this, he told himself, pushing the doors open with all his strength to get in. 

     “Hi, welcome!” said a woman in her mid 40’s, sitting next to one of the students at the ticketing table. He had half-expected the gymnasium to be roaring with the sound of hundreds of excited fans, until he remembered that this was a middle school volleyball match and not high school football. Not to mention the fact that he’d attended dozens of these things before—it had just been so long that his expectations had been messed with. The squeaks on the courts and callouts from the players were louder than the collective audience, which seemed to have around 60 people at best scattered among the stands, not counting the team members sitting in front. It was a good sized crowd; not a disappointing number, but not too overwhelming for Marcus’ first time back. 

     The mother smiled down at him kindly as he walked up and dug a 5 dollar bill out of his pocket, while the girl next to her looked a bit shocked to see someone of his size. She clearly didn’t know how to act as polite as the mom running the cash box. “Are you Jessie’s dad?” she asked, looking him up and down somewhat incredulously. He hated when people did that, like he was some kind of oddity, and people her age seemed to do it a lot more often than adults.

     He forced a polite smile to the girl and nodded as he handed the older woman money for a ticket. “Yeah, I guess words gotten around.” He actually wasn’t that upset that Jessie had a tendency of telling people about him. He knew she didn’t tell everyone, but it was the kind of news that was bound to get passed around and gossiped about if only a few people knew. And he was her dad, it wasn’t like she could hide his existence anyways.

     “Oh, was I not supposed to know? Sorry, Derek told me like a week ago,” the girl apologized.

     “It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he chuckled. I don’t even know who Derek is. Or who she is.

     “Here’s your ticket, enjoy the game,” the woman told him, handing Marcus a red stub. He thanked them and turned back to the match as he walked around to the front side of the bleachers. The first set seemed to have just started, but he couldn’t see Jessie out on the floor yet. She was probably sitting in the front row with the rest of her teammates. In fact, he couldn’t really see anyone in the crowd from how close he was to the people sitting on the far edge of the seating, but evidently someone was able to see him. A hand shot straight up from the crowd before a young black girl stood and excitedly gestured for him to come over: Paris. Her attendance at the match tonight and ever radiant grin on her face pretty much confirmed to Marcus his assumption that her parents never found out what happened last night. And upon seeing a familiar face, his heart seemed to skip a beat out of both surprise and relief. He marched up the stairs with a bit more hop in his step, before reaching her middle row and scooting on by several pairs of oversized legs to reach her as she sat back down. He could feel pairs of eyes on him as a few crowd members and a couple students noticed the shrunken man joining the stands; it wasn’t everyday that someone with Marcus’ condition showed up. But he just ignored them, knowing they meant no harm.

     “I can’t believe you’re here Mr. Tilden, Jessie didn’t tell me you were gonna come to a game!” Paris exclaimed. “Oh, um, you can— you should sit between us,” she said, turning beside her to look at Amy, her secret girlfriend, seated next to her. She still seemed to be nervous about people finding out they were a couple for some reason, but she scooted over anyways to make room for his small body to sit between theirs. “Do you remember Amy, from yesterday?”

     “Of course, it’s nice to see you again,” he told her politely, climbing onto the seat between the two giant teens.

     “By the way, thank you sooooo much for saving us last night,” Amy said in a hushed tone, but not quite whispering. Paris blushed and looked around, paranoid as always that someone would hear what they’re saying and have any reason to think they were talking about something nefarious. The only surrounding people were too focused on whichever daughter, niece, or cousin of theirs was on the floor though.

     “Oh, yeah, no problem,” he replied. “I know it was just a mistake.”

     “Can you see OK by the way?” Paris asked, always one to look out for others. “Here, you can sit on my backpack,” she offered, grabbing it from beside her as he hopped back off so she could place it on the seat for him.

      “Yeah, that’s better now, thanks Paris.” Even sitting on the makeshift booster seat though, he wasn’t even as tall as the two young girls’ shoulders. But he could see the gym better now, and he scanned the backs of the heads of all the teammates that were lined up. Just as he spotted his daughter’s hair tied up in a ponytail, she turned to look at the crowd behind her, not for the first time that evening. Her eyes instantly spotted him, and an electric wave of joy seemed to sweep over her face as she energetically waved at him. After the game had started and he still hadn’t shown, Jessie began to lose hope, but seeing her dad now reinvigorated her spirits, and she couldn’t wait until she was called on to join the court and show off how her skills had improved since he last came to a game. Seeing Jessie light up just from his appearance warmed Marcus’ heart as well, and reminded him why he came tonight.

     “Awww, you guys are so cute,” Amy commented, seeing her classmate’s reaction. “Did she know you were coming?”

     “Technically she did, but I don’t know if she really believed I would show up,” he chuckled as Jessie turned back around, and they continued watching the game.

     The team was in the middle of the second set, the first one having been won by Jessie’s team. He’d even seen Harper play a little, the friend of Jessie’s that he’d met a few weeks ago, having totally forgotten that she was even on his daughter’s team. But now Paris and Amy had gone off, having needed to use the bathroom for a few minutes, leaving Marcus to watch their stuff momentarily. Throughout the first set, he’d cheered and called out approving ‘good jobs!’ and ‘nice ones!’ here and there alongside Paris and Amy when their team had scored a point. But his voice didn’t carry like it used to, and he found himself a bit quieter now that he was alone again. Jessie was in the rotation now, and with eyes like a hawk, he watched her on the court, following her every move with a smile on her face. He couldn’t tell if it was from her having improved since he last watched, or if she was just playing better because he was there, but regardless of the reason she was playing like a star on the court!

     A trio of middle school boys who Marcus didn’t notice at first made their way up the bleacher steps, off to the left and a few rows behind where Marcus had been sitting. Nobody was really sitting near them, but his smaller ears gave him somewhat sharper hearing, and he started tuning in on their conversation without even realizing it. They were talking about which of the girls they thought was hottest, and Marcus couldn’t help but smirk upon their tribal-like debating over his daughter’s peers. He didn’t necessarily approve of it, but he remembered doing the same thing when he was their age, going to the volleyball games specifically because the uniforms would show more than the basketball and soccer ones. But then his smirk started faltering as they talked about a certain player who he didn’t exactly want to hear about.

     “Whatever, I still think Jessie’s ass is fucking insane dude,” one of the boys said.

     “Yeah but her tits aren’t that big,” another replied. “I’m telling you guys, boobs are underrated as shit.”

     “The fuck Connor? Dude Devon’s right, her ass is easily the best on the team. And most of them are still like, growing or whatever. Just wait til we’re in high school, I proooomise she’s gonna have big mommy milkers.” He broke out into an snicker, and one of the friends slapped him on his head.

     “Shut the fuck up bro, stop saying that, holy shit.”

     “He’s right though, literally nobody in our class except Veronica has nice boobs yet.”

     “Did you see her story last night? I can’t believe her parents never like, say anything about it, I wonder if they know.”

     “Who gives a fuck dude.”

     “Yeah, just enjoy it while it lasts.” They were quiet for a few moments, and clearly nobody else either heard them talking, or seemed to care. Marcus was just glad they were done talking about his daughter… or so he thought.

     Jessie dove for the the ball, bumping it in the nick of time but falling on the floor in the process. He would’ve cheered for her initiative, but her butt, tightly restrained by her short shorts, jiggled upon her hitting the gym floor and set off the boys behind him again.

     “Holy shit, I wanna eat her ass so bad,” one of the boys muttered again, causing the other butt-appreciator of the three to snicker.

     “You literally sound like the biggest fucking virgin when you say shit like that, Kyle.”

     “He’s kinda right though, I mean I literally wouldn’t have even come with you guys if she wasn’t playing. She’s the only ass I look at. Like the whole time. I can’t believe she switched out of gym 2 for fucking racket sports. It’s got shape, it’s got size…” Jessie leaned over with her hands on her knees as she waited for the next serve, inevitable sticking her butt out in the process. “Uugggh, yes,” the boy moaned, causing the other two to break out into laughter at how horny their friend was acting. But Marcus couldn’t take it anymore. Too nervous to confront the boys who were no doubt twice his size, and probably impossible to argue with, he simply stood up in a huff and walked along the row away from them, back down the steps, and headed to the bathroom to get a break.

*    *    *    *    *    *

     The passenger door to their car slammed shut as Jessie got in following another exciting night of volleyball. Marcus started up the car as she leaned back in the seat with a worn out but toothy smile on her face. “I played so well tonight,” she said, her eyes seemingly lost in a trance as she remembered all the various dives and spikes and other plays that she’d performed.

     “You were great, honey,” Marcus answered, equally impressed by her athleticism on the court that evening. The only lowlight of the night had been overhearing the boys that sat near by, disgustingly commenting on their classmates’ bodies. But worst of all, seeming to focus the most on Jessie, giving Marcus the painful reminder that Jessie wasn’t just his little girl anymore; she was blossoming into a woman. That obviously didn’t mean she deserved to be objectified though. It almost made him feel like a hypocrite. When I was their age, I said pretty similar things, he remembered, but now that I’m a parent, that kind of language disgusts me. It probably would’ve disgusted Jessie too though, and she doesn’t need to be an adult to recognize that. 

     The boys might’ve only been remarking about the volleyball team for a few minutes, but Marcus clearly remembered what they had said, and it was difficult for him to simply brush it off in his mind. Like his daughter, he zoned out, staring ahead as he was lost in thought, remembering the events of the evening. Except while Jessie’s were exciting and positive, Marcus’ were the total opposite. She snapped out of the trance first though, realizing they’d been sitting silently in the parked car for almost 30 seconds. “Daddy? Are we gonna go?” she asked, waving a big hand in front of his face to try and capture his attention. 

     He too snapped out of it, shaking his head and rubbing his forehead. “Sorry Jess, yeah, we can go now.”

     “Are you OK?” she asked sympathetically. “You looked like you were thinking about something important.”

     Marcus didn’t have the courage to tell her what he’d heard her classmates saying about her and the other girls. She doesn’t need to know anyways, it’s not like it can help her. He just felt bad that he hadn’t had the willpower to face the boys himself. He’d just fled the scene instead of standing up to them, worried that they’d ignore him, or even make fun of him because of his size. “Nah, it’s nothing,” he lied, turning on the car as he smiled at her reassuringly. And Jessie believed her dad, so she leaned back more comfortably in her seat while prying off her shoes, crossing her feet on the dashboard for the ride home. 

     The two of them soon arrived back at the house, where they had dinner and talked about the night’s match. Which mostly meant Jessie excitedly recalling all her favorite moments, with Marcus merely nodding along and agreeing with how great everyone had played. Jessie also thought that it was great that Paris and Amy had come to watch her that day, so her dad could have someone to sit with. And he agreed; it definitely was less unnerving for him to attend when he was there with a familiar face.

     After they finished eating, Jessie asked her dad if he could rub her back. He’d been reluctant to at first, since he wanted her to take a shower before doing anything, but she convinced him that sooner was better than later, since the longer she had to wait, the less loose her muscles would be because of how recently she played. And instead of sitting like last time, sideways on their couch while Marcus was perched on the armrest so he could reach her shoulders, she simply collapsed on the floor with a tired groan, sprawled out on her stomach. “Kind of an… unorthodox way to get your back massaged, isn’t it?” her dad asked, kneeling down beside her and starting to work his fists into the muscles along her shoulders.

     “Well you can do it like that if you want, I just figured it’d be easier for you if you like sat on my back and worked from there,” she explained, her eyes closing, tired from the long day. “I’m just trying to help you.”

     “Oh, well maybe you’re right,” he said, stopping what he was doing and climbing onto her back. Her body was still noticeably warm as he sat criss cross on her lower back, and the longer his legs rested on her jersey, the clammier he could feel himself getting from her perspiration seeping through. He tried to ignore it though, and leaned over her upper back, digging his fingers into her malleable muscles and skin.

     “Ohhhhh,” Jessie moaned, a grin brought to her face, “that feels so good Daddy. Thank you.”

     He winced at her choice of phrasing right after hearing her moan, but continued working, “No problem.” Working his way downwards after a few minutes, he reached the area under her shoulder blades, which had been tried and tested from hours of swinging her arms up and down to bump the ball, with the occasional spike here and there. The only problem was that his little hands didn’t have the same strength on her giant body that a normal sized pair of hands did, and Jessie could feel the difference.

     “Can you get any deeper?” she asked. “I don’t wanna be like rude or seem ungrateful, but it’s a little hard to feel.” Marcus was a little let down, but tried to push even further in with his knuckles. “Mmmm, it’s still not really deep enough,” she mused. He tried a third time, practically letting his weight fall into her muscle mass. But at only 14 pounds, there wasn’t a lot of strength to give. “C’mon Daddy, you can do it. Deeper!”

     Cringing at her wording again, he got frustrated of trying his hardest and still not being enough to satisfy his daughter, and stood up in a huff. “Alright, I don’t think—“

     “Oooooh, wait! That’s such a good idea, you standing up like that!” she cheered. “Like you’re not too heavy to hurt me, but I can still feel it. Try walking around.” He had been ready to give up, but seeing Jessie respond to his accidentally better message technique inspired him again, and he walked back and forth on her back like she told him to do. “Yeah, just like that,” she cooed, seeming to melt beneath the feeling of his tiny steps along her spine. “See if you can like, stomp down on me though, I might be able to feel it even better.”

     The idea confused Marcus a bit. “…Stomp? On you? Like this?” He lifted his leg up, and crashed it down onto her back.

     She grunted in response, but nodded enthusiastically. “Oh my god, that’s perfect, just like that. But don’t hold back.” I wasn’t trying to, he thought, somewhat offended, I had stomped as hard as I could. Her back isn’t the most even surface, it’s hard to stay balanced when I lift my leg. So instead he decided to jump up instead, crashing his feet into her back with hopes that that might register better with her. “OH!” she exclaimed, caught off guard, but it felt like he had just cracked her back (in a good way), and she longed for that feeling again. “Do that again!” A second jump, and a second stomp. “Yes! God, that actually feels so good. See if you can do it even harder.” Whatever weird kind of massage this was, she seemed to be addicted to it and just wanted more and more of it. A third jump and a stomp, his little legs getting as close as possible to the strong biceps of a normal man. Then a fourth and a fifth, alternating pounds between her upper and lower back. But somehow, he was giving her the best massage she’d felt in ages. “Pound me harder!” she squealed enthusiastically, “Don’t stop Daddy!” It was all too much for him now, the way she was reacting, and he stepped off her back. She opened her eyes in confusion, completely oblivious to how she was sounding and confused why he had stopped. “Daddy, what’s wrong?” she asked, concern on her face. “Did you hurt yourself or something?” 

     Yeah, my pride. “Yeah uh, I think I landed funny and twisted my ankle or something,” he lied. “It doesn’t hurt, I just, I wanna take a break is all.” 

     “Oh, OK,” she replied despondently. “Sorry about your ankle.”

     “Don’t worry about it, really, it’s fine. I just don’t wanna risk getting it sprained or anything.” Luckily, she seemed to believe his lie, and stood up, realizing massage time was over. “I think now might be a good time for you to take a shower though, I could kinda smell you when I was rubbing your back.”

     “Ugh,” Jessie groaned, “I guess you’re right.” She sighed and made her way towards the hallway, grabbing some towels from the closet, before heading into the bathroom. Marcus turned to the kitchen, figuring he’d try and clean up the kitchen while she washed up. But he heard the bathroom door open suddenly, and he turned to see Jessie stick her head out. “Oh by the way, I have some more math homework that I was kinda having trouble figuring out today, so if you could work on it for me while I take a shower, that’d be great. Thanks!” Before he could even think of what to say back, she pulled her head back into the bathroom and shut the door again, and he heard the shower head turn on a few seconds later. 

     Rolling his eyes at her request, he was at least curious about what kind of problems she was getting stuck on. Unzipping her backpack, he pulled out her math assignments, and looked to the top of the page: “Quadratics - Practice #11.” He was a bit surprised, expecting it would just be something about the Pythagorean Theory or something a little simpler. Isn’t she in Pre-Algebra? This is a bit more advanced than I was expecting, he thought, browsing over the problems. He was at least able to remember enough about his math days in school to remember how difficult he thought quadratic functions and equations were. He took a few minutes to look over the couple of questions she had already answered, and was proud to see that she’d gotten them right. Well at least she knows what she’s doing, I wouldn’t wanna do her homework if she doesn’t understand it, then she’d just fail on the test, and sat down as he grabbed a pencil out of her backpack. So I guess I can help her out with a couple, he told himself, and began working on the next few problems.

*    *    *    *    *    *

     “I’m all clean!” Jessie proudly proclaimed, her voice ringing throughout their small house. With one towel wrapped around her body and a second wrapped around her head, she came to check in on her dad, her bare feet pattering against the wooden floor as she walked into the kitchen. 

     “Oh, good timing,” Marcus said, looking over his shoulder just as she came up behind him and leaned over to see how much work he’d gotten done. He had only intended to do a couple problems to help her out, but he got caught up in a flow and ended up finishing the whole thing. He looked back at the papers, realizing he’d finished all of his daughter’s homework for her while she took a shower. “Sorry, I guess I got a little carried away.”

     Her eyes widened and she grinned happily as she saw that her dad had finished all her work for her. “You don’t need to apologize Daddy,” she said as she grabbed the papers off the table and stuffed them back in her backpack so she could turn them in tomorrow.

     “Hey, so do I smell better now?” she asked, lifting up one of her bare feet onto his leg, completely covering it, and wiggling her clear, natural toes invitingly in his lap. 

     “Yeah, as long as you got all the sweat off,” he replied, not even looking down.

     “Did I?”

     “I don’t know, did you?”

     “You tell me,” she smirked, and lifted her foot up even higher, clutching her dad’s little nose between her pale toes, slightly pink and warm still from the heat of the shower. She had lifted her leg so high that it lifted the bottom edge of her towel she had wrapped around her, and Marcus suddenly realized that if she lifted it only a few inches higher, she might accidentally expose herself. Wanting her to lower her leg as quickly as possible, he grabbed ahold of Jessie’s foot with both his hands and took a deep breath in. Sure enough, any hint of her previous sweat was gone, as a strong wave of apple-scented body wash invaded his nostrils. He hoped that his strong, loud inhale would satisfy her playful attitude, and sure enough, she lowered her foot back down, causing Marcus to breathe a silent sigh of relief. “So?”

     “Oh yeah, they uh, they smell good. Or fine, I mean. You smell fine,” he said, smiling up at her reassuringly.

     “Great!” she exclaimed, clasping her hands together. “Now I won’t stink up our bed tonight.” Our? he thought initially, before remembering how they had started to sleep in the same bed together to keep her sleeplessness and nightmares at bay. “By the way, I forgot to thank you for doing all my homework for me,” she added, and leaned over to give him a kiss on the top of his head.

     “No problem,” he chuckled, telling himself that he’d have to remember to not finish everything for her next time.

     “She turned to leave, but pivoted on her foot before she went anywhere. “You know, that kinda makes me realize…”

     “What does?”

     “Me giving you a kiss on your head. I realized that like, I don’t even remember the last time you gave me a kiss. Which you used to do like every night before bed, or whenever else, but now I feel like it’s been a one-way street.”

     “Well that’s cuz I can’t reach your forehead anymore, doofus,” he laughed, laughing up at her. But he already knew where she was going with her point. “I think I know where you’re going with this though. You’re gonna say that just because I can’t reach your forehead or cheek or wherever, doesn’t mean I can’t still give you kisses, right?”

     “Yep! I just kinda miss it is all, since you’re like my own family and stuff… I’ve just noticed the difference is all.”

     “Well,” Marcus replied, looking down from her face to what was in front of him: her towel-covered hips. The only real estate that was really available for him to reach was her pelvic area and her legs. So he kneeled down so he could reach beyond her towel, and gently gave her a kiss on her thigh. Jessie smiled, glad to see her dad taking well to her idea. “Does this mean we’re saying goodnight?” he asked, standing before looking up at her again.

     “Oh yeah, I guess we should head to bed now. Let me just get changed and then brush my teeth first, mkay? And you can go get your PJ’s on too.” Then she turned and headed towards her room, while Marcus made his way to his own so he could get his t-shirt and shorts on.

     When he emerged a few minutes later, he saw that Jessie’s door was open again, so he headed inside to find her standing by her dresser with her back to him, looking down at her phone. She was dressed in a tank top and pajama bottoms, but her bottoms seemed to be getting a bit small for her. If he was remembering correctly, they used to be pretty loose, like most sweatpants, but now they were hugging her hips and butt more than he previously remembered. The comments made by the boys from her class flashed in his mind again. Jeez, am I ever gonna be able to forget what they said about her? Just then, Jessie put her phone down for the night on her dresser and turned around.

     “Oh, I didn’t even hear you—“ she started to say, but stopped herself and started to frown in concern. “Hey, there’s that look again.”

     “Huh?”

     “Ever since my match ended today, I’ve noticed you get like this look on your face anytime you’re by yourself.”

     He blushed, “Oh, it’s nothing, I dunno, it’s—“

     “No, I can definitely tell that it’s something. You get like… fidgety, whenever I bring it up. Like, it’s obvious you’re not telling me something Daddy.”

     He sighed, knowing there was no use in lying to her anymore if he couldn’t get away with it. “It’s just something I overheard someone say at your volleyball game, you don’t need to worry about it. It’s not a problem.”

     She was silent for a few seconds before speaking. “Does it have to do with me?” she asked quietly. He went back and forth in his brain, trying to decide whether he should lie to her or tell the truth. If I lie and say no, she might realize I’m lying again, but if I admit that it was about her then there’s no way she’d let it go, and she’d wanna know what it was about. But he had already taken too long to think about his answer, and Jessie had caught on. “I guess that’s a yes.” Marcus hung his head, rubbing his forehead, angry at himself for letting the truth out without even trying to. “Who was it? What’d they say?” she asked, taking a step closer to him, holding her hands nervously in front of her. 

     “It was just some boys from your class, and… I don’t think it’s something you should hear. I don’t feel comfortable repeating it. As your father. I mean, I… I just don’t think I should.”

     Jessie took another small step forward, closing the gap between them even further and forcing Marcus to crane his head just a little bit further up. “‘As my father?’ That gives me a little bit of an idea what it must’ve been about.” Shit! It was as if everything he said just pushed him further and further towards revealing the truth, and nothing he was able to say or do could reverse the path they were on. It felt like her finding out was inevitable now, but he didn’t want to admit it. Because the only way she’d find out was if he told her himself, and he didn’t want to have to say it. “Daddy?”

     “Jessie, I’m not telling you, OK? It’s not—“

     She cut him off, ignoring his resistance. “I wanna know, Daddy. I deserve to know.” She took one last step towards him, now standing as close as possible. His head was craned all the way up, her face casting him in shadow, as she looked down at him disapprovingly for holding back so much. He gulped nervously, and realized there was no way out.

     “They were talking about your… butt. They just… they’re middle school boys, you know? They were talking about all the girls on the team, and you were just one of them.”

     “But they singled mine out?” she asked curiously. He nodded. “What exactly did they say?”

     “That… Jessie, I don’t wanna repeat it, I’m your—“

     “Tell me,” she replied sternly.

     He took a deep breath, gulping again as he continued to stare up at her. “That your… your butt was b-big. I mean, they said it was ‘insane’ or like ‘the best on the team’ or something,” he admitted, the truth spilling out of him, unable to hold back from telling her what he’d heard.

     She giggled, her first reaction so far at what he’d told her. “That’s not bad, Daddy. Why wouldn’t I wanna hear that?” She glanced at herself in the mirror for a second while he answered her.

     “Because, Jess, no father should be saying that about their daughter, I didn’t wanna repeat that.”

     She looked back down at him, “So that was it? Just that they thought I had a cute butt?”

     He rolled his eyes, “I… yeah, that’s— yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

     “I can tell you’re lying again Daddy,” she cooed, frowning again that he wasn’t telling her the whole truth. “What else did they say?”

     “Jessie, please, I don’t—“

     “Why do you keep trying to hold back?” she asked, starting to get a bit angry now. “I know it’s not you saying those things, you’re just repeating them. I’m not gonna get mad, I just wanna know. People shouldn’t talk behind others’ backs, right? So just tell me already,” she demanded impatiently. “I can tell when you’re lying, just tell the truth.”

     He was a bit taken aback from her sudden change in demeanor, and didn’t want to frustrate her any further. “Th-they said that… I mean, one of them said that… he w-wanted to, to e-eat your ass out, um, really badly,” he confessed, looking down at the floor, embarrassed for even having to repeat it.

     “Oh, ew,” she said, crinkling her nose in disgust. “Do you know who it was?”

     He continued looking down at the floor, her large, pale feet peeking out from under her pajamas and eclipsing his own little ones. “No, I didn’t recognize their voices, and I didn’t even try to see what they looked like.”

     “So that was it? That’s everything? Did they say anything mean?” He shook his head, figuring that he’d be able to get away with lying easier if he continued looking down with her unable to see his face. But she didn’t respond, and her feet stayed rooted in front of him, a silence hanging between them for several seconds. He finally looked up at her to see if she was thinking, or why else she was just standing there, and saw that she was still looking down at him sternly with her hands on her hips. Clearly she hadn’t believed him.

     He glanced to the side again, feeling like a little boy confessing to his mother. Except she was his daughter, and he was supposed to be the parent. “That your… your b-boobs, I mean your breasts, that they’re not… they didn’t think they were that big, but maybe, they thought that maybe when you guys were in high school, that they’d be a lot bigger, or just bigger, I mean.” He looked up at her again as she thought about what he had repeated back to her. “But that’s it, or at least all I can remember, I promise Jess. Everything else they said was about other girls.”

     Surprisingly, Jessie smiled, then ruffled his hair. “I know, I can tell your telling the truth now. I believe you. Thanks for telling me though.” She walked over to her mirror, examining her body. She turned to the side and stuck her fingers under her butt, lifting it up a little and examining its shape underneath her pajama pants. Then she turned back around and cupped her hands under her boobs, feeling their size and shape as well. “Do you think they were right?” she asked.

     Marcus hadn’t been paying attention to her, and turned to see her examining herself in the mirror. “What?”

     “About my boobs,” she explained, turning to her dad now as she looked down at herself. “Do you think the guys you heard were right that they’d get bigger by high school?”

     “OK, now these questions are starting to go too far,” he said, shaking his head and backing up. But she persisted, and stepped forward, intent on getting an answer.

     “Daddy, I literally don’t have anyone else I can ask. You want me to ask mom? You think she’d know?” He winced at this, knowing that it likely hurt his daughter to have spent her life growing up without a female role model in her life. “It’s just like, a scientific thing, that’s all I’m asking. Cuz you’ve grown up before and I haven’t, and you’ve seen other girls grow up and see how they turned out, so I just wanna know, like, in your experience, when you remember your like, classmates or whatever from when you were my age, do you think, like…” she trailed off, not knowing how else to phrase the question, but upset that her father couldn’t just answer it for her. She knew that he couldn’t predict the future and wouldn’t really know the answer; she was just looking for some kind of reassurance. She spent hours every day on Instagram and TikTok, and a little bit of YouTube, and saw other girls her age with millions of followers and fans. It was pretty much a regular occurrence for her to feel insecure about some element of herself, whether it was her hair or her skin or her clothes or her voice. Or like now, her boobs. She felt like she was always in a competition, and other girls like Veronica and her body, or Paris’ personality, or Harper’s intelligence, could sometimes make her feel like she wasn’t… enough. 

     Marcus came to this realization as he saw the look on Jessie’s face, one of genuine concern and worry that she wouldn’t be ‘pretty enough’ when she grew older. And while he didn’t think that smaller boobs were anything to be ashamed about, he also recognized that now wasn’t the time for a lesson about self confidence, and that there ultimately wasn’t anything wrong with what Jessie wanted when she grew up.

     “I don’t know what you’ll look like when you get older,” he told her, stepping forward and placing a hand on her thigh reassuringly. “But given your age, I think... you’ll… yeah, you’ll continue to grow. It just takes time, don’t worry about it.” Her somber expression turned to one of quiet gratitude, before she suddenly reached down and picked her dad up under his arms and squeezed him in one of the tightest hugs he’d ever been given. 

     “Thanks,” she whispered, holding him steadfast within her embrace.