It was a midsummer day in the vast kingdom of Hyrule and the Hero of the Wild himself was sitting idly by alone in the castle's study. Typically he'd be by princess Zelda's side but this time was different. Due to a certain archeological discovery, Zelda was out of the castle meant Link was all alone with only his thoughts and a plethora of strange and intriguing artifacts that the princess had left scattered around the study. She was supposed to have cataloged her most recent finding, but that archeological discovery must have been extremely important given that she had left without even informing her loyal knight. Nevertheless, Link tried to think of a way to keep himself busy while she was out. That’s when it hit him. If he could clean up the study a bit then surely the princess would be more than overjoyed, he thought, picking up the artifacts and placing them neatly on some nearby empty shelves.
“...” He stood there silently admiring his handiwork. Even if it was something as simple as placing a couple of things on a shelf, he was still proud that he was able to do something for the princess. That’s when he noticed an extremely glaring issue… The shelf he had put the artifacts on was not meant for holding strange artifacts and very clearly didn’t have enough strength to support their weight. This was apparently evident by the strange creaking sound that was coming from the bottom shelf, followed by one of the artifacts slowly tipping over the edge. Luckily, Link had the reflexes to quickly react and catch it before it had hit the ground… unfortunately, it wasn’t just the bottom shelf that had collapsed under the weight.
“CRACK!!!” Link didn’t have enough time to react as a strange-looking vase in the shape of a bird’s head fell right on top of him. Shattering in an instant, Link was covered in a cloud of strange green dust. At first, he didn’t think much of it, thinking that it was merely the dust from the shattered ceramic but, as the cloud of dust cleared he realized that it definitely wasn’t dust.
Fanning the powder off his body he looked around only to find himself in a nearly endless field of softly shined dark wood. At first, he thought that maybe his Shekiah Slate may have malfunctioned and sent him to a far off land, but as he turned around he was shocked by the absolute size of the wall behind him. Standing tall and lavished with bookshelves, there was no doubt about it. Whatever was in that strange bird pot, had shrunk him to an absolutely minuscule size. In fact, saying that he was absolutely minuscule was a bit of an understatement. It was hard to grasp his exact size but from what he could tell, the wall in front of him was probably 50x's taller than Hyrule Castle. It was mind-boggling for sure, but dwelling about how small he was wasn't going to solve anything. He had to find some way out of this mess but the only thing that could save him now was the princess herself. But at this size, there was absolutely no way of getting her attention, however, there was no harm in trying.
Walking towards the door, Link grew uncomfortably aware of how small he was. It was at the point that even the smallest of crumbs and tiniest pieces of dirt seemed like imposing boulders. Furthermore, he noticed that things he hadn't even noticed before seemed monstrous to him. For example, a single strand of Zelda's hair was almost immeasurable stretching out for miles and miles. Just thinking about how large the princess herself would be sent shivers down his spine, but it's not like he had any choice. Using the strand of hair to get a better vantage point, he realized that he had barely moved an inch from where he started. Sighing with a look of disappointment, he continued on his way to the monstrous door ahead of him.
Climbing down from the strand of hair he came face to face with even more obstacles that would stand in his path. At odds with the field of dust and lost particles that was the room's carpet, he stared in awe as what amounted to an endless forest of threads unfolded before his very eyes. Trying to think of a way to get past his mind finally realized that even at this size, he still had access to all his champion abilities as well as all the runes on his Sheikah Slate, which included the one and only master cycle. Things were going to get a lot easier from this point on.
Half an hour later, Link had used all 3 charges of Revali's Gale to get over the carpeted forest and had consumed all the fuel of his Master Cycle to get a little closer to the door. He had exhausted all his resources and was almost a few feet from the door (but, from Link's perspective it was more like a few miles).
It was looking like a lost cause, but as the ground shook with a rhythmic pattern of thunderous bangs. Each one sounded like a volcanic explosion to Links microscopic ears. It was more than deafening, but this was exactly what he needed. His savior was here, and once he had gotten her attention she'd surely be able to turn him back to normal, right?
Quickening his pace he broke out into an all-out sprint trying to reach the door. With every passing minute, the steps grew louder and louder, shaking the ground more and more until the silhouette of Zelda's boots appeared in the gap below the door.
"Oh heavens, I hope he isn't too worried about me." She opened the door blasting Link with a torrential wave of wind and scattered dust. Finally regaining his footing, Link stood in the colossal shadow of Zelda as she appeared in his vision.
Standing tall, her colossal size struck Link with stupid amounts of terror and astonishment. Her long legs stretched into the heavens and from where he was standing it was more than impossible to fit her completely in his perspective. Every stain of dirt that was spread across her slightly worn-out boots seemed like a miniature desert and the blue color of her outfit stretched out like an endless ocean. It was quite intimidating, but If Link wanted to get her attention, he had no other choice but to approach her.
Slowly making his way towards her, he began to notice the environment essentially seemed to change around Zelda's body. It was hard to notice at first but as Link walked closer and closer to her he began to notice the very imposing scent of Zelda's sweat from being out in the hot Hyrule sun all day.
"That's quite peculiar. I wonder where he may have gone off too…" She pondered walking into the room. As she took her first step Link realized that he was right in her path. The wooden floor creaked as she stretched her leg forward until it was right on top of Link. Everything moved so slowly, and yet he still felt like there was no way he'd be able to get out of her path.
Sprinting with all his might he stared up at his impending doom, the bottom of her boots were riddled with pieces of caked-on mud, sand, and loose pieces of grass. Combined with their brown color it seemed as if a miniature forest was crashing down on him. As it got closer and closer he became more and more familiar with the underside of colossal boots. Casting a shadow upon the heroic Hylian it was already too late. After running for what felt like hours he had made no progress at all. The shadow grew darker and in the matter of a few moments, the Hero of the Wild was consumed by the ever encompassing mass of princess Zelda's boots…
However, he was completely fine. As Link opened his eyes he saw that the hard leather of the sole of her boot had eclipsed him completely. Her sole encompassed his entire vision and he felt his face press closely against a small speck of dirt. He laid there in absolute terror wondering how he was even alive. Regaining his composure, he looked around seeing how he somehow survived via a miraculous indentation on the floor. The fact that his life was saved due to a minuscule imperfection on the floor astounded him and he was absolutely dumbfounded by how lucky he was at that moment.
Nevertheless, he had no other choice but to dust himself off and find some way to get her attention. As the boot slowly raised off the ground, Link reluctantly decided that he had no other choice but to begin his ascent on the colossal Zelda. And luckily for him, he was given the perfect opportunity to do such a thing.
"Well, that's quite unfortunate. " She kneeled down examining the broken vase that had shrunk Link in the first place. At first, he was worried that Zelda would suffer the same fate as him by getting too close to that vase, but as Link looked closely at it, he saw that all that green 'dust' from earlier had seemingly vanished. As she carefully picked up the shards of broken ceramic, Link headed towards the outer rim, thanking the gods that the princess had been stationary at this moment. Upon reaching the welt, Link swiftly mounted the boot once more, hoping to climb onto the top.
Grabbing onto the tough leather, he clung on for dear life as Zelda began to move once again, her mood slightly dampened by the destruction of what might have been a priceless artifact. Though, a bit irritable, Zelda held firm choosing to worry more about her loyal knight than a simple bird-shaped vase. But, as Zelda thought about it more, she realized how fruitless it was for her to worry about him. ‘He’s the hero who saved Hyrule after-all, which meant that even if he was in trouble, there’s no way he wouldn’t be able to handle it on his own!’ She thought completely unaware of his current situation. Acting upon this newfound confidence, Zelda decided that it’d be best if she recorded her findings at the archeological site while she waited for his return. As her foot collided with the ground, Link's grip was put to the test as he jutted constantly down towards the ground by her devastating footsteps. With each step, he could feel his hands buckle under the intense force that was emanating off of her at that moment, but no matter how difficult it was for him, he had to stay strong. Even if he had to stab his fingernails into the impenetrable welt of her boots, he was determined to keep on climbing.
After a few excruciatingly painful minutes, Link finally made it over the edge of the cliff-sized welt of the princess’ boot. Resting on the top of her boot, he stared shakingly and his calloused and aching hands. As he caught his breath, something incredibly strange came to his attention. On the top of her boot, Link noticed an awful aroma emanating from all around him and from where he was standing he knew exactly what the source was. Covering his nose, Link looked around in shock by how much of her foot odor had leaked through her leather boots. Though, it didn't really bother him all too much.
“I hope he’s OK…” She pondered, sitting down at her desk. A few minutes of rest later, Link was ready to start the climb once again, however much to his dismay he'd soon find himself at odds with Zelda's boots once more as they began to scratch each other. It was clear that she was trying to lazily remove them, but for Link, her laziness may be the cause of his untimely death. Trying his best to avoid the endless onslaught he withstood until Zelda finally managed to release her foot from its thick leather prison. As the boot slowly slid off her foot Link primed and ready to make a solemn leap onto the top of her foot.
Landing face-first onto her slightly damp and soft skin his mouth was filled with the slight taste of salt as he skidded across a small puddle of sweat. After dusting himself off he caught his breath trying to ignore the very mild aroma that emanated from her feet. Despite being out in the sun for most of the day, her feet were surprisingly well-kept radiating a scent that wasn't exactly unpleasant or overbearing for the small Link. For the time being this was the perfect place to relax and get a feel for his surroundings.
The top of her foot reminded him of an almost endless desert that could even rival the vast Gerudo Desert in terms of size. It was almost comical at this point, so much so that even Link himself cracked a small smirk at the sheer scale of his surroundings. However, now wasn't the time for jokes, and Link trekked his way to her leg. It was probably going to take a while, he'd be lucky if he could reach her knee by nightfall. But, as he slowly made his way through the moist fields of Zelda's bare feet, he found that soon he'd be way luckier than he ever thought he'd be…
"So, itchy…" Reaching down towards her foot she scratched away hoping to rid herself of a minor irritation unbeknownst to the fact that the minor irritation was the Hero of the Wild himself. As she scratched the surface of her foot, Link narrowly avoided her razor-sharp nails and an assault dead skin flakes that were larger than most houses. Her nails posed a major threat to Link's life, but it also gave him a massive opportunity. An opportunity to get to her arm in almost no time at all and all he had to do was leisurely grab onto her nails and make climb atop her petite hands. Though at his size, calling her hands petite would be quite the overstatement considering the fact that they seemed more like the hands of a giant, rather than the hands of princess.
Her hands came to sudden rest and Link was finally granted the opening he needed to safely approach her gargantuan fingertips. Approaching her massive nails he was greeted by five pinkish beige plates with rough and razor-sharp edges tipped with a thick white line that was several times larger than him. From up close, he observed not only the minuscule bits of dirt and sand that were hidden away beneath her nails, but he could even see his own reflection in the keratin that made up her sharp and benevolent nails.
Walking up to her he pinky he prepared himself for the upcoming climb and upon placing his hand on the massive face of her nail he was greeted by a very puzzling predicament. Contrary to the very rough and serrated tips of her nails the face of her colossal pinky's nail was dull and wrinkled with many imperfections. If he looked close enough, he could even see his own distorted reflection. Combined with the minor build-up of indistinguishable gunk beneath her nails, it was easy to see just how much her research in the vast fields of Hyrule had impacted the royal image of cleanliness you'd expect out of most standardized princesses. Though If Link had been normal-sized, there was absolutely no way he'd be able to notice such minor details, but thanks to some mysterious magic artifact he was forcefully and unwillingly given the opportunity to analyze and cower in fear at the towering goddess of a princess that was Zelda.
Attempting to grab onto her nail and ride his way onto her arm he soon realized the major flaw in his path to Zelda's arm. Despite it's very wrinkled and ridged surface, the texture of her nails was almost impossible to get a grip on, and with time slowly running out Link had to think on his feet and find some way to be carried by her nails without actually grabbing on. As her nails very slowly retracted, Link reluctantly decided that the best option was to seek safe haven in between the dirt and grime that was hidden away beneath her gargantuan nails.
Sliding underneath her nail he swiftly grabbed onto her skin pulling himself right into the gap between her nail and skin. Holding on tightly he gritted his teeth and braced himself as Zelda's hand pulled away from her foot and returned to its normal position. The pressure and force was way more intense than when he was climbing on her boot. He could feel himself slowly being pushed deeper and deeper into the underside of her nail. It was like he was becoming one with the forgotten dirt and grime that was lodged within the cavernous underside of her nail. After a few seconds of having to deal with the insane amounts of speed and force that came from a simple hand motion, it seemed as if her hand was finally back to its original position. Now free from the unrelenting gravity, Link opened his eyes to see that her hand was now resting on a large wooden desk that Zelda would often use whenever she was doing research or studying particular artifacts or materials.
He thought of trying to get her attention on the desk, but considering how he was barely the size of most dust particles there was no way she'd be able to see her from that distance. This predicament left only one option for the tiny hero; He had to climb across her arm and reach her ear, from there he'd be able to finally get her attention. It seemed like an easy enough task, considering what Link has gone through in the past hour or two and if he didn't want to stay a speck forever this was his only choice.
Dismounting from her pinky, Link found that a bunch of the black gunk that was lodged underneath her nails had somehow gotten plastered and pasted all across Link's heroic light blue tunic. And as he tried to identify what it was he was hit with a very familiar and musky aroma, that was very obviously some of the dead skin that Zelda had scratched off her foot earlier. Though a bit disgusting, it wasn't enough to stop him from embarking on his journey through Zelda's arm. The climb onto the top of her hand was nothing compared to climbing onto her boot and as he reached the surface of her hand he was met with an imposing dark and shadowy cave that was the opening to Zelda's sleeve. Its large opening seemed larger than the gates of Hyrule Castle and it's darkness seemed blacker than any abyss. Stretching out for miles and miles, Link prepared himself for a long journey through a dark and cavernous tunnel.
As he walked his way underneath Zelda's sleeve he had only the light of his master sword to provide a tiny glimmer of light in the deep black abyss that emanated from Zelda's blue jacket that she often wore during her expeditions into the fields of Hyrule. Walking for what seemed like an eternity he came across a towering spire of what seemed to be solid gold shooting up into the abyss above. Considering where he was, it was undoubtedly one of Zelda's golden blonde hairs. Unlike the one he had found on the floor, this one was considerably shorter but still several times larger than him. From there Link decided that now was a better time than ever to take a short break to rest.
Looking back towards the entrance of the sleeve was like looking for a lone candle in the dead of night. What once was a vast and grand opening seemed to flood the barren abyss with a glimmer of lights reduced to a mere sliver of dim light. Link had no idea as to why the opening seemed to shrink in size, but he assumed that maybe Zelda had messed with, or allowed the fabric of her sleeve to droop down and block off the light from the room. Nevertheless, even in the dark Link found it sort of relaxing to just sit down in the dark in which he wouldn't be reminded of his incredibly minuscule stature. Warmed by Zelda's radiating body heat he propped himself up against the massive spire of her arm hair and regained as much of his energy as he could. After climbing, running and risking his life all day, the exhaustion finally kicked in and Link felt his eyes slowly droop down and his consciousness faded. After a few moments, Link was fully asleep on Zelda's skin hidden by the darkness of her sleeve and propped up against a massive strand of her tower length arm hair. It wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to be sleeping, but the softness of her skin made up for any discomfort. However, as Link would soon discover, this relaxing slumber would not last as long as he'd want it to…
"It's awfully humid in here today…" What seemed like a barely audible mumble to her boomed throughout the room piercing and grating on Link's minuscule ears. And as he shielded his ears from the loud noise he was surprised as the dark abyss above began to seemingly tear away filling the previously dark plane with a blinding wave of light and as Link's eyes readjusted to see that Zelda was in the midst of removing her jacket. Her arms began to tilt causing Link to slide steadily towards the edge of her arm. If he didn't do something now he'd be dropped off the side towards his untimely demise.
Hanging tightly to one of Zelda's arm hairs he clung on tightly seeing as her harm went from a completely flat and horizontal position to a treacherous vertical drop that would undoubtedly instill a sense of terror in anybody who's even remotely afraid of heights. Luckily, Link was quite used to being in high up locations so his current position didn't phase him as much as the average person. But, even if it wasn't as terrifying because of his climbing experience, this whole situation gave a whole new meaning to 'surviving by a hair.'
"Now that's a lot more comfortable…" Upon hanging her jacket on a nearby chair, Zelda’s arm finally came back to rest on the table and she continued her studies. Link breathed a sigh of relief and embarked on his journey through the gold haired desert that was Zelda's arm.
Observing his surroundings, he was amazed by the height of some of the hairs that emerged out from her arms. While some seemed taller than the tallest of trees, others resembled golden beams of light that curved like massive arches. Steam bubbled and emerged from her skin as little puddles of sweat formed in an effort to keep her body cool and by the time he made it to her elbow he saw that Zelda seemed a lot more irritated, for seemingly no reason but, as an annoying buzzing sound permeated throughout the area, the reason became as clear as day. It was a pesky mosquito that had found its way into the study and few for the past few minutes, it was buzzing around annoying the hell out of Zelda. She tried to keep her cool, but the expression on her face told the whole story. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, the mosquito was entirely too irritating to ignore.
Just when the buzzing seemed to have subsided, all of sudden, it came barreling towards Link and in the matter of a few moments, an alien-looking creature with a mouth needle-pointed mouth hovered down on Zelda's arm. Typically a mosquito wouldn't be that threatening but, up close it was more frightening than many of the monsters that roamed throughout Hyrule. Its bulbous eyes and pin-point mouth struck momentary fear in the small hero and as he steadied his blade remembering his duty as Princess Zelda's knight. Even at this size, he was sworn to protect her from anything that dared to do harm to her. Charging at the heinous insect he slashed at it as it stabbed its spear-like mouth into her skin.
It was almost embarrassing how little damage his sword did against the bug's chitin exoskeleton. For being a legendary weapon it did little to chip away, let alone slash the mosquito. The damage was so minuscule that even the mosquito chose to ignore him. But, it'd soon regret that action as Link gave in, choosing to use one of his champion powers. Charging up his sword, he channeled the mighty fury of the legendary Urbosa and struck the insect’s mouth with all his might. A flash of light followed by an explosion of lightning struck the bug, slashing its mouth in two. Frightened by the damaging display the mosquito flew off leaving the tip of its spear mouth embedded in her skin.
With a smug expression, Link sheathed his sword and worked on removing the remnants of the mosquito's mouth from her skin. After he did that it was a straight shot towards Zelda's shoulder and from there, he'd face little resistance on his path to her ear. Things were looking up for the not so mighty hero…but as a massive shadow cast over him he was filled with both confusion and despair as he looked up only to see that her colossal hand was looming overhead. Coming down on him at unparalleled speed, Link had no time to react before he was brutally smashed by her massive hand to the point of which nothing could save him. With such power, his body was destroyed, turned into a small puddle of blood that was splattered and smothered on the palm of her hand. From there the mighty Hero of the Wild that saved the vast kingdom of Hyrule was reduced to nothing by the princess he was sworn to protect. Mistaken for a lowly insect, Link would never roam the fields of Hyrule for a long while…