Posted by u/WitchyMomma

Some context.  My daughter, we'll call her Mara, isn't my blood daughter but I love her all the same.  See, some Witches switch there child with a normal family's baby so they can grow up safe, we tend to make enemies quick and without magic a Witch is an easy target.  We refer to such children as 'Changelings' like Witches of old... though typically now with less murder of the child we take.  Mara grew up so fast and was a sweet, well-behaved child.  She wasn't the smartest, most athletic or popular child in school but she didn't need to be, I just wanted her to be happy and graduate.  She did, found a good job and started dating a man I would come to call my son-in-law!  The wedding however... could have gone better.
It was going to be a quiet affair, just friends and family coming to wish them well and a Justice of the Peace present to make it official (neither we nor the grooms family are religious).  The guest list was less than 20 people for either side and the groom's parents let them use their cottage for the ceremony and reception.  Mara was stressed all the way up to the big day but held it together and looked absolutely beautiful in her gown (I was super proud and bawling my eyes out, she's definitely more emotionally stable than me lol).  However, then the JP got to THAT part of the ceremony... you know, the whole 'if any among you have valid, legal reason that these two should not be wed' spiel in every wedding ever.  As if waiting for the JP to say it just to make a dramatic entrance, a car door slammed shut and everyone looked in its direction.
I should quickly explain that the cottage in up a small incline along a dirt road with a small dirt path coming down to a patch of even ground (where the ceremony is being held) and continues down to a lake a couple dozen more meters.
Anyway, standing on the hill with a child in her arms, is a woman that nobody who's opinion mattered wanted to be there, SIL's Ex!

Ex:  "Yeah, I got a reason right here!  He's 2 years old and named *Witless Pawn (WP)*, SIL's son!"

There were gasps from most of the guests as they all looked back to SIL and my daughter in shock.  This was straight up movie drama!  Also the claim was complete bullshit, so immediate family know Ex was lying, but let me explain why.  Mara is 26 and SIL is 28, they met 8 years ago when SIL and Ex were going through a 'rough patch', which is putting it nicely.  Ex abused the hell out of SIL, emotionally and physically and Mara noticed it and convinced him, after a year or so, to get out.  Ex was NOT happy and kept trying to get SIL back, but Mara blocked her every attempt and SIL fell for her in the process.  They started dating a year and a half after he broke up with Ex and works from home for some programing company.  Whenever he goes out, it's either with Mara or with his friends and posts regular updates on his Snapchat and Instagram (I mean, he's always posting on them, so it's not like she makes him so she knows what he's up to but still you can see how that would come in handy now).

Mara:  "Ex!  You weren't invited to our wedding and you're not welcome!  Leave before we call the police for tresspassing!"  (My daughter takes shit from noone!  #proudmom)
Ex:  "My friend told me the facebook invite said immediate family could come if they could make it."
SIL:  "Last I checked I didn't marry you."  He pulled Mara close, apparently he was still scared of Ex but Mara gave him strength.  "I haven't seen you in at least 6 years, so stop lying about that kid being my son!  Don't ruin this day for Mara."
Ex:  "Fuck Mara!  This IS your son and you have a responsibility to raise him with me, his MOTHER."
SIL:  "You're delusional!  But you are right, that kid needs his REAL father to raise him.  If you can remember who it is, go track HIM down."

Just so you know, neither I nor SIL's parents were happy with Ex crashing the wedding, but we wordlessly nodded to each other once our kids started standing up for themselves.  This was a problem for them to face together... but if they needed us we wouldn't hesitate to jump in.

Ex:  "Oh, I remember EXACTLY who it was, SIL.  Does the date [MM,DD,YYYY] ring a bell?"
SIL:  "Other than being a day during my time in hell with you?  Not really."
Ex, smiling confidently at this point:  "Then what if I mentioned [Blank] Medical Clinic?"
SIL, after a few moments his eye open wide and Mara has to stablize him:  "No... No, you couldn't!"
Mara:  "SIL, what's wrong?"
SIL:  "Remember how Ex tried to get pregnant once she realized you were making me realize I could have a life without her?"
Mara:  "Yeah, and thankfully you broke up with her before she could."
SIL:  "Yeah... but not before I went to [Blank] and well..."  He whispered in her ear, it was a place that also accepted sperm donations.
Mara:  "You twisted psychopath!"  Again, Mara may not have be the smartest student but she wasn't stupid either, so she could connect the dots and started crying.
Ex:  "Whatever you thieving bitch!  Give me back WP's Dad and have a nice life."
JP, stepping in seeing how the events were going:  "Miss, even IF SIL is that boy's father, are you saying that SIL was unfaithful to Mara while they were together?"
Ex:  "I have his 2 year old son and had the necessary test results to prove it in my car."  She replied smugly.
JP:  "And any evidence of this affair in question?"
Ex:  "What?  You think we took pictures or something?  Of fucking course not!  And even if we did I wouldn't let you oggle them."
SIL:  "No, there is no proof of an affair because there WAS no affair.  She... I donated properly but she somehow got it."
Mara, forcing herself to stop crying:  "Ex!  Just leave now!  WE'RE getting married today whether you like it or not."

Ex glared down at Mara and SIL, then looked at the crowd and realized she couldn't get them on her side and stormed off.  Within seconds the sound of a car door slamming shut echoed from out of view.  There was an awkward silence for a bit, the mood had been soured considerably but Mara and SIL apologized to the guests and asked the JP to continue with the ceremony.  They each had written their own vows, but SIL added a playful tease at Mara's now ruined makeup which she and the rest of us chuckled at and the ceremony concluded successfully, despite some loud yelling and the sound of dishware smashing coming from the cottage!
Nobody else seemed to hear it over the applause and cheering of the newly-weds kissing, but to me it was unmistakable.  Thankfully parents don't have to sign the marriage certificate, even though I REALLY wanted to watch I hand my camera to SIL's father and excused myself to the restroom.
I rushed up to the cottage and to my COMPLETE horror, all the food and most importantly the wedding cake, has been tossed to the floor!  Plates were smashed, glasses shattered, and at the center of it all (okay not really the center, more like off in the corner of the room but center sounds better) was Ex trying to steal some of the newly-weds' gifts!  She turned and saw me the second I opened the door.

Ex:  "Fuck off Mother of a Whore!  They owe me this much, do you have ANY idea how much artifical insemination costs?  WP needs diapers and food."

My rage boiled over so much that I calmed down entirely.  My pulse settled, my fists relaxed and I just smiled at her.

Me:  "No, what WP needs it a better mother.  Now I'll only say this once, so choose your next action VERY carefully.  Drop my daughter and her husband's gifts, get WP out of your car, leave and hope to the Goddess you and I NEVER meet again."
Ex:  "Like hell I'm leaving MY son here!  How ELSE am I going to get SIL away from that Whor-!?"

I smiled.  Honestly I'm not even sure I ever had the intention of letting her go, not after she had gone so far out of her way to try and ruin my percious daughter's big day but I knew she wouldn't take that option anyway.  After the first sylable I waved my hands and let the magic flow as everything on the floor that shouldn't have been there reformed and returned to their intended place.  Her face shifted from shock, to confusion, to utter terror as she came to realize I was a Witch.  She dropped everything and threw herself at my feet.

Ex:  "Pl-pl-please spare me.  I swear, I'll never bother SIL ever again.  You want WP?  You can have him, just please spare my life."
See was ugly crying... I hate ugly crying.
Me, slipping my foot out of my high-heels:  "Lic-"  I wasn't even able to finish before she grabbed my foot and started running her tongue over it.  Kinda wish I hadn't showered that morning.
Me:  "Gross.  There's a BUG on my foot."
She looked up at me fearfully and I just sneer back before shrinking her down to half a centimeter tall.  Reaching down, I plucked her off my foot before putting my shoe back on and looked her over.
Me:  "I'll deal with you later."
I dropped her down my cleavage and walked over to her car.  I took WP out, there wasn't even a car seat for him let alone any toddler supplies, shrunk the vehicle and impladed it into the dirt with my heel.

Rejoining the wedding, I made an excuse that Ex must have forgotten WP or something and ran off and continued with the festivities.  We laughed, we cried, they drank (I decided to be responsible for WP) and the reception went off without a hitch!

Cleaning up Ex's mess will take some time.  Obviously Mara and SIL went on their honeymoon the next morning for a week vacation and I volunteered to look after WP since I still produce breast milk ever since I was pregnant and fed Mara (rare but it still happens).  Ex was not happy, crying and begging for me to let her go.  I don't think I will.