As he was walking along Tom sees the most opulent house in all of suburbia. Four stories tall and made with style over substance. An absurdly long driveway filled to the brim with cars. In disgust Tom shrinks the McMansion and none are the wiser. Another car pulls up to the driveway and Tom stays curious to see what happens.
Kelly drives up to the one inch McMansion and parks her car. She grabs her gift bag and checks the mirror one last time. Ready to make her first impression she steps out of her car and approaches the home.
James and Marissa were confused. She confirmed an hour ago that all 30 guests were accounted for so who was this stranger. He motions for her to follow him outside and greet the giant.
The couple step out front and are greeted by the site of Kelly. From her blue blouse, black pencil skirt, heels taller than the house, curly brown hair, and stunning face they could tell that she was dressed to impress. Marissa attempts a feeble wave as Kelly squints in their direction. James gave an exaggerated wave with both arms. This caught Kelly's attention.
"Hi!" said Kelly in a voice uncomfortably loud for her subjects. "You two must be James and Marissa. I came to welcome you both to the neighborhood. My name is Kelly and I'm glad to meet you."
"Hi Kelly," said Marissa. "Your outfit looks amazing. Are you here for out housewarming party?"
"Indeed I am," said Kelly cocking her head to the side and giving a nodding smile.
"Well that's funny," said James, "because on our invitations we specifically requested an RSVP and currently have all guests accounted for."
Kelly's eyes widen as such an obvious occurrence hits her for the first time and quickly spits out "W-well I thought that if there was ever a good time to meet you it would be with your friends too so we can all do a little meet and greet. We're all going to run into each other sooner or later so why not now? And besides there's no harm in one more right."
James was slack jawed. "One more?" he thought. How could there be room for one more normal person in a packed party for tinies? He was about to exchange some choice words before he feels his wife on his arm.
"Maybe we're taking this the wrong way," she says. "She's just a ditz dear, she doesn't mean anything by it."
He considered the words of his better half and thought better of it. This could be her first time interacting with their kind. It's best to leave a good impression.
"Well," he says slowly, "I guess we could do with one more.
At this Kelly beamed with delight while the guests racked the house with laughter. James and Marissa could hear them clearly but Kelly was as clueless as ever.
"Oh I'm so excited," she said. "I wanted this to go well so bad. I even got some gifts tailored to each of you."
Kelly reaches into her gift bag for the first time and pulls out some cases. James and Marissa amused, waited to see what she got them and how accurately tailored they were.
Kelly holds up the cases in front of the house to show them off. They were technically video games but they were the cheap department store games that got sales through imitating popular titles and people that didn't know any better. This elicited from James a chuckle that forgave Kelly of all blunders in the last five minutes. But then Kelly ruined it.
"James, one look at you was all it took to know you love video games."
"One look," he thought. "What's one look supposed to mean?" He proceeded to cross examine himself with every gamer cliché he could think of as did his guests.
"I got you several because you would definitely blast through one before the end of the day."
"What free time is she pulling out of her ass?" He didn't even have enough time to binge watch shows with his wife.
"And for the misses," she said while lowering her voice and giving a coy smile, "your own fun to pass the time while the hubby has his fun to pass the time."
Everyone gasped. "She didn't," though Marissa her mouth agape. But one look at Kelly's bouncing eyebrows confirmed that she did.
Marissa's face turned red with embarrassment. James' face turned red with fury. "Enough!"
Kelly was taken aback. This was even worse than earlier somehow.
"How in the world could you possible think these 'gifts' were a good idea! How could you do that in front of our guests! Guests who we invited and not you!"
"I was just trying to be nice. I wanted to get gifts with lots of thought put into them." Kelly can save this somehow, she just knew she could.
"What thought!" he spat. "It would take lack of thought to come to your conclusions!"
"I didn't spend four hours shopping with nothing in mind!" she said in a huff. There's no saving this now. Best thing to do is to make a speedy exit. "But I guess I did spend four hours wasting my time."
"Both of you please," said Marissa. She gave her husband a pleading look to back down. "The gifts are lovely. Set them aside and welcome to the party."
"I didn't want to come anyways." She refused to make eye contact as she tried to come up with a good excuse to leave while preserving her dignity.
"Then why are you here!" Marissa shot James a dirty look but he didn't care.
"I'm here because…" Marissa still looked around for some sort of inspiration. She looked around the neighborhood trying to come up with another recent neighbor to greet. She looked at her car to come up with some sort of engine problem but she didn't have nearly enough knowledge to sell something like that. She looked at her shoes. Thoughts of crushing the house just made it harder to concentrate. She turned to her bag. With a devious smile Kelly had found her inspiration.
Composing herself she finally continued. "I'm here because I wanted to test out a new item of mine and your house happened to be perfect for it."
Kelly's left hand reached into her bag and from it pulls out a shiny metal butt plug.
James' stomach dropped.
"You see I've been having a stressful week lately. Felt like I was dealing with asshole after asshole. Got this thing to help unwind but I knew it wouldn't be enough. Had to make it special somehow." With that said she covered the butt plug in some spittle and spread it with her tongue. All this and she did not break eye contact with the couple.
Everyone immediately ran back into the house, desperate to find some modicum of safety. James and Marissa hid as centermost as they could.
This did nothing to deter Kelly as she slowly dropped to her knees. Using her right hand she sinks her fingers into the foundation of the house and effortlessly lifts it up. She brought it to her right eye and looked inside one of the windows. James and Marissa looked back and felt smaller than ever. Kelly's face leaves the window as she lowers it onto the butt plug.
Tom observed from afar and could hardly believe the events that just took place. The woman was clearly more abnormal than him but her heart meant well. A knot had formed in his stomach as he saw the abuse she took only to go away as she took control of the situation. He was happy for her and wished the best for her. As he mused on the situation he notices that Kelly was having some difficulty balancing the house on the butt plug. She's had it rough enough he thought and as a courtesy he shrunk the gaudy McMansion down to one tenth of a millimeter. Seeing her balance it with ease he considered his work done and went along his way.
James couldn't believe what was happening. The day had started so wonderfully too. He was surrounded by his friends, the love of his wife, and the biggest house he could afford. Sure life as a tiny came with disadvantages but he could always come up with a day that made life worth living. And then she came.
Now he, his wife, and all his friends were gagging on the halitosis radiating from her saliva gluing his house to her butt plug.
The motion made him sick. She wasn't at all careful with how she handled his home from the lifting to the balancing. He could see dents in his ceiling from where guests made contact. Hell the one he was looking at might have been his own. It was all he could focus on in a temporal peace.
And then a mighty roar tore that peace apart. It split ears and seemed to go on for eternity and then it stopped. To weak to move or think, he had no idea what it was.
He turned to his wife as she spoke words instead of screams.
"Her skirt. She just unzipped her skirt. She's going to be doing it here and now of all places." Marissa turned to face her husband with tears in her eyes.
A soothing sound of fabric on skin followed. It was an erotic sound, the sound of removing panties.
The house jerks as a rising motion pins everyone to the ground before settling. The nose knew before the eyes as a pungent sulfurous smell turns everyone's attention to the windows to see a massive brown eye and it was growing bigger. Contact was made with the growing sphincter and with a shudder enveloped everyone in darkness. A scraping prying noise capable of drowning out even the mightiest of jet engines soon followed. James and Marissa held each other. As the prying noise came to an end there was a full orchestra of biology. There was beating and pulsing and contractions. With an absence of light so was there an absence of silence.
James and Marissa would have been content to just lie defeated in their consumed house but Kelly would not allow it. Soon the scraping prying noise overpowered the orchestra that was Kelly. A quake accompanied this noise as the house shook to its very foundation and started to lean at a dangerous angle.
James picked himself up amongst the noise and shaking and carried his wife in his arms determined to escape the failing house. He opened the front door and the light from within poured without. Before him was his familiar lawn and driveway but about ten feet from the door was a thick gelatinous ocean with foam that could swallow his home. Beneath this ocean he could see a stirring floor tinting the sea silver. And above the sea was nothing but darkness.
He ignored the overwhelming size of it all and made his way to his car. He pulled out his keys, entered, and turned on the headlights at full blast. With the front of his home illuminated James could see that he was not alone in plan to escape. His guests were running, limping, crawling, and carried to their cars. Ignoring them he started the engine and drove. Seeing no point in backing out he went left of his own home and through the lawn.
Flooring it as hard as he could James saw the end of his lawn and the beginning of her ocean. Fear racked his body as saw the endless expanse. But he felt a tug at his arm. It was Marissa his beautiful wife and source of willpower.
"To your left. It's shallow over there."
He turned and saw it. A pink tint to the ocean where the floor was land. Kelly's land but at least it wasn't her ocean. He made the hardest left of his life and held his wife as tenderly as he could. He closed his eyes as he left his lawn and was airborne. The landing became harder for it.
He opened his eyes to see whether he made. He smiled as he realized he did. The waves threatened to submerge his car but solid ground beneath his four tires gave him courage enough to whether them. He turned to his wife and saw that she had already turned to him with a smile.
He found peace in that smile. And when he took it in he realized there was peace all around. James turned his head left and right to gather his bearings. The sound of biology was back but it was preferable to the screeching of the plug. The little island the couple just left was deserted as far as they could tell. Their house was in ruins and all the cars circled it like life rafts. The ocean itself was no longer tinged silver from the plug but was in fact pink all except for a foreboding dark abyss beneath the island they had escaped. But for now a moment's reprieve.
James was so happy to be alive that he hadn't notice the feeling return to his hands and feet as the adrenaline wore off. But as it wore off he came to know something else. He started to gag and then Marissa gagged as well. The smell from Kelly's anus had returned but this time it was a hundredfold. It reeked of sulfur and death. The warm humid air felt oppressive and unrelenting and was itself diseased. The two could taste the shit in the air overpowering the pine tree in the car, Marissa's perfume, even the smell of Kelly's breath from the waves.
And then came the quake to end all others. A tumult that shook the Earth itself and turned it on its side. Everything fell down. The island and the life rafts were the first to go. Instead taking their place was the sound of a storm with rain and waves that could flood the world. And as quickly as the fury came, it went. It had followed it source, the ocean, into Kelly's abyss. The sound of biology returned.
The couple were stupefied. How had they survived? Marissa looked down the side and turned pale.
"James we're on her shit."
James had trouble comprehending what she was saying.
"James we are on her shit. A massive one as big as our house is lodged into her and the car is lodged into it."
In disbelief James too looked down the side and saw the dark greasy mass. The car was sunken down to the chassis. Dislodging it would require a full blown crane.
James sat back into his chair and looked forward. This was their salvation. A piece of shit Kelly would never noticed lodged into her colon as if it too was seeking shelter from her. It almost broke him.
What did break him was the aftershocks. A rhythmic shaking of their world jolted them in their seat. It reverberated everywhere and worst of all it gave them a sinking feeling. James checked back over the side and while the car was still firmly in place, their lone firmament was quickly growing loose. Disbelief gripped him even harder as he constant shaking of their world shook the shit particle loose. He broke from the car side and embraced his wife as the particle gave way and they too fall into Kelly's abyss.
Kelly was finishing her hamburger in one hand while holding the wheel with the other. She takes her last bite and throws the wrapper in the passenger seat with the others. Her stomach is gurgling but she was waiting on something else. Then deep within her the low rumbling of a bowel movement. Kelly smiles eager to get home.