11. 1/8 inch. Unaware. F/F/m

There’s been a virus going around. It starts off almost like the flu, but then, BAM! You’re shrunk down. Sometimes the size of an ant, sometimes you lose only a couple inches from your normal height. It only lasts three or four hours, so it’s really no big deal, for most people. Unless you’re driving. Or at a dance party. But now that more people are aware of the situation, they tend to stay at home to avoid any problems that might occur from this new mysterious epidemic. That’s what I was doing now; I took a few days off from work after starting to feel sickly to make sure I’d be safe in my own house. I live alone with no pets, and I sprayed for bugs if, God forbid, I shrunk down small enough for that to affect me. I’m hanging out in my kitchen tidying up, but then I start coughing and coughing, and then it hits me. I’m shrunk down. Very shrunk down, probably as small as ever documented. 1/8th of an inch tall it seems. I gaze upward, my refrigerator and dishwasher seemingly miles above me. I laugh, enjoying the new crazy view I have of the world. I am shrunk with my clothes, so I pull out my iPhone and post on Facebook, “Hey, y’all, I’m tiny as hell. Crawling around on my kitchen floor. This is kinda awesome! I’ll be back to the real world in a few hours. You gigantic people enjoy your day!”  I walk around the hardwood floors for a bit, checking out the view of my house as an insect. Wow. I’ve read a number of shrunken tales from others, but no one can truly relate how amazing it this. I pull my phone back to out to check Facebook again, and I have a number of likes. One lady friend commented, “Be safe down there, tiny guy!” Another, “Aw, I wish I wasn’t at work so I could hold your tiny body in my hand! Don’t get stepped on lol!” And another, from my silly female college buddy, “Dammit, you shrunk too?! If I was in town I’d totally demand a fresh pedicure from you.” Holy hell, I wish I could have planned this better. I’d love to be around some of my beautiful lady friends. But then I receive a text, “See you soon :)” Oh fuck, it’s my ex-girlfriend. Oh fuck. We’d broken up two months ago, and it did not go well. There were fights over couches, money owed, etc. Basically, she does not like me. Oooooh fuck, we’re still friends on Facebook, she still has a key to my house, this is bad. I start running towards to the fridge, a ways away at my size, and before I reach the lip of it, I hear the click of the front door opening. “Hellooooooo, little guy, where areeeee you?!” The door slams shut, and I run and cower behind the front leg of my fridge. I can hear booms coming towards me, and soon her left foot slams in front of me and stops. “Where are you, buddy? I just want to protect you. Oh, just tell me where you are!” As her enormous foot rests in front me (she must has kicked off her shoes at the door), I view her long toes, toes that I have sucked before when we were dating. Now, her towering unpainted toenails are monstrous to me, her pinky toenail alone larger than my body. Hell, the white growth on her pinky toenail is taller than me. Luckily, I had not said on Facebook where I was shrunk, so her foot rises as she continues to search my house for me. I quickly pull out my iPhone again and text my lady friend that lives a few block away, “HELP 911 SOS my ex is at my house looking for me and I’m shrunk. Need saving NOW NOW NOW.” I hit send and in a few seconds get a response, “On my way.” I stay hidden as much as I can, but my ex continues to stomp around my house, and ends up back in the kitchen. I see her lower her face to the floor, and she says in a loud voice, “Oh c’mon, little dude, come on out!” She moves toward the fridge, and right as I feel that I might be found, the front door to my place opens. Thank God my ex didn’t lock the door, bc my lady friend busts right in and yells at my ex, “No no no, you’ve got to leave.” My ex stands up and confronts my friend. I take a few steps out from beneath the fridge to see the two enormous women face to face. My ex laughs and says, “Fuck off,” as then shit goes crazy. My ex pushes my friend, but my my friend pushes right back, and the two are at it. The ground I’m standing on bounces up and down as they fight, and I fall on my ass. I jump back up and see my taller friend throw my ex towards the front door. “Get the fuck out!” she screams, and my ex laughs and leaves my house. My friend pulls out her phone, and texts me, “Fuck all this, where are you?” I text back, “Under the fridge.” I watch her feet in flip flops march back into the kitchen, and then she kneels down, and texts me back, “Come on out, I’ll watch over you, God dammit.” “Sorry sorry sorry,” I text her back. I walk out from under the fridge. I see her towering above me and hope I can be safer around her.