January 4th 2011
I’ve just had the strangest dream. Not the best way to start this, but I’m sure as shit not saying ‘Dear Diary’. I honestly didn’t think I’d be using this, but I’ve just had the most intense dreams of my life and I needed to record it somehow. I don’t know if it’s being caused by being homesick or if it was just something I ate. I’ve just woken up from a dream that felt so real that I’m having trouble convincing myself it wasn’t. It hasn’t been long since I moved to London from Sydney, and the time difference is killing me. Work has let me take the hours I need to get my body clock right, but I’ve been feeling off for the whole trip. Admittedly, I was feeling a little homesick, I was missing my mom as well as my step-dad and step-sister, Vicky. Vicky and I were particularly close, we’d been friends since we were seven and when our parents married a few years later, we became family. It isn’t wholly surprising to me that this dream centred on her.
In this dream I was back home, in my living room, but my perspective was all off. It was like I was tiny, the sofa towering above me. I tried moving, but felt myself rooted to the spot. I became panicked when no part of my body was reacting the way I was wanting it to, I tried wiggling a toe, but felt nothing. In fact, I couldn’t feel anything beyond my face, in fact I felt… empty for lack of a better word, incomplete, as if I was a piece of a yet to be completed jigsaw. I tried looking around to get a better grasp of where I was, but I was rooted to the ground. It looked as though I was surrounded by a low wall of some sort, with a covered part stretching off into the distance. It was then when I realised that there was a nasty stench around the place. It was stale and pungent, sort of smelt like old socks, I could even taste the aroma a little. Yet it was strangely familiar, I’d definitely smelt this before. A theory popped into my head, I’m small in my living room, unable to move at all, with a position stuck to the floor. Am I a shoe? I was managing to stay strangely calm as I tried to figure out what was going on. Being a shoe would definitely explain the smell and the wall surrounding me. But whose shoe was I, I looked around for clues, but could find none, there was writing on the floor I was apparently a part of, but the angle was so steep, I couldn’t read it. The wall around me was black and it was tricky to get a grip on the shape of the shoe from this perspective.
Then Vicky walked in, I was not prepared for that. She was like a goddess towering above me, her footsteps making the ground below me subtly shake. I tried calling to her, but as I expected made no noise. Was I Vicky’s shoe? I soon got my answer as I saw a giant foot hovering in the air above me. It was then sense snapped back into me. I’m not a shoe, I’m a person and I don’t want to be worn! This must be a dream, wake up! Her foot seemed to be moving in slow motion towards me, I tried to move but utterly failed. I couldn’t even close my eyes. Wake up! Her toes were getting close now, I could begin to feel the heat radiating around her foot. WAKE UP! And I finally did.
I sat bolt upright in a cold sweat, I was back in my London apartment, it was the middle of the night. What a crazy dream. I walked to the bathroom to get some water on my face, as if I was a shoe, it was preposterous. The thing is, my dream recall is usually atrocious, I can often remember that I had a dream, but rarely do I remember what happened in it, but tonight I had perfect recall, I could remember every inch of Vicky’s foot as it got closer and closer to my body. I guess it really had an impact on me. After washing my face I came here to write this up. I thought Vicky was crazy getting me a dream journal for my birthday, I guess it’s finally coming in handy. I’m going back to bed now to return to a hopefully dreamless sleep.
March 10th 2011
It happened again, this time it was longer. It’s been a couple months and I put that last dream to the back of my mind. Work’s been tough and my sleep pattern is getting messed up so I figure it’s natural that bad dreams will be coming my way, but honestly I thought that whole shoe business was a onetime deal. I had since had a chat with Vicky about the dream, omitting her part in it, I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. Vicky said that some dreams can just be more vivid and stick with us stronger. She was good with this kind of thing, so I was a lot less worried about how real the dream felt. But then it happened again.
I found myself back home again, but this time in a different part of the house. I recognised the lilac wallpaper and dream catcher on the wall, this was Vicky’s room. Yet again, I was the shoe, finding myself under her desk, tilted at an angle so I could see more of the room. I smiled internally as I saw the clutter, Vicky was always a bit untidy. Since I knew the situation I was in and that this was a dream, I figured it would be easier to wake myself up. I’ve read a thing or two about lucid dreaming so I know dreams you know are dreams can be controlled to some extent. I tried moving, but again it was no use. Again, I didn’t panic, remaining calm as I lay there motionless. Vicky then entered the room, appearing to be on the phone to somebody. All I could see where her legs draped in black tights as she paced around the room. I wasn’t paying particular attention to what she was seeing as I remained focused on her feet. Was I fearful of them, or was this a feeling of lust I was experiencing?
“...okay, I’ll meet you there, I just need to put my shoes on” I heard her say. This was a good time to wake up now. But there was a small voice in my head telling me to stay put, as Vicky sat down on the chair in front of the desk.
‘I need to wake up now’ I thought but the voice said ‘Aren’t you curious to see what it’s like?’
‘No, I’m not a shoe, I’m a man!’
‘You don’t look like a man. I’m sure you’ll like it if you just give it a chance’
All my internal arguing kept me from waking up as a huge hosed foot came towards me. There was no last minute wake up this time as I felt the foot slide over me, the smell being magnified one hundred times. As her foot pushed further into my body, the voice in my head began trying to convince me this was natural.
‘You see how good this feels. Aren’t you glad you stuck around to experience this?’
It had a point, the empty feeling I had was being lifted, it was as if her foot belonged inside of me. Finally, all of her foot was in me, I felt a finger, tug the heel of the shoe I was so I fit better. I was now wrapped around Vicky’s foot and in all honesty, it wasn’t that bad. There was no pain as Vicky stood and pressed her weight down on me. I felt her toes wriggle within me, giving me a fuzzy feeling inside. She took a step and it felt like I was weightless being moved through the air, holding on tightly to this foot that had completed me. As I approached the ground, I woke up.
That was more intense than the first dream, this time I was worn, I knew what it was to have a foot inside of me and the way I liked it scared me a little. What was that voice inside of me? I couldn’t hear it now, there was only my inner monologue. What really bugged me was that now I’m panicking and sweating about this but when I was in the dream it was like everything was supposed to be like this. It was kind of nice to have no stress, no worries to just be.
March 11th 2011
Okay, I’m freaking out now. I didn’t have the dream again, but I’m writing in here because this is definitely related. I was doing my thing after work, just lazing around the place, watching TV, absent-mindedly browsing the internet when a picture popped up on Facebook. Normally, this wouldn’t be much to write home about, but there was something in it that shook me to my core. It was posted by Vicky, now this wasn’t unusual, Vicky usually put photos up after nights out, but something shook me. Wrapped around her legs were the charcoal tights I saw her wearing in last night’s dream. This was too weird, I dream of her in tights then an image of her appears in exactly how I imagined her. My attention was then drawn towards her feet. She was wearing a pair of leopard print ballet flats. Was that what I had become in my dream? I remembered those shoes from when I lived back at home, Vicky had had them for years.
I started to rationalise my fears as I thought more about them, Vicky always went out in dark hose and flats, it was her style. They weren’t exactly distinctive, just a plain pair of tights. I figured I was just getting paranoid, because those dreams were so vivid, but they couldn’t be real. Shoes are shoes, they can’t think and a person certainly cannot become one. I was being irrational, the move had been stressful on me and I wasn’t thinking straight. I guess I should calm down and relax.
August 17th 2011
It had been so long since the last one, I figured they were over. No such luck. The dream didn’t start off as it usually does, I felt no ground below me, it was as if I was flying, but there was something definitely keeping me suspended. At first I thought it was a different dream, but the empty feeling was unmistakeable, I was indeed a shoe again. Looking up I saw a giant finger looped around the covered toe section of my body. Vicky must be holding me I surmised as I glanced around the room. It was actually refreshing to see my old house from a regular perspective again, rather than from the floor. I was in the hallway, it looked as if Vicky was getting ready. I recalled Vicky calling me earlier saying how she’d got a job in an office and from the looks of it she was getting ready for it. I glanced at the hall mirror on the wall, Vicky was wearing a smart black skirt and a blue blouse. On her feet were a black pair of heels. In her hand was… me.
Dangling from her index and middle fingers, her old reliable leopard skin flats were there. So that’s what I looked like. I carefully tried to examine the shoe for any sign of life, but to me it just looked like a normal old shoe… I looked like a normal old shoe, no different to any other pair. Again, I remained clam, as if it was normal for me to look like that. I was wondering what Vicky was up to taking me to work with her, then I remembered that some of the women where I work take comfortable shoes into work, to wear around the office. Was that where I would be taken? I was placed in Vicky’s handbag and she closed the zip at the top, plunging me into darkness. All I felt for the next half hour or so was a gentle rocking, it was quite relaxing. I wasn’t thinking about when we would get to where we were going but was instead living in the moment. The rocking was making me quite tired, I felt as if I was falling asleep. Can you fall asleep in a dream? Then again, this is no ordinary dream it seems.
The rocking stopped and light returned to my world, it took a second or two for my eyes… or whatever I was seeing out of, to adjust. A giant hand grabbed me and placed me under a desk. I was back to the same old position. I took in my surroundings, but there wasn’t much to see. Most of what I saw was the underside of a desk, with the open area I could see blocked by Vicky’s legs. I could hear various generic office noises; phones ringing, keyboards being typed on, a general murmur. After a while, Vicky kicked off her heels and plunged her foot into me. This time I didn’t have tights to separate me, I was now in full contact with my step-sister’s bare sole. In truth, I was looking forward to this moment, the times I spend not being worn are just weird, I feel incomplete without a foot inside me. I kept expecting the dream to end, but for a really long time I was wrapped around Vicky’s foot, keeping her comfy. She’d twist her foot within me, wiggler her toes, pop her heel, giving me a little sight of things other than the underside of her foot. I began to wonder if I’d actually change back this time and more importantly, if I wanted to.
Eventually I did snap out of it and found myself human again, back in bed. The feeling I had in the dream of wanting to stay a shoe terrified me. Every part of my being was now telling me that being a shoe was one of the worst possible things you could be, but at the time… I was enjoying it. The thought sickened me slightly, I wasn’t even that into feet, especially not Vicky’s. While we weren’t biologically related, I still considered her a sister. True, in my teenage years I had a small crush on her, but I was overwhelmed by how wrong it felt. But maybe this wasn’t lust? Maybe I’d feel the same if it was some random woman who was my owner, rather than Vicky. Did I really just write that Vicky was my owner…? I think I’m going to need to see a shrink.
22nd October 2011
That shrink was a waste of money. She tried to convince me that the reason for my dreams was an innate desire to submit to women. I entertained it at first, looking into submission porn and the like… nothing. I know my sexual appetites, and at no point have I ever wanted to be stamped on, or tied up. I even looked at some foot stuff to see if that was causing it, again nothing. If anything it just reminded me of the dreams. I considered my reaction to the dreams and how I felt in them. I didn’t feel a sexual lust while in those dream, more like a duty, a duty to protect my owner’s foot. There I go again, calling Vicky my owner. That’s why I don’t like thinking about the dream, it makes me think of Vicky, not as my step-sister and friend, but as my master.
Anyway, I’m writing in here again because, you guessed it, I had another dream. I can almost predict them now, there’s a strange sense of foreboding before I go to bed, my head hits the pillow and the next thing I know, I’m back as Vicky’s flat. This time I couldn’t see anything, I knew immediately that I was being worn. The pungent aroma emitting from Vicky’s foot would normally make me gag, but like this, it felt natural. I wasn’t under any distinct pressure, I guessed Vicky must have her feet up with me on them. I could hear a murmur from a distance, then what sounded like a laugh track, I then heard Vicky chuckle, making me wiggle a little. She must be watching TV I thought as I settled on Vicky’s foot. I stayed wrapped around the foot, protecting it from the cold for a while. I felt Vicky get up and I finally got to experience what it was like to be walked on.
As Vicky’s foot pressed hard on my sole, I felt my body bend as my heel section went up with her heel. I mimicked her foot shape as she took step after step, it felt strangely fulfilling as I held onto my owner’s foot, separating her from the dirty floor. Light flooded in as Vicky’s mighty heel rose high in the air. I took the opportunity to find out where I was, but I couldn’t recognise anything. I was in a kitchen, but not one I recognised. The cabinets, the wall colour, the floor none of it was familiar. I began to worry if it was actually Vicky who was wearing me. Surely it was, it certainly tasted like Vicky. My thoughts were interrupted by the heel slamming back into me. For what must have been hours, I stayed on, mostly while she was sitting around watching TV, occasionally being walked on. Every now and then, she’d pop her heel again and give me a chance to look around, still there was nothing I would call familiar.
After what felt like all day being worn around the place I felt the foot leave me. I was in a bedroom I didn’t recognise. I looked up at my owner to confirm her identity and it was indeed Vicky. She started to undress, but I had no reaction. Why would I be interested in a naked human, I’m just a shoe, my purpose is to protect her foot. No… no, I’m a man! What was I thinking, this was all wrong. I have to wake up now!
I Shot out of bed and ran to the mirror. What was happening to me? In the dream I felt more like a shoe than ever before. Remembering it, it feels wrong, but at the time it was like that was where I was meant to be? And where was she? I recall Vicky telling me she was moving out of our parent’s place, but I’ve never been there. Was that where I was? I’m going home at Christmas to visit family. Hopefully seeing Vicky again in person will stop these stupid dreams.
20th December 2011
I’m back home for Christmas and it feels really good after almost a year in London. I’ve had trouble sleeping in the run up to my return, worried that any night I could return to that dream world. After all my worry being back has alleviated my fears. I was met by my mother and Vicky at the airport, a subtle glance down at her feet gave away that she was wearing boots. Good, not sure what I would have done if she was wearing those dreaded flats. Spending time with my family was great, really took my mind of my troubles. It was good to catch up with Vicky too. We’d talked a lot on the phone but there was nothing like meeting face to face. I tried to ask her if she’d noticed anything weird over the past year, trying not to give any specifics, but she hadn’t noticed anything. In my dreams, Vicky doesn’t act out of the ordinary, and why would she? It’s not like she’d be expecting her step-brother to be inhabiting one of her shoes. If that was what was happening at all, my sense of what was real was starting to skew.
Vicky invited me to go and see her new place, I was a little nervous at first. If the place looked exactly as it did in my dream, which would make my fears even worse. I decided to bite the bullet and go, besides I wouldn’t be surprised if I hadn’t been subconsciously taking note of her apartment. I’d seen it in the background during our Skype conversations. Vicky led the way, pushing open her door. The place was a sty, just as I’d expect from somewhere Vicky was living. But I definitely recognised this place. As I sat down on the sofa, I knew I had felt this material before… in my dreams.
I started to feel a little faint at all this. Worried, Vicky went to make me a cup of tea, but found she had no milk. She had to go out and buy some, which gave me an opportunity to have a look around. I don’t know what finding the pair of shoes I became in my dreams would accomplish, but I had a feeling that I had to see them for myself. A quick survey of the living room gave me no clear indicator. I checked the kitchen, the bathroom and the bedroom, but nothing. I saw by her bed a new, black pair of flats. Maybe she had thrown out the pair in my dreams, replaced them with a new model. They were pretty old after all. Would that mean the dreams would stop? Am I seriously suggesting that I really was becoming a shoe? Vicky could have thrown her shoes out months ago. These were just some weird dreams, but maybe seeing that she no longer has the shoes will stop me having them. I can only hope.
12th February 2012
I thought I was in the clear. After a great Christmas and New Year, I returned to London with a new lease of life and a skip in my step. Work’s been going well and I’d managed to push those stupid dreams to the back of my mind. Then I went to bed tonight. I immediately knew it was another dream, but my senses weren’t responding. I couldn’t see anything, yet I knew I wasn’t being worn. It felt as if I was upside down, but it was tricky to get my bearings at all. I smelt musty, as if I hadn’t been worn in a while, then light flooded into the room. I saw that I was staring at carpet the whole time, I really was upside down. I heard humming coming from somewhere far away. That must be Vicky! I hoped she’d find me, wait why? I don’t like being worn, do I? In this state, I’m not sure what I want.
I felt something lift off my back, then I heard an audible gasp. “Ohmigod! I thought I’d thrown these out” Came a voice that was clearly Vicky’s I felt a large hand grab me and pull me away from the clutter I was surrounded by. As I was being pulled away, I saw I was in a closet, and it wasn’t a surprise she couldn’t find me, it was crammed with junk. I was flipped around and met with Vicky’s smiling face. This was the closest I had ever been to her face like this. It was… intimidating. She quickly moved me around and placed me on her raised foot. I internally sighed as I was worn once me, relishing the feeling of Vicky’s bare foot within me, completing me.
Time seemed to go quicker now as I was being worn around the house. There was no rest, like last time. Vicky was being active today, moving around, rarely giving me a chance to see where I was, her feet stayed firmly within me. From the noises I could hear, vacuum cleaners, spray of polish, it sounded like she was spring cleaning. Or at least tidying up. I felt touched that Vicky would use me for comfort as she spruced up the place. Throughout the day, I stayed with her as she got up on her tip toes, knelt down heavily on me, was on her hands and knees and just general pacing. She started to work up quite the sweat, I could feel it absorb into me. It was my job after all.
After a good days work, I felt my owner’s feet slip out of me. I was in the living room and it was looking spic and span. She’d really done a good job cleaning. Soon there was a knock at the door, Vicky answered it and a man came in. It was hard to make out his features, but when Vicky gave him a kiss I could only assume this was Vicky’s boyfriend. Vicky had gotten herself dressed up and looked great in a black dress and matching heels. I glared at the heels, feeling a little jealous. They get to go out on dates while I’m just a house shoe. I’m comfy, but a bit scruffy. I guess that’s my place.
I awoke once more and had to slap myself. What was wrong with me in that dream world? I was thinking just like a shoe, if shoes could think. I repeated ‘I’m a man’ too myself in the mirror several times to try and sort my head out. In the dream it was like I’m in a haze, as if I was delirious or feeling the effects of a drug, but when I’m here I remember everything. It’s like dream me is keeping me locked up inside, while he enjoys being a shoe I can only observe. I felt revolted as I remember how slimy Vicky’s foot had gotten after being worn by her for what must have been hours. Then there was that guy, Vicky’s boyfriend. I couldn’t make him out in the dream, but looking at the picture Vicky sent me of him, it definitely had the look of him.
Then I made a realisation, these dream may be being triggered by what Vicky tells me in her conversations with me. When she told me she had a new job, days later I dreamt I was being worn by her to work. When she told me she had moved into a place of her own, a couple days later I was being worn in her new place. Yesterday Vicky told me about the new man in her life and right on cue, I see him as I am a shoe. There’s also the idea that I was found in my dream. How did I know I would be found, only minutes after being transported to my shoe body? Did Vicky have something to do with these dreams? I hoped not, the last thing I wanted to think of Vicky was that she was some evil witch who was trying to turn me into her shoe, yet the evidence was there. I think I’m going to have to avoid Vicky for a while, just until all this calms down. I’ve been having these dreams for over a year now, it’s time I did something to put a stop to them.
9th September 2012
For seven months, I’ve been avoiding Vicky. It hasn’t been easy, I’ve been screening her calls, careful not to hear any new details of her life. It’s been hell, she’s my best friend, but it was necessary for the sake of my own sanity. I gave her the excuse that I had become extremely busy, but in truth my work was slowing down. There looked to be downsizing on the horizon and my future is far from safe. In response to my dreams, I also decided to film myself while I slept, so if I had another dream, I could see what was happening to me here. As far as the blanking Vicky thing has been going, it’s a failure, hence why I’m writing in here. I had yet another dream, this time it was a bit different.
I found myself on the floor of Vicky’s apartment once more. It was quiet, which was quite unsettling. The cleanliness hadn’t lasted long as the place looked a mess once more. On the wall I saw a clock which told me it was ten o’clock. I presumed it was in the morning, given the daylight I was being bathed in. I begin to wait impatiently for Vicky to come. Half an hour passed; nothing. I just sat there like a good little shoe, motionless. It was so boring, where was she? Was she at work? If so, why did she leave me behind? She hasn’t taken those other flats, has she? I felt a little betrayed, had she replaced me? Another hour passed, I was hyper aware of the time as the only thing to keep my attention was the clock on the wall. Time passed agonisingly slowly, I thought time went quicker in dreams? I began to long for Vicky, everything around me reminded me of her, the smell was of her foot, it wasn’t that strong right now, but maybe when she comes back she can top it up. The mess was typical of Vicky, she didn’t put things away as much as throw them to the side. On that note, I spotted something interesting; me. Well the other me, the other shoe that is. It was quite unusual for me to see the other shoe, it was usually placed next to me on the floor, but there it was, on its side next to a pile of magazines. Vicky must have kicked me off when I wasn’t in my body… the shoe’s body. I was thankful I didn’t land upside down. This is boring, but I bet staring at a carpet for hours is worse.
More time passed, I got excited by a noise at one point, but it was just someone in the apartment below. Is this what a shoe goes through when not being worn? Why was I here for this? Every dream I’ve had has led to be being worn around, but now I’m just hanging around being, well an inanimate object. That’s all I am right now, I’m not even alive. Do I want to be worn? For a shoe, that’s all that really can happen, if I’m not being worn, I just exist, waiting for the next time I am wrapped around Vicky’s foot. Finally I hear a noise, a miraculous noise, a key entering the door. It was Vicky! She was back and maybe if I’m good she’ll put me on. She walked through the door, looking tired, I bet getting her favourite shoes on her tired feet would help her. Then it started to fade. No! I’ve waited too long for this, it can’t end now. The last thing I noticed before waking up was the time; half past five. I’d been waiting over seven hours for Vicky and now she’s finally here I snap back to my boring reality.
I had to slap myself after that dream, did I really call my reality boring? After spending seven and a half hours doing literally nothing, I consider my life where I can move around and do what I want boring? What is wrong with me in those dreams? I checked my watch, but immediately wished I didn’t. A realisation that shook me; I had spent exactly the same time asleep as I did in the dream. Exactly seven and a half hours had passed since I went to bed, exactly the same amount of time I spent waiting for Vicky. I needed to check the video, I set up. I needed to find out what happened to me. Watching it I got the fright of my life. As soon as I was asleep and presumably dreaming, I disappeared, it was as if I wasn’t there. This isn’t a dream, this is really happening to me! I don’t know what to do! Should I go to a doctor, but what are they going to do for me, I’ll probably get locked up. How much longer will this go on? Will I eventually permanently stay as a shoe? One thing is for sure, ignoring Vicky did nothing for me, I think I need to call her to apologise.
1st November 2012
I haven’t been writing in here much, but that doesn’t mean the dreams have stopped. They’ve gotten more regular, at least once a fortnight. Each time I’ve stayed for a few hours, there’s been times I was worn, times I was just lying around. Each time convincing me more and more that I wasn’t just dreaming these events, I was living them. They’ve become so commonplace, I’ve neglected chronicling them in this journal. That is until now. I just woke up after three days out. I dreamt a whole three days, I didn’t think it was possible for a body to survive without water that long.
Then again, I must go back to the video evidence, my body seems to disappear when I have these dreams. Is it possible that my shoe body isn’t there when I am awake? I certainly couldn’t find it when I was over Vicky’s place last Christmas. But my dreams have started several times with me already being worn, surely Vicky would have noticed if a shoe suddenly appeared on her foot. She tells me when she changes her shampoo, she’d certainly want to regale me with tails of her fancy disappearing shoe. Unless she was keeping it from me. Unless she knew why it was happening. Unless Vicky was responsible for this.
Anyway, the reason I’m writing this is because of the dream I’ve just woken from. The day before had been difficult. Been working to a deadline, and I’d worked an extra three hours to get just one small section finished. I was beat and fell asleep far earlier than normal. I found myself at lying at the side of the bed, waiting for my owner to wake. I was very excited as I heard the mattress springs squeak indicating that Vicky was waking up. I watched as her bare legs passed over me and I watched her wander out of the room into the bathroom.
I waited impatiently as she finished her shower and got dressed. Finally, as she put on a dark pair of leggings, it was time for my part of the dressing ritual. I happily accepted Vicky’s foot entering my body, I felt comforted as I cradled her foot tight to my insole. This was my place, my function and I was good at it. I was a good little shoe who kept his owner’s foot warm and safe.
Vicky went about her day, with me seeing very little of it. I guessed where I was going by the change in floor I was being walked on, when I felt the ground get hard and cold, I figured Vicky was walking outside. It was hard for me to gauge temperature like this, the heat of Vicky’s foot tended to overpower any external feeling. My only real indication of where I currently was, was when Vicky was in conversation with someone and she’d pop her heel out of me. Looking around the giant arched heel above me I saw that I was in a supermarket. I could just make out the woman Vicky was talking to was one of her old friends.
The day carried on as such, with me only getting intermittent glimpses of the world around me, otherwise it was all feet for me. After what felt like a long time, Vicky’s foot slipped out of me. I recognised where I was as Vicky’s apartment. A glance at the clock on the wall told me it was now evening. I had spent the whole day with Vicky on her feet, and I was feeling it. I could still taste her foot even though it was no longer in me. I was glad of the respite and just relaxed, glad I had done my job. I expected the dream to end and for me to return to my human body. I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed. Here my existence was very simple and fulfilling, literally in some instances. Back in my human form, life was stressful and complicated.
As I watched Vicky leave the room and presumably go to bed I prepared myself for a return to the ‘real’ world. The human world, but it didn’t come. I remained in my shoe body as the hours ticked by, I was left in the dark overnight, leading me to wonder if that was it. Was this the end of my human life? Is it now full time shoe life for me? Questions filled my mind as I lay there motionless. The time seemed to swim by as before I knew it, sunlight filled the room. It wouldn’t be long now until Vicky would wake. Not long until I could be worn again. Vicky re-entered my sight, garbed in her smart office dress. Oh no, she was going to work? Would I have to stay here and wait for her? Thankfully, Vicky plucked me from my resting place on the floor and put me in her handbag. I felt proud that she would be using me as her comfy shoes.
It wasn’t long before I was taken back out of the bag and put back on, Vicky’s foot completing me again. I felt her foot fidget inside me as she went about her work. I just enjoyed my time being worn as I heard in the distance Vicky chatting to her co-workers. It amazed me how indifferent I was to it all. Her conversation was a human matter, I was a shoe and all I had to be concerned with was her foot. It didn’t feel like a full day’s work when Vicky once again took me off of her feet. I felt a great sense of disappointment as I disappeared inside her handbag again. I spent the rest of the night in the handbag, Vicky not bothering to take me out when she got home. It’s not like I was anything special, I was only a shoe. I doubt she ever gave me a second thought.
Another night spent as a shoe, I began to wonder if this was now permanent. What shocked me the most is how little I cared, if I was stuck like that. If this was my life now, so be it. I enjoyed it, it was nice to just be, no stress, just there to keep Vicky’s feet protected and warm. Finally I felt my world jostle. Morning already? It felt like no time at all. I looked up to see Vicky’s face smiling at me, filling me with an internal warmth. It always pleased me to see her smile, even when I was human.
“There you are” She said quietly, reaching in and grabbing me. Maybe she did give me a second thought. Maybe I was her favourite shoes. I felt myself swelling with pride as Vicky thrust her foot into me once more. Her favourite shoe. What an honour! I was cut off from my thoughts as I heard Vicky curse.
“What’s wrong?” A strange voice asked, if I recalled correctly, it was her boyfriend.
“It’s my step-brother, I can’t get a hold of him” She explained. If only she knew I was here, lying beneath her soles. Probably best she doesn’t know. If she learnt of my current predicament, she’d probably take me off, treat me like a human. I don’t want a fuss made over me, I want just to be under my owner’s foot. Again, the day passed quickly, time was becoming like nothing to me. It may be because I no longer get bored. I live only in the moment like this, it feels great. As night fell again, and Vicky’s foot left my body I wondered what tomorrow would bring. Then I woke up.
I shot bolt upright, relieved to have arms again. The thoughts I was having in the dream… I wanted to be a shoe forever! I looked at my phone, there were over forty missed calls and texts. Even more shocking was the date. I had been asleep for three days! This was real, it must be. I saw last time that my body was no longer here when I had the ‘dreams’. I think I’m starting to lose myself to this and the disturbing this is that part of me is glad.
29th November 2012
This will be my last entry in this journal. Since my last entry my life has spiralled out of control. The three days I missed saw the end of my job at work, turns out three days unannounced leave isn’t the best thing when you have looming deadlines. I’m just drifting these days. I cut myself making lunch a few days ago. I saw the gash and I was bleeding quite a lot, but I didn’t feel anything. I’m numb.
The main reason this will be my last entry is because tonight is the night. Tonight I will become the shoe again, and I don’t think I’ll be coming back. I don’t know how I know, it’s just a feeling. Like everything has been leading up to this. If I’m totally I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ve spent most of the last year feeling ashamed of this situation, but actually it’s a gift. A chance to get away from stress and pressure of human life and just be. There are no taxes as a shoe, no bills, no money of any kind. The whole simple life purpose actually appeals to me.
I’d better wrap up, my new life awaits me. If anyone finds this journal I ask you to check up on Vicky. I know she will be upset by my departure, but I’ll actually be far closer to her than I possibly have been in my human life. I guess that’s it now, it’s hard to think of some clever sign off line so I’ll just say goodbye…
14th May 2014
My name is Detective Sergeant Ashley Walker. I am a detective in the Metropolitan Police. I found this diary in the property of Laurence Bernard, an Australian IT professional who went missing almost two years ago. He disappeared without a trace, no body was ever found; it was a real mystery. I found this journal on one of the first sweeps of the flat, thinking it would give us some sort of lead in the case, but found on reading it, it was full of some weird story about an unnamed protagonist turning into a woman’s shoe. I put it away in the evidence lock up and didn’t think about it.
That was until Mr Bernard’s family came over from Australia to assist us in our enquiries. The younger girl, who identified as his step-sister was identical to the description given. A quick look down at her feet showed me the shoes that were also described. Naturally, I just assumed Mr Bernard was merely sexualising his step-sister and basic his erotic fantasy on people and things he knew.
So if I thought all that, why did I, over a year later, take the diary from the lock up, bring it home and begun writing all this. Surely this was madness, I know I’m breaking some sort of rule by doing this. The reason is… I had the strangest dream last night.