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The 2013 GTS-Space Darwin awards
Part 1
A 500 foot tall Asian woman steps onto a stage. She faces the camera then begins to speak.
“Welcome to the 2013 GTS-Space Darwin awards. I’m your hostess Cindy Wong. I’m a mega from mega world. Tonight you hear about people who died in stupid ways in the year 2013 of the Common Era. Your votes will determine who gets the GTS-Space Darwin award.
Our first candidate is Gordon Welton. He lived on the world ruled by goddess Smith. Back in April he decided to illegally enter Texas house. At the time Hillary lived alone in the house. I should explain that Texas house is a house blown up to 1:1000 scales and Hillary is 5000 feet tall.
At first things went well for Gordon. Hillary had no idea that a man was in the house. He was there for a couple of days. Then one morning he decided to spy on Hillary while she was in the shower. He went into the shower and waited for Hillary to arrive.
Not realizing she wasn’t alone Hillary went into the shower like she normally did and turned on the water. Gordon soon realized he made a mistake. The volume of water was a thousand times that of a normal shower. He was swept off his feet. He tried to swim for it but the current was too strong. He got swept down the drain. He died in the plumbing.
Our second candidate is Jeffrey Harris. He is also from Goddess Smith’s world. And he also died in Texas house. It was October. Jeffrey was in the living room. Hillary and Melody were watching television while Jeffrey was watching them. An argument broke out between the two class two giantesses over what to watch. As he watched angry words were exchanged then the two giant women came to blows. Jeffery should have run for cover but was too awed by the cat fight. The next thing he knew they were rolling on the floor right toward him. He got dragged into the fight.
Picture the scene, Hillary is 5,000 feet tall; Melody is 5280 feet tall while Jeffrey is six feet tall. He didn’t stand a chance. He got crushed to death and the giantesses didn’t even realize it.
In case you’re wondering the fight ended in a draw for goddess Smith came in and broke it up.
I’m pleased that our next candidate Helen Hill is a Deian. If only all the Deians would bump themselves off.
Anyway Helen was going on a tour on various worlds in GTS-Space with her girlfriends when they came to Buffy’s world.
When Helen and her two friends encountered Buffy they assumed they could boss Buffy around. Buffy was only a thousand feet tall and Helen was 3300 feet tall. Tall even for a Deian. Even the shortest of her friends was 3000 feet tall. But what the Deians did not realize is that Buffy is one the few GTS-Goddesses with the power to grow.
After being abused by the Deians Buffy decided enough was enough. She increased her height until she was 12,000 feet tall.
“I can reach 70 miles in height. I suggest you retreat back to your home world.” Buffy warned.
“So can I.” Helen said as she got her size master 3000.
“Helen I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” One of her friends warned. But Helen didn’t listen. Instead she pointed the gun at herself and said.
“Gun, increase my size until I’m 70 miles tall.”
“I obey.” The gun fired and Helen began to grow.
Her friends ran to give her space to grow. Buffy with a sigh decided she better grow to 70 miles tall as well.
It was quite a sight, two blonds getting bigger and bigger. Soon both were 70 miles tall. But Helen soon realized there was very little air that high up. While it wasn’t a problem for Buffy for GTS-goddess don’t need air to live. Helen was another story. She quickly died.
Our next candidate is Tom Small. Like Helen he also had a size change gun. But in his case he made himself too small. Tom had a girlfriend named Trish that was into the shrunken man part of giantess. So Tom invited her over telling her that he had a surprise for her. Then he shrank himself to the size of an ant and waited for her to arrive.
Using the key he had given her weeks before Trish entered the apartment. Tom was stunned at the sight of Trish. She was a 5’11” tall redhead but to Tom she was a mountain.
“Tom where are you?”
“I’m down here.” He shouted out but his voice was too small for Trish to hear. He should have made himself bigger at that point but was too busy watching his girlfriend get closer and closer.
“Woah! I’m down “His words got cut off when Trish stepped on him. Tom became a blood stain on her shoe.
Now it’s time for you to decide which one of these fools deserves the Darwin award? Should it be down the drain Gordon? Cat fight watching Jeffrey? Too tall Helen? Or too tiny Tom? Cast your vote now.
To be concluded
Author note: I was originally planning a Christmas story but my muse had other ideas. Place your vote in the comment section. I will be taking votes until December 31st
Have a merry Christmas everyone.