Author note: Wrote this quickie in late 2000 during the American election mess.

Connie Swan turned off the TV in dismay. The presidential election seamed to be without end. The trouble was both men seamed to be losers, unable to lead the United States.

"I could do a better job of running things than those two losers." She muttered.

"Want the chance to do so?" A male voice said.

Connie was startled. She was so sure she was alone in the house.

"Who said that?" Connie asked.

"My name is Mr. G if you want to run the planet, go the field behind your house."

Connie thought she was going nuts, but she was the type of woman who wants to be in charge, so she went to the field behind her house.

"Now what?" Connie asked as she stood in the center of the field. Then she began to grow.

"What's happening to me?" Connie cried as she shot up above the landscape. Taller and taller she grew, until she reached 1500 feet in height. Then she stopped growing.

"I'm huge." Connie cried in wonder. Then a plan began to from in her mind.

The next day, Connie found herself in Washington D.C. She went up to the White House and said.

"I Connie Swan, declare myself the next president of the United States. If either Bush or Gore has a problem with that, I challenge them to come here to Washington D.C. to confront me."

As she hoped both Bush and Gore took the bait.

"Look here Ms. I was elected president of the United States." Bush said.

"No! I'm going to be the next president of the United States. I got the most votes." Gore said.

"Guys your both wrong." Connie said. When both Gore and Bush began to protest further, she crushed them underfoot on live national television.

A horrified Bill Clinton looking on then said.

"But you can't become the next president. You weren't even on the ballot."

"Then I'll ask congress to make a constitutional amendment to make me president. On second thought make that president for life." Connie replied.

The American people tried to resist. But Connie being a GTS-Goddess proved to be indestructible. So congress, the senate and the states did what she asked and passed the required constitutional amendments.

The end