Linda Baker cheerfully hummed to herself as she busied herself about the kitchen. The sweet smell of pumpkin pie permeated the air. Ghoulish jack-o-lanterns illuminated the room. And festive black & orange streamers hung from the walls & ceiling.
The woman herself was dressed accordingly. A pointed witch's hat sat crocked atop her head. A midnight black skirt adorned her amply curved body. And a pair of black & orange striped socks stretched from her black heels to her thick thighs. Even her natural dark frizzy hair & thick-rimmed glasses matched her witchy costume. Her outward appearance magnificently displayed the festivity that she felt on the inside.
Linda loved Halloween. Something about the macabre holiday sparked her inner child. From the candy & adorable trick-or-treaters to the ghastly decorations & spooky vibe that hung in the air like a thick fog, she treasured every part. She hummed a cheery tone as she carved the top of a pumpkin with a sharp steel knife.
A sudden "Splat!" against the window above the sink caused her to jump & send the knife clattering across the table. Her wide-brimmed hat nearly fell off as she spun her head & peered in the direction of the sound. A strange clear & yellow liquid oozed down the outside of the glass. Another "Splat!" and gooey explosion on the window caused her to flinch again. Through the goo-distorted window, she spotted a skeleton boy, his arm drawn back in preparation to lob another egg at her house.
Linda scoffed with frustration. She had spent hours decorating the front of her house with curly-legged spiders, hanging ghosts, and hand-carved pumpkins. And now, some teenage delinquent, disguised in a glow-in-the-dark skeleton costume & skull mask, was covering them all with messy bits of shattered eggs. Her high heels stomped to the front door, and she swung it open.
"Splat!" another egg exploded directly against her chest. The irritating slim trickled down her cleavage & soaked her dress. The young trickster gasped at the accuracy of his shot. Then, he fell to the ground & cackled wildly.
Linda's eyes flamed with rage. Without thinking, she pulled a wooden wand from her pocket & pointed it at the laughing skeleton. Seeing this, the boy only roared louder with laughter as he rolled on the ground & held his stomach.
With a sudden flash of light, the boy's laughter disappeared, along with the boy himself. Only his costume remained, which lay crumpled across the lawn. Linda froze with shock. What just happened? What had she just done? And how had she done it?
Linda's mind flashed back to her childhood. The vision of a floating cereal box pouring on its own, as her younger self twiddled a finger in the air, played in her mind. But more prominently, there was the memory of her conservative mother's reaction to such an odd display. One private school & several medications later, Linda had almost completely forgotten the strange memory, or at least she chalked it up to her overactive imagination.
"Magic isn't real," she repeated in her mind.
But as she watched a small puff of smoke float out of the discarded skeleton costume, she questioned her own magical abilities.
Linda hesitantly approached & nudged the pile of clothing with her pointed black heel. Her face turned pale. Had she just zapped someone out of existence? The thought filled her with guilt almost as much as it terrified her. She peered closer & noticed movement under a pair of white briefs. Gasping, she wondered if she had turned that troubled young man into a frog. Hands shaking, she pinched the underwear by its waistband & lifted it into the air. And there was nothing, just an empty pair of black pants with glowing bones printed on the front. However, she suddenly felt the underwear that hung from her pinched fingers sway as something moved around inside them. Fighting back the urge to throw the whites to the ground & run away screaming, she brought them closer to her face for investigation.
A pair of tiny legs kicked wildly in the air as they dangled from the underwear, one for each leg hole. The legs were minuscule in size but distinctly human. At least the miniature boy wasn't a frog or some other ghastly creature. Linda guffawed from a mixture of emotions: disbelief at what she saw, relief that she hadn't vaporized someone, and amusement at how ridiculous the shrunken young man looked strung up by his own massively oversized underwear. It looked like he was receiving the world's largest wedgie! She curiously poked the wiggling lump of his little body where the two windmilling legs connected. Her black manicured fingers covered her mouth, which hung open in complete astonishment.
The self-proclaimed witch suddenly became acutely aware of the bizarre situation that she found herself in. She looked around the neighborhood street, ensuring that no wandering trick-or-treater had witnessed her little stunt.
Linda bundled the panicking little creature into the undergarment & made for her front door. She frowned at the sight of her animatronic zombie, whose face was now covered in eggshells. Her hand tightened around the shrunken culprit's wriggling body in frustration. Shutting the door behind her, she devilishly smirked at the feeling of the tiny teenager struggling against the bundled cloth & her squeezing hands.
Linda reached her kitchen table & shook the underwear upside down. The little guy tumbled out & onto the surface. The confused woman loomed closer & watched him curiously. The tiny creature appeared to be a regular young man, only his size resembled that of a mouse & he was as bare as the day he was born. Linda's cheeks turned pink as she noticed how muscular & toned his young body was. He looked up & met her gaze. His features distorted with complete horror & he feebly tried to crawl backward away from her.
Linda blinked. Something about his little panic-stricken face seemed familiar. She peered in closer, but this only caused the frightened little guy to shield his face defensively with his puny yet toned arms. With mild irritation, her fingers overpowered the boy & pinned his arms to his sides. The feeling of his tiny biceps & smooth skin against her fingertips sent goosebumps up her arm. The determined woman peered in closer, trying to make out the boy's delicate features. The shrunken lad had short brown hair, a chiseled jaw, and light brown eyes that stared up at her wide with shock.
"Derek?" Linda whispered in recognition.
She brought his trembling nude body to her face & examined him uncomfortably close.
"Derek Collins," she confirmed in an authoritative tone, "I should've known a little troublemaker like you would try to egg my house."
The shrunken boy appeared to be her least favorite student. She gave her fingers a slight squeeze, and the terrified teenager squealed a startled yelp.
"Ms. Baker, w-what's happening?" His panicked voice sounded an octave higher due to his size. "How did you grow so huge?"
Linda shook her head & simpered down at him.
"Oh, I didn't grow, little Derek," She corrected. "You are the one who shrunk."
Derek held out his arms & looked down at his exposed body with confused dread.
"This can't be real," he chanted in a terrified delirium, "How could something like this happen?"
"Well, it seems as though your marauding ways have finally caught up to you & now you have to face the consequences of your actions," Linda explained condescendingly. "You always cause such a disruption in my class; no matter what I do, I just never seem to get through to you."
She shook his tiny body as it quivered against her fingers. The little brat had caused her numerous headaches & wasted hours of class time just so that he could goof off with his buddies & make jokes at her expense.
For a moment, the gears in her head spun. Then, they clicked together as she took in the sight of her class clown reduced to such a humiliating size, his naked body fearfully shaking in her grasp. A cruel smirk spread across her face as Derek's expression became increasingly uneasy.
"You really shouldn't have egged my house," Linda purred triumphantly, "Don't you know the rules of Halloween? It's 'Trick-or-Treat.' Houses like mine that hand out treats don't get the 'Trick.'"
The doorbell rang & broke the tension of the confrontation. The muffled sound of children chanting "Trick-or-Treat!" could be heard outside. Linda's head turned to face the door. Then, it turned back to Derek, the grin on her face even wider now.
"That sounds like a jolly group who knows how to follow the rules," she mused.
Linda reached for the table & plucked off the pumpkin's cap, which she had been carving before she was rudely interrupted by eggs splatting her windows. She peered inside the pumpkin filled with its gloopy guts & dangled the shrunken boy's squirming body over the opening, then let go. Derek squealed as he squashed into the slime stretching about the half-finished jack-o-lantern. Giggling at his gooey form, Linda waved a finger down at him & closed him into darkness.