“Another bagel, man?”  

Kurt took a large bite out of his sandwich. Ham, turkey, butter, and all the other good stuff, perfectly between two halves of a sesame seed bagel. He gulped. “What, they’re good!” He insisted, his mouth still half-full. “They’re energy dense, good for carbs, delicious, and easy to carry! They’re the best lunch food you could ask for.” 

Selena (or Sally, as she preferred) rolled her eyes. “Just don’t get any crumbs on the van. I don’t wanna clean it.” She wrapped her curly blond hair up behind her head and tied it into a bun before donning her mandated ‘Chaffman HVAC Technician’ baseball cap. 

Seeing this, Kurt was reminded to toss on his own cap. Afterward, he checked the seat between his legs, brushing off what few crumbs were present to the floor of the van. “You’re such a killjoy.” 

“Be that as it may, I’m not gonna get yelled at by Jamie because you eat like a pig.” She said, taking a final sip of her latte before tossing it out the window and rolling it back up. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll be careful.” He yielded. He reached and pulled up a clipboard from between the centre console and the side of his seat. “Alright, end of lunch break.” Licking his forefinger and thumb, he lifted the paper to inspect the one below it. “How many more jobs today?” He asked, parsing the page. 

“Just one. Busted AC.” Sally answered, twisting the key in the ignition. The van revved to life after a short bout of groans and complaints from the engine. “You won’t be tiny long. Speaking of which...” She flipped a switch that was jerry-rigged into the dashboard, being accompanied by a mechanical whirr in the back of the van.  

“I won’t be tiny? I was tiny the whole shift! Why can’t you be the tiny for once?” The Sizer made an idle clicking noise, likely a bent fan striking against the casing. Annoying, but wouldn’t affect its performance – those things were robust. 

“Because you’re always the tiny. That’s just how it is.” She put the van into gear and drove out of the lot. “I don’t even know why you grew for break. Would’ve been more efficient to eat while you were tiny.” 

“Well, if I was tiny, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the delicate proportions of my bagel.” 

Sally shook her head at that one. 

A few minutes of driving later, and Kurt had finished his bagel. He sighed contentedly – after months, he’d finally mastered just the right proportions of his meal to make it perfect. He turned to his coworker. “Want me to get back in there now?” 

“You know the routine.” She answered, not taking her eyes off the road. 

Reluctantly, he unbuckled his seatbelt and dropped the seat backwards until the headrest struck whatever box was behind the chair. He awkwardly shimmied around, further inhibited by the movements of the van, until he got into the back seat. “Can’t wait ‘til they come out with a paper that says these things give you cancer.” He said, staring into the swirling blue orifice.  

“Just get in the damned Sizer.” 

He crawled inside. Familiar tingles ran across his body, accompanied by the onset of cold sweats and a general sense of malaise. Continuing to go through, he felt his way around the cloth of the van floor until his sight returned.  

Big van. Familiar, but still strange every time. Towering ceiling, large bristles of cloth. Massive seats.  

Overcoming the vertigo of shrinking, he wandered back to the front of the van, careful not to be knocked over by Sally’s often poor driving. It was a sort of sea legs he had to train for, getting used to the sway and bump of the vehicle when it was controlled by his coworker.  

“Hand?” He muttered up at her. “Goddamn, I’ve got bad Size-ache today.” He did up the top few buttons of his shirt, trying to maintain that upper-class professional look that Jamie always insisted they project. 

Sally scooped the now-shrunken Kurt up in her hand, placing him back on the dashboard. “Shouldn’t have eaten before you went in.” 

“Bah.” He hand-waved her explanation away. Turning to face the window, he noticed she was pulling into an alleyway. “What’s going on?” 

The van came to a stop. “Just having a little fun, you’d understand.” Sally said. 

“A little wha-?” He was snatched off the dashboard by his coworker, his limbs pinned straight by her coiled fingers as he was brought to her face. A crude grin lit up her visage, and to his side Kurt watched her stick out her opposite hand and turn on the seat warmer. With the same hand, she reached below to undo her belt. Not her seatbelt, he quickly noticed, but her pants belt. “What are you doing?!” He exclaimed. 

With difficulty, she pulled it tight, allowing the buckle to pop free. “Told you already,” she said, releasing a large breath she had drawn in while tightening the belt, “having some fun.” The belt slid open, allowing her pants to loosen.  

Furthering his shock and confusion, Sally began to move him behind her. Her other hand was holding open the back of the dress pants, allowing Kurt to get a good look at the imposing crevice. However, more so than a good look at her simple grey panties that seemed to disappear between her cheeks, he got a good smell.  

He’d worked with her before; he was familiar with how she often developed a bad odour after a day at work. There was no shame in it – it was tough work, usually. Hell, he’d had his own sweaty days. But this – this was something else entirely. The putrid odour of stale sweat and unbearable humidity hit him like a truck, even when he was held a good two feet (normal scale) above her ass crack.  

Desperately, he tried to produce a plea, but he only rasped at the unbecoming reek of ass. “What about the job!” He managed to get out between coughs and half-breaths. “I need to inspect!” 

“It was really more of a one-gal job, anyway.” 

“Wait-!” He plead to deaf ears, being interrupted by the stomach-curdling sensation of freefall. In the moment of freefall, he felt every bit of increasing discomfort in all manners as he plummeted towards the back of his coworker’s pants. The incrementing heat, the growing humidity, the accumulating stench, the heightening sense that he could taste the sweat in the air. Then the thump as he properly made contact, slipping into the dark depths of Sally’s work garb. Immediately, she sat back down into her seat, her immense weight crushing upon Kurt. Her ass cheeks slid together, pinning him in place and slathering him in moisture. 

He gasped for untainted air that no longer existed, instead replaced by unbearably hot and unfathomably humid atmosphere, saturated with the salty, bitter odour of her sweat and thick with naturally occurring bodily oils. Up above, the last vestiges of light were cut off as Sally re-did her belt, finally relaxing in the seat.  

Just as it seemed impossible for things to get worse, Kurt felt the heat of the seat-warmer below him, even hotter than the already sweltering recesses of ass. He thrashed about, trying anything to get out before the circumstances could grow worse, but instead only elicited a giggle from outside, along with making little progress. 

The grey panties were drawing nearer, bunched up and buried between the monumental ass cheeks. They seemed the only saving grace between the greatest of miseries, providing a barrier between him and the centre of her monolithic butt; her asshole. Just the thought of its existence sent shivers down his spine. To think that he was in one of the ‘safer’ regions of her ass, and that there was a part of her body that was worse, was terrifying.  

The van rumbled back to life, the engine whimpering as it shifted into gear. The idle shaking of the vehicle jostled sweat droplets between Sally’s cheeks, causing them to dribble down rapidly, soaking Kurt in the hot liquid. He retched, just in time for a particularly large droplet to shoot into his mouth, coating his throat in the sickening liquid. Launched into a coughing fit, he continued to thrash about, getting further drenched in bodily excretions. He got a hand free, which on impulse he used to cover his mouth. This turned out to be a terrible choice, as his hand was also covered in sweat. His mouth grew dry with saltiness, his salivary glands unable to keep up with the deluge of liquid.  

“Gah!” He cried out, having the side of his face suddenly crammed against a slab of ass-flesh as his coworker performed a tight turn. Rubbing his face off with his freed arm, he immediately regretted it, as his arm was just as soaked with the liquid as his face, making the action only result in rubbing the sweat in. 

He was sinking deeper between her cheeks. He was touching her panties now, which came with an awful realization.  

The panties were not, in fact, grey. Under normal circumstances, he imagined they were white. But they were drenched, so much so that they appeared grey. Positively, undoubtably soaked with ass sweat to the point they could contain no more.  

Kurt writhed in a desperate attempt to retreat from the depths of butt, to get away from his coworker’s undergarments. It proved ineffectual, merely causing him to take a few accidental swats at the wet fabric. 

It was even hotter now; the seat-warmer taking further effect. The air grew heavier, sweat permeating the air more than the shrunken man had conceived was possible. He took deep breaths to sate his need for oxygen, being forced to inhale the toiling miasma around him. 

The engine went silent. The vibrations ceased. “Damn, these pants are loose.” Sally muttered to herself. “Hey, Kurt!” She called from above. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I can’t have you falling out.” 

“HEY! Get me the hell out of here!” Kurt shouted, beating his fists on the skin around him. 

A bit of light came in, along with a hand. He let out a sigh of relief, thinking he’d finally be getting out. However, the fingers that he thought were saving him reached past, grabbing the bunched-up string of Sally’s underwear and pulling it aside. Her thumb struck his back, shoving him deep into her crack, into the sweltering hell. She released the underwear behind him, which elastically snapped into place, striking Kurt. Just as he thought it couldn’t get any worse, the wet panties began pushing against him, Sally pulling her panties tight, giving herself a wedgie. With his back to the soaked fabric, he was dragged deeper into her depths, where the smell of ass grew more potent, along with the heat and humidity. What he had seen as his saving grace had turned to the very thing drawing him closer to his coworker’s unspeakable asshole at a moment’s notice.  

Outside, the van door swung open, making a quiet but audible squeaking noise – they had needed to fix that for a while. The world around Kurt shifted, the weight of ass lifting off him, but was unfortunately quickly replaced by Sally’s ass cheeks coming together from the sides to crush him from that direction, instead. 

The halves of butt slid up and down, kneading him and rubbing more juices over him. He made an educated guess she was walking. There were voices in conversation, he realized, though after giving a short attempt at shouting for the other person’s attention, he resolved that it was futile – he was too deep and too small to be audible.  

Some more walking. God, it was hot. It was already a hot day, being knee-deep in summer, but the addition of being in his coworker’s ass made Kurt understand what it might be like to be inside a toaster. He paused, struck by a realization – the job was a broken A/C unit. The house would be just as hot, if not hotter, than the normal outdoor climate. He fell into another thrashing fit, with every fibre of his being wishing not to learn what would happen if the already perspiration-prone Sally were to enter a blisteringly hot building.  

“So, this is the troublemaker?” He thought he heard from outside. Though he wasn’t religious, he muttered a prayer that it would be a quick fix – at that point, it was worth a try. 

A different voice concluded after a short conversation of impertinent information. “I guess I’ll leave you to it, then.”  

“Alright, bugger. Let’s see what’s wrong with you.” Sally thought aloud, once the host had presumably left.  

Suddenly, the glutes around Kurt went hard as rock, crushing him at both sides like a vice. The wind was knocked out of his lungs and his ribs felt as though they were about to crack from the immense unyielding pressure. “Good lord you’re heavy!” His coworker groaned at the A/C unit, apparently attempting to move the machine elsewhere to get better access to it. After hearing a thud, the powerful muscles at Kurt’s sides relaxed, allowing him to continue breathing the ass-scented air, which managed to be preferable to no air. 

The world moved, and there was a brief sense of freefall. When what little equilibrium that had existed returned, the direction of gravity had shifted. Where up had previously been the top of Sally’s crack, it was now her panties, against his back. Down, in comparison, had been shifted to deeper between his coworker’s cheeks. Those very same cheeks were also spread further apart, with less pressure keeping them together, and by extension holding Kurt in place. Putting two and two together, he concluded that his captor had dropped down on all fours to tamper with the broken unit.  

With the combination of gravity working against him, and the natural pressure holding Sally’s ass halves together, Kurt was left with no support to keep him from sliding deeper into her chasm. The wet walls surrounding him provided no footing, and he was drawn at an accelerated rate towards the bottom of her ass crack.  

With a horrible plat, he landed on Sally’s asshole. The horrible, wrinkled orifice, soaked with natural oils and sweat. He shoved his hands out in front of himself, planting them on the rubbery skin to keep his body away from it. The hole extruded out from her body a tad, giving it a torus-like shape. A seemingly random intuition came forth from his mind – it was likely salty from the juices sat atop it. A horrible thought entered his mind.  

By God, it was the world’s worst bagel.  

He valiantly fought down the mounting urge to hurl, which would result in him vomiting up his own bagel – something to be avoided at all costs. The smell was even worse here, to no one’s surprise. However, what did come as a surprise, was the magnitude of how much worse it smelled.  

As if matters couldn’t be made worse, Sally chose that moment to pull up her panties, burrowing them even deeper into her crack. The cloth struck Kurt’s rear, shoving him down and pinning him against her asshole. Out of shock and horror, he thrashed, writhing and trying to move away, to push back against the soaked garment. He groaned, grit his teeth, kicked and punched, all to no avail. He shut his eyes, trying to avoid the inevitable pinkeye he’d get from the altercation, though pinkeye would be the least of his concerns even if he were to escape. 

The sphincter twitched and pulsed against him, winking. At this point, it was unclear to him if this was Sally toying with him or her body’s natural movements subconsciously reacting to his presence. Hell, he was beginning to wonder if she even remembered he was there.  

After what could have been hours or minutes pressed against Sally’s butthole, the sensation of inertia returned. Gravity shifted back to where it had been before and ceased to aid in pressing Kurt into the horrid orifice. However, the wedgie behind him made pushing off the shithole remain an impossibility, doubly so as the cheeks at his sides collapsed to their previous position, holding him in place.  

There was more walking. The ass halves shifted against him, and the quivering exit undulated in the movement, slathering the shrunken man in the most putrid of secretions. “Sorry to inform you, but your A/C is fully busted.” Sally, in her customer service voice, spoke to the customer, of whom Kurt still did not have a face or identifiable voice. “Though, it looks like you’re still under warranty. We can have your unit replaced and reinstalled for free. I’ll even oversee it myself.” Kurt wanted to bash his head against a wall. Firstly, because that was not how their warranty worked, and secondly, because it meant he’d likely have to return to that building. He'd suffer endless teasing from Sally at best, and she’d probably drop him into her ass again at worst.  

There was some more standing, and likely more inaudible talking to go with it, before Sally returned to the van, which Kurt wouldn’t have known had it not been for the signature whine from the driver door. Though, he would have figured out anyway, since his coworker soon sat on the seat, crushing him under her weight and pressing her terrible asshole against him. The van came to life with a groan.  

He didn’t know when, or even if he’d be let out, but one thing was for certain: this sucked.