Cathy walked into Price Chopper and put her stuff in the back behind the customer service counter. Her friend Tiffany came up to her and leaned on the counter. “Someone’s very happy today. Did you get some tingles in your unit?” she asked.
“You could say that,” Cathy replied.
“So what’s his name?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t get their names.”
Tiffany stared at her. “Names? How many were there?”
“Um, well, I used three, but I think there were another 6 or 7.”
Tiffany leaned over the counter. “For God’s sake, what the hell is wrong with you?” she said, somewhat disappointed.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Cathy responded, “everything we did was safe...well, it was for me anyway. Besides, they were all a smash.” Cathy smiled a bit at the innuendo, which Tiffany figured meant something, but had to get back to the register and didn’t have time to ask.
“We need to talk later. Let’s get dinner when we’re out.” Tiffany said.
“I was thinking the same thing...besides, I have something BIG I want to tell you.” Once again, Tiffany didn’t understand the innuendo.
Around 8:00 pm, the two girls both left work and went to McDonald’s for dinner. They got their food and sat in an empty corner. Sunday nights were always slow in their town, so there were barely any people there. “Ok, so what’s going on? You’re being weirder than the last guy I went out with.”
Cathy looked around quickly and leaned in closer. “What would you say if I found a way to shrink people?”
Tiffany nearly spit out her drink. “Ok, now I KNOW you’ve gone crazy.”
“No, I’m being serious! Let’s assume for a second that I could shrink a person down to about an inch tall.”
“What would you do with them?”
Cathy chuckled. “You mean ‘what HAVE I done with them’? I’ve already used some to please myself, and let me tell you, they may be an inch tall, but they definitely drove me wild!”
Tiffany put down her chicken nuggets. “You’re not kidding, are you?”
“Not in the least. When we’re done here, I’ll show you what I mean.”
Tiffany just went along and nodded. After they finished their meals, the two walked over to Cathy’s house, which was just down the block. They walked inside and up to her room, to which the door was closed and had a towel under it. “Got an ant problem?”
“More like a mant problem,” Cathy laughed back. She picked up the towel and opened the door, then led Tiffany over to her bed. She looked down at the Tupperware container and counted all 7 remaining people.
Tiffany leaned over and looked into the container. She watched them for a minute, noticing their movements and checking out every detail of them before she spoke. “Holy shit!”
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After hearing Cathy close the front door, Toby sat down and leaned up against the side of the container. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. The smoke drifted through the air and encompassed the whole container in a few seconds. He figured that he was kind enough to stay away from the rest of everyone in case someone really doesn’t like cigarettes, but also figured that he probably only had until this evening to enjoy some smokes.
“Ugh, that is so disgusting,” Nathan said.
“Hey, I probably don’t have much time left, so I might as well get my blows in while I can,” Toby replied.
Nathan rolled his eyes and walked to the opposite corner. Meanwhile, Nathan, Robyn, David and Tammy were trying to climb out of the container. Nathan was on all fours with David standing on his back and Tammy truing to climb up on them, but when she reached David’s shoulders, she lost her balance and fell backwards into Robyn.
“Dammit!” Tammy got up and brushed off her pants. “You know, if you guys helped us we’d be out of here by now,” she continued, directing her attitude towards the others.
“Why? There’s no place for us to go!” Jill yelled from her husband’s arms.
“So you just want to stay here and die!?” Tammy shot back.
“No, I’m going to stay here with my husband!” Jill yelled.
“And die with him,” Robyn said.
“Fuck you, bitch!” Jill jumped up and pushed up off of Mike, sprinted at Robyn, and dove at her. While it took a few seconds for Jill to cross the Tupperware container, it still took Robyn by surprise when she was thrown to the ground. The next thing she knew, Jill had two fists full of hair and was pulling at them as hard as she could.
Mike, who was shoved down, got up and pulled his wife off of Robyn while the others tried to free Robyn. After a struggle, Jill let go, still grabbing and swinging. “Let me at her, I’m gonna kill the bitch!”
“Easy, hun, easy! It’s not worth it!” Mike yelled at her.
“Yeah, besides, the last thing we need is to start killing each other.” At that sentence, everyone stopped what they were doing and took another grasp of their situation. Even Jill suddenly stopped going crazy. “I know no one wants to admit it, but we’re in a bad situation, and if we don’t keep cool and try to work the problem, we’re all fucked.”
“So what do you suggest we do?” Tammy asked.
There was a pause for a short time while they all pondered their next course of action. In the background, they could hear birds chirping outside and the sound of cars driving by.
“Well first, I suggest we all try to relax a little. The crazier we get, the worse things will be,” Mike said.
Everyone agreed. For a while, they all went to separate areas of the container and talked amongst themselves. Some of them talked about their lives, other talked about sports and politics. It was almost as if they were sitting in a Starbucks just hanging out. No one had bothered to pay any attention to the time until they heard a door slam shut. Everyone immediately stopped talking and looked at the clock, then back to the door at the sound of footsteps. Because of the towel, the sounds were muffled a bit, but everyone heard the same thing: a second set of footsteps. It was confirmed when they heard an unfamiliar voice, then Cathy’s reply with the word “mant”, which was said the same time as she removed the towel so it came through clearly.
The door swung open and in walked Cathy and another girl. They walked over to the bed and stared down at them. While Cathy counted them, the other girl simply looked at them, her eyes darting from one person to another.
“Holy shit!” she exclaimed. “Where did they come from?”
Cathy walked over to her desk, smiling as she noticed the small spot of dried blood on the floor, and pulled out a small travel bag. Tiffany walked over as she opened it. “An old boyfriend of mine was very smart and created a shrinking potion. It can be made into liquid, pill, or powder form depending on if you want to put it in a recipe, force-feed it to them, or put it in their drink. It’s odorless and tasteless, so they can’t detect it.” She pointed to the bed. “I got all of these people, plus the 3 others that I already killed, from all over.” She smiled. “We now own the world’s first and only shrinking formula!”
Tiffany smiled a curious smile. “Wait, what about your ex? He’s not making it somewhere else now?”
“No, because after I got tired of him, I stole the formula, shrunk him, and squished him between my toes.” Hearing this made everyone on the bed cringe again.
Meanwhile, Tiffany was becoming slightly aroused by all of this. She closed her eyes and let a small moan out. “Mmm, that sounds like fun. Just like squishing bugs on a sidewalk.”
Cathy put the case down and walked back to the bed. “Well why don’t you take a few of them?”
“Really? I don’t want to take your fun from you.”
Cathy picked up the container and held it up. “C’mon, it’s not like we’re going to run out.”
Tiffany thought about it for a minute, looking back and forth at the bunch that was left. Her gaze stopped on a couple holding onto each other. “Hmm, I think I’ll take this lovely little pair.” She grabbed the two out of the container and headed towards the door again. “I think I’ll take them downstairs for a little R&R.”
The two shared a chuckle at yet another size pun, which Tiffany was starting to make sense out of the jokes Cathy was making earlier at work. “Go easy on them...or not,” Cathy said as Tiffany headed out the door and downstairs for her own adventures.