Out of all the colorful crewmembers of the Straw Hat Pirates, Usopp had always been the teller of the tallest tales, the most fantastical fibs, and the longest running lies, exaggerations, and cocky copouts. With a nose as elongated and notably protruding as a preposterously prone Pinocchio, and an ever gaping, ever running, fastidiously fast-moving mouth -- he even looked the part of a serial spinster. But one day -- he found himself the subject, focus, crux, and living of a tale most unusual -- one just as much his own making as any other day -- but because of his own foolhardy, short-sighted, and all around ill-advised actions. The air tasted like bitter saltwater taffy. The winds were spurious and sudden. The smoldering sun hung high overhead, birds chirping wildly with the winds bereft of let-up of any kind on either side. It was impossible for one's eyes not to droop, even if only to wince and squint through the constant onslaught of terrific beams of light that tenderly tucked their way past the onlooking ogling of anyone unfortunate enough to be curling fists in front of their face to meander a glance.
"...When you're done making binoculars with your fists, Usopp. You can head to the lower deck and get caught up on the responsibilities you've been putting off." Nami spoke with a sincere air of genuine concern when she spoke. Her hands tucked their way under her chest, perkily pressing it up - as if subconsciously - or as if it served the purpose of making her words more worth humoring. Her finger idly tasseled her hair in circles, as her puffed-up lips pursed together and quietly commenced with warbling a small throaty purr of feminine wiles. "C'mon, Usopp, you're better than this...you're giving us both a bad name if you just keep blowing off your responsibilities like this, dancing around whatever tasks you're delegated. A ship doesn't run on one Captain alone. It takes a whole crew singing in harmony to make a shanty, just as it takes a hardy handful of pirates to run the ship they're singing on. You get where I'm going with this? We're never going to be swimming in riches if you can't pull it together for just a few months and pull at LEAST your own weight around here."
Despite the heartfelt pleas by Nami, the only thing Usopp's heart felt was grief. And boredom.
Boredom unrivaled.
A lax, smarmy grin waxed its way across his face like a sleazy beachgoer lathering up a coating of sunscreen along a female stranger's back, complete with the clasped-together hands running over one another, and the beady-eyed brow-hiking to indicate he somehow understood an inexistent encrypted message tucked between the lines of ambiguity that were not, would not, and could not have had time to form. He was a conspiracy theorist whose conspiracies were organic and home grown, entirely artificed in his own head without preponderance of evidence of any kind, or thwarted by such obstacles as truth or logic.
In other words, Usopp was a bullshit artist. A trite and uninspired one at that, the sort to fingerpaint smears on a canvas and try to cash it in for a price tag of whatever he wants in that particular moment in time. And right now. Usopp wanted some sleep.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhh...catch up with MORE work? When am I ever gonna catch up -- with a little shut-eye...?" Usopp, bless his heart, had been on painstaking lookout duty since dawn, and his
eyes were starting to droop as the sun began to set, frequently mewling and whining about the infrequency with which he was permitted breaks. He'd take anything over staring at the horizon, featureless and infinite as the ocean surrounding. Perhaps this under-the-deck-task he'd been procrastinating wouldn't be so bad. But if he gave up too easily, he figured he'd be pegged for a total pushover, a matt for everyone to stomp over with all the tyrannical tyranny of a titaness-in-training. Then he'd have even MORE responsibilities. Sighing heftily and sinking his chest as he slumped forward, he put up a paraded-about effort of token resistance.
"I don't think it's fair to characterize me as some kind of serial slack-off...! I work half as hard to get twice as far as anybody on this ship!!!" Usopp poutily asserted. "It's not my fault it takes me sooo much less energy to do sooo much more." He wept, throwing an arm over his eyes, having to adjust twice to keep his nose from bending against his elbow nook at an uncomfortably inconveniencing angle. His words were still, nevertheless, adenoidal and nasally to a lugubrious degree. "Can you imagine it? Suffering from success? This is why I never went with making an honest living, as a journeyman, or a flutist...I COULD'VE BEEN A BLACKSMITH! But do I look like the kinda sorry schmuck who wants to chuck heated coals and work the back AND bank breaking job of an ARTISAN?"
"Usopp," Nami continued. Usopp continued louder.
"HECK NO! I don't want to be punished for being good at something!" Usopp's fingers clasped around the crown of his head like an ornate skullcap, the crown prince of laziness, exerting far more work in his performance than simply heading below deck and doing whatever menial task was asked of him. The math still made sense in his head, perhaps owed to the several gigatons of blunt force trauma being exerted by repeatedly strenuously grasped fingertips.
"Usopp," Nami countered, a bit firmer this time. Usopp countered a lot firmer this time.
"This is my ticket to easy living! DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO OUR FUTURE CHILDREN WHY THEIR OLD MAN IS SO AGED PREMATURE AND INFIRM BEFORE HE EVEN HIT FIFTY? THE LEGEND OF USOPP...BROUGHT TO AN END AT THE WHIMS OF A HEARTLESS HAG WITH A BROOMSTICK...NOT FOR CARRYING HERSELF AROUND ON, NO, NO, NO...BUT FOR POOR, LABORING USOPP! FOR TIRELESS TIRED USOPP! THANKLESS! TORTURED! Tired." He bawled, peaking from behind his fist to see if the act was convincing enough to get him out of evening mopping duty.
No, it was not.
"USOPP." Nami finally, successfully established. The cravenly man snapped his overalls over all of his chest, leaving a small red mark, and eliciting a whine. He pointed somewhat timidly inward with a thumbs up of confirmation, to at least establish he understood he was being spoken to. "Down. To the decks. Below. Now. And you will remain underfoot, or you will PERISH underfoot, when you are KEELHAULED for having the LAMEST get-out-of-work excuse known to man.
The nerve! Ugh!" She hissed, somewhat cattily, fraying through her hair with her hands. "You know what you've gotta do...so. Do it."
But Usopp did not know what he was tasked with. He had a bit of a guess.
The whole crew had been charged with guarding a rare Minnu-Minnu Devil Fruit, his only thoughts on the job was to sprawl out comfortably and obstruct all efforts to consign him to responsibility. He wasn't sure what the fruit itself did, despite the name, just that it supposedly rendered someone unreachable for several hours. Or was it that it rendered everyone BUT the consumer unreachable for several hours? Maybe it was a good means of sleep-foraging? A hibernation technique? Eehhhh...
"Well...I guess if nobody wants to find out the old fashioned way...I'll wait until some other schmuck trots along and consumes these good eats. IN CASE ANYONE IS...WONDERING BY...I'LL JUST TURN THE OTHER WAY!" Usopp shouted, prophetically, to no small or large degree of success. His eyes darted around the vacant room, as the sea winds rocked and buffeted the vessel. It would be a long and arduously weighted wait before anyone showed any interest...
But Usopp's curiosity got the better of him much faster.
He couldn't resist the temptation to at least try the Minnu-Minnu Devil Fruit. Even if it did something strange to the consumer, and it had its reputation of making one unreachable, Usopp thought, partially aloud...
"If I'm unreachable...well, then I've got no one who can get ahold of me to tell me to do work! This is fantastic! I couldn't have asked for a better penalty if I imagined it myself! But...what if they know..." He blinked several times, holding the oblongly shaped fruit in hand, gently padding the thick, seedy outside...and gently rotating it in his hand. He realized rather quickly he could sneak a bite...and prop the corner of the fruit facing away, no one would be any the wiser. He'd have to be precise. Clandestine. Perfectly subtle in all of his mannerisms...
With a quick look around to ensure no one was watching, he popped the entire fruit into his mouth. His teeth shredded through it instantly as his head started to flood with the immediate airy regret that usually accompanied him like a persistent sting whenever he made a particularly soring mistake. Thankfully, this wasn't the sort of mistake to send him soaring after it blew up in his face horribly, scattering his belongings strewn about or forcing him to flee in adamant departure from the fallout of his consequences.
No, if anything, this was the sort of mistake to put everything in a different perspective entirely: down.
In a matter of seconds, Usopp's body began to shrink. He reached forward to balance himself on a counter, only to find it too high to reach the moment his fingers were just shy of connecting with its surface. He saw the strange, disorienting frame of his world's field of view diminish further and further until it was scarcely more than recollection of what it felt like to be able to peer out a window, or down at a hammock. Every time he felt his shrinking start to stall, it failed to carry through.
"A-any second now...heh...surely this can all be chalked up to what happens when clothes get chucked into the wash, right? Sure I can't...reach or...see or...wear anything I don't already have on...but...can't be that bad, right?"
Despite the levity, Usopp shrunk, and shrunk some more. He shrunk until he was no bigger than a thumbtack, and twice as prickly. Mouthing in annoyance his many objections to his miniature status, he started to wander. Panic. Even weep. But, composing himself in an instant he laughed, buffeted, and clasped his hand across his head -- starting to boldly proclaim and psyche himself up...
"Wait, what am I whining about? This ROCKS! I'm...unreachable! No one can tell me to do anything!" He ran, galloped, jumped, and squealed, his newfound size carrying with it all the aerodynamic perks of being bittier. However, as soon as his steely resolve was first challenged, some of the drawbacks made themselves apparent. "I can't wait to tell all of my friends to cancel any of their plans with me in them! Hahah! Sorry, suckers! Medical emergency! I can't be bothered to be bothered anymore~! I'm too small, much too small for that! The Legend of Usopp has reached its famous epilogue...I open new doors to the rest of my life...TODAY!"
This proved impossible.
For one, he struggled to open the door to his room. Implausibly impossible. He jumped. He stretched his arms as far as he could. He even tried fraying a thin hair of rope to try and lasso himself, reaching no further than a few inches at best. He hadn't quite thought this part through, nor did he ever believe he would have to.
His only way out, a proverbial golden gate to the likes of Robin or Nami in all their monstrously massive glory, which had once been within easy reach, was now far too high for him to achieve equaldom with in all the growing he had left to do in his miniaturized lifetime. He couldn't seem to fit underneath the door either, whatever existent diet he'd taken in largely counterproductive to squeezing through unless he wanted to be stomped flat by someone to, with kitelike flatness, drag himself through.
Not an option, and not a good look.
After several half-hearted attempts to jump and grab onto the knob, or force his backside through -- Usopp gave up on the entire endeavor and resigned himself to being stuck inside forever.
"It's fine! What's a better place to be in all the world than right here, at port, in my own personal little abode away from abode? Home away from home? Land offshore from land? Hah!"
But being confined to his room was only the beginning of his troubles, too plentiful and abundant to count. The sound of squeaking reminded him of how easily preyed upon he was at his size.
"N...nice...uh...rodents...you all wanna come out and play?" He remarked, emptily cracking his knuckles -- with a near mutely mouthed 'ow', and propping his back up. He shiftily darted his eyes about, ready to punch these squeaking pipsqueak's two front teeth in...only to hear the sound recede some. It was still overpowering, but every culprit that could've housed some hole-inhabiting little hellion proved empty, and, honestly, at his size, it was quite obvious where everything was. Socks. Stray bits of cork. Remnants of past meals, even down to the last crumb. He felt a great deal more lazy than he'd ever envisioned himself, being left with the remnants of past upsets and lacking cleanliness. Just as he began to envision how he might improve his standing and finally hold himself semi-accountable, it began again.
The squeaking. Methodical. Paced. Pacing in decrepit little circles like it was teasing him. It had to be something sentient, deliberate, the ocean wasn't that smart.
He was going to need to fortify himself with some sort of weapon before whatever that thing was got any ideas.
It was loud, sharp, shrill, and piercing, but thankfully distant. For now. His mind immediately went to shoring up his defenses. His miniscule feet scuttled against the ground, eyes already strained far greater than they ever had been by the sun, or the damningly plentiful shrill cries of gulls on the horizon, like little warped bendy lines. Nothing his size. Not even a toothpick.
Everything that had once been easily accessible was now out of reach, including his weapons and tools.
"NOOOOOOOOO! IT CAN'T BE! NOT MY SECRET WEAPON! WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE BEEN ON MY PERSON, WHY? CURSE YOUR LACK OF FORESIGHT...SLINGSHOT TECHNIQUE!"
His slingshot, which had once felt comfortable in his hand, was now far too large for him to hold. He tried everything. Yanking the base of the rubbery sling -- unless he wanted to serve as a lifelike cannonball of ammunition for his own weapon, was largely counterproductive and dangerous. The handle could only be handled if both hands were wrapped about it climbing up about it for what mediocre support he could muster at his size. And, at his size, it became painfully clear how few items were ideal for ammo.
In addition, the tiny pellets he had once used were now enormous in comparison to his new size. Roughly the sum size of his head in total. He envisioned in his head, briefly, recruiting
either Luffy or Sanji to help him piece together a solution for this mortifying little predicament of his -- quickly writing both options off in quick succession. At his size, he was liable to wind up chowed down on anything that Luffy emptily offered to share -- that would keep him undiscovered for hours, if not permanently. Sanji absolutely hated bugs with a fury only matched by Nami. He even considered picking his teeth for the necessary scraps to smother over the weapon, in the hopes it might somehow shrink with him. But alas. No. It wouldn't be. It couldn't be. He would have to forgo the slingshot.
"I must...give it...a proper burial. My slingshot...doomed to be used by...lesser talented hands. May as well be a death sentence for such an awesome and mighty weapon..." Yet the only sound to come would not be the accompanying choir of mourners in their lugubrious tears, but rather a thud of felt-rich confusion from Usopp, whose foot connected with his clothing for a sudden, immediate burst of temporary disorientation and astonishment. His entire body could fit, not just through the neck-hole, but through the sleeves along the side as well. Even his back-up sets of suspenders and long work jeans, worn hardily through and faintly scented with a sweaty days work were far too enormous to think of in terms of anything but shelter.
He would have had to climb up the fabric of his shirt, holding on for dear life, just to make it to the top. But that sounded like too much work. And forget about his pants - they were now like giant, towering mountains that he could never hope to conquer. A suicidal workload.
"I know...EXACTLY how to fix this...NAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! NAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! YOU WERE RIGHT NAMIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! SLACKING IS...BAD!!!!!!" He shouted. His tiny lungs sprained and strained by the sheer vocal intensity of overexertion. He had to grip his sides before the shuddering did him in. Even though the Minnu-Minnu fruit was rather filling, he found himself in repeated need of more and more food, his caloric intake greatly fastened proportionate to his little inefficient body. "This crazy metabolism sucks...this reach sucks...everything...sucks...someone...get me out of here...pleeeease..." Usopp begged. His searing frustration and overall feelings of isolation reached a boiling point when he realized that he was unable to even call out for help. He could be trapped in here. Forever. Try as he might, screaming and bargaining and shouting for someone to hear him, his tiny voice barely registered as a whisper. He was trapped, alone, and as indiscernible as a single grain of sand among a beach of obliviousness.
Thankfully, beaches still had hot women on them. Just like the ship.
Suddenly, abruptly, and a mana from heaven, Usopp once again heard the squeaking from earlier -- only to realize it was the squeaking of floorboards, and his heart leapt with hope. Maybe someone had heard him after all. "Nami! Sanji! Anyone?! YOUR HERO HAS ARRIVED...AND NEEDS A HERO HIMSELF!" he shouted, his voice weak and small, even if the confidence behind it blatantly contradicted it.
But to his dismay, the footsteps passed by without even slowing down.
Usopp's heart sank as he realized that no one had heard him. He slumped down onto the ground, feeling more alone than ever. Only for it to return.
And leave again.
And return.
And leave once more.
It seemed like...pacing.
Suddenly, the door opened.
"Oh. Good."
Nami remarked. Good? Good was good, right? Throwing his arms open wide, Usopp rushed to embrace the giantess approaching...only for her to pass right by him none-the-wiser. Her eyes were narrowed as if she were in genuine focus of something important. Her lips were tightly pursed and her eyes were aggrieved, focused in front of her and concentrating on a single point. That single point, small as it was, was still bigger than Usopp. And consequently. not Usopp.
"N...nami? Nami, look down! NAMI! NAMI, WATCH YOUR STEPS, NAMI!!! NAMI?!?!" He squealed and viciously swatted at his surroundings, gesturing every which way in an effort to try and attract attention -- no such result would be realized by his efforts. The sweaty specks of Nami's sandal-clad feet clapped against the ground, planking the sole-weathered base of her shoes. Usopp could feel his life flashing before his eyes; though, with a memory as spotty as his own, it was mostly limited to what was actively transpiring quite literally before his eyes : her feet clapped against the base of her sandals. The midsole bent either adjacent side with a wet, pliant tug that would've surely snatched him up and done away with him. The haunting sound of her enormous proportions clobbering about at the ground everywhere he stepped repeatedly reminded Usopp of his vulnerability. The inescapable fate he may have to face, should he be anymore inattentive than those overhead were. Being small brought with it a world of threats.
He still, nevertheless, felt whisked away as she got closer, even if the threat of his life ending neared with her.
He had almost been traveled somewhere else. The nagging scent of the warm, sandy ground in traced amounts, clung to her wiggling toes, and mixed with the salty ocean breeze, filling his nose with an intoxicating aroma. It felt like land. It smelled like land. It even looked like it, the way her sun-tanned soles were just barely preserved in duotone softness. He felt a sense of exploratory excitement and trepidation as he imagined what it would be like to be so close to
such a majestic being, close enough to touch. To think the giantess before him was formerly just another goofball screw-up like him...
As he gazed up, Usopp noticed the intricate details of Nami's sandals, with their thin straps and neatly woven texture. There HAD to be somewhere for him to latch onto...the rustling sound of what he could make out to be nothing more than the tiny grains of sand that had become stuck in the grooves of the soles, evidencing her travel. Little swathes of briny saltwater that spurred his attention forward. There was no hope. Usopp grew worried he'd never be spotted again, as she droned on about something indecipherably muttered overhead...
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhh...so...this is how I die...completely unnoticed...and of a broken heart."
Despite his despairing fear, Usopp couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for Nami. She was too pretty to pout about or around. He could see the determination and strength in her eyes as she looked out over the vast horizon -- just along the window, in case Usopp had abandoned ship, a reminder of just how small he truly was in comparison. She bent over the window, her perky rear and the little indent where her crack was all-too-obviously present along Nami as she slowly scuttled about, peering out the side of the ship. Even her words seemed to almost leap out to Usopp, calling for him.
"Usopp!" She screamed, softly. Obviously with seductive intent, even if she had no idea where Usopp was and made no effort to accomplish this effect deliberate. "You slacker!" She spoke, clearly infatuated. "Where are you off dozing about?! You're supposed to be guarding the...WHERE IS THE MINNU-MINNU FRUIT?! Don't tell me you already lost it, you little cheat! Ugh! Of all the pathetic..." Her words were too sweet, her voice too pretty, and her demeanor too scary for Usopp to listen any longer. The creaking of floorboards beat down against the bearing weights and varying indents near Usopp. He clasped his hands together, slowly meandering towards a body that casted a shadow looming and magnificent enough to engulf his entire body. He was equally excited and frightened at what might transpire if he were caught like this. But it hardly matters. The way her clothes stretched out along her skin seemed to take a much higher, much greater importance in his mind, summoning an air-bereft lung-evacuating sigh of a dreamy gasp at her shapeliness...her sizable shapeliness. And then...she turned around. All of her assets on plain, brazen display. His nostrils flared up with heat, as he puffed breath out of them.
Usopp was no serial pervert.
But there was something to be appreciated about the tight snag of her clothing around her breasts that left nothing to the imagination, especially from down here. Even the fabric of her bra and underwear was blatantly telegraphed at his newfound tiny size in a way that they had never quite been before today. It was mesmerizing. It inspired with it an indescribably plentiful bound of curiosity that could only be matched by the hollering, hammering sensation rushing in his chest and a tad bit lower.
Usopp had to think fast. Concoct a plan. Everything he devised thus far had backfired horribly or fallen short.
Rushing and blitzing towards his slingshot, he grabbed hold of the reins, testing if it would hold if he were to stretch it back. He propped the item up and began to tune into Nami -- whose arms were perched underneath her chest, perfectly advertising a nice, comfortable, heavenly little landing pad for him to perch himself onto if he were to make the jump right this very moment. Timing was paramount if he wanted to survive his ascent to marshmallow heaven, in all its inherent properties. Crossing himself and preparing for the worst, Usopp sighed, covertly murmuring to himself a swift, dorky "thanks for the mammaries, Namiiii!!! AYIEEEE!!!"
He launched prematurely.
"Wha...? Is that a bug?" Nami inquired in disgust. "IS THAT A REALLY BIG, SQUIRMY BUG...?! EW! THAT'S SO CREEPY, STOP! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER OR I'LL STOMP YOU! I'LL REALLY DO IT!" She fired off in absolute brazen annoyance and absolutely petrified disgust. Her hands began to clap at the air, falling just short of the projected trajectory, and just barely snagging at Usopp's foot, throwing his arc off kilter. He landed on one breast...and collided with it as it juggled and shook. Nami stopped for a moment, then squealed. She squealed, screamed, kicked, stomped, and swiped at herself every which way. She huffed and screamed and panicked, her eyes watery with the sudden trauma-induced teary streams that accompanied the revelation her worst nightmare was coming true. Usopp tried to interject, to soften the blow.
"Naaaami, waaaaait it's me!!!! I'm not a bugggggg! It's your pal, Usopp, to the rescue!!! MY rescue! As soon as you find me! Please do get around to that part, by the way, because if you don't do it fast enough, I may just have to run for my life, move it or lose it! IT'S MEEEE!!!! USSSSSSSSSSSSOP!!!" He buzzed, as virulently as he could manage ducking in between the volleys of her feet that smelled of everywhere on the deck she'd been for the last week and a half. She was stomping and stamping her foot fast enough for each dodged volley, and each intercepted volley, to be as harmless as the one before it with the stalled speed with which she administered her kicks. It was like meteors made of paper mache -- her feet were entirely harmless. And yet the threat remained, if Usopp didn't unstuck himself each time he bellowed out "IT'S ME, USOPP! I'M USOPP!!!! NAMI! STOP! STEPPING! ON! MEEEE!!!"
Somehow, that only made things worst.
Not worse, but, worst. The worst they feasibly could be and were.
The moment her eyes spotted better the vague movements of limbs in excess of two -- Usopp's scrambling in place and panicked frenzy accompanying the flailing of his arms -- she panicked even further. Her eyes widened as she huffed, and breathed, and started to go into hysterics. She could hardly keep herself standing, stumbling backwards and throwing one of her sandals
at him with all the tumbling force of whatever obstruction she could manage, kicking, and stumbling, and squealing the entire way through the shenanigan-rich fiasco.
"AAAAAAH!!! AN USOPP BUG! KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT! GET IT OFF!!! PLEASE, SOMEBODY!" The blow to the self-esteem, while detrimental, was somewhat fair, considering where he grasped. It took Nami a great deal of rolling about on the floor, clapping her breasts together and squishing them defensively, and eventually slowing as her hand clamped around Usopp and pushed him into the brushed together burlesque softness of her bosom to process what she said, and what she was holding. That only inspired a rage in her. She cupped her hand up and began squeezing, firmly, fiercely, pressuring her nipple straight into the face of the formerly smug and perverted Usopp to pressure out of him some degree of contrition, and finding none, squeals and whines.
Usopp opened his mouth to explain, but his tiny voice was barely audible. He was muffled. The anger inherent in Nami's voice as she began to scowled at him was indescribable. She didn't speak much more than a few words, as her straining grasp clutched along him and she pieced together her version of what had happened. "USOPP?!" She sought to confirm. He merely nodded, as her finger slowly condemned him by sliding against the back of his head, suffocatingly indenting him along her breast. She hadn't realized it. But she was concerned for his wellbeing. Now his wellbeing was of no concern to her, and if anything, could stand to be knocked a few pegs down to familiarize itself with what happens when her emotions are toyed with.
Usopp was stuck in this tiny body with no way to prove himself. Without thinking, he had reached for his slingshot, he had loaded himself as if tiny pellet and took aim at Nami's chest. Fired. And proved himself only a pervert, as the pellet that was his body flew, sapping him of strength. It would've been easier if Nami had let out a yelp of surprise and laughed it off.
Instead...
She pinched him up, squeezed him in her fist, and gritted her teeth. Her hand squeezed around the sides of the flummoxed Usopp hard enough to make him woozy and winded. His eyes struggled to keep open, flitting against the ensnaring might and strength of just a few lightly compressed fingertips balled up about him. She considered chucking him back on the ground. Instead, like a sword to a whetstone, he was mashed up against her foot, and ground in circles in aggrieved annoyance. Vindication at hand, and Usopp confined by her hand, she swiveled and swirled, forcing him along the arch and pinched about each toe.
"SEE IF THIS teaches you not to act like an inconsiderate insect around women, creep!" Nami practically boomed.
"I SAID I WAS SORRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!" Usopp pronounced, against the ringing in his ears from the earlier onslaught of sandal-clad smacks and repeated bombardments of stomps interspersed with thrown objects. It was a nonlethal attempt, obviously, or perhaps just hopeful,
as if Nami really wanted to crush the fellow Strawhat Pirate, she would not have to aim very high, or very carefully. But, in order to get his blood pumping and work her aggression out, she confirmed to herself that she would have had resort to whatever techniques were the most imminently destructive, and effective in channeling her anger towards something cathartic. Her massive frame and hulking meteoric impacts resembled some sort of sea monster -- Scylla or Charybdis of Hellenistic ancient recollection -- a likeness not entirely lost on Usopp who, stuck between a rock and a hard place, would be all too familiar with the uncompromising intensity of that age-old paradox.
"WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME, GROVELING?! IT WASN'T EVEN ON PURPOSE!" He technically fibbed. It's not as though Usopp were aiming for Nami's breasts when he fell down in size, but he didn't exactly make an effort to avoid them. It was either that, or taking his chances with the long fall towards the ground. He still wound up there nevertheless, only with the additional adversity of a rapidly clapping series of stomps and agitated Usopp-seaking soles to combat against. With the nigh-audible wrenching intensity of an ire-filled voice, Nami spoke in a warbling roar.
"DEATH IS THE ONLY SINCERITY I'LL ACCEPT FROM YOU, USSSSSOOOOP!!!!!" Nami squealed. The vibrations of her voice's distinct complaining timbre almost matched her stampeded stomping to a perfect degree of intimidating imposition. "I AM YOUR NAVIGATOR! THAT MEANS YOU ARE LITERALLY LOST WITHOUT ME!" She wasn't wrong. She continued her tyrannical tirade, stopping just shy of stomping her momentarily verticality-inverted crewmate, instead slamming her foot flat against the wooden surface of the deck hard enough to send a splintered upkick of shattered wood. "DO YOU NOT SEE HOW I HAVE A BIT OF A RIGHT TO BE PRETTY PISSED OFF? YOU COULD'VE LANDED ANYWHERE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? WHY MEEE?"
"Cuz we're both no-good low-down powerless losers! And I mean that with the tallest mountain of respect a mote like me can manage! Think about it! We need each other -- or -- at least -- I need you, and I think if we just put together what we've got, we can get a lot more than the lot we're getting now!!! Am I...making a lot of sense? At least think on it!"
"No."
It seemed Nami didn't have to think about it for very long.
Her body started to take over with the fury of a raging goddess, all the inherent agitation achieving largely what the passing notion of retaliation worked its way up as the devil on her shoulder, spurring her on. Were it visible, however, it would've been flicked away in aggrieved irritation, seeing as she needed no corrupting influence to behave badly.
She was angry, and acting on it.
An immediate snatch of a downwardly dragged set of fingers, with raptorlike precision, ensnared Usopp and crumbled him up into her palm, covetously concealed, and then flicked him into a strange, almost familiar set of tantalizing territories. Divided down the center was a long, long looking fall, smooshed together and smoothed over at the intersection by wildly groping hands and clenched together fingers that squeezed about the surrounding area with the intent to obscure every last bit of breathable air unobstructed by the encroachments of surrounding fleshy mass.
Her tits.
His grip on them was tentative at best, even with the dexterous mast-scaling pirate's proficiency for climbing. The cleavage ravine creeping below was made all the more staggeringly intimidating with his predicament, nigh-permanent in the humility that accompanied him throughout his span. He sucked air past his teeth and scrambled to keep himself positioned amply, but could only force out a yelp or two while his footing stalled, and his embarassing stature lacked in formidable fortification.
"NAMIIIIIIIIII!!!!!" He screamed, trying to make some sort of plea for mercy. "PLEASE, JUST HOLD STILL, LET'S TAKE THIS EASYYYYYY!" It was, perhaps, hypocritical to ask, if not inherently vain, selfish, uncalled for, and
Usopp's signature smile and usually unfettered demeanor were, to say the least, compromised. His feet dangled what had to have been countless miles in the air, repeatedly drumming against empty space in a bid to keep him from tumbling a nigh infinite distance downwards. His eyes were widened with what felt like an apprehension unrivaled, as the mildest crooning open of his mouth accompanied a harangued and deeply troubled squeal. The wind lambasted him for his predicament, and smaller than usual size, threatening to make off with him with every wild upwards whip of repeated bombardment.
"YOU REALLY WANT TO SINK THE THOUSAND SUNNY BY BLINDING THE NAVIGATOR?! USOPP! WHAT IF YOU HIT ME IN THE EYES? YOU COULD'VE TAKEN MY FACE OUT!" A harsh, piercing rallying cry of irritation. There was a brief flash of remorse in her wincing eyes, but Nami felt the urgency had to have been anticipated, and her objection a reasonable one.
And it was, a reasonable one. Although...
Not the objection Usopp was anticipating, nor was that a risk he considered. His lips pooling up, he made a trembling, sincere face. He hadn't considered a tiny projectile like him flying through the air might accidentally work against him. The seriousness of the situation had finally sobered him some, as he sunk and sulked along the outline of her tits, wrapping his arms around them for minimal support, while his legs went limp. Even the treasure trove's worth of happiness to be found in a woman's chest wouldn't uplift the pirate one touch at this major miscalculation.
"Heyyy..." Nami offered, as soothingly as she could manage. "Don't...don't sulk like that, Usopp. I think you and me both could stand to step back a bit and consider the risks involved in the things we do around here..."
"Hey, hey...don't take on blame just to make me feel better, Nami. This was my mistake. I downed the priceless fruit we were transporting, and...I almost clocked you in the face, too excited and clever for my own good..." Usopp bemoaned. Nami took a moment, composed herself, and sucked air in through her nostrils, choosing to ignore the 'clever for his own good' remark, and not offer anything smart mouthed in retaliation. Instead, she gently patted and stroked his back as her breathing lulled him forward and back...as she tossed something in the air. A fat, ripe, dripping fruit.
"Is...that...the Minnu-Minnu fruit...?!" Usopp asked in incredulity. A nod confirmed as much, from the jeering giantess. "But...I thought I ate that...did you...squeeze it out of me or something...AM I DEAD? Was I DISSECTED? Oh, Nami, say it ain't so!" Usopp playfully bawled, as his feet kicked against her chest hard enough to warrant pinching and subsequent removal. He sprawled out at her grip and felt himself vaulted into the air with a soft little swiveling grasp. The little kicks and juts and excitable input tickled Nami's nose the faintest bit.
"I thought ahead...what you ate...were the rinds of the Minnu-Minnu fruit. You didn't notice how hollow it was?" Nami asked. The cheeky giantess prodded the corner of her temple as if to try and trigger some sort of contemplative process in a head like Usopp's.
Admittedly, he hadn't.
Usopp had grinded his teeth along the food so fast he never really processed how empty it felt and tasted, just attributing it to a strange new experience. In addition, the shrinking that followed sort of jarred his head with an influx of emotions he couldn't quite place -- although most of them were grief at the unforeseen loss of all his belongings.
"I wasn't going to put you in charge of something I had any reason to suspect you'd screw up. If I thought you'd have trouble, I'd be right here with you, guarding it, like I suppose I'm gonna be now. I didn't expect it to still shrink you, and it looks like you're stuck like that at least for a bit. But if we sit tight, let the boat rock, and unwind...you should be back to normal. Eventually." Nami cooed. Her fingers intertwined and pinched around Usopp like he were a delicate cigar, brought up to her lips for a perching little kiss, commemorated with the distant speckles of a sunset.
"...That's a relief, at least." Usopp contended. The affirmation made his shoulders slump. He wasn't the sort to assume responsibility waywardly, much less at all. But nothing felt better than processing and accepting that he wouldn't be alone if he did. He tried to urge himself to confront this reality, to voice these words, but it seemed Nami was far more perceptive than he'd ever anticipated.
"I know you get a bit...you know." Her slender, delicate fingers traced over the top of his head, wiggled, then rose, a great deal of distance higher, trying to nonverbally indicate her meaning.
"Short tempered?"
"No."
"High...high pitched? High volume? Sh...shuu...short-sighted?" "Nuh-uh."
"Highhhhhhhhhhh....sssshhhhhhhort...........high short. Short high." Usopp tried reading Nami's increasingly amused expressions to piece together what he could feasibly be missing, only to be greeted with a splendid array of laughter. It was as if the weather itself were singing, the graceful giantess cradling him nestled in her palms carefully plucking him without the intent to permit harm along a single hair atop his head. A sense of happiness washed over the two of them as Nami finally cut in and put a premature, but perhaps welcome, end to their little back-and-fourth.
"In over your head. Even now, you're way WAY over your head...but, we're a crew. And more importantly, I think a really wise guy told me that we're apparently both no-good low-down powerless losers. All the more reason for us to stack on top of one another and be stupendous together..." Nami purred. Her eyes were half-lidded, inducing a daze of confusion in Usopp.
"Together."
"...too....gether."
"What are you not understanding about this, Usopp?"
The awkward series of blinks between the two betrayed a level of obliviousness from the lacklusterly perverted pirate who had shirked his usual M.O. He had to pause for a moment, before Nami yanked down her shirt on one side, and cocked a brow. When the understanding was still not quite breached, she fanned some sweat off her chest and sighed heftily, leaning in close enough for her breath to peter past Usopp and tickle him in an unfamiliar way.
"I'm offering..." Nami began, listless, but amused by his cluelessness. "To smuggle you in my shirt...for the remainder of your time as an itty bitty Usopp no bigger than one finger." That seemed to be the ticket. After a brief bout of contemplation and slowly dawning realization, he clicked his feet together, starting to dart about with midair kicks and repeated little gestures towards himself that communicated the tiny, orb-orbiting pirate had finally clued himself in.
"You...mean it?" Usopp posed the question of. It was fair enough an assertion given the irritation. Nami was just perved on rather heavily from his position, and, even if he'd been
perched on her chest for as long as he had - there was still the comradery with a fellow crewmate to prioritize. Not to mention the risk of being discovered, the incidental planning involved in the event someone got a little handsy and felt an unexpected passenger, what their friends might think if he ever came loose, countless factors and logistics spiraled out of control in Usopp's limited space left residing in his head -- only to be swallowed up in an instant with another kiss from Nami's dedicatedly patient and decisive lips.
"Relax. Usopp. I'm a navigator. Whatever you're thinking, I've already thought of it. So leave the thinking to me...and you think about whatever spot here on my chest is coziest until we figure out what to do with you." She affirmed. Her finger plucked and pinched back a particularly sweat-adhered sticky bit of plentiful chest, offering a swan dive of an entrance to any one interested Usopp patron. Wiggling his hips on either side, Usopp meandered closer, peering off the meniscus of the surrounding area and prepared himself for the plunge.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO?!" Usopp asked, before getting a faceful of cleavage clasped about either side of him from a speechlessly amused Nami, already readily prepping herself for much humoring to come.
Giantess World
Story Notes:
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Author's Chapter Notes:
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Chapter End Notes:
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