Rachel Bilson had dropped her daughter off with her ex boyfriend for a week, and decided to take a walk in the woods the next morning. She went to bed early, to get plenty of sleep, and awoke just before sunrise. Known for her love of elegant retro ladies fashion, she put on a long light brown skirt and a white T-shirt, and black round fronted closed toed shoes. She consistently outdressed every other female celebrity in the business, declining to wear unappealing short skirts and other forms of exhibitionism.

After breakfast, she drove to a favourite haunt of hers, and began walking through the woods. After half an hour, she heard a rustling noise to her left, and instinctively turned her head. She was sure, absolutely certain, that she saw a tiny man ducking behind a flower. She turned her body as well and stepped closer to the foliage.

To her further surprise, a tiny man actually stepped into view.

“It’s you, Rachel Bilson! I couldn’t see you properly from down here at first,” he said, “I was testing my size changing chemicals in these isolated woods. The shrinking formula worked, but the regrowth solution doesn’t seem to have had any effect. I’m actually quite a fan of yours. I’m sorry I tried to hide from you before I recognised you.”

“That’s alright. I’ve never swallowed a shrunken fan before. I’ll take you with me and have you for lunch.”

“Have me for lunch!”

“I won’t bite you. If you’re a fan of my mouth as well, there’ll be nothing to worry about.”

“Except my last stop in your tummy.”

“You’ll be giving me a treat I’ve never had before, never even imagined I could have before. I’m really very grateful.”

“It is traditional to ask first.”

“Well there aren’t really any traditional ways to eat someone. It’s a first.”

“But don’t you think you should ask?”

“Well I’m here, and you’re this new size, and it all seems fairly straightforward really. There’s a nice picnic spot on a hill about fifteen minutes walk further on from here. I should think you’ll be in my tummy in well under an hour.”

Rachel held him gently in her hand and continued walking until she reached the picnic location and sat down.

“This is not exactly the way I’d dreamt of meeting you.”

“No, I guess it isn’t.”

“I really have dreamed about it. I dreamt we were in a park somewhere, and I kissed you. Then you said, ‘These kisses aren’t just gestures. They mean something, don’t they? We’ll have to talk about it.’ Then we started dating.”

“It sounds nice,” she said and held him up to her eye, “I’m sure I would have, if you’d been my size when we met.”

She lowered him in front of her mouth.

“In the spirit of things being fairly straightforward…” he said, and kissed her lower lip.

She kissed back, and he made the most of his one and only opportunity.

Then without warning her tongue came out and swished from side to side against his cheeks and neck in turn. While he was still processing the mixture of ecstacy and apprehension, she opened her mouth wide and slid him into it.
There was nothing he could do, except wait until she drew him into her throat and swallowed him with carefree abandon.