The bed was comfortable, but Theo still didn’t get enough sleep.  Too much tossing and turning; too many images running through his mind.

Soon he found himself climbing a beanstalk, up and up, through the clouds.  He came upon a hatch and climbed through it, into the middle of a cottage where he found him standing inches behind a woman stirring a cauldron of stew.  The woman’s legs were like tree trunks, each taller than he was; every movement caused muscles to surge—muscles thicker and larger even than Lola’s.  The cauldron was so big, he could have fit inside it standing up; or laid down flat in it.  Except it boiled and bubbled to the brim.

The woman stopped; sniffed the air.  “WHAT’S THAT?” her deep voice boomed.  She turned around, her footsteps shaking the floor and deafening his ears.  “ANOTHER ADDITION FOR MY STEW???”

He froze; she looked and looked, left and right.  Her hair was golden; her eyes sharp, and cheekbones high.  Very much like Alice—but more.

And finally, she looked down…

“A HUMAN!”  Her voice rattled his bones.  “THE PERFECT TREAT!  YUM…YUM…YUM…YUM!!!”

On the last one, her giant hand swiped.  He screamed and tripped backward; and fell… fell…

Theo woke in a cold sweat, the mouse blanket thrown askew by his thrashing limbs.  He panted, calmed himself.

Sometime later, he wandered through a room with lavender blue and auburn and gold trim… like Jen’s room, but much larger and longer.  A massive hallway, which stretched for days.  And everything so big, so HUGE!  Tables, chairs, doors…

*Thoom KaThoom KaTHOOM!!*    “AND HERE WE ARE,” said Alice, in familiar jeans and leather blouse, sexy as all hell—but now TEN feet tall.  *KaTHOOM!* She took another step, in high-heeled shoe as long as his arm.  “WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

“A DELIGHT!” boomed woman number two, even TALLER than Alice and no less alluring.  Her short-cropped black hair and deep green eyes… wasn’t she on the show before?

They walked in tandem now.  *KaTHOOMTHOOM, THOOMKOOMTHaKOOMKOOM!*  Theo shot his arms out to balance himself, as the ground shook like an earthquake.

It drew the green-eyed woman’s eye.  “A MAN!” she exclaimed, her voice deafening his ears as her man-sized arm pointed.

“HARMLESS, THOUGH,” Alice said, with a cocky smile.

The green woman crouched and hovered.  “ARE YOU MY OPPONENT??” her voice blasted, paralyzing him.

“HE SURE IS!” said Alice, betraying him!

“WELL, I’D BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, THEN, SHOULDN’T I?”

No!  No!!!

His legs unfroze, and he sprinted to the left, the air rushing past his face as he ran like the wind!  But as he looked back, the woman was bigger now.  15—no, 20 feet tall!  She smiled and strode with lazy steps, calmly catching up even as he ran faster and faster…

He ran over unsteady ground, shaking with steady earthquake shocks.  *KATHOOM!!! KATHOOOM!!!*  When her hand descended in front of his gaze, it was as large as his body; her fingers the size of his limbs!  And stronger—so much stronger; and faster; as they snatched him and lifted him high, high, high!!!

She let go, and he fell, and screamed, and—

“Ow!”  His shoulder hurt like hell as his eyes popped open, finding his face plastered to the floor and his leg propped up awkwardly, still hanging on the bed.  He rolled to let his whole body fall to the ground, taking the disheveled blanket with him.

“Ugh…”  What a way to start his day.

He practically kept his eyes closed as he got dressed.  Better than looking at these walls!  Before long, he made his way groggily to the lounge, drawn by the smell of eggs and bacon.  He stopped when he heard Jen’s voice mingling with a stranger’s voice—a woman’s.  The terrifying ten-foot giantess played in his mind all over again…

He poked his head through the door and blinked in surprise.  The middle-aged woman next to Jen was certainly not small, but her features were soft, her smile warm and kindly.  Mid-length brown wavy hair framed a friendly face which bobbed and nodded cheerfully as she and Jen conversed.

“Oh, my dad’s up,” Jen chirped, wearing sneakers again, thank god.  But even her simple tank top struck him as almost too lewd.  She just kept getting curvier.  At least her bouncing chest was lower than eye level now, as she bounded athletically up to him.

Jen hesitated.  Yes, Dad was being a turd last night; yes, she had a right to speak up … but yelling at him maybe was a mistake.  “Um,” she whispered, “about last night, how I--”

“Huh?  It’s fine,” Dad replied, with surprising speed.

Really?  “You’re not mad abou—?”

“Mad?  Pfff.  You think I’m hung up on that?  We’ve got bigger things to focus on.”

She drew back, shocked.  “Oh.  Cool.”  He was taking this sooo much better than expected.  “Um … you should meet Mae; she’s hilarious.”

Theo held in his sigh until Jen turned away.  Mad?  Oh yes, he was furious.  And rattled from his dream, among other things.  But he had a trick up his sleeve; a plan for this morning’s show, to turn the whole damned thing on its head.  They wouldn’t even see it coming.  For now, though, he’d play the cool customer, just playing along.

His lips compressed only slightly as he approached Mae.  She looked roughly his age; fairly average height for a woman nowadays – about six feet tall – but still a full head higher than him in flats, and quite possibly double his weight.  Christ.  But with her frilly dress, glossy light red lipstick, and big earrings, she looked more like a stay-at-home mom than a fierce competitor; more likely to bake you cookies than pick a fight.

She set down her plate of breakfast and extended a meaty arm forward.  “Mae Everest.  So nice to meet you!”

“Theo Atwater.”  His hand disappeared into hers.  Thankfully she didn’t squeeze hard.

“Such a gosh-darn exciting day, isn’t it?”

He wrinkled his brow.  “It, uh … it gosh-darn is!” he quipped, with phony enthusiasm.

Mae smiled brightly, missing the sarcasm.  “You two seem like such sweeties!” she declared.  “Today’s going to be so much fun!”

Theo snorted softly.  “Yeah.  Oodles.”

A ruckus drew their attention across the room.  “Bobby, hon!” Mae called out, to what must’ve been her son noisily ramming the metal rods of the foosball table back and forth.  “Go easy on that, please!”

The rascally-looking Bobby didn’t stop.

“Tut.  Would you excuse me?”  Mae took off toward him.

Theo sensed Jen creep up beside him, and he tried not to tense.  “She brought her son?” he asked distastefully.

“Yeah.”

Ugh.  Couldn’t Mae have left him at home?  Or found someone to watch over him?  “But Mom, just one more minute!” his shrill voice called, already proving to be an irritating distraction while the rest of them had a very serious competition to prepare for!

Mae weathered Bobby’s tugs with evident ease as she escorted the unruly brat across the room.  “Behave yourself, Bobby.  Here’s two very special people I’d like you to meet: Jen, and her father Theo.”

“Whoa.”  The boy’s eyes didn’t even make it to Theo.  They turned up toward Jen and widened.  He sidled up to his mother, suddenly fidgeting.

“What is it, Bobby?”

“She’s reaaallllly pretty, Mom!” he said, in a loud whisper.

Mae bubbled in laughter.  Even Jen seemed tickled pink by the younger boy’s reaction.  Theo was the only one annoyed.

“Just shake her hand, you little goof,” quipped Mae.  The boy started to, but shirked back at the last second and gave a shy, skittish wave instead.  “Sorry,” said Mae with an apologetic eye roll.  “You’ll have to forgive him.”

“Heh, no sweat!” Jen laughed, still brimming in amusement.  “It’s kinda cute.”

“She thinks I’m cute?!” the kid gasped, as if this had rocked his little world.  With a short “Eep!” he shrank even farther behind his mother.

Irksomely, instead of dismissing her son, Mae dragged him forward.  “You’re forgetting someone, Bobby,” Mae prompted, nudging him toward Theo.

Bobby looked at Theo for the first time; and that’s when Theo really took note of his size …

“Wowww!” the boy blurted loudly, lighting up and suddenly approaching Theo of his own accord.  “Mom, you were right!”  He scampered up, until their noses were practically touching.  “I’m as tall as him!”

Or damned near close to it.  Theo’s spirits went into freefall.  If Bobby was as young as he seemed to be, then … Christ, this was embarrassing!

“Get back here, you little rascal,” Mae chided, hauling Bobby by the arm.  “Can’t you see you’ve offended the man?”

Theo coughed.  “… N-Not at all,” he lied.  But no one bought it.  They’d all seen his face.

“Shoo,” Mae told her son, after a brief silence.  “Go back to your foosball.”

Bobby’s face lit up.  “Can he play with me??”

WHAT?!

“Go, you little troublemaker!”  Mae briskly nudged him away.  “You can play alone.”

Bobby kept griping, and Theo’s cheeks kept feeling hotter – until Jen, of all people, came to his rescue.  “Um, hey Bobby, what if I played with you instead?”

Jen, helping him?  Defusing the situation?  …Her!?

Bobby gave an astonished squeak, and followed Jen to the table with big, wide eyes.

“Hope you’re not too offended,” Mae buzzed, sidling closer to Theo.

“Nope,” Theo diverted.  “So where’s your husband?”

“Husband?  Oh, I’m not married, sweetie.”

Theo grunted.  “Your brother, then.  Or friend.  Or …”  Did she really need him to spell it out?  “I don’t see your teammate here.  Who are you teaming with?”

“Pardon?”  The woman tilted her head, blinking perplexedly.  “With Bobby, of course.  I’m teaming up with Bobby.”

Theo’s jaw hit the floor.

* * *

Through the building, Theo stormed.  His face a thundercloud, his eyes crackling lightning.  Zipping past another hallway, he heard Alice’s voice ring out: “Whoa there, speed racer!”

He whirled.  “Just who I was looking for!  Y--”

Dear fucking hell.  Every outfit this woman wore made his mouth water.  “You need to … to …”  He adjusted his stifling collar as the sultry vixen approached in her well-unbuttoned work blouse and heels.  Only his rage kept him focused.  “You need to explain to me why I’m competing head-to-head against … against BOBBY!”

“Oh, so you met him!” her voice lilted with a pleasant hum.  “Hey, you look nice this morning, hon.”  She cheerily tugged on his sleeves.  “Did you sleep well?”

“Quit deflecting, dammit!  I thought Mae had just brought him along – I didn’t realize he in the damned show!!”

“I thought you’d be happy, dear.  Surely he’ll make an easy opponent?”

“Agh!  That’s my point!  How’m I supposed to impress anyone when I’m up against him!  I’ll be a laughingstock!”

Alice held her tongue -- barely.  Her boyfriend was about to don a Mouse suit on national TV, and he still expected people to take him seriously.  Sometimes his level of delusion still astounded her.

But there was a chance, albeit small, that he might quit the show over something like this.  “Look,” she said, resting a hand on his delightfully slim shoulder and doing her best to convince him.  “You’re overthinking this.  No one will even see your face once you’re in uniform.  They won’t see some normal man; they’ll see a hero.  A masked crusader.  Dauntless … daring ...”

Oh my god, he was actually buying it.  “They’ll still be impressed?” he asked with a note of hope.

A laugh almost snuck out of her.  Almost.  “Once they see what you can do?  Heck yes, they will.”

And he still believed it!  “Well … then … fine.  I’ll show them.”

“Good!”  Oh, this was really going to be something…

* * *

Theo squeezed his eyes shut.  “Masked crusader,” he repeated.  “Hero … Masked Crusader … ”

He opened his eyes again – and so badly wished he hadn’t.

As he shivered, the living, breathing Mouse-figure in the mirror shivered too.  As the whiskers on that ludicrous face wobbled, Theo could see the same whiskers wobbling beneath his eyes.  “H-Hero!” his voice squeaked, rising a half octave.  “I-I-I’m a—”

*Knock Knock* “It’s Alice again.  How we doin’ in there?”

Agh!  “F-Fine!!”

“Can I come i—”

“No!  Just a minute!” he yelped, his panic mounting.  “Hero,” he muttered again, the words sounding so hollow …

The door opened, despite his admonition!  “No!!” he yelped again, as his towering girlfriend ducked into the room.  A chortle escaped her lips as her face lit up with pure, unadulterated delight.

“Dammit, Alice!”  His hands shot to his face, then his body, then—What was even the point?  Even his hands were covered in spandex!  “I said wait a minute!”

“Do you really think a Mouse is allowed to give a woman orders?” she laughed.

“Th…!  That’s not funny!”

“Oh, it very much is.  But it’s almost nine, and we do need to—”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Her gaze smoldered, as her voice lowered.  “Do you need me to whip your little gray behind, for real? Hmm?”  She leaned closer.  “Don’t think I won’t do it.”

Theo choked.  She might not actually be pretending.  Too afraid to find out, he shuffled toward the doorway with a scandalized glare.  His covered feet lightly squeaked on his bedroom floor, his friggin’ foam tail wagging behind him—as a startling chorus of cheers accosted his ears.

“Wow!!  Yippee!!!”

“Theo, you look great!!”

His ego crumbled.  They were just trying to protect his feelings, right?  ‘Cuz… “Whoa.”  His eyes settled on Mae, who had radically and miraculously transformed from ditzy homemaker to … to … “Superwoman?” he croaked weakly.

“Super Mom!” Bobby corrected, throwing his arms around his mother’s bright blue, red, and gold covered torso, his eyes level with the iconic ‘S’ emblazoned across her wide chest.

“‘Super Mom’,” Mae rumbled.  “I like it!”  She even sounded larger-than-life now; or was that just Theo’s imagination?  Humoring her son, Mae flexed her arm and hoisted it upward, high enough at least for Bobby to tuck his legs and hang there for a second before gravity won out and pulled her arm down with him.  “Oof -- you’re too heavy, hon.”

“Not for long!”

Theo’s mouth had fallen agape without realizing it.  The gray spandex of the boy’s suit; the soft tail whipping to and fro; the Mickey Mouse ears; the quivering whiskers and shiny nose … all were identical to Theo’s.  Only the accent colors were different around their collars and thighs -- Theo’s a more burgundy red and lighter blue, his nose a darker gold.  But otherwise …

“See, Mom, he looks just like me!!”

Theo went weak at the knees.  He may have collapsed backward, if Alice’s hand hadn’t caught him from behind.  “So exciting, guys!!  Just waiting on—Ah, here she comes.”

The shiny knob across the hall turned.  The enormous door swung wide …

And an arm appeared, in gleaming silver and gold.

A leg, next: golden kneepad and toes; dark red greaves …

“Ho-o-oly…”

Theo’s throat clenched and alarm bells rang in Theo’s head, as above toned, bare thighs emerged dark blue tassets, a rugged burgundy-red corset, and more brilliant metal lining belt, bust, forehead, and arms.  His jaw fell open.

“Wonder Woman!!” Mae practically squealed, clapping her hands.

“SPECTACULAR!” Alice belted, over his head.

Jeeeesus freaking--!!  Of all the possible superheroines they could’ve chosen, they’d picked Wonder Woman!?!  The one heroine he'd had a major freaking crush on, ever since those movies had come out?  The one he’d fantasized about, a hundred times more than any other?!  There was just something about that actress; the outfit she wore; her impressive athleticism; the way she moved and the way she talked.  In retrospect, you’d think that would’ve tipped him off long ago, that deep down inside him he’d had a thing for strong, tall, confident females all along, what with the way those movies had stirred his loins and … and …

And other than the hair, Jen bore an almost freaky resemblance to that babe on the big screen.  From the metallic gleam of her outfit, to the shape of her body and tone of her limbs.  Even the assertive pose she struck, and the confident smile …

“Ohhh my god,” a voice uttered, loud enough for everyone to hear.  Only when all eyes turned to him, did he realize the voice had been his own.

 Oh hell … Oh hell …

“Theo?”

He looked up at his quizzical girlfriend.  “Uh …”  His heart pounded as his eyes flitted back across Jen’s blue and burgundy armor.  “It’s, uh … It’s …”  What to say??  “It looks … convincing.”

Dammit!!  Why’d he have to say that!?!

As Jen’s jaw dropped in surprise, Alice excitedly laughed.  “It abso-freaking-lutely does!  Suits her even better than I expected.”  She dropped an impressed, appreciative gaze to him.  “I’m frankly delighted that you agree.”

Theo’s cheeks grew even hotter, as Bobby again clapped his hands. “Wonder Woman!!” Bobby cheered, unable to contain his glee.  “She’s real-life Wonder—”

“Jen,” Theo harangued, as much to convince them as himself.  Not ‘Wonder Woman’.  “Jen," he repeated.

“Ooooh!” Mae exclaimed.  “That’s perfect, Theo: she’s Wonder Jen!”

“What?  No, just J—"

“I love it!” Alice chimed.  “’Wonder Jen’…”  She turned to his daughter.  “What do you think?”

The heighty teen looked down at her shining armor, then at Theo, and Alice.  “I … I think I love it!”

“It’s official!” Alice declared, with a big grin.

“Wonder Jen!!” Bobby cheered.  And Theo groaned.

* * *

“Quick photo op,” Alice announced, taking them into a green room and handing them over to a cheerful photographer behind a camera.  “Ladies, if you’d face each other?  Fists up … Look fierce … Yes, that’s it!”

Theo’s mouth hung open slightly without meaning to.  The pair of them honestly looked daunting; like prize fighters, ready for a bout.

“You too, Mice!  Right in front of them.  Same thing.”

Theo frowned.  No sooner had he stepped up next to Jen, than: “Rawr!” Bobby giddily raised his hands like claws, pointing them at Theo.  “Rawr!!  RAWR!!”

“That’s great, Bobby!”

“What, are we T-Rexes now?!” Theo spat, almost choking with embarrassment.

“Not with paws like that, you’re not,” hummed Alice.

Theo flew into a rage.  “They’re not paws!  They’re--”

*Flash*

“Ooh, perfect -- that looks so cute!”

“CUTE!?!  You--”

*Flash* 

“Hey!”  He glared at the photographer.  “I wasn’t ready yet.”

But as the photographer turned a questioning gaze to Alice, his girlfriend leaned in and grinned broadly at the camera screen.  “Oh, no, we’re keepin’ that.”

Huh?  “But—”

“Next pose, y’all!  Let’s keep this movin’.”

* * *

Jen was about to diiiiie with excitement.  Alice couldn’t possibly have picked a better outfit for her.  It even moved super well too, not restricting her in the slightest as she glided through the hall with long, energetic strides.  In this outfit, she felt like a badass times ten.

And oh my god, Dad’s outfit.  Oh … my … God.  She could see his frowns, even behind the mask.  She could hear his grunts, same as always.  But the amazing thing was: it didn’t put her on edge in the slightest.  Didn’t make her sweat or fret at all.  If anything, the costume made his grunts seem funny!

*Boom! … Boom! …* A repetitive, bassy rumble started faint but grew louder as they reached the dark corridors of the backstage.  “Wh… What is that?” Dad asked, frowning again, his ears bobbing each time his head darted around.  He was starting to look really nervous…

*Boom … daDoom … Boom … daDoom…*  The music began to fill out with synthesized trebles now … a bit of snare drum … and a low, steady hum that could only be the crowd.

“Fuck,” Jen heard Dad mutter as, down at the end of this final corridor, shifting lights came into view.  The noise of the crowd was amplified now into a loud hum, nearly drowned out by the heavy bass which thumped through Jen’s chest as wildly as her beating heart.

“This is it!” Alice yelled, having to shout to be heard.  “This is what you’ve been waiting for!!  Jen and Theo, you’re up first.  Head in, single file.  Are you ready!?!”

“Hell yeah!!” Jen belted, near the top of her lungs.  Holy fuck, she was ready!  Dad almost looked like he wanted to bail, but it was too late for that.  This was really happening!

Theo couldn’t even hear his teeth rattling as he stood there, just short of the flashing lights.  If there had been any other way to win his old size back, any at all, he’d have done that instead.  But, alas …

Once Alice spoke a quick word into her earpiece, the music faded to nothing, leaving only the expectant rustling of the crowd, and Theo holding his breath…

*Boom!  BaDoom DuhDuh Doom!*  Bass boomed and trumpets blared, as the Mighty and Mouse theme music took off at deafening volume.  Now lights flashed, even more brilliant and multicolored, strobing rapidly.

“LAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!” a woman’s voice bellowed over it all.  “Are you ready for the most exciting, action-packed game show in the world!?!?”

“BRING IT ON!!!” the audience boomed. 

Holy--!! Theo jumped.  The crowd was so freaking loud!

“Are you ready to be dazzled and amazed!?!” cheered the host.

“BRING IT ON!!!” belted the audience’s signature cheer.

“Are you prepared to see two superheroines-in-the-making, battling it out with the help of their trusty Mice!?!”

“BRING IT ON!!!”

“Then let’s meet our first contestants!!!”

The lights strobed and intensified, seeming to focus right in front of them.  The music built and intensified as Sally exclaimed, “Hailing from just two hours away, in lovely Palo Springs: give it up for Wonder Jen, and her sidekick Theo!!!”

SIDEKICK!?

“Go, go, go!!” Alice shouted, waving emphatically as the beat dropped and a new anthem blared.  Jen went forward first, fearlessly, while Theo remained glued in place.

“You got this!” Alice shouted in his ear, just before her heavy shove propelled him stumblingly into the blinding light.

He squinted and shielded his eyes—then yelped aloud.  “Holy crap!”  He expected a small studio audience.  But he found one if not two thousand spectators sitting nearly up to the rafters along the back wall of a massive studio arena.  The TV show never did justice to the size of the crowd and how cavernous this arena really was.  Even the stage, a raised circular platform, was freaking huge.  The words “MIGHTY & MOUSE” dominated the view behind, in big gold letters.  Above that, on a giant TV screen, one of the promo shots they’d just taken was already on display, showing a forty-foot-tall rendition of him wearing the most humiliating outfit imaginable.  For the whole freaking world to see.

Christ…

He’d lagged well behind Jen by now.  She was already ascending the steps to the central stage, where the game show host herself stood and waited.  Theo’s cheeks heated as he nervously broke into a half-run to catch up, the spotlights tracking his movements as well as hers.  For a second, he almost couldn’t recognize the burgundy-and-gold-clad figure ascending the steps ahead of him.  Under the dramatic spotlights, the metallic trim of Jen’s cuirass sparkled and dazzled; her legs and arms looked more toned than ever.  For a moment, it was hard to remember it was Jen.  She looked like Wonder Woman herself.

But it was the host who made his mouth drop open and his head jerk back, once he’d ascended to the stage.  Nearly Lola’s height, but wearing high heeled, thigh-high boots.  Towering in her flamboyant teal-blue suit and crazy purple Mohawk hair, looming so, so high.

She was looking right at him.  Grinning.  Like a hyena?  No.  More like a sabre-tooth tiger, who’d just found someone new to toy with.  Sally MacIntosh, the show’s host – she’d seemed so much less intimidating on TV.

By the time his eyes made the long journey down and up her body, he found that Sally’s smile had grown.  She brought her mic up to her lips, well higher than his head.  “Hello,” she quipped at him slyly, her eyes sparkling.

His heart raced as she lowered the mic toward his face.  But between the bright lights, the massive audience, and Sally’s predatory smile, no words came out.

Oh, how her eyes lit up!  “Quite a scamper you had going there,” she teased.  “In a rush, are you?”

Some men had struggled on stage in past episodes.  He’d thought they were just wimps.  But now he felt the pressure first-hand.  “N…No,” he managed.  “I…uh …”

“What’s wrong, little mouse?  Cat got your tongue?”

He jerked back; his eyes bulged.  The crowd roared—laughing, at him.  His cheeks burned red hot.  “I… I … My name is Theo,” was all he could think to say.

“It sure is!” said Sally, with a lighthearted wink.  “You’re a pretty tough guy, aren’t you?”

He had his arms crossed over his chest, as he leaned back and glared.  When he didn’t reply, Sally crossed her arms and leaned back too, squinting and scowling, mirroring him completely.  And the crowd ate it up.

“Hey!”

“Aww, I’m done teasing you for now.  I promise.”  Her hand went to the top of his bald-capped head and patted it before she turned to Jen and gave a long, slow whistle.  “And look who’s leading the team!”  Leading??  “My goodness -- are you a superhero in real life?”

The crowd cheered, while Jen shifted in her boots and blushed.  “Aw, c’mon, I’m just a girl in a costume,” she humbly protested.

“Oh, you seem rather more than that, Jen.”  Sally swept her arm across the stands.  “What do you say, folks?  Does she looks like she’s got what it takes?”

“YES!” the whole crowd seemed to cheer at once.

The crowd’s bias shocked him.  “She is just a girl in a costume!” he yelled, though his voice went unheard.  Ugh… he watched Jen’s smile grow by the second, blooming with confidence under the support of the crowd.  But her ego was already big enough!  “Don’t encourage her!” he belted, but again no one could hear.

“Now,” said Sally, to the camera, “I know what you’re thinking: a likeable, all-American young woman, and her shy but dedicated companion…”

Hey!

“You’re telling yourselves, ‘We’ve seen this all before, Sally!’  Well, folks, no you have not!  What if I told you these two aren’t just friends; nor neighbors; nor even siblings.  Jen and Theo … are daughter and father.”

All two thousand people in the crowd seemed to gasp at once.  Then astonished laughter broke out, exclamations, … and then roars of delight.  As if this were the most bewildering, fascinating, and hilarious thing they had ever heard.

“See?” boomed Sally.  “Told ya we were in for a show, today!”

What?  Why?  Father and daughter wasn’t thaaat weird … right??

“Let’s get to know our unconventional duo a little better, shall we?”  Her hand flourished toward the big screen above the stage, where a video began to play.

*Clang! Clang!*  A well-stacked barbell rose and fell in steady succession, at close range.  Soon the camera panned out to show Theo himself lying on the bench in his basement, his chest broad and his biceps flaring.

Holy smokes.  This must’ve been one of the shots from the start of their training.  And even two weeks ago, he had looked really impressive.  God, how things had changed.

“I’m Theo Atwater,” his own voice boomed, in the richer, deeper baritone it so recently used to be.  “Your next champion.  Athletic trainer, avid weightlifter.”

The audience gasped – and Theo too – as the scene cut to an old, old video of a local weightlifting competition, where a ring of onlookers pressed in around a massive hulk of a man, with bulging veins and explosive muscles, overhead lifting an amount which to Theo today would be wildly unthinkable!

Theo’s voiceover went on: “Six foot six and two hundred sixty pounds of pure muscle.”  Indeed, the man in the video was Theo himself, and the date was seven years ago, at the very peak of his prowess.  His heart leapt as the beast on screen hoisted the bar off the floor and the crowd around him went nuts.

Old photos graced the screen next, capturing Theo’s greatest athletic moments.  “All-state football player; winner of countless high school wrestling tournaments.  A fearless leader all my life; I was born to win.”

Back to the basement, with a shot of post-workout Theo gazing into the mirror.  “And while my size has diminished somewhat, I’m still the biggest, strongest guy around, and my competitive spirit has only grown stronger.  Failure is not an option; I’ll lead my team to victory at all costs.  You can count on that.”  The scene ended with his hands planted confidently on his hips and a resolute glare in his eyes.

Holy shit, that was incredible!  He felt a swell of his old confidence return.  But … wait … were those laughs he was hearing, in the audience?  Suddenly he became intensely aware of the mouse suit wrapped around his skin.

The music changed.  Now the screen showed Jen—shots from over her high school years and before, at Track and Field events.  She was like a high-energy pixie back then: short and reasonably skinny, with boundless energy and drive.  Jen’s voiceover talked of her love of athletics, her passion for running, her years on the team.

But the music took a somber turn.  “I grew taller, fast,” she said, as the scene changed to Jen from two weeks ago.  Good lord, she was skinny!!  Like a freaking popsicle!  Her spindly legs flailed as she jogged around the track at school, by herself.

“But my body couldn’t catch up.  I got picked on at school, at the mall, everywhere.  I was too weak to compete in Track anymore.“

Damn, but she did look a pitiful sight.

“Things were hard at home, too.  My dad and I don’t really get along.”

The scene cut to them in the basement on Day One of training, with the much burlier Theo comparing arms with her and smugly driving his elbow into her.  Next, they were standing with locked hands, Theo jostling and tossing her side to side like a ragdoll with a grin on his face.

The crowd murmured behind him, in clear disapproval.  “They’re misconstruing it!” he protested aloud.  They deliberately cut the scene to make him look bad!  “Why don’t you show her pushing me?  Or talking back like a brat!?”

Sally was standing closest to him.  If she heard him, she didn’t acknowledge it.

“He’s always tough on me,” Jen continued on screen.  “I can never seem to do anything right.”

Now a recording played of Theo throwing up his hands as Jen’s thin arms struggled with almost no weight.  “Come on, Jen!  It’s not that heavy!  We’ll never win at this rate!”

In the present, only Theo’s mouse cap kept him from pulling his hair out.  He wasn’t that mean to Jen … was he?

The screen faded.  Then ‘Week 2’ flashed on screen, and a healthier, sturdier Jen was shown strapping weightlifting gloves to her hands, staring determinedly at the chalkboard.  As Jen spoke, the camera panned a close-up over her steadily improving numbers each day.  “It’s alright,” a deeper, firmer version of her voice said, as more hopeful music played.  “I’m working hard; making myself better and better.  Dad challenged me to a lifting competition today.  I think I can win.  Or at least, he’ll see how far I’ve come, and he’ll be nicer to me.”

Real-life Theo turned to Jen in rage.  This was a smear campaign beyond compare – and Jen had helped fan the flames!  But her eyes stayed locked on the screen, her jaw clenched.  What … she couldn’t actually believe he was such a monster as this!?

Now highlights of their pitched battle in the weightroom played out.  Dramatic music, as Theo narrowly won and gloated mercilessly.  This is baaaaad.  Oh Christ.

The footage transitioned again; and he didn’t even need to recognize her outfit, or see the chalkboard, to know this was shot yesterday.  You could see more than enough proof in her healthy arms, toned abs, and very noticeable chest.

She did chest-curls on screen, an intense look of determination on her face, while a recorded voiceover of Jen played: “Never quit working; never give up.  No matter what they say, just keep fighting.  Control your own destiny.”

The screen faded to black.  As silence filled the air, Theo’s heart pounded and his fury soared.  Then some in the crowd began to applaud, and it caught on like wildfire, until the sound of their approval washed over the stage like a tidal wave as the lights flooded back on.  “Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you WONDER JEN!” Sally exclaimed—and the cheers became a full-out roar.

“And her teammate: not just any normal sidekick, but her own father, Theo!”

The crowd’s timbre instantly changed.  Some scattered applause—and plenty of boos, directed straight at him.

“I know, folks, I know,” Sally commiserated, sweeping her hand down to his much smaller form.  “But even the most stubborn and bullheaded of men are capable of change!  What do you say: shall we give him a chance?”

The crowd started to come around, but that only made him more ticked off.  “I don’t need to ‘change’!” he yelled, too far to be picked up by the mic, but loud enough to catch Sally’s ear.  “You didn’t show it how it really is!!”  He began jumping and gesticulating in anger—and the audience booed louder.

“I gotta say, folks, this is one of the most intriguing pairs we’ve ever had!” said Sally, paying him little heed.  “Now, who would be the perfect foil to a daughter-father team?  Another classic mother-son duo, of course!  Hailing from the heartland of America, I give you Mae Everest as the mighty heroine Super Mom, and her eager sidekick Bobby!”

Theo was not done with this!  “Hey, I’m serious!” he shouted, getting right up in Sally’s face…or more like, the underside of her chest.  “I’ll set this straight, dammit -- give me the mic!!”

Sally reared up and raised her hands in surrender.  “Oooh… I think this Mouse has bite!”

The audience stopped booing—and laughed!

“Not funny!!” he barked, losing all cool and reaching up for the mic…

Sally boxed him out with her elbow and shot a quick glance behind her—and a wave.  That very instant, a darkly-costumed figure sprinted toward the stage.

He hardly knew what he was seeing.  Anything moving that fast couldn’t possibly …

… be … that … BIG!!

“Jeees--Oof!!” By the time the shape vaulted onto the stage, it was already too late. 

An arm as big and hard as a concrete beam slammed across Theo’s torso, and the rest was a blur.  The ground tore away beneath him and the stage zipped away as his vision danced with stars.

“The Panther strikes again!” Sally cheered flippantly, as his legs whipped against tree-trunk thighs and his head buffeted against a deltoid harder than marble.  He didn’t even get another yell off before the impossibly wide forearm finally fell away, dropping him unceremoniously just off-stage behind the curtains.

He scrambled to his feet quickly … and regretted it.  One look at the towering woman before him sent a shiver down his spine.  He could hardly comprehend how truly massive she was.  Cords of muscle ran up her enormous legs, widening into broad hips and giving way to a muscle-packed torso.  Breasts hovered higher than his eyes.  Shoulders wide enough to sit on, and arms that looked big enough to crush metal.  All of her, head to toe, was wrapped in spandex in the nearly-black purple of a panther.

His mouth went dry when his head finally tilted far enough back to see the masked face above him.  The rounded cat-like ears.  The black lips, and uncanny green eyes.  The Panthers were a staple of the show, watching from the sidelines or escorting contestants at need.  Always with a dead-stoic demeanor that had seemed silly on TV.  But now, the unflinching gaze bearing down on him, from eyes that seemed to almost literally glow from their own freaky light … It was freaking ominous.

And that was before her larger-than-life hand swept forward and clamped onto his shoulder, like a goddamned steel vice.  “Hey!”  Startled, Theo jerked his torso.  His shoulder didn’t budge, as if it were welded into place.  He tried again.  “Jesus, lady, let me go!”

By rights, she should have done so immediately.  But after a brief, detached glance at his struggles, she merely rotated her body and watched the stage.  Christ … she had him trapped here like a prisoner!!

Sally had moved on, chatting away with Mae and Bobby.  Where was Jen?

“Let me go!” he tried again, twisting even harder.  Cripes!  He pried at her purple-clad thumb, then her index finger … geez, it was like bending a chunk of metal, but he got the tip of her finger off his collarbone, and – Shit, his grip slipped.  “Lady!” he hissed, returning to his squirms which were becoming increasingly frenetic, as the woman simply rolled her eyes …

“Dad?”  Oh hell.  As Mae and Bobby took the stage, Jen had headed right for him.  A burgundy breastplate shot into view; shining silver arms waving in front of him in distress.  “Are you OK??”

She’d seen all his futile struggles!  He cringed and tried to stand still.  “I … I …”

“Of course he’s OK,” the Panther said in a voice like gravel, as she stood like a stone.

Panic overtook him again.  Another wrench of his arm, but it still didn’t budge!  “D… Do something!” he blurted at Jen irrationally, nervously.

But Jen’s eyes were stuck on the Panther.  She was an absolute giant, looming head and shoulders above Jen.  Her rippling quads seemed twice as big around as Jen’s, or more.  Her biceps swelled like cannonballs.  Dad looked unbelievably small next to this woman; but Jen wasn’t laughing.  She felt pretty damned tiny herself.

“Don’t just stand there,” Dad yipped, twisting again.  “Help!”

“How??” Jen felt dizzy just looking up at the woman, who stood as motionless as a statue, paying them no mind as her eerie green eyes remained fixed on the stage.  “Miss…?  Would you mind, umm …?”

No response.

Jen cleared her throat, then foolishly reached for the huge purple-clad arm …

All the Panther had to do was flinch, and Jen leapt back like a frightened sheep.  A loud, barking laugh emanated from the woman as her eyes descended to Jen.  “Here,” she grated, roughly pulling Dad forward, making him stumble!  “Hold him, if you want.”

Jen balked.  “What?  No, just let him go!”

An amused snort.  “And let the Mouse run free?”

“’Run free’!?” Dad gasped.  “I’m a grown man!”

The Panther responded by returning him to her side.  Jen swore she saw a tiny smirk on the huge lady’s lips as Dad tried yet again to break free.

At least Jen didn’t have to decide what next.  “Give it up once more for Super Mom and little Bobby!” Sally declared onstage, where the heartwarming video of Mae’s and Bobby’s life had just wrapped up.  “A loving mother, and an adorable son,” Sally went on.  “Folks, aren’t they just the sweetest?”  The crowd’s response, if a bit less raucous, was still unanimously, enthusiastically positive.

On some wordless cue, the Panther marched forward, sweeping past Jen to deposit Dad at the base of the stairs, then lingering with hands on her hips to ensure he climbed up.  Jen felt goosebumps as she trailed after him, seeing him stumble on the first step, watching his eyes dart back anxiously over his shoulder.  Did Jen feel bad for him, or maybe a little bit vindicated?  She couldn’t decide.

The pair of them stepped under the lights, next to Sally and opposite their opponents.  “Super Mom!” hyped the hostess, as the music picked up.  “Your special mother-son bond is your team’s greatest strength. Will you be victorious!?”

“We will, Sally!!” Mae exuberantly replied, scooping an arm around her son and holding him tight, with Bobby giving a toothy smile.  “We’re two peas in a pod; we’ve got a connection that can’t be beat!  We’re sure to win!!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, do you agree?”

The crowd certainly seemed to, yes.

“Wonder Jen!”  Sally cut through, slinging her arm across Jen’s shoulders.  “Will your bite-sized father’s full-sized ego get in the way?  Or will Team Wonder Jen pull it together, against all odds?”

Now under his own power again, Dad’s fury returned in force.  As Jen coughed in surprise, Dad swiped at the mic.  Was he nuts!?  “D-Don’t count us out!” Jen belted, hastily planting herself between Dad and the mic before he got himself carried offstage again!  “We’re getting along a lot better now.  We—”

*Oomph* In clear contradiction to her words, her dad rammed her in the back, trying to get by!  “Hey!” Pandemonium ensued as the two of them jockeyed for position, right there onstage.

“Wowweee!” Sally called, pulling the mic clear as the crowd roiled in shock.  “It’s a real barnburner, folks!  HERE WE GOOOO!!”  She flourished again as the stage lit up.

“TWO TEAMS,” the screen displayed, in ten-foot letters.

“ONE VICTOR”

…

“THIS!” the audience bellowed, in time with the words.

“IS!”

“MIGHTY!  AND!  MOUSE!!!”