Agent Smith lit a cigarette, passing the lighter to Agent Smith as the two of them regarded the woman they’d be questioning today. Smith was neither man’s real name, while the woman they’d be speaking to today was allegedly a hero, nobody with the feds trusted anyone from the costume set. They worked together of course, a world of superpowers and mad geniuses necessitated it, but it wasn’t exactly a secret that the world’s governments and the members of the Hero League both wished they didn’t need the other.

“Ultra Woman,” Smith drawled, pulling up her dossier, “We’ve called you here today to-“

“Asked me,” The blonde woman in the blue suit and cape said, arms crossed, “You ASKED me here.”

“Of course,” Agent smith said with a lopsided grin, “We just wanted to ask you some things about one of your regular villains, Maisie Grande, also known as Impossible Woman.”

“We’re also interested in her new accomplice,” The other Agent Smith cut in, “Impossible Boy.”

“He really prefers Impossible Man,” Ultra Woman remarked.

“Of course,” Agent smith said in a patronizing tone, “What can you tell us about him?”

Ultra Woman shrugged, “He and Maisie seem to make each other happy. I fought the two of them last night and they do this adorable thing now where one starts an insult and the other finishes it.”

“We don’t like his influence on her,” Smith said suddenly, “and we don’t like it when villains begin to recruit.”

“Those two are harmless,” She said, waving dismissively, “they’re fun!”

“At minimum we must demand you stop fraternizing with them,” Smith snapped, “We can make things very difficult for you if you don’t agree.” The agent gave her a ghoulish smile, “For example, we know you used to operate as the smuggling vigilante known as Moonshine.”

“Oh man,” Ultra Woman laughed, “Moonshine? Good times! Tell me what you know!”

“We could very easily have your father arrested,” Agent Smith snapped. “Bootlegging is still a crime.”

Ultra Woman rolled her eyes, “Head up the holler with everything you have, you’ll need at bare minimum a National Guard response to even give Daddy pause.” She smirked, “And if you DO go full hog on him, maybe Moonshine returns from her fifteen-year hiatus?”

“Listen here,” Other Smith said grimly, “Do you think you’ll enjoy your current popularity if we release videos of you drinking, swearing?”

She stared at them a moment, then laughed.

“I’ve got my own PR people,” she chuckled, “And my biggest roadblock to further growth is my family friendly image.” She shrugged, “Estimates are that if I suddenly appealed to an edgier set, I’d have at minimum a ten percent market share boost. Release your videos, you’ll make me a few million by the time they hit the evening news.”

“If your reputation won’t sway you,” One of the agents sneered, “Perhaps we could pay our OWN visit to the Impossible Duo?”

Ultra Woman raised an eyebrow, then giggled, finally giving in to a maniac laugh that would be more at home in the League of Evil or the Alliance of Evildoers. She pounded the desk as she laughed, causing huge pits in the steel desk and flinching reactions from the government agents.

“Okay,” Ultra Woman said, collecting herself, “I never thought I’d be giving The Talk to the feds, but here it is. Play nice with me, play nice with my friends, and I’ll play nice with you.”

“Excuse me?” Smith two asked.

“We all want to go home at the end of the day,” the Blue Bombshell said with that award winning smile, “Don’t fuck with me, my daddy, or my friends, even the supervillains.”

“Are you threatening us?” Smith two asked.

“Here’s the closest thing you’ll get to a threat,” Ultra Woman said angrily, “If you two ‘expose’ me… Well, I’ve been told many times that I would do GREAT in politics, every political party in my district has asked me if I’d take their nomination.”

“So?” Smith One asked hesitantly.

“Imagine what a gal like me could do in congress?” She grinned, “the white house? Imagine little old me making decisions and demanding audits of all your secret agencies, could be fun.” She shrugged, “Of course I hate politics, dirty business, so let’s just call that a hypothetical.”

“W-Why do you care so much about those two?” Smith asked weakly.

Ultra Woman stood up and smiled, “It’s a messed-up world, heroes, villains, they’ve all gone down a darker path these days. Impossible Woman has an innocence you don’t really see anymore, I guess it reminds me of my own ideals from back when I started doing this, and there are days when you REALLY need that reminder. I think something in me would die if anything ever happened to her.” Ultra Woman’s eyes flashed red a moment, “So let’s make sure that nothing ever does.”

There was a blur, and then both men clasped hands over their ears as a crash rang out and dust filled the air. Shakily they looked up, seeing the Ultra-Woman shaped hole in the side of the building. Sunlight poured in and birdsong filled the dimly lit office as the two agents shared a worried glance.

…

Maisie, The Impossible Woman, squirmed in the back of the police car. A wave of pleasure shot up her spine as she bit her lower lip, making sure she wouldn’t cry out excitedly.

“Hey,” the female police officer said, looking in the rear-view mirror, “What’s up with her?”

“J-Just itchy,” Maisie said, fighting down a moan, “these cuffs are so- Oh god- ITCHY!”

“Well, they’re staying on,” a brunette officer snapped back at her, “Those power nullification cuffs make you just another perp, and once we get you down to booking you’re someone else’s problem.”

“N-No problem!” Maisie said, fighting not to fall over in the seat.

Sam couldn’t hear any of her conversation with the officers, surrounded by the warm wet confines of his partner in crime’s pussy. He grinned to himself as he increased his size, letting his miniaturized body fill her cavity.

He took a moment to enjoy where he was, cradled softly, lovingly, by Maisie’s slick and soft walls. As the silky juices ran over him and the sweet smell of his lover overwhelmed him he couldn’t help but breathe it in. The small movement seemed to awaken the walls around him, and his entire body was gripped sharply as he heard her take in a breath overhead.

He felt himself being moved further in, as though he was being drawn towards her center. He sighed and let himself be pulled, summoned, to where her body wanted him to be. With each movement he heard a heartbeat flutter, and the walls around him grew tighter as she crossed her legs.

…

“Please remove your gloves for fingerprinting,” a bored looking officer told Maisie.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Maisie muttered, fighting not to fall to her knees. Seeing the officer’s confused expression, she gulped and shakily stood back up, “I uh… just love fingerprinting, best part of booking!”

…

Sam was in her depths now, a helpless passenger of her lust. Sealed off from the world there was only Maisie, her smell, her movements, her heartbeat. The rumbles of pleasure every time he moved. Reaching down he began to touch himself through his suit, the wet slickness of the fleshy walls surrounding him permeating his senses.

He started moving, rocking his body back and forth. He was rewarded with the quaking and quivering of his prison, and he increased his thrashing, hoping to drive Maisie to the brink of orgasm.

…

“You’ll never get out of here Impossible Woman,” a guard sneered as the door slammed shut, “We saw you smash the power nullifier gloves on the sink last time, so we’ve got a nice padded cell for you! There’s nothing in there hard enough to break them.”

“Ohhh,” Maisie moaned, falling over onto the cot, “Oh… oh come on…”

“That’s right,” the guard said, enjoying her moans of frustration, “You’re trapped!” with that he closed the steel door and the eye slot, leaving her alone.

Maisie writhed on the bed, enjoying the feeling of her tiny lover as he moved inside her most intimate areas. She almost screamed in frustration as she realized the power nullification cuffs were completely sealed, she wouldn’t be able to touch herself and finish quicker. She felt another jolt of pleasure and turned her head into the pillow to stop a sound she knew would bring the guard back… maybe she could live without her hands for this one.

…

Sam could feel the quivering around him and hear the rumbling of muscle as her heartbeat picked up. He grinned and readied himself for the finale. With a roar he thrust his entire body against her, rocking and thrashing with as much strength as he could muster at this size. She came with a growl that he could hear even in her depths, and the wet dripping became a torrent as her orgasm moved him like a flood. The rocking and movement of the slick wet walls against his own body was enough to bring him over the edge too, and for a moment the tiny man enjoyed the blissful sensation of his goddess bringing the world down around him.

As the world returned to normal, he sighed happily, slowly working his way out of the slick tunnel. His feet met the fabric of Maisie’s panties, and shrinking himself slightly for more maneuverability he worked his way out into her underwear. There still wasn’t any light to speak of, but as he climbed up and out the dim fluorescent lighting of what he guessed was the jail could be seen softly through the fabric of Impossible Woman’s costume.

Slowly he worked his way up her body, taking a moment to pause as he crawled between the house sized breasts on either side of him. He grinned as he slid between the sweaty globes, being crushed between them was one of the best parts of being able to shrink yourself, a desire Maisie frequently let him indulge in.

Finally, he reached the neck of the costume, and pressing against her skin he popped his head out. Slipping out of her clothes he landed on the bed. The giant face of Maisie, the Impossible Woman, turned to face him with a dreamy grin.

“Hey lover,” she said, “Thanks for the conjugal visit.”

“Anytime,” he laughed, looking around the cell, “so where is this, county jail?”

“City lockup,” She corrected, “No x-ray bodyscanners or anything, just a metal detector.”

“Huh,” he mused, “Do you think I’d have shown up… in there?”

Maisie shrugged, “Who knows, I guess we’ll probably find out someday.” She wrinkled her nose, “You smell like pussy little man. That’s going to take FOREVER to wash out of that outfit.”

“Worth it,” he said with a grin, slowly returning to his full size.  “So, what happened with Ultra Woman?”

“Oh, she got the paintings back, gave me a speech about how evil never prevails for the cameras, same old same old. I told her you ran for the car and escaped.”

“Next time she’s probably going to X-Ray you to see if I’m on your person,” he laughed as he started fiddling with the cuffs. “Is there a trick to these?”

“They’re lowest bidder,” Maisie said, “I usually just smash them on a wall or something, but…” she gestured around at the white padding on the walls.

“Okay,” Sam said, “let me try something.”

He leapt into the air, shrinking as he did so. In an arc he landed on top of Maisie’s cuffs, shrinking himself further he spotted a small crease where two parts were fastened together. Finally when he was the size of a grain of sand he was able to fit between them. With a grunt he grew himself as fast as he could, and was rewarded when the force of his size change snapped something and the cuffs quickly fell to pieces.

“Hell yeah!” Maisie crowed, “Now the world will once again fear the MIGHT of the IMPOSSIBLE WOMAN!”

Without warning she began to increase her size, kneeling down as she passed the eight foot mark, and quickly closing the empty space in the cell. Sam shrank himself to avoid her as she grunted, her body hitting the walls. Crouched over, she was as big as she was likely going to be able to get in the enclosed space. Pulling back her fist she slammed it against the cell door, denting it outwards. With another grunt she punched at it again, this time the door went flying off the hinges. There was shouting outside, and almost instantly an alarm sounded.

Maisie grinned and returned to her normal size, briefly glancing up at Sam for one of the rare moments in their relationship where he got to stand over her. He hugged her shoulder and nodded, letting himself shrink again, slowly drifting downward until he was small enough for her to bend over and pick him up.

“Try to stay in the boobs on the way home,” She said with a grin. She pulled her outfit away from her neck and let him tumble down into the sweaty confines of her bra. Satisfied that her shrunken boyfriend and partner was protected, she brazenly walked into the open air of the jail, growing bigger as she went.

For Sam it was always an experience, watching jiggling masses on either side of him stretch away, trapping him further and further in the sweaty valley of her cleavage. He let himself shrink slightly, enjoying the feeling of being enveloped and protected.

Maisie gave her best evil laugh as the guards began firing on her, she knew from experience that once she got over twelve feet she was more or less bulletproof, and by the time anyone had thought to shoot she stood well over twenty. She confidently walked through the hail of gunfire to the far wall, putting her shoulder into it as she knocked the brickwork apart and exposed the hall to the night air.

…

“That was fun,” Maisie said, stripping her costume off and collapsing onto the couch. Freed from the oppressive confines of her costume Sam leapt from her breasts, growing as he made contact with the floor. With a sigh he reached back and unzipped his own costume, stepping out of it and flopping on the couch next to her.

Their latest hideout was another house on the edge of town like his old one. Maisie always managed to rent them under her real name somehow, usually month to month. Idly he wondered how many other prospective landlords had received threats that their property would be stomped into matchsticks if they didn’t sign a lease.

“So,” Maisie said, stretching and putting an arm around him. “I’m thinking we rest up a few days, then we steal something… big.”

“What’s our financial situation like?” he asked, “Maybe we should pull a moneymaker?”

“Nah,” Maisie said, waving, “I haven’t stolen the world’s biggest of something in like six months, it used to be my whole thing.”

“Maybe we could steal the world’s smallest of something?” He asked, “You know, that could be my thing.”

“The smallest whatevers usually aren’t on display,” Maisie said thoughtfully, “but I like this energy.”

From inside the kitchen Sam heard his cell phone ringing, the two of them never took their phones on jobs. With a sigh he got up, fighting the tired feeling in his legs and trudging his way to the table.

“Hello,” he said, answering it. His face paled, “Uh, yeah, hi!” Maisie sat up, eyeing him intently, “Sure, I can come… Yeah I’ll bring her… Love you too.” He hung up the phone and sighed.

“Who’s that?” Maisie asked.

“My mom,” he muttered, “She wants me to come to the county fair with her and dad this weekend.” He looked at her, “They want to meet my new girlfriend.”

“It’s got to be a trap!” Maisie said excitedly leaping up, “The Hero League is hoping to lure us out-“

“They don’t know,” He said quietly.

Maisie stopped, “W-What?”

“I mean…” he sighed, “They know about YOU, well they know I’m dating someone, but they don’t know I’ve made a little… career change.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Maisie mused, “You haven’t been officially busted yet, you probably don’t even have a most wanted page!”

“No,” he chuckled, “I don’t.”

“Well,” Maisie said hesitantly, “Maybe it’s time to… tell them?”

“I don’t know how they’re going to react,” he said, “finding out their son is a criminal…”

“Supervillain Sam,” she corrected, “it’s a storied and noble profession!”

“I don’t think they’ll see it like that,” he muttered, “They’re very straight-laced people.” He brightened, “I would like you to meet them though, what do you say?”

Maisie thought a moment, “Okay,” she agreed, “But… you’ve got to tell them the truth at some point, you know?”

…

Sam had rented them a less conspicuous car for the weekend. As much as he loved the Impossible Mobile, and he’d had to spend a great amount of time reassuring Maisie that he did LOVE it, it wasn’t how he wanted to roll back into his hometown just yet.

“Quiet Oaks is basically just a suburb built over some old farmland,” he explained to Maisie as they turned off the highway, “Not a bad place to live, but it’s not that interesting. If it wasn’t for the farmers still holding the county fair every year, I don’t think anything would ever happen here.”

Maisie shrugged, “Hey, don’t sweat it, it’s the hometown of one of the world’s greatest supervillains! The Impossible Boy!”

“Man!” he laughed as they drove by a series of strip malls.

…

The Black Swan screamed in fury as she landed another dozen blows on her hanging gym bag. Flipping backwards she threw a series of bladed swanarangs at plywood targets hung on the other side of the garage. She nodded in satisfaction as she saw they’d each landed right on the human shaped silhouette’s heads.

She sighed, pulling off her black cowl. The garage in her parent’s house wasn’t air conditioned, but neither were the mean streets of Quiet Oaks. She drank from a nearby plastic water bottle, then poured some over her face, the water plastering her short black hair to her tanned face. Gasping at the icy cold she stepped around her customized swan cycle and gazed out a small window by her dad’s old work bench.

“Look at them,” she muttered, watching the children frolic and play in the brightly lit suburban streets, “so blissfully unaware of the scourge of crime!” She clenched her fist and pounded the wall, “Someday, the storm’s gonna come, and I’ll be the one keeping these streets from becoming awash with-“

“AVA!” her mom shouted, “Don’t hit the wall! We’ve talked about this!”

“I’m sorry if my training for the war on crime is disturbing your reruns MOTHER!” she shouted angrily.

She walked over to her crime map, a printout of the entire city of fifteen thousand, with red pins in it for every crime in the last month, both of them shined in the glow from the dangling lightbulb.

“It’s been quiet,” she growled.

The truth was that it was always quiet in Quiet Oaks, she’d captured and ended the careers of the few legitimate criminals the small town had in her first weeks of operation. Since then, she’d mostly been riding the Swan Cycle around at night and trying to catch teenagers before they could spraypaint things, getting cats out of trees…

“Something big is brewing,” she said in a low voice, “I can feel it… a big time villain is bound to attack this town soon or later.”

“AVA!” her mom shouted.

“WHAT!?” she shouted back, broken out of her reverie.

“I just talked to your friend Sam’s mother, he’s coming in to town to visit his parents. You should go say hello!”

…

“Here we are,” Sam said, stepping out of the rented Sedan. He gestured to the plain looking two story house, one of many identical models on the plain suburban street.

“Sam!” a woman’s voice called. The two of them turned to see a short, tanned woman with dark hair and a tomboyish haircut running towards them from next door.

“Hey!” Sam said, waving, “Maisie, this is my old neighbor Ava, we used to hang out after school sometimes, this is girlfriend Maisie!”

“Charmed,” Maisie said with a smile.

“Likewise!” Ava said, “I’m glad this nerd finally found someone who could stand him!” She blushed a moment, “So, Delta City, that’s got to be crazy! All those superheroes, supervillains? You two must have some great stories!”

“Oh?” Maisie said, her eyes lighting up, “You’d like to hear some stories?”

“Uh Maisie,” Sam said quietly.

“Then we would have to start with Delta City’s most terrifying, most diabolical SUPERVILLAIN!”

“Oh wow,” Ava breathed excitedly, “You mean-“

“That’s right,” Maisie cackled, “You might say Sam and I got a front row seat to watch Ultra Woman battle her nefarious and hauntingly beautiful nemesis-“

“You saw her fight Lexi Lathor?” Ava asked, practically bouncing.

“What!?” Maisie cried indignantly.

“Yeah,” Sam said, cutting her off, “We saw her fight Lexi Lathor once, right Maisie?”

“Yeah,” Maisie muttered angrily, “Lexi Lathor…”

“Well,” Ava said nonchalantly, “We’ve kind of got our own superhero now.”

“Oh?” Maisie asked, suddenly interested.

“Yeah,” Ava said, “Black Swan, she’s really hardcore, cleaned up these streets, you know?”

Sam looked around at the peaceful suburb, “How much cleaning did they need?”

“Hey!” Ava said a bit defensively, “They’re cleaner now!”

“So she’s like, a bird-woman?” Maisie asked.

“No!” Ava said, “she uses martial arts and gadgets and stuff to-“

“Oh,” Maisie said dismissively, “One of THOSE.”

“What do you mean one of those?” Ava asked indignantly.

“Well a superhero should be… Super, don’t you think?” Maisie asked with a shrug.

Ava’s face went red, and for a moment Sam worried she was about to shout something, but the moment was saved when Sam’s mother came out to greet him.

…

“So,” Sam’s dad said, passing a plate of pork chops, “Maisie, is it? How did you and Sam meet?”

“Work,” he said quickly.

“Oh?” His mom asked, “Are you in insurance too?”

“Acquisitions,” Maisie said, fighting a giggle. “I helped Sam get set up in… acquisitions.”

“You’re not with the agency anymore?” His dad asked, a bit surprised.

“Uh,” He gulped, “No, I had a career change recently to… acquisitions.”

“As long as you’re happy I suppose,” His dad said, “I mean it’s honest work, right?”

“Y-Yeah,” Sam said with a weak smile.

“Still,” his dad said, reaching for the potatoes, “I want you to take it easy for a while, new job, new girlfriend? You don’t want to make too many changes at once, I don’t want you burning out like that girl next door. It’s nice knowing my son has a nice office job and a place in the city.”

“Sure,” he muttered,

“So Maisie,” his mom asked, “Are you going to come with us to the county fair tomorrow?”

“It’s going to be a good one this year!” his dad said, “the mayor is having the world’s largest kettle brought in-“

There was a clang as Maisie dropped her fork, “W-World’s largest-“

“Kettle,” Sam’s dad finished, “They’re talking about using it to make the largest ever batch of kettle corn, isn’t that exciting?”

“Oh it’s going to be an exciting fair all right,” Maisie said with a widening grin, “the most exciting one of all time!” She started cackling madly.

“Maisie uh, really likes fairs,” Sam said, his face red.

“Who doesn’t?” Sam’s dad laughed cheerfully, joining Maisie’s diabolical cackling. “I like this one Sam! If she gets this worked up over kettle corn, why I think she’s our kind of people!”

…

Although Sam’s parents had offered him his old room, he’d rented a hotel nearby. Like everything else in Quiet Oaks it was a national chain, and the hotel room was the same unremarkable arrangement of furniture found from New York to Los Angeles. As his girlfriend kicked off her shoes and undressed to her underwear he steeled himself for a difficult conversation.

“Maisie,” Sam said, “PLEASE don’t steal the world’s largest kettle.”

“What?” she asked, shocked, “I thought you’d be excited about this? It’s exactly the kind of thing we’ve been looking for!”

“Yeah but…” He tried to think of what to say, “It’s my hometown, everyone I know is here and-“

“Then you should want to do it even more!” Maisie protested, “Show them the terrifying and powerful villain you’ve become!”

“I…” he sighed.

“You’re not… embarrassed of me, are you?” She asked quietly.

“Never,” he said, coming close to hug her. Seeing her expression he bit his lip, “Can we at least agree to steal it AFTER the fair? I know you want it, honestly I kind of want it too, but if I’m a villain AND I ruin the county fair that might be too much for mom and dad.”

“Oh Sam!” She giggled, “Fine, it’s a deal.”

He felt his feet leave the ground as she grew, holding him close to her chest. He was hugged into her rapidly expanding chest as she became an amazon, stopping just as her head tapped the ceiling of the hotel room.

“Damn,” she muttered, “These rooms have such low ceilings… I can barely get big enough to smother my boyfriend with my boobs.” She set him down, letting herself get slightly smaller, a few inches between the top of her head and the popcorn ceiling. A massive hand clutched his shoulder, “Down boy,” she said with a grin.

“Yes ma’am,” he said eagerly, shrinking his body as she pushed down on his shoulder. He stopped when he was eye level with her crotch, and looked up at her expectantly, but she grinned and shook her head.

“Lower,” she whispered. He gulped and shrank a bit lower, down to her knee. “Still too big,” she murmured, “Get TINY for me Sam, I may not be able to get as big as I’d like in here, but you’re still going to make me feel like a goddess.” She paused a moment, “Oh, and DON’T shrink the clothes with you.”

He watched as the room expanded, he went down past her ankle, stopping at maybe four inches tall. As she’d asked he let his clothes remain at their larger size, watching as they lifted away from him and began to collapse, leaving him in a dark puddle. It didn’t last long, a pair of giant hands curled around his shirt, underwear, and pants, lifting them away from him like they were massive blankets. Maisie examined them a moment, glancing down at her tiny boyfriend, before tossing them over her shoulder and onto the bed.

“Small enough?” he shouted up.

She crossed her arms and shook her head. Lazily she pointed a single finger downward. Following her instruction, he kept going, until he was face to face with her socked foot. The towering goddess grinned and reached down to peel the sock off, tossing it lazily across the room. The smell washed over him like a wave, and she laughed at the quick grimace of his expression.

“This is where a real villain like me belongs,” she mused, gently guiding her big toe forward to tap him, knocking him over, “towering over the world. You’re lucky Sam, most people have to wait until I unveil my latest sinister scheme to get to look up at me like this, you get it whenever you want.”

She struck a pose, puffing her chest out and giving him a wicked grin. With a villainous laugh she pinned him under her toe, the soft skin pressing the sour odor of her feet into him as she slowly ground him into the carpet.

“Truly no one can stand against the might of Impossible Woman!” she said. Her hand drifted down as she teased him, fingers slipping under the waistline of her panties. She began playing with her clit, letting a few fingers slide into her wet opening.

“BEG FOR MERCY!” She cackled, pressing him harder.

“P-Please have mercy Impossible Woman!” he begged, trying hard to keep a grin off his face. The smell was overwhelming his senses, her big toe alone overwhelming his entire body as she brought her weight down on him.

“What’s that I feel poking my toe?” She teased, “Does this get you going Sam? Is Impossible Boy so in love with the great Impossible Woman that even her big toe is enough woman for him?” She leaned down, her hair draping around her face and framing her radiant smile, “Does it smell GOOD Sam? I was wearing those socks ALL day, and I’m not sure the air conditioning in that rental works…”

Very gently the giant woman began moving her toe back and forth, Sam groaned and squirmed against it, gripping the sides with both hands. He felt truly powerless, so at Maisie’s mercy that she’d easily bring him off with such miniscule movements if she wanted.

“Truly this sad display of submission is a testament to the amazing beauty and power of Impossible Woman,” Maisie mocked, “a strong, handsome, and muscular man, trying desperately not to cum himself under my titanic toes.” She grinned a final time, “and the best part? You never stood a chance.” She scrunched her toe against him one last time and he shouted as he climaxed, inhaling the stale musty air of her feet and letting his vision be overwhelmed by the cackling goddess overhead.

He was still panting and trying to recover as she lifted her foot off him. Lifting it up she smirked at the tiny wet spot on the bottom of her toe, before grabbing her discarded sock and wiping it away. With a spring in her step, she hummed as she tossed her suitcase on the bed.

“You’re amazing,” Sam whispered, growing back to his normal height and collapsing on the bed.

“Impossible,” she corrected with a grin.

He sat up with a frown as he realized she was pulling her costume out of the suitcase, “Maisie,” he said, “I thought you agreed not to-“

“I’m just going to go check it out!” she protested, “Your dad said something about the kettle being brought in by rail, we’ll just pop down to the trainyard and maybe get a look at it. Maybe I won’t even WANT to steal it!”

“And why would you need to bring your costume for that?” he asked in an amused tone.

“What if I run into trouble?” she asked, “I’d need to turn into Impossible Woman!”

“Trouble?” Sam laughed, “In Quiet Oaks?” He stood up and stretched, “I guess there’s not much else to do here but watch cable anyways, toss me my costume.”

“Uhh, maybe you should shower first,” Maisie said, “you smell like feet.”

…

Black Swan surveyed the mean streets of downtown Quiet Oaks from her perch atop TGI Fridays. There was just the right amount of wind to make her cape flutter behind her as she brooded.

“Sam,” she muttered to herself. Seeing him again had brought back some feelings she’d hoped to bury, and him with a new girlfriend just made them worse. They’d been thick as thieves all through high school, but when he left for college, she’d left to travel the world, mastering martial arts in a dozen countries.

“We could never be together Sam,” she practiced in a gravelly voice, “If my enemies ever found out, they could use you to get to me…” or at least that’s what she’d say when she had some more formidable enemies.

With a sigh she did a running leap off the side of the brightly lit chain restaurant, landing perfectly on her Swan Cycle. Starting it with a roar she rocketed off into the night, her cape trailing behind her.

…

Maisie and Sam wore trenchcoats and fedoras over their costumes as they walked through the railyard. Maisie insisted that the disguises were “classics,” but Sam was just glad nobody was around. The getups were almost worse for avoiding attention than their actual supersuits.

“There it is!” Maisie said, pointing eagerly to a large flatbed train car. Strapped down on it was a massive black iron cooking kettle, lid fastened tightly over it. “Oh Sam,” she said wistfully, “It’s beautiful! I could shrink it down and keep it as a memento of our trip!”

“You want to steal the world’s largest kettle, and then shrink it down?” Sam asked, fighting a laugh.

“We could grow it back for like, special occasions,” Maisie said. “I’m pretty sure Ultra Woman won’t let us keep it if she knows we have it.”

“Hey!” someone shouted. The two of them turned to see four men, all of them also wearing trenchcoats and fedoras. “The boss said we should expect another pair of hands, that you?”

“Not likely,” another gruff voice called. The two of them looked down the other side of the trainyard to see another pair of men, similarly dressed, walking towards them. “The Boss said there would be four waiting for the two of us!”

“So, who do we have here?” The lead man said, growling at the two of them and cracking his knuckles.

Maisie and Sam exchanged looks.

…

Ava stopped her motorcycle in front of the trainyard. It was part of her regular patrol route, nothing ever happened there of course, or almost anywhere else in town, but it seemed like a likely trouble spot if trouble reared its ugly head. She was about to head out to the abandoned canning plant when she heard shouting.

Then gunfire!

Her heart leapt in her chest, she skidded the bike to a stop and leapt off it into the trainyard. With a series of leaps she easily cleared her way onto the top of a steel railcar, peering around and hoping to get a look at the shooter.

Her eyes went wide as a yellow woman in spandex seemed to rise up a few rows of trains in front of her, stopping when she stood fifty feet tall and towering over the trainyard.

“You boys just made a BIG mistake!” she boomed.

“A supervillain,” Ava breathed eagerly, “The Impossible Woman!” She practically squealed with delight, then forced herself to focus. Leaping from railcar to railcar she easily closed the distance between herself and the supervillain.  Peering down she saw six men in trenchcoats, all of them holding guns or knives.

She took a moment to calculate her avenue of approach, frowning as she saw a yellow suited man grappling with one of the men in trenchcoats. To her amazement he blinked out of existence, then seemed to spring up out of the ground behind his attacker. That had to be Impossible Boy, Impossible Woman’s new lackey. What was this? A dispute between henchmen perhaps? No matter, they’d all face justice!

She unhooked a smoke grenade from her belt and tossed it down onto them. As they cried out in surprise, she leapt off the traincar and dived into the cloud, her hands flashing like lightning as she expertly disarmed and delivered a beating to each man.

Maisie looked down and blinked in confusion at the smoke. Taking a deep breath, she blew as hard as she could, easily scattering the white cloud and exposing the six groaning and now beaten men, Sam, and a black costumed woman with a long flowing cape.

“Let’s split!” one of the men shouted, the six of them stumbled to their feet and ran, the three in costumes watching them go.

“Looks like your henchmen got the message,” The newcomer growled, looking up at Impossible Woman’s towering visage, “Now, are you two coming quietly?”

“What!?” Maisie shouted, “Who do you think you are to stand before the mighty Impossible Duo and demand we come quietly?”

“THE BLACK SWAN!” Ava shouted, a shiver went up her spine, she could already tell this woman was going to be a lifelong nemesis. In her minds eye she saw them grappling in a burning, collapsing volcano lair, or maybe a space station!

Before either of the villains could react, she leapt and did a spinning kick, aiming for the smaller of the Impossible Duo. She scowled as he shrank out of the way, enlarging back to his full size as she landed and pirouetted back to him.

“Come here pest!” Impossible Woman shouted, her open hand coming down to grab the vigilante. With a cartwheel she easily leapt through the gap in Maisie’s fingers. Before the gigantic woman could react Black Swan leapt onto her hand, sprinting up her extended arm.

“Let’s see how you like Swan Eggs!” she shouted, throwing a series of oval shaped objects at Maisie’s face.

Maisie’s eyes went wide and she tried to shield herself, but it was too late. Black Swan expertly leapt off her, landing on a nearby railcar as a series of explosions made contact with the enormous woman’s face. Maisie tilted backwards, crushing a steel traincar under her immense as she fell, rubbing her forehead.

“Were those just grenades?” She moaned, “not much of a gadget.”

“I painted them black!” Ava said excitedly. She heard something clamber onto the railcar behind her, and summersaulted forward to dodge a punch from the Impossible Man.

“What are you two here for?” She growled, circling the red clad villain. “Drugs? Weapons? What’s in this train that you two are after?”

“The world’s largest Kettle!” Sam said, tilting his head and laughing madly. He really did love these villain outings with Maisie, the ridiculous boasts, the puns, it gave him a high he hadn’t ever felt before meeting her.

“The Kettle?” Ava asked weakly. She clenched her fists, “You two are insane!”

“Not insane,” Maisie grinned.

“Impossible,” Sam finished, striking a pose as he readied for her next attack.

“Ha!” Black Swan, said in her gravelliest voice, “What’s impossible is the two of you escaping!”

“Oh I like her!” Maisie said excitedly. She reached for the black clad phantom again, growling with frustration as the small woman easily darted out of the way each time. “Hold still!”

The three of them turned their heads to the sound of police sirens, “You win this round, hero!” Maisie said, starting to shrink back down to her normal size, “but we’ll get that kettle!”

“You’ll never…” she sighed, “Get that kettle! I’ll be on it until it leaves town!”

“Then we will meet again!” Maisie laughed ominously. “Come Impossible Man!”

“Oh no you don’t,” Ava said, pulling another grenade from her belt.

Sam grimaced. Maisie wasn’t particularly durable at her normal size, and since they’d come on foot she’d need to get out of the trainyard as a relatively normal woman. There was no way Maisie was evading or fighting this Black Swan character at her normal size. He on the other hand… well, it was easy to flee a scene when you could be tiny.

“Impossible Woman!” he shouted, “Go! I’ll hold her off. We’ll meet back at the uh, lair.”

“Please,” Black Swan said, eyeing him up, “Your whole thing is you get small.” She threw a punch and he easily shrank out of the way. With a growl she tried a spinning kick, but with each successive blow Sam easily shrank out of the way, sometimes leaping in the air as he did so.

“Ultra Woman can punch faster than the speed of sound,” he bragged, “and I can dodge her like a pro! You’ve got no chance.” While that was true Sam also knew that Ultra Woman would probably never actually try to hit him or Maisie at Mach 1. Still, it made for a great boast.

“You’re not fighting Ultra Woman today, Impossible Boy!” Ava sneered.

“Man,” he corrected, but he was cut off with a yelp as a trio of sharpened swanarangs hurtled towards him.

She rushed forward, lighting quick blows that it took all of his concentration to avoid. With liquid grace she was hurtling things from her belt at him too, swanarangs, bolos, caltrops. He barely managed to shrink under them, but before he could grow back an enormous black boot was overhead.

*SQUISH*

Ava breathed a sigh of relief, the offensive had put her out of breath. Standing up fully she kept her full weight on the flattened supervillain, looking around to see if there was any sign of his giant-sized partner. Satisfied that she was alone she gingerly lifted her boot off Impossible Man and grimaced.

He was flattened pretty good, but there wasn’t any blood or gore that she could see, it was almost like he was a piece of gum. Her heart skipped a beat for a moment as she wondered if she’d killed him. While not a member she read the Hero League’s blogs and newsletter religiously. She wasn’t particularly familiar with the Impossible Duo, but most size changing heroes and villains couldn’t be killed by stepping on them… or so she thought.

She almost breathed a sigh of relief when the inches tall man groaned as his body began to reassert it’s shape. Feeling a bit better about the situation she quickly stepped on him again, the clack of her boots against the top of the railcar reverberating as the police sirens got closer.

“You’re too dangerous to leave with the police,” she mused, “this town doesn’t even have power nullifier cuffs…” She looked down at her utility belt and wondered how much force his growth ability carried with it. The belt pouches were either cloth or plastic…

Suddenly her face lit up as she had an idea. Quickly she took off her boot, feeling the night air hit her foot. Hooking a finger around her sock she pulled it off, grimacing at the smell and the way it stuck to her. Most of her gear served some kind of protective function, her socks and gloves in particular were woven from a supposedly bulletproof fabric and made custom by a merchant who specialized in gear for “low power” superheroes such as herself.

She lifted her boot, standing slightly lopsided in one bare foot as she scooped the recovering man’s tiny form up. Gently she dumped him into the waiting sock, quickly tying the top of it before he realized what was going on.

Sam blinked as the world came back into focus, the last thing he remembered was the quick pain, like a slap over his entire body, as Black Swan had stepped on him. Suddenly the smell hit him, and he almost gagged as the odor of the woman’s sock enveloped him. He looked around and with a sigh started to grow, intending to bust his way out. Something was wrong though, even as he flexed and tried to grow against the fibers they held. He tried shrinking small enough to slip out of it, but whatever this was it was too tightly knit for him to pull it off.

Ava watched the bottom of the sock contort in and out as the size changing villain tried to use his powers to escape the tied sock. She fought down a sadistic giggle as they realized together that he couldn’t escape.

“Now let’s go do some questioning!” she laughed, clipping the tied sock to her belt. She leapt off the railcar and sprinted for her Swancycle. This had been the best night of her life, she’d fought supervillains and their henchmen, and now she even had a prisoner!

As Sam was jostled by her movement he sighed and thought over his options. This girl was definitely an amateur, Ultra Woman would have NEVER missed the opportunity to make a “de-feet” pun if she’d trapped him in a sock…

…

Miss Meltdown chewed on the end of the glowing plutonium rod, a facsimile of a cigar that gave her a buzz she couldn’t quite identify. Ever since the nuclear plant accident all those years ago the jokes about her radioactive personality had taken on a more literal bent. As the mobsters stood in front of her in radiation suits, she sighed and placed the plutonium rod in a nearby ashtray.

“Explain to me,” she said, her bright yellow eyes flashing in contrast to her green skin, “Exactly why you don’t have my experimental fission battery?”

“It’s not our fault boss!” the lead man said, “Our contact hid it in this big kettle that the rubes were shipping around for county fairs, but there must’ve been a leak because there was someone there waiting for us!”

“Who?” Meltdown snapped. Her skin took on a deeper green as she got angrier, almost glowing as she forced herself to remain calm.

“It was Impossible Woman,” the man explained, “That goofy villain from Delta City, had her new guy with her, Impossible Boy I think he said his name was.”

“And there was a chick in black too!” another mobster cut in, “One of those ninja types, threw down a smoke bomb and kicked all our asses!”

Miss Meltdown steepled her fingers and mulled the information over. She’d long suspected that Impossible Woman’s antics were a façade for a more sinister and cleverer villainous persona, there was simply no way that a woman with that kind of power who regularly battled Ultra Woman was just some dumbass stealing tourist traps. Now she was recruiting, this new sidekick, and now a ninja? No, Impossible Woman was making moves.

“Gather everyone you’ve got,” she snarled, “And everyone THEY’VE got! Machine guns, rockets, grenades! I want a goddamn army!” The desk began to smolder where her skin touched it, and she grinned, “Don’t worry boys, mama’s gonna lead the charge this time. If Impossible Woman wants a villain war, we’ll give her one! Once I get that battery not even Ultra Woman will be able to stop me, let alone her D-lister bad guys.”

She laughed, causing the hardened gangsters to back away uncomfortably.

“Quiet Oaks is going to look like Three Mile Island by the time we’re done!”

…

Ultra Woman lounged happily on the beach. She’d considered buying a private one, but it seemed kind of pointless when she could always just grab a drink and fly herself to a secluded patch of sand and surf whenever she wanted. Night was the perfect time for it, just gazing at the stars while she listened to songs by dead country singers.

The lazy crooning about the difficulties in keeping the family land were interrupted as her phone alerted her of an incoming call. She rolled her eyes as she saw “hidden number,” while plenty of people had Belle Dixon’s phone number, she could count on one hand the number of people that had Ultra Woman’s, why bother hiding the origin?

“Yeah,” she snapped, answering the call.

“You said she was harmless,” Smith’s voice growled. “Your pet supervillain is up to something big.”

Ultra Woman frowned and sat up in her beach chair, “What’s going on?”

“An experimental fission battery was stolen last night,” Smith said, “in the right hands? Free energy for half the country. In the wrong hands? It’ll irradiate half the state. We’ve tracked it to a town called Quiet Oaks, guess who else is there?”

“Maisie and Sam?” Ultra Woman asked, stunned. “It’s got to be a mistake, a misunderstanding!”

“It’s not,” Smith said sternly, “We can’t get an appropriate team out there in time, we wouldn’t be talking to you at all if not for the potential for loss of life.”

“I’m on it,” she said, hanging up the phone. With a sigh she poured the rest of her drink into the sand. Picking up her phone she thumbed off her playlist of relaxing folk and country music and selected another, full of aggressive hip hop and heavy metal that would have done far more to harm her family friendly image than any amount of leaked footage of her swearing.

“You better have a good fucking explanation for this Maisie,” she muttered. In a split second she was gone, a cloud of sand erupting from where she’d been standing moments before as a blue blur rocketed into the night sky.

…

Sam tumbled out of the giant sock, blinking at the bright light overhead. He stumbled to his feet, coughing and thankful for the fresh air after what felt like at least an hour trapped in the vigilante’s rancid footwear. He stumbled forward, hoping to get an idea of where he was.

“I wouldn’t try getting bigger,” a gravely female voice called from overhead. In the edge of the cone of light he saw the masked face of Black Swan. “You’re on a carefully calibrated pressure pad, one single ounce more weight on it and a one-ton anvil drops on you, you step off it? A one-ton anvil drops on you, now let’s chat.”

He squinted, looking up and hoping to see the trap, but the light was bright and the room was dark, he couldn’t see anything it didn’t illuminate. There was a tracker in his suit, when he didn’t come back to the hotel, he was confident Maisie would come searching for him. Until then he just had to deal with Black Swan.

“Tell me where the drugs are!” she snarled. A giant gloved hand reached into the cone of light, and a massive finger flicked out, hitting him in the chest and knocking him over.

“There are no drugs!” he protested. He did his best supervillain dramatic pose, one hand in front of him, “We are here for the world’s largest kettle, surely the world’s GREATEST villains deserve the world’s greatest kettle?”

“A lie!” the hero snapped, “Six guys with guns wouldn’t help you steal a novelty item!”

“Those weren’t ours,” he said, “I guess they wanted it too?” He had a sudden realization, in a new life full of random mooks with guns and fistfights, he hadn’t realized how odd it was to see six of them in his own sleepy hometown. Maybe there really were drugs? Or guns?

Suddenly the room filled with light. Sam’s eyes went wide when he realized he was on a workbench in a garage, there was no carefully calibrated trap overhead, just Black Swan holding a brick. What was more alarming was that he recognized this garage, he’d spent enough time coming over here to find-

“AVA!” her mom snapped, “it’s getting late! Keep it down in here, I’m trying to watch the CW.”

“MOM!” she exploded, “Get out of here, I’m questioning my nemesis!”

Her mom just rolled her eyes, walked over to the fridge for a soda, and then left without another word. Slowly Ava turned her head back to the amused Impossible Man, still a handful of inches tall and standing on her dad’s old workbench.

“So,” he chuckled, “A carefully calibrated pressure pad huh?”

She glanced at the brick, “The Swan’s Nest is uh… undergoing renovations.” Her eyes lit up, “And that woman was an actor I hired to lure you into a false sense of security, soon your mind will fray and you’ll tell me everything as your very grip on reality-“

“Ava!” he shouted, trying to keep from laughing, “Come on! That’s your mom, this is your house on east Sanderson boulevard.”

Ava blinked, “Okay,” she mumbled in a defeated tone. She pulled her mask off, revealing the same short haircut and tanned face Sam remembered. “Look, please don’t hurt my parents? They think I’m just playing dress up out here.”

With a sigh Sam pulled off his own mask, “I’m not going to hurt your parents, Ava.”

“SAM!?” She squealed, leaping backwards in shock. “You’re Impossible Boy!?”

“Man,” he said tersely.

The door to the garage opened again, this time Ava’s mom led Maisie, now in her civilian clothes, into the Swan’s Nest.

“Hi guys,” she said cheerfully.

“Now Ava,” her mom began, “Normally I don’t want people over this late, but I honestly didn’t think you had any friends, so I’m going to let this one slide.”

“Thanks Mrs. Cygnus!” Maisie said, waving cheerfully. She walked in and started looking around, ignoring Ava’s shocked expression. “Wow,” she said, squinting at some of Ava’s “gadgets.” Hefting what was clearly just a crowbar spraypainted black, she giggled. “Most of the guys who do this put a bit more of their budget towards it, you know?”

“Was enough to kick your ass,” Ava muttered. “Hey! Get out of here vile villain! You turned Sam to the dark side!”

“That’s not entirely true-“ Sam tried to cut in.

Maisie reached into the same fridge Ava’s mom had just opened and withdrew a soda for herself. The crack echoed through the garage as she pulled the tab on a commemorative can featuring her fighting Ultra Woman. Deliberately ignoring a shocked Black Swan she took a long sip.

“Ah,” she said, wiping her mouth, “Okay, we should probably all talk, yeah?”