The noise was tremendous. It was like hearing a waterfall roar from its base. The titanic lips, large enough to envelope a building were making it impossible not only to avoid hearing, but also to avoid listening. The combined effect of salivation and suction made the whole thing sound like rhythmic succession of waves in a stormy sea. Elsa was, for her own misfortune, by far the nearest spectator of the show.
That morning she was enjoying her vacation on the beach with her eight years old son Arthur. She was lying on the seat, deeply absorbed in the reading of the last novel about her favorite detective, when the whole world started to shake and tremble. She thought immediately of an earthquake. The sudden reflex made her jump out of the seat looking for her son, struck in complete dismay for the immediate existential threat.
“Mom?!” was the voice that awakened her. There he was, six or seven rows of seat ahead, on the shoreline, holding his marbles. She screamed back reaching with the hand in her son direction when the shaking and rumbling became vastly more imminent. She turned to the left just to be baffled by a sight beyond comprehension. Introduced by a sandstorm of umbrellas and towels, woods and plastic, there it came a gigantic couple of elliptic orbs. The were on on the top of the other and bubbled softly in the movement. They were getting close. Only a second sight revealed an even more unbearable truth. Those orbs were the prominent extremity of a bigger curve that continued in a wall of flesh in the direction of the city and in the shape of two irregular pillars in the direction of the sea. It was a body, a feminine one, lying on her side, just unbearably big. Big enough to be already deeply distended (or “extended”) both in the city beyond the beach and in the water in front of it. And it was approaching, not by moving but by … expanding? That last consideration shook Elsa strongly enough to make her recover her own situation. She looked again in the direction of her son, that was now down on his knees crying for the fear and the confusion. She started running as fast as she could. The chaos was ominous, there were people running in the perpendicular direction or, simply put, away from the ever growing mountain in the form of ass cheeks. She kept screaming to gain the attention of her son, but the noise of the sand and the stuff dragged by the attrition of the nearing buttocks and the scream of confusion of the fleeing people made it completely useless. Suddenly her son raised his head in order to look again for his mother and recognized her through the crowd running in his direction. He dropped the marbles and started running too. They were less than two rows apart, both screaming, both crying, holding their hand one in the direction of the other when the avalanche came. Elsa couldn’t feel the ground under her feet for a moment and lost her balance. She fell to the ground and had no time to stand up again because a wall of sand and debris immediately submerged her. The last thing she distinguished in the light at the end of the wave was her son standing and screaming. Then everything became dark.
And her son was also the first thing she saw when she woke up. He woke her. “Artie? Is that you? Oh my god… Artie, are you ok? Have you got hurt? Oh my god, what happened?”
“Mom! Mom! You are awake! I was so scared! You have to come out! It’s dangerous here, everybody else is gone, they have all fled! Please mom, I want to leave!”
“Artie, honey, calm down! Oh my God, I am so happy to see you? Come here let me hug you!” Said her while loosing temporarily the sight because of the tears. She reached for her son with her arms … she could not move her right arm. She removed the tears with her free arm spreading sand all over her cheeks. Then she looked right. She was completely submerged in the sand. Only her head, left shoulder, arm and breast were over the surface. And the sand was as compressed as concrete. She tried to move her right hand, the finger were numb but they responded. Her relief was extremely short because of the pain she felt, coming from her forearm. She screamed, but then immediately silenced herself out of the fear. She was stuck in the hill of deep pressed sand and beach-day remains. On her left there stood her son holding her hand. On her right the sight was blocked. An immeasurable wall blocked the view to everything else. It was the ass cheek, as big as a stadium. Over the “horizon”, the other cheek emerged, like a further mountain. Elsa could not feel less dwarfed than in that moment. She felt like not only her figure, but also her whole world and existence were nothing under the shadow of that bottom. The skin of the titaness seemed smooth, light and covered in what should have been microscopic white hairs, which for Elsa looked like a thin forest of white cables. She recognized also a strange protuberance twenty or so meters up on the left. It was less smooth and brownish. In the perspective of the giantess that must have been a microscopic mole. Over the head of Elsa, it stood large enough to allow a helicopter to land on it, or even two. She could not stare any longer at the immense roundness of the enormous woman. She had to get out of the sand and bring her son as far as she could from this madness.
“Arthur, listen to me! We have to get out of here! I am stuck, and I can not come out of the sand by myself. I need your help. We have to dig, as much and as fast as we can. Do you understand me?”
The boy nodded to her mother and came closer.
“Good! Up here” Said her while helping him to climb the remaining part of the hill. He started moving sand with both hands. But the work was pretty Sisyphus-like since for every handful he could remove a similar amount fell from the top of the hill. Elsa held her teeth and tried to help her son the best she could. The kept digging for some minutes.
“I am tired mom, I can’t feel the palms of my hands”
“I know honey, but we must hurry up! We don’t know what may happen.”
The worst case scenario seemed extremely imminent. Even the slightest movement of the ginormous lady could have caused a new avalanche. A microscopically stronger one, could have smashed them both like the specks of dust they were in the presence of such a titanic ass. She didn’t want to think about it and kept digging until she could recognize her own shoulder. The sand kept falling, they were making progress but very slowly. Out of the blue, a rumble struck both. They looked at the gigantic form, which kept staying still. Then, the noise of a thousand thunders combined and exploded like the crash of collapsing planets. A petty and acute flatulence dispersed in the air, out of the ass of the giantess. For the titans it was hardly enough to wake them. For Elsa and her son, the rumble was so strong that they both lost their hearing for a while. It lasted two or three seconds. The jet didn’t hit Elsa, they were to close to encounter its trajectory. But it hit the beach under the sand-hill. Before the storm, there was indeed a chaotic mess of seats, umbrellas, bags, towels, and whatever else could be once part of a normal beach morning. After, there extended something like a reverse crater. The stuff that accumulated on the beach, also the kiosk and wooden structure that hosted bars and restaurants just three seconds earlier were shredded into pieces and thrown up at hundreds if not thousands of meters, raining on the land in the distance. When they recovered from the shock, Elsa looked at her son. He was petrified by the consequences of such a little air, just expressed at those proportions. But when she could hear well again she heard the sound of laughter. Her son was kept in a moment of hilarity.
“Eheh, the mega miss just farted a tornado!”
“Yeah” she commented, not sharing the same enthusiasm. “We have to keep digging honey!”
And so they did. They could hear noises in the direction of the city. At first it was very difficult to understand what was happening. Then it got clearer, there was a discussion. A discussion between thunders, it was impossible to distinguish any word, but still it was a discussion. Elsa wondered again what they could be talking about. Then the thought hit her like a truck: “they!” There were more than one of these monstrosity. One of these things alone was big enough to flatten a block with her body. Her forms resembled an actual mountain range. She just witnessed the power of a single little and short fart, strong enough to pulverize buildings. Elsa could not indulge in her meditating too much. Who knew what would come next? They may have decided to move. She didn’t want to be there in the occasion. The job became much easier when she completely freed her other arm and could dig with both. The sand was below her knees when the worst happened. The giantess was starting to move. With a strong pull she came to see her feet again and immediately stood up to run away. Although she didn’t account for the time her legs were immobilized and compressed in the sand and the subsequent numbness. She fell ruinously down the hill. The sand was tumbling down on every side of her, the adrenaline compensated the numbness and gave Elsa the strength to rise and look for her son that was running down to her. She started screaming with her arm stretched toward him. He was screaming too, but the sound was muffled by the noise of the crumbling sand-hill. She shoot “Arthur, jump!”. The child obeyed the best he could and in a matter of instant she managed to hug her son again in a brief moment of excitement. Emotion that immediately left space for the fear of impending doom. Doom in the semblance of a heart-shaped butt as big as an airport. The shadow extended for hundred of meters. Holding her beloved son by the wrist, Elsa run faster than she could even imagine. But it wasn’t enough. It was too big, too fast and too close. The ass descended unstoppable and it was like the Earth itself was closing around them. In a final moment of terror, Elsa kept Arthur close to her and hugged him covering his eyes and whispering “It’s going to be alright”. Then, it was darkness.