Splat!

The wet paper towel slapped against the cold tile breaking the centipede’s body into pieces. Kyle snickered in satisfaction as he balled up the paper towel and transported it to the toilet. 

“Sorry,” he said, speaking to the ball as it fell into the clear water, revealing its contents to the water. “You shouldn’t have been in my house!” a ringing filled the bathroom as the toilet was flushed, sealing the dead creatures fate further. As Kyle returned to his chair he unpaused the menu on his game and began to pick up where he left off. Pressing the mute button on his controller he turned his mic back on to speak to those on the other end.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Stupid centipede on the wall. Had to kill it.” As he said this he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning he scrutinized the wall in the dark room seeing a lone spider doing it’s best to scuttle up the wall before being seen. 

“Hold on,” Kyle intoned to his gamer buddies, “found another one.” Despite the protests from the other end, he paused the game and muted the mic once more.

“Dang man, it’s your unlucky day!” he called out to the spider as it crawled up the wall. “you must not have seen your buddy there just get it!” Kyle made his way to the bathroom, his bare feet slapping noisily against the tile as he continued. “I mean it’s pretty unfortunate for you! There was only one way you were getting out of this and it was by not being here in the first place. I’m sorry man, don’t want to kill you but rules are the rules.” Kyle exited the bathroom, lowering himself to the spider’s level as he raised a wadded up lump of toilet paper to the spider. “rule numero uno,” he slammed the toilet paper wad into the unsuspecting spider’s back. It’s legs broke instantly it’s insides careening over the paper as it’s frame crumpled under the added weight. “stay out of my house.” Kyle ended the sentence with finality, walking back to the bathroom.

“dude, you could have had a long life, you and your pal both, but now the both of you just have a toilet funeral. Sucks.” Kyle said as he let the spider’s body, entombed in the toilet paper fall to break the same water the centipede had just traveled. “Bon voyage!” Kyle said as he pressed the lever, sending the poor creature down the lieu. There was a minute sense of satisfaction, like there was one last nasty creepy crawly in the world. Kyle returned once more to his game, apologizing profusely to his friends while the two insects went long forgotten.

After about two hours he told his friends goodbye.

“I’m hitting the hay guys. I’ll call you up tomorrow and we can do that raid.”

“sounds good man!”

“Take care Kyle!”

“hey, come suck my dick!”

They all exchanged last words before Kyle shut the console down. As he walked to his bed sleep was not far behind. He didn’t even have time to pull back the covers before sleep had claimed him and he was off in a dream.

***

Kyle awoke dazed and confused. Something was really loud and had interrupted his pleasant dream of being on a deserted island with gorgeous ladies, or having beat that raid boss solo with a sword, one of the two, it was a bit foggy. So was his vision now that he looked around. Rubbing his eyes a few good times trying to force sleep away he tried looking around. What greeted him made no sense so he tried again. The same space was there.

“What the-” slipped from his lips as he gazed in confusion. A giant TV, bigger than any movie theater screen he had ever seen lit up the room. Monumental red arm chairs towered overhead as well as red footrests like a canopy of the biggest and strangest shaped trees that could ever exist. Nothing made sense. All this crap was taller and bigger than most of the buildings in the city he lived in. how could this be real? It wasn’t, simple as that. This was a continuation of the dream he’d been having. It had just changed again, though he missed the island portion. From the size of the screens he figured he was about the size of a bug. “Huh, don’t mind this microscopic dream just wish the hot babes were here.” He though as he began walking off, trying to figure out what the point of this dream was. As he had walked about 50 yards he suddenly felt a violently loud crashing. Two loud thunderclaps, followed by another, and then another and another. Each one was getting closer. “oh crap.” He thought, “microscopic dream means giant people.” He looked up to see a monolithic staircase. At the bottom one enormous brown foot was followed by its twin. The biggest girl Kyle had ever seen now stood before him, a drink in her mouth a bag of chips in her other hand. Her skin tone was a nice mocha color, her hair jet black and sticking in every direction frizzy and practically a halo around her head. A mesh tarp colored white with blue stripes one could barely call a shirt covered her breasts and abdomen, exposing her navel just a little. Baggy grey jogging pants barely hugged her legs. She was so big he couldn’t even see her eyes. After pausing for a moment to slurp at her drink she began to move. The thunderous rumblings threw Kyle to and fro as she moved in his direction.

“Hmm…this is really good! I’m so glad I had this in the fridge!” A deep reverberation vibrated through Kyle’s entire body as he felt more than heard this gargantuan girl speak. Trying as best he could in between the monumental earthquakes throwing him off his feet he ran as fast as he could to the baseboard. He hadn’t made it thirty feet when a whooshing threw him at the baseboard, his arm impacting hard as he slammed into it. A cracking noise sounded the breaking of an arm as a pained yelp escaped Kyle’s mouth as he fell back down to the ground, hard. Pain shot through his face as blood dripped off his broken nose. The pain was excruciating and enough to tell him the horrifying truth, this was no dream. 

Worse as he looked up he saw the source of his agony. One of this young woman’s monolithic feet had passed him, coming so close to his positon the displacement of air had thrown him. He had to get out of here.

“Now, where was I? Yeah I’m back, just had to get something to eat” the deep rumbling sounded again. Kyle looked up to see the girl putting on an equally gigantic headset. He grabbed his arm as he took off, sticking as close to the baseboard as possible. 

After what he assumed was about 20 minutes he reached the end. 

“Alright,” He told himself, “I just have to stick to the shadows and hope she doesn’t get up.” A sonic boom greeted these words bruising his resolve more than him. He looked back. The girl had her hands together, as if she was clapping. Peeling them apart she inspected her right hand gingerly. 

“Yeah hold up guys. It was a spider. Stupid little guy came down right in front of my face. I have to go wash my hands.” 

Seismic tremors shook Kyle’s foundation and his soul as he wondered in panic where the bathroom was. If it was upstairs he was a goner. Just then he noticed he wasn’t in the shadows anymore. 

What the? How’d I get here? I thought I was in the shadows. Kyle thought to himself, then he realized. She must have turned her chair when she got up. The light from her TV was illuminating his position. Suddenly the tremors stopped. Kyle, terror gripping his heart, turned on the spot. The girl was looking right at him. 

“NO way!” he thought aloud. There was no way she could see him. The whooshing almost blew him off his feet again as the gargantuan figure squatted down above him seemingly trying to get a better look at him.

“Hi little fella! You lost?” relief swept through Kyle as he began to relax, he was saved! She recognized him the nightmare was o-

“Man, it’s your unlucky day. You must not have seen your buddy Mr. Spider back there get it!” the young woman raised to her towering height above him. He could just see her head over those mountainous breasts, only cause she was bending her neck over them to look at him. Tears welled up in Kyle’s eyes, as he turned full tilt, running as fast as he could. 

“There was exactly one way for you to get out of this alive and that was by not being here at all!”

“No, no, no, NO!” Kyle screamed, “It’s not FAIR!”

The apocalyptic sole of this young woman dangled above him. Every crease and crevice in her foot was on display as she replaced the sky above him.

“I’d love to let you go but rules are rules mi amigo. Rule numero uno: Stay out of my house.”

The foot began to descend. Kyle looked back, hoping it wasn’t true, hoping the foot wouldn’t be there, hoping to God this was all a dream. All he saw was the massive toes, their prints like mini canyons, sail over his head, as the ball of her foot came closer and closer. Kyle screamed one last time as the meteoric sole impacted into his body. He was pushed to the ground, his legs steamrolled by a tremendous weight as her foot settled and spread out on the floor. As tears fell from his eyes the rest of her foot came down crushing his body instantly into the folds of her foot.

--

Danae looked at the bottom of her foot. A small almost imperceptible red blotch looked back. Man, it was a miracle she’d even seen that bug, it had been so small. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Bug could have had a long life if it had been anywhere but here.” As she walked towards the bathroom to wash her hands she thought about how many bugs she’d had to kill in just the afternoon alone. Once she finished with her game she’d definitely have to call an exterminator to deal with these pests.