Chapter 4

It didn’t take Morgan long to return to the bar. It was one of their favorite watering holes. It wasn’t a great bar but it *was*  just around the corner from Allison’s house. 

“Hey! Lookie there! The martini fairy came!” Morgan said as she plopped back in the booth. Allison had obviously ordered her another Martini while she was away. Morgan threw her bag on the seat, slid Allison’s house keys back across the table to her and took a big gulp. 

“Mmmm, yum.  It’s still cold!” 

“So……….Tell me--just how small *is* he now? Has it stopped yet?” Allison had always thought Jim looked a little like a Ken doll--she even teased him about it sometimes. She couldn’t wait to see him now that he’d basically been literally turned into one.

“Oh yes. Definitely. Must say, he didn’t seem too happy about it though…”

“Ha. I’ll bet. Is he safe now though? No trouble locking him in the bathroom?”

“Uh...he’s safe now, promise.”  

“Thanks for doing that for me M. I knew you’d think it was a strange thing for me to ask--It’s just that we were having so much fun I totally forgot about Roxy’s new doggy door in the kitchen. She stays in the backyard all day, but she can let herself in on her own when she gets hungry. She’ll probably be wanting her dinner pretty soon. So yeah...with little Jim suck tiny & helpless in plain sight...you know. Roxy’s such a sweetheart, she’d never knowingly hurt anybody but she’s never seen a little guy like that obviously--she might think he’s a new chew toy or something, I don’t know.”

“Hahahah! I never thought about that but you’re right I bet she would! I mean, she loves biting that rubber bone of hers and now Jim’s every bit as small & squeaky as that thing. In fact I bet she’d like to chew on little Jim even more--think about it--unlike all her other little chew toys, Little Jimmy contains real meat!” Morgan looked out the window and grinned as she pictured Roxy running around with Jim in her mouth, squeaking his little head off. 

Allison’s jaw dropped open. “Morgan! Don’t even joke like that! *Nobody* deserves to be eaten by a dog--or anything else for that matter--not even an asshole like Jim!” 

“Kidding! Jeez, chill!  Er…*mostly* kidding anyway. I mean...Seriously Al, why do you care *what* happens to the little fucker now? *So what* if he gets chomped to bits by a cute little corgi? After everything that prick did to you...and OTHER WOMEN TOO don’t forget...good riddance, I say ....” Morgan took a huge swig of her drink and wiped her mouth with her sleeve. 

Allison slapped the table and pointed her perfectly manicured finger at Morgan’s face. “No! I’m serious about this, Morgan.  I know we’ve done a lot of mean stuff to him already, and we’re about to do a whole lot more. But to let him get devoured like that? Jim is really vulnerable now.  I’d still feel so guilty if he *died* because of me. He deserves to be humiliated but not murdered for god sakes…” Morgan studied her friend’s face for a moment. She couldn’t tell if Allison was saying all that because she somehow actually still somehow felt pity for the little shit...or if she just wanted to make sure he stayed alive long enough for her to finish torturing him to her satisfaction. Either way, Morgan decided to just let it go and ordered another round. 

“Ok, ok, I get it! Sheesh. But like I said: The little guy is safe... for the time being anyway.  Now. Can we *please* talk about the rest of your plan now? Part one’s done. Check. Dude’s a fucking Ken Doll now--just as you as requested, m’lady.  So on to part 2 then, yeah? What little you whispered to me sounded hilariously delicious, but I must say it was a bit light on the details. You said you wanted to give him some sort of rules? Rules backed by instant, magic consequences that automatically kick in if he breaks one? That a fair summary?”

“That’s the general idea, yeah. But to be honest I haven’t gotten much farther than that, yet. I was hoping maybe you & I could brainstorm on it a little right now? You know, flesh it out a bit? I have a few other ideas I think you’ll like too.”” 

“Sweet! You know I *live* for stuff like this,, babe. And as you well know, this Humiliate Jim project you got going on now is *right* in my particular wheelhouse. Just tell me what you’ve got so far--even if it’s half-baked, k? Say are you hungry?  I’m getting hungry. Should we order some food?” Allison shrugged and that was enough for Morgan.  

“Mr. Waiter, sir? Actually, I think we *will* have that shrimp cocktail now if you don’t mind!” She looked at Allison while she held up her empty glass & Allison nodded. “Oh and another round as well?”

You know Al, I was pretty shocked when you decided shrinking a full grown man down to doll-size wasn’t harsh enough. I really assumed you’d just kick him to the curb after all this, and I was all for it -- Figured you’d just toss him into the alley out back  &  let him take his chances with stray cats & whatever else, you know? But when I’m wrong I’m wrong--Your idea is better. Why get rid of him now when we can wait until we’ve had some more fun with him first!” Allison bit her lip. She wasn’t sure how Morgan would react when she found out Allison actually had no plans to *ever* kick Jim out. She was happy to be interrupted by the returning waiter. 

“Aaaand, here we are, ladies...two fresh martinis for you both, and a beautiful shrimp cocktail with our signature sauce.”  Allison smirked when she realized Morgan was making a little joke by ordering shrimp--shrimps were the theme of the day after all.

“Thank you kindly, good sir. I’m sure we’ll be wanting a couple more after these but no, we’re good for now,” she replied. Allison gave him a thumbs-up as she bit into a shrimp about as long as Jim’s little Ken-arm.  

Then she leaned in a little & said to Morgan in a hushed tone, “Ok. Here’s what I’ve got so far.”  

“Um, why are you whispering? Pretty sure little Jimmy can’t hear you right now babe. ” 

Allison elegantly slid her new drink closer to herself by the stem.

“I know.... It’s just...I’m new at this kind of thing, M-- it just feels so... naughty I guess. What we did to him...and the stuff we’re *going* to do to him...none of it’s even *legal* is it?

Morgan giggled. “Well you still haven’t told me what else is coming his way but I’m pretty sure there are no laws on the books anywhere about shrinking ex-boyfriends. Relax girl, we’re good. Please, fire away. I want to see the little guy again before he dies of old age, ok?” 

“Ok. Well. I know you’re anxious to get to the shrinking stuff but if you don’t mind,  I have a couple ideas about something else that I wanted to ask you about. It’s about his voice.”

“His voice?”

“When you took away his voice back there...that probably hit him way harder than you even realize. See, the thing is, just like his height, Jim was always super proud of that smooth, deep voice he’s got..er...used to have. You heard it, you know what I’m talking about right? Anyway, I found it irresistible and unfortunately it sounds like I’m not the only one who let that happen. He’s a little weasel but he’s also an expert at using that golden voice of his to talk people into doing all kinds of shit for him--especially me.”

“Well sure, but I’m not sure I follow. What are you saying we should do about it that we haven’t already done? Al, you heard him right? Even when we left….he was still what--taller than four feet I think. Even when he was still Divito-sized he was already starting to sound like helium-boy. 

“Yeah but…”

“Well that was nothing.  If you thought that he sounded funny then, just wait.  I let him talk again for a bit while I was locking him up & hoo-boy! Trust me on this Al, I can almost guarantee that is one dude who won’t be seducing *any* women anymore--Not with *that* weird little voice he’s got now. Not a chance.”

“No let me finish-- I still don’t think you get it. Jim’s a prick who deserves everything we’re going to do to him but don’t forget that he *really is* good at what he does. If I’m being totally honest, even with his new size & weird new voice--I hate to admit this, M, cause I know you’ll give me shit about it--but even after all this I honestly can’t say I’m 100% sure he won’t talk me into doing something I really don’t want to do. This guy’s voice is his main weapon, Morgan. So I really think it's important we keep it under lock and key, ok?”

“Makes sense I guess,” Morgan said with her mouth full of shrimp, “But why the big spiel about it? All you had to say was ‘Hey Morgan, I love how you shut Jim up--make that permanent.” No problem. Next! Can we please move on to the good stuff now? 

  “Well hang on a minute...please, M. I’m almost done. I don’t want to just take Jim’s voice away forever, because….because I want him to feel the loss. I know he hates that new voice of his so much that I want him to have to hear it sometimes. And besides that, sometimes I *am* going to want him to talk--like to answer questions I ask him, or like...to listen to him whine about how unfair I’m being..stuff like that. So, don’t just make him a mute ok? Instead, can you make it so even *I* could unmute him whenever I want? And then mute him back after? Could you, like,  make some kind of magical remote or wand or something for me with a big “Mute Jim” button on itg?”

“Hahaha. Ah. Now I get it. Sorry, yes. Of course. Actually that’s a good catch--I really should have thought of that myself. But yeah, no problem, babe! Easy peasy! I do have one thought though. I really don’t think you want to tie it to a remote control, or really any physical object...I know you girl--you’d lose it the second  I gave it to you.  And anyway--we’re not in the 90s anymore--We’re in the age of voice commands now, baby! How about this: I could make it so that whenever you say, ‘SPEAK!!’ to him, he’ll be able to talk again. He won’t love it...he’ll still sound like a little cartoon chipmunk, but he’ll technically be able to say some cute little words to you and you’ll be able to understand them. And then when you say, “SQUEAK!” he’ll be right back to being stuck in squeaks-only mode--after that, if he doesn’t want to hear himself squeak like a stupid rubber toy whenever he tries to talk, he’ll just have to keep his tiny little trap shut--Just like every *other* Ken Doll in the world. Howzat sound?” Allison clapped her hands a few times and exclaimed, “Oh yeah that’s perfect!

“Well I aim to please…”

 “Wait. What if he hates being in squeak-mode so much...I love that you called it that by the way. What if he hates squeaking so much that he just decides he’ll do what you said and shut his trap forever--I wouldn’t put it past him to never even *try* to talk again to avoid hearing his humiliating new cartoon voice. M, I *want* him to squeak sometimes-- I never want him to forget that his precious smooth, hypnotic ‘voice’ is gone forever. I never want him to forget he’s just a glorified squeak toy now, ya know?”

Morgan wasn’t quite sure what Allison had in mind. 

“Ok….I hear what you’re saying. What do you want me to do about that then? Sounds like you have an idea so just spill it, babe“

“Ok well, I was just wondering, like, what if we baked Jim’s humiliating new squeak-toy nature right into his very *identity* you know??--LIke, maybe we make him dress a certain way & ...oh! Maybe we even change his name! We could call him “Squeaky” from now on!  I want him to totally give up on ever being his old self again & start accepting his pathetic new squeak-toy existence, you know?”

“Holy shit, Al,  that is some pretty sick psychological-torture you’re cooking up there. I fucking love it! Damn, Allison,  I’m seeing a side to you today I never knew was in there. I just wanted to expose Jim for you -- I never expected it to be this fun though.  I’m absolutely giddy and it’s not just the drinks talking. So yeah, I see what you’re up to now. Doesn’t sound like a problem. But can I make just a couple more suggestions?” 

“Yes, yes, please do!”

“Well first of all, I love “Squeaky” as a new name for him, I truly do. But... what do you think about the name “Pipsqueak” instead?”

“PIPSQUEAK! Hahaha. That’s *so* much better--Oh my god he’ll fucking HATE that!”

“Cool, cool. Pipsqueak he shall be then. But let’s not just *call* him that, let’s make it real, wanna? I can make it so even he can only refer to *himself* as Pipsqueak--I can make it so he can’t tell anyone his name is Jim ever again, and so that whenever anyone asks him for his name he can’t even stay silent--he’ll HAVE to say his ridiculously appropriate new name! Want me to add that in there too? You might be surprised but little mind-tweaks like that are pretty simple actually.”

“Wow. Hell yes. I wasn’t sure you’d understand but yes, yes. Please do all that.”

“K. Well, so far you’ve only given me super-simple stuff, Al. In fact I bet it took you longer to explain what you wanted me to do than it will take for me to actually do it for you. In fact,  let me just get your voice & name stuff out of the way right now.” Morgan looked up at the ceiling for barely a moment, snapped her fingers & after a beat she said, “Ok...So far so good. This is fun for me too, Al. I *never* have a partner to team up with on my revenge-magic stuff and I never dreamed that I’d get to do it with you of all people. But seriously, can we finally talk about these mysterious ‘rules’ of yours? 

“Yes we can! I think I’ve got some doozies. I know this prick. I know what will push his buttons. I’ve got some good ideas I think but I want you to feel free to add to them. I know you can make them even better.

“Oh FUCK yeah! Here we go, baby! Lay it on me.” 

Allison stood up.

“What the fuck, where you going?”

“I just reeeeeeally need to pee first, M.  I’m about to burst! I’ll be right back.”

“Now??! Uuuuuuuuugh………….fine…...Just... hurry back, ok?” 

Morgan wanted a cigarette but decided to wait a bit--She figured it would taste soooo much better after they’d finished hashing out all the various ways Pipsqueak's going to be hating his shitty little life from now on.  She suspected the little shit still has a ways to go before his will is broken, though. She thought about how hard he was trying to get himself out of that wastepaper basket as she popped another shrimp into her mouth. He thinks he's got it bad now...He has no idea.