The nicotine yellow rays of the sun bled through thin cracks in the blinds in the windows while hot and humid afternoon air circulated under the lazy watch of the office ceiling fan. Jessica's head barely poked beyond the bulky frame of her CRT monitor; the only indication she was still there was the reliable clacks of her keyboard that drifted through the building, lulling Dave in the staff room to sleep. His snore's quickly added to the mundane office orchestra. Meanwhile, I continued to struggle in the waiting room with Jessica, holding a small peel 'n' stick flypaper sheet I had been working on for the better part of an hour now.
"Hey Robert, it's time for lunch. What are we getting?" She asked as she stopped typing before adding, "Your turn to decide, where do we go?"
My frustration had finally hit its peak; storming over to the slatted bench, I sat down, not even registering my co-worker's words. I wasted so much time just fighting with a stupid piece of adhesive flypaper, but the stubborn part of my brain refused to give up this easily... Only five more minutes.. that'd be just enough to...
"Rob. Lunch. Now." Jess raised her voice, snapping me out of my focus and making me lose the slight progress made on the corner as it fell back into place.
"Fine, Jess. We'll grab something from that Italian joint not far from the park again..." muttering bitterly, I was still a lot more focused on the task at hand rather than any prospects of food. For some reason, Dave crossed my mind, making me add, "Wake up Dave, see if he wants anything."
"Okay then..." She responded, shaking her head in mock disbelief before making her way to the staff room.
The office clock matched the sounds of my determined assaults on the edge of the backing, making small amounts of progress each time and coming ever so close to finally getting it off. This last barrier was all that stood between that annoying fly and me killing it. Dave's mouth sent out a stream of half-coherent words before the snoring continued. Jessica had managed to understand whatever it is he said before mentioning she would be in the bathroom. I couldn't give half a toss what either of them said at that moment, though; I was too immersed in personal celebration.
It was off! Finally, that stupid sheet of flypaper was ready to hang! This was one of those rare moments of job satisfaction you heard in the legends of old. Just when I started to stand up to grab a spot on the wall for it, a wave of dizziness halted my plans and sent me reeling. My first thought was I was having a heart attack, as my entire body screamed with pain and the sight before my eyes turned into a tear-filled kaleidoscope. I felt something hit the side of my head, causing it to leak. A blurry view of the ceiling fan wobbled in the distance as my eyes lost focus, and I blacked out.
Sometime later, I woke up. The office clock sounded otherworldly as it plugged along. Struggling to stand, I eventually sat upon an endless sheet of beige and tan fabric that made up the floor. It was then where my eyes finally focused on my surroundings and allowed me to see the horror for what it was. The coffee table usually seemed far too close for comfort now spanned the width of a canyon away from where I was. According to the massive face of the cheap office clock at the far wall... Well, the much more distant wall now, only about a half-hour had passed between my short-lived victory and whatever this was now.
Looking around and finding no sign of Jessica, I knew she had to be in a similar state. The Italian place was only eight-minutes away for a sixteen-minute round trip total. Realizing that help wouldn't be on the way, I desperately began looking for a way down, yelling out the names of my co-workers as I moved along the slick edges of the pillow.
"Hello?" A booming voice grabbed my attention as the sight of a giant young woman dressed in light attire filled the doorway. Wafting outside air carried the scent of something foul from behind her as she stood in and let the door shut with a tortured chiming clang. My brain shut off, alternating between a grimace and a look of awe at such a monumental sight. Her thigh's alone that peaked out from under her skirt and socks made the worlds tallest skyscrapers look like inept mockeries of the word.
"Hello!!" Her voice boomed again from the front of Jessica's desk, "Is anyone there? It's an emergen...cy."
I watched as our red lunchbreak card found its way into the young goddess's hand, eliciting a frustrated response as her set of gigantic fingers found purchase atop of her head, loosening thick strands of gold from it. The ground shook as she turned around, coming in my direction. My first instinct was to yell, but I very quickly found out that futile attempts were quite literally just that in every sense.
"Of all the times to not be here." Her groans mingled with an unusual plasticky noise, and the smell from earlier had grown now that she stood at the coffee table ahead. It was finally from here that I could see why. Under the girl's skirt hung a lightly used diaper, the stench and light browning around the leg holes' rearmost portion the only signs of use so far. By now, I was too busy retching to focus anymore on the situation around me.
"Let's make a little bit of room here." She said to no one in particular as my world shifted violently, and my back impacted a sticky sweet smelling surface. I could feel my heart sink as I already knew exactly where I was. From overhead, the sight must have looked like a black speck in the middle of a small sheet of sticky paper that could fit in most men's palms, but from the position on my back, the yellow adhesive stretched out in all directions around me like a saccharine desert. Weak screams were the last thing anyone would hear as the sight of a diaper covered rear rapidly filled my view and closed me off from the world.
. . .
I was alive! My body ached as if I had just gone through a forty-three round boxing match, and the air rivalled the state of the staff room toilet after Dave had his way with it. My ears were leaking something, working just enough to catch the sounds of a girl's desperate screams before I went deaf.
"...." The woman above me was shifting back and forth, threatening to leave the divot of safety I had found in between the open slat of the bench. Something pelted me from above from within as the world slid fully forward, dragging my legs into the wooden seat and turning them both into a fine paste. Forced to decide if I should register the feeling of phantom limbs or gasp for every last drop of oxygen I had left, I instead numbly prayed for death to take me already. With the breathable air thinning by the second, I felt my body run cold, and my eyes droop heavily on my tired face, and my vision fell to black.