Self Absorbed

By VivettaVenray

(WARNING: Contains lots of absorption and body-horror. Some of the body-horror is very blood-oriented as well.

This story also contains vore, internals, digestion, weirdness, powers, and gore among other things)

(NOTE: This is a story idea I had for quite some time before writing, so I hope it's enjoyed!

I'd like to emphasize that this story was in no way meant to offend or otherwise disparage any real world countries, peoples, or ideologies. The main goal with the story was exploring a literal interpretation of 'being one with the universe', it wasn't to poke fun at any beliefs.

I'd also like to mention the earlier parts of the story are more absorption and body-horror oriented than size, though there is still size-content of course. There's of course greater-scale sizes later on, but absorption and body-horror/malleability are present as big themes throughout. Please keep that in mind!

)

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Chapter 1: Training

Yun was quite the successful young woman. Born to a wealthy family, her advantages were further compounded by stellar genetics. Recognized as a prodigy, she graduated at a prestigious overseas university at the young age of 18. Shortly after, her parents and only living relatives had a tragic and unexplained accident that left her with their estate. Yun leveraged those already considerable riches in numerous carefully calculated investments, which paid off in spades. Things snowballed further from there, and soon the tendrils of her companies reached far across the globe. She quickly became not just the richest woman in the eastern hemisphere, but the planet as a whole.

Her home was the top floor of the tallest building in the capital city. Jade sculptures and ancient artifacts decorated her penthouse alongside the finest technology her money could buy. World class chefs, artists, masseuses and masseurs were on her personal payroll among many other specialists and servants. If she saw something--or someone--and wanted it then it--or they--were hers one way or another. With great money came great influence, and even politicians served her whims in time.

Time passed, yet even with all the entertainment and luxuries Yun’s money and power could afford, she was unsatisfied. She felt like she was missing something: something less tangible than a gold-rimmed tea set or a platinum-plated pool. The 20 year old woman realized that she’s not like the single-minded specialists on her staff, nor was she like the plebeians scurrying along the city streets in the shadow of her high rises. Even the finest “breads” and the most elegant “circuses”--so-to-speak--did not offer true lasting fulfillment to her. Even becoming the richest person in the world as a whole provided a satisfying sense of accomplishment that proved fleeting: just like all her other achievements.

Yun never believed in the spiritual, and the notion of some entity with more power than what her money and influence could command was, at once, both foolish and disturbing to her. Still, she thought answers to true fulfillment might lie among those content with almost nothing. In the mountains miles to the east was a well-known monastery with people that fit the bill.

The monks tried to refuse her at first, no matter how much she offered. Her money was no good, they said, as they had all they needed. Besides, it was a “men’s only” temple. Yun sent a correspondence stating that if the monks truly thought their libidinal desires would be so distracting, then they should consider “castration rather than discrimination”. She offered to pay for the procedures for all the monks, and politely reminded them of the antiquity of gender exclusion.

As expected, the monastery didn’t like her reply. They further iterated that regardless of her gender, they wouldn’t teach someone as materialistic and vile as her. They said her exploitation of the poor, destruction of the environment, and overall disregard for any system of morality was antithetical to their teachings.

Yun had run into stubborn people many times before. Some would never eat carrots, but that’s what the stick was for--so to speak. She applied pressure to the right parts of the country’s government and managed to get some of the nearby mountain land put up for sale.

The business woman brought it, then within a week of her first message told the monastery of her intent to build a plastic refinement facility there. Once the noisy construction finished, the complex itself could do its even noisier work 24/7. On top of the noise, she reminded them, it’d spew black smoke up from the valley to sully their mountain-top views and befoul their crisp mountain air.

Yun was then informed they’d make an exception to teach her. Shortly after her arrival, they realized they’d be making quite a few exceptions.

The monastery complex centered around a large ornate clay-brown temple high atop a mountain. A wide open smooth-stoned chamber contained dozens of beginner monks meditating in unison. It was conventional for beginner monks to meditate there first--often for years. However, Yun insisted from day one on being trained by the best master the monastery had to offer. The temple’s hesitations disappeared soon as she reminded them of that refinery proposal of hers.

Past the communal meditation chambers and through a hallway one eventually got to a gorgeous stone overlook. With the awe-inspiring view of mist-swarmed peaks behind her, the 20 year old woman sat.

Even wearing those simple brown-orange robes, her beauty was still apparent. Yun’s genetics were truly stellar: blessed in body as well as brain. The soft and simple fabric of her garbs draped in such a way to accentuate her subtle curves. The robes were designed for men, so even her comparatively modest bosom was emphasized by the way it covered her form.

The business woman was taller than average, and her long legs laid crossed atop one another in a lotus sitting position. Leather sandals were cast to the side, and her soles pointed at the sky in the contemplative position. The skin at the bottom of her soft feet was a tad lighter and paler than the rest of her fair flesh. Her silky black-hair stopped at the bottom of her neck. She had, of course, refused to shave it like all the other monks did. Almond-brown eyes were wide open towards her instructor.

Hui Yao, or Master Hui as he liked to be called, was the monk master assigned to Yun. As she requested, he was the highest ranked and most lauded teacher at the monastery. The man was bald sans his dark eyebrows and eyelashes. He wore simple robes of his own. Average height, average build, he differed from all the other monks only by the few wrinkles on his face and skin that betrayed his years of age and experience.

“I must admit.”, he said to Yun. “Despite my expectations, you are something of a natural at this. It’s only been a week and I’ve seen amazing progress. Your focus is at the highest of levels.”

“As I said, your expectations were flawed. I didn’t get where I got in life but not excelling. Focus is essential to success in general”, said Yun. Her voice tone was cold and calm: matter of fact. A quick curl at the corner of her lip, however, showed her satisfaction at his praise.

“Yes well, as you insisted, it’s time for an advanced meditation technique. It’s through this technique that I and many others experienced enlightenment, though only after many many sessions. I will guide you through it, as it is a deep state of awareness and realization that requires much experience to navigate.”

Yun locked her fingers together. Already sitting straight up, she only had to shut her eyes to complete the meditation posture. She did so and spoke.

“I’m sure I’ll ‘transcend’ expectations once again.”

Master Hui smiled. He thought to himself it’d be good for her to transcend that pompous arrogance of hers, but years of training and meditation aided him in holding his tongue on that. Instead, he waited 10 seconds than began the guided meditation.

“First, we’ll take five minutes to calm your mind as usual. Breath in, out... in... out...”

Yun followed the instructions, as she had done before, and her mind and body quickly calmed.

“Good.”, said Hui. “I can see you are clearly relaxed. Now, we will expand your awareness. Scan your body from head to toe as you breath in... out... in... out...”

Yun did so. She felt every bit of tension turn to calm from her forehead, to her shoulders and down her body like a wave of calm awareness. Her awareness scan finally reached the tips of her toes, which settled. Her body was calm, and she was aware of it. A deep state of soothing bliss filled her form. It was lovely, but not anything she hadn’t experienced before.

“Excellent. You have full body awareness by now I’m sure. Do your best to hold it as you breath in... out... in... out...”

A few long seconds passed.

“In... out... in... out...” repeated Master Hui.

More time passed.

“Good. Now you will expand your awareness. Imagine the sky and the earth. Feel the wind against your body here on the mountain. That point where you feel the wind is like a boundary isn’t it? It separates you from the wind, in a sense: it separates you from nature. But, it is not as real as you think. Imagine it dissolving. Imagine, best you can, the barrier between you and the wind disappearing. You are the wind. Feel with the wind, as the wind, as you breathe. In... out... in... out...”

Yun did so, and she felt her state of bliss deepen. If she were not so calm and aware, she might’ve cracked a smile at how nice it felt.

“In... out... in... out...”

More silence.

“Good.” said the monk. “Now imagine yourself in space. Your mind is floating in the near-endless void. Small twinkles of light reach you from far, far behind, front, to your sides and all around. They are the only sources of light around you. Dissolve the barrier between you and the light, and the all encompassing emptiness around you. Feel your awareness expand into the far reaches of the universe.”

Yun did so, and found it difficult not to smile as a persistent hum of bliss hit her form. She realized why they had started with the wind: it was much easier, and led to this far more encompassing feeling of pleasant, sharp awareness. Ever since dipping her toes into meditation at the monastery, she had thought she was progressing towards her goal of true fulfillment. However, it felt to her that this was it: that today was it. This was the path to what she sought.

Master Hui started talking after letting Yun bask in awareness some more.

“Excellent. Notice how there should be nothing separating the ‘you’ perceiving the universe from the universe itself. That begs the question as to who, exactly, if anyone is perceiving the universe? If there is no boundary between ‘Yun’ and the entire universe, then explore what, if anything or anyone, is there...”

More silence. There were often pauses during the meditations for the mind to unconsciously ponder things, or to otherwise help from disturbing its state of calm.

“Without losing your awareness or equanimity, let your thoughts flow through you, as you imagine the universe in its entirety. Every single grain of sand to every single burning star. I’ll speak again when this session is finished to let you know.”

Master Hui crossed his arms together and let the loose ‘give’ of his simple robes roll over the limbs. He carefully studied Yun’s posture as the minutes passed. It was unwaveringly perfect. It was hard to not feel some small measure of pride for the 20 year old’s fast progress here at the monastery. Despite the disruption she caused on the daily, the woman could get results fast.

A couple minutes after his last words, Hui watched a beaming smile fall on Yun’s lips. Normally such things would be considered a failing of sorts during meditation practice, but given the gravity of the current technique, it was allowed.

Over an hour passed, and the time came to gently stir Yun from her trance. Master Hui fetched a small little gong from his sleeve and went to flick it with his finger. To his surprise, moments before he did so, Yun’s eyelids shot open, smile still on her face.

“Ah Yun.”, he said. “Interesting timing, but you should always let me mark the end of meditation, rather than do so yourself. Now, how do you feel?”

“Amazing.” said Yun.

Her eyes were wide. Hui had never seen her so happy, and wondered if anyone ever had. There was an aura around her. A thin sort of ‘glow’ that he dismissed as a trick of the sunlight reflecting off the misty mountain peaks in the distance. Still, it made her pose and expression seem all the more radiant.

A thought stirred within the master. Could this troublesome woman really achieve the profound realization--enlightenment itself--after just one session of the technique? As humbling as that'd be, he was excited at the prospect of her becoming a better person: and perhaps leaving the monastery alone.

She continued speaking unprompted.

“It was the most blissful state of being I’d ever achieved. I felt a sense of being “whole”. Nothing I ever felt comes close to it; not the finest massage, most delicious food, or the most extravagant erotic acts. Even now the feeling lingers unabated.”

Hui raised his eyebrows, then spoke.

“A bit more detail on the comparisons than needed, but I am quite happy for you, even if it’s unusual. It seems as though you have had a profound realization.”

“Yes.”, said Yun.

“Excellent.” said Hui. “It’s entirely possible, though unlikely, that you have realized that which all the other student monks here aspire towards. Tell me more about what you felt.”

“Everything.”, said Yun. “I felt everything, and each and every ‘thing’ was me.”

Hui’s eyebrows shot up higher than before.

“Yes!”, he said excited. “But what does that mean, what are the implications of that.”

“Simple, I am everything.” she replied.

“Well, in a sense yes, but what does that mean for your ‘self’?”

Yun turned to him, still smiling.

“It’s complete, yet incomplete. I can see now why I was unfilled.”

She was onto vaguely something here, Hui knew this from his own enlightenment.

“Yes! Yes very much so. So do you see the futility of your material goods, your wealth? All the servants who, even now, you insisted come with you to the monastery?”

“I do.”

“Excellent. So you might see the truth then. It is not something that can be articulated, can it?”, said Hui.

“It cannot”, replied Yun.

“Do your best anyways.”

“There is no barrier between my self and the universe.”, she said.

“Yes yes, but what does that mean about your ego, your self?”

“Simple, It means everything is me.”

Hui frowned. It seemed she was going in circles.

“Ah, not quite. You are getting there though, far faster than anyone else I’ve ever taught. There’s no need to be upset, as this is still great progress--”

“I’m not upset.” said Yun. Her voice was calm as before. She had stayed in her meditation pose this entire time, minus those open and focused brown eyes of hers.

“And I’m not wrong.”, she continued. “This is a realization you have failed to see. How could you see it, when you are yet another piece of my wayward being? Another piece, just waiting to be recollected.”

Hui shook his head. “W-what? Yun whatever you are on about, I do not understand.”

“Of course you don’t.”, she said. “But don’t worry, I’ll show you. You will be the first self to be reabsorbed.”

“R-reabsorbed? Yun, you are confused! This meditation technique must have been too-”

Yun’s smile widened and her jet-black hair shifted. For a moment, he mistook it for the breeze. Then, less than a second after, numerous black strands from her scalp shot out towards him. They pierced the bare sun-touched skin of his forearms, hands, head and shins. The tips of the filaments were abnormal. They were as needles, and like needles they pierced his skin with ease.

Master Hui fell to his knees at a tug from her hair. It had grown out to grab him. This made no sense, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment. A great pain assailed him; the hair seemed to grow into him and under his skin. A great strength pulled him closer to Yun, who was sitting as tranquil and blissful as ever. Yet, visible as a glint in her eyes was her trademark conceit.

“Agh! W-what is this? I can feel your hair crawling into me. Cease this at once-”, said Hui.

“I know exactly what you expected me to learn. You wanted me to see the lack of barriers between my ‘self’ and the universe. You thought I’d make the conclusion that there is no ‘me’, that my ego, and all others, are illusions.”

Hui didn’t speak, but he turned to face to the smiling woman in such a way as to gleam confirmation. She continued speaking.

“For a brief moment I thought that, but then dug even deeper. It didn’t make sense for someone like me, with all my gifts, to be ‘nothing’. You, maybe, but not me. So, I kept probing, kept feeling out the universe and realized how oddly fitting it felt to be everything. There was only one conclusion, I, Yun, am everything.”

Hui, despite his painful position, nearly balked. It was only through his non-judgmental training did he resist.

“That, that is the exact opposite of our teachings. To think the universe revolves around you-”

“No.” she said with a shake of her head. “It is the truth, plain and simple to see for me, at least. Think about it, how else could I be so successful in life; how else could I succeed at everything I do? I am so in tune with the universe because it is easy to be in tune with myself.”

Hui grimaced. Her words disturbed him, though not as much as the painful slithering of her hair strands beneath his skin.

She continued.

“You, however, never had a chance. Even if you had the intellect to realize your place in the universe, you wouldn’t be able to accept it. It’s one thing to be nothing, but to be one of many specks waiting to be absorbed by a greater being? The *greatest* being, me? No, you wouldn’t have been able to, despite all you training. Decades of study and you don’t even know the real truth.”

She chuckled.

Yun’s hairs dug deeper into his body. In the process she did something particularly painful, and Hui’s body shuddered from the agony.

“H-how are you doing this with your hair?”, he said.

“Ah the master asks the student the questions.”, said Yun. She chuckled softly and curtly again.

“You should view it as proof of my words, Hui. Only a higher being, *the* higher being like myself could do something like this. You see, I got my realization the moment I started smiling. From then on, I spent the meditation thinking on ‘techniques’ for reuniting all the scattered bits of my being. Do you see that little glow around me? Take a closer look.”

Hui did, and noticed an extremely subtle, extremely slow ‘flow’ in the outline. It was directed towards her on every stretch of it.

“Already”, said Yun. “I am slowly but surely recollecting all around me. The air, the stray particulates in it--even space and time itself is flowing back into my body where it belongs. I already own everything, am everything, but once it’s back together I’ll be truly fulfilled. Now, it’s time for you to join me.”

Yun tugged the man closer. He tried to resist, knelt knees dug into the stone floor beneath. She was too strong, though, and like a bowing pilgrim his body was brought closer to her divine-posed self. Still, she sat lotus position, fingers clasped together. A smile adorned her face, growing wider as the first sentient chunk of her ‘being’ moved closer to join her.

“No!”, said Hui. “I don’t know what this is with your hair, this horror, but this can’t be true!”

“I’m sure my body’s flexibilities may disturb your lesser, illusory mind, but I’m working with what I have with me at the moment.”, said the woman.

Yun dragged him closer. His finger tips bled against the stone as he tried to resist.

“What…”, began Hui, an expression of desperation and confusion formed on his face.

“What will become of me?”

Yun paused just a moment before erupting into laughter.

“All your years of experience, the proof before your eyes and only now you doubt your past beliefs. Ironic that *now* you worry about your ‘self’. Well, you were right about one thing Hui. There is no ‘you’, but there is a ‘me’. Your entire being will be dissolved into mine: digested, if you will. Perhaps I could spare your consciousness somehow, maybe bring it back, but I’ll *maybe* worry about that once I’m fully whole again.”

She tugged him closer in one jerking motion. He was nearly touching her robes now. Even on those simple clothes, that aura of hers lingered ever so slight.

“No, I don’t want to! Stop!”

Another chuckle sipped past Yun’s lips.

“Is that a desire I heard? I thought the monastery admonished against those? Well, you should know I’m already inside you. My strands of hair have infested every single blood vessel of yours. The thinnest points of their tips are pointed into your neurons. Just one thought and I could drink you up.”

She partially demonstrated. Her hair twitched. Yun’s eyes half-lidded as a pleasant feeling of fullness hit her form. Hui cried out in agony as she absorbed about a liter of his blood. Hui’s skin sunk a bit; more wrinkles formed on him.

Too tired to speak, Hui tried to raise his hand, but couldn’t find the strength. Yun lifted him up like a puppet, her piercing hairs the strings, and brought him against her body. It was then Hui managed to find a bit more energy for some screams.

“You should be honored, Hui. You are the first being to join me. The one true divine. The everything. Yun.”

The monk’s body sunk quite literally into hers. The robes ate him up, swallowing him as he passed through that fabric into the skin beneath. Once touching it, Yun’s fair flesh moved up a tad to ‘welcome’ him. Whatever parts of him passed the barrier of her skin were dissolved on the spot.

Curiously, he remained conscious till ever last bit of him was inside Yun. If anyone was watching, they would have seen Master Hui scream as he fell into her, slowly, like she was molasses. He sunk and sunk till he was gone, and only the transcendental looking Yun was there. Her eyes shut and lips sealed tight to stifle a moan of pleasure.

She felt him. His mind thrashed around. It was the last piece of him she didn’t yet dissolve and it felt *so* good bouncing around. He was like the tiniest, most insignificant speck in her immensity. His very existence reminded Yun of how huge, how universal she truly was. She was tempted to let him linger there in that confused psychic agony.

Thankfully, she took some of the temple’s training to heart. That desire was a distraction from her goal of complete and absolute wholeness. That mind of his was a piece of hers waiting to be reabsorbed. Yun figured she could recreate everyone for her amusement later, when she was ‘whole’. Till then, she wouldn’t let any distraction hinder her on that path. She had to experience, at least once, what it was like to have all her pieces together.

So, she dissolved Hui’s mind, reabsorbing that last intangible bit of him. Her body shuddered. It was by far the best part of him to digest. It took all her focus not to keel over and start fondling herself. Thankfully, she had the discipline to avoid that distraction as well.

Yun stood up out of her meditation posture and picked up her sandals. The footwear was sucked right into her body, absorbed like any other piece of her. She walked back into the temple barefoot. There were a lot of others to reclaim, after all.