(self.tiny_relationship_advice)

submitted 14 minutes ago by u/itsamike

Me again. I return to you almost a month later a changed man. That first thread I posted got pretty big, and most of you speculated that my lack of responses was due to foul play. You were right. Last time, I spared you most of the details. Today, I spare none. This is the story of how I spent three weeks at the size of an ant and at the mercy of a psychopath.

The next day after posting the thread, I was in town and happened to run into my now ex-girlfriend's sister right after I was done having lunch. She told me that the clock was ticking, and our next "play session" would be coming up in a few days if I hadn't broken up with her sister yet. I told her to go fuck herself and left. A couple hours later, I was back at home and started feeling woozy. I tried calling out to my sister, but I could barely speak. I started panicking because I was getting the same feeling I got when I took that huge shrinking pill doze, except it was way worse. I very quickly shrank down to the point where I felt like I was as tiny as a speck of dust. That fucking bitch had clearly drugged me. How, I have no clue, but I guess she spiked my lunch. I don't remember that part of the day clearly enough to be able to tell when it happened, all I know is it was her.

In any case, it was just my luck that I happened to be standing in the corner of the kitchen and shrank down right into a spider web. A little, teeny, tiny house spider was now the size of a skyscraper and eyeing me up for dinner. By the way, I'm terrified of bugs. The giant monster started approaching me when luckily my sister's dog saw fit to charge right at me and scoop me up in her tongue. Granted, she was also trying to eat me, but I had to deal with one problem at a time. After hanging on to her tongue (good thing I was way smaller than those poor saps my sister inadvertently brought to their doom) and avoiding being swallowed long enough for her to settle down, I snuck out of her mouth and tried getting someplace safe. I was quickly interrupted by my sister's giant foot slamming into me. I was fine, the broken bones come later in the story. I stuck to the ball of her foot for what felt like an eternity before I eventually got peeled off on the rug. I tried booking it under the couch, but I wasn't fast enough and my sister started vacuuming. I'm always the one who has to clean up around the house, but that day of all days she decided to be productive. I got sucked up into the bag and emptied out on the curb. Good thing the garbage truck's compactor becomes less lethal the smaller you are. After a good day and a half's worth of getting dragged around the city in the garbage truck, I finally managed to crawl out and onto the street, and won't you guess where the truck was at? Yep, that fucking bitch's apartment building. Not that I'd know that till a couple hours later.

I was trying to make it across the sidewalk and into a relatively safe corner when a kid spotted me. After asking her to take me to her mommy, I realized who her mom was and thanked my lucky stars she ignored the kid and I had enough time to course correct from this fatal misstep. I told her that her mom did this to me and she agreed to keep me hidden. Even slipped me crumbs to keep me fed and let me hang around in her sock drawer. The next couple of days were pretty okay, seeing as the kid wasn't a sociopath. Plus, when the kid found me I was about to get eaten by a frog, so she made a pretty good first impression saving my life. It wasn't till the mega bitch found me in her sock drawer that shit got real. She said she told me playtime was coming, but she didn't expect me to show up at her house. The next few days I spent lodged in her colon, coming out whenever she had to take a shit and then getting shoved back in soon as she had relieved herself. Eventually she got bored of that (apparently I wasn't squirming enough), and let me spend a few days in her baby's diaper pail. I don't think I've ever thrown up more than I threw up that week, not even that other week beforehand.

Start of week two, she has to empty out the diaper pail and saves me from the garbage truck (yay...), another couple of days of being up her ass and smelling her rancid farts (I have no fucking clue what that woman eats, but she took the vilest shits). One day, she didn't flush. She stood up, wiped her ass, dropped the paper in the bowl and yelled that the toilet was clogged. A couple hours later, the kid that saved me from the frog had to take a shit. Then, the seemingly oldest daughter (how many fucking kids does this woman have? Apparently, three. If there were any others, they mercifully weren't at the apartment) saw me after taking a piss. I was hoping she'd be as friendly as her little sister, but no, she shared in her mom's asshole genes. By which I mean the first thing she did was shove me up hers. She liked farting on me even more than her mom did, if you could believe it. Spent the next day in that brat's intestines, next time she had to take a shit she was with her friends at a sleepover. Her friends were also assholes. Had to judge a farting contest. Well, I say "judge" but they picked the winner all by themselves. Winner got to take me home. Weekend was more of the same nauseating business, same drill of being a butt plug.

Week 3, I get returned to bitch junior and her new hobby is dangling me over her mouth and burping. She occasionally mixed it up with some time under her ass or in her mouth. When she finally got bored, she left me in a jar of baby food. Later in the day, I only barely avoided being eaten and having my remains entombed in a shitty diaper thanks to mega bitch finding me. Same ol' drill of being her anal toy and subsisting on her feces for the next few days. Finally, she tells me she's not sure how much longer the dose is supposed to last, so she lets me loose on the street and wishes me well, reminding me to break up with her sister if I survive. I did indeed manage to survive thanks to finding a safe place to starve. Hobbled my way to a hospital once I grew back a day or two later and got myself patched up. Somehow, I made it out of that torment with just some broken bones and malnutrition. I was pretty thoroughly washed before being set loose, so the only grime they saw on me was what I accumulated surviving in the gutter. The doctors took me a little more seriously than my ex-girlfriend did, maybe cause they found some more evidence of my roughhousing in the exams or something. They at least alerted the cops about mega bitch. I had enough, though. She won, I broke up. No girl's worth this much shit, not when she thinks I'm "being fanciful" and making it all up.