- Text Size +
Story Notes:

Note that all of the people, places, and organizations named in this series are fictional. Monetary figures are also given in a fictional currency; I don't want to have to do the research to estimate what things would cost in real money.

Author's Chapter Notes:

This article is a companion to the collage which you can view at the following address:

https://gs-uploader.jinja-modoki.com/upld-view-document.php?file=/documents/chainorchid/colossus.jpg

STONEPORT — A group of oceanfront homeowners are soliciting donations toward the removal of a snowman they say is a nuisance and a potential safety hazard.

Via campaigns on several crowdfunding platforms, the group seeks to raise a total of seven hundred thousand marks in order to cover the commission of an engineering firm and the rental of bulldozers, excavators, dump trucks, and other heavy equipment.

“We hope the community will join together to tear down this monstrosity and restore the beauty of our shoreline,” said Claus Schmidt, a representative of the homeowner's group, in a video statement accompanying the crowdfunding campaigns.

In addition to blocking ocean views and marring the coastline, the group alleges that the snowman is a danger to nearby properties.

“Those arms just don't look sturdy; any day now they're going to fall down and crush the church like cardboard,” said Mr. Schmidt, referring to the First Episcopal Church, located across the street from the base of the snowman and directly beneath its outstretched right arm.

Not everyone in Stoneport agrees. “I think it's cute,” said Ruth Adelman, a lifelong resident who has declined to support the campaign. “Just the kind of landmark we need to put our town on the map. Maybe instead of tearing it down, we ought to give tours and sell postcards.”

One area man, who asked that his name not be printed, expressed skepticism about the pro-removal group's motives. “Look at those names. It's all the owners of the most expensive houses, the ones right on the water. Why should the rest of us pay out of our pockets to protect their property values?”

In response, Mr. Schmidt emphasized that the campaign aims to benefit the entire community. “You can see that thing from kilometers away in every direction. This is not an issue of one or two or a few houses. It affects everyone.”

The snowman was erected four days ago by a young woman whose identity was unconfirmed until she came forward yesterday.

Baek Seol-mi, a university student, said she was unaware of the controversy until she was alerted by comments on a picture she had posted to her social networking feed. “I was just having fun with my friends over winter break. I didn't know a snowman was such a big deal. I'm really sorry if it caused anyone any trouble.”

When asked if she planned to help remove the snowman Ms. Baek declined, citing obligations related to her studies. “With classes back on, I don't have the time to go all the way back there. I'm sure they can take care of it by themselves. Or just wait for it to melt?”

Ms. Baek did add, however, that she had contributed five marks to the removal campaign.

The crowdfunding campaigns will remain open for the next three weeks. It is estimated that the snowman will, if not removed, remain largely intact at least through late spring or early summer, due to its large volume and high density.

You must login (register) to review.