Somewhere, in a mediocre, bland, and unspecial bed, one man lied awake for two hours before even wanting to move. These two hours were the highpoint of his day.

The man, after a good rest of lying on his bed, made slight movements until he was eventually no longer on his bed. He shuffled to the bathroom, and applied paste to his teeth, cream to his face, and glasses to his eyes. He recognized himself as George Lutz. And he knew he was going to class today.

HER WAY OR THE HALLWAY

George rushed out of the classroom door, running practically for his life. If he could make it from Math to History on time, he could finally feel secure again.

Because of Lutz's truly horrid grades, there were only two classes he really felt secure in, Biology and History. So, in order to get that sweet sweet security, he had to run from his measly 1% in math, to the other side of school, in History. He usually hitched a ride on the heel of Tanya Arellano, and that usually worked out for him. The trouble came when Tanya realized he was there once, so George had since distanced himself from the heel.

George checked his watch as he sped down the halls, and it appeared as if he'd make it with time to spare. He sped thoroughly through the hall, however a dark looming presence fell over him. George could feel it. A sneaker cracked down in front of George, as he was forcefully stopped by a heel.

He looked up, into the threatening eyes that looked down upon him, as he gulped in terror. The demon above him was none other than Jen Freeman, who smiled down on George with a confidently curved mouth. She leaned down and plucked George's coattails from the ground, dangling his body in front of her face. "Well, lookey here, it's my best friend in the whole wide world, George Lutz!" Jen sarcastically offered up. "Say, best bud, I seem to have lost my homework, have you seen it, Georgie?"

George frantically searched his bag, through the countlessly alphabetized folders, and pulled out everything from the folders labeled "For Jen" and handed them to her. Jen took the miniscule papers and in some seconds, the papers grew her size. Jen palmed George in her fist, only letting his head poke out, as she read "her" homework. "You're getting eorse with my handwriting, Spazzo," she commented, “Do you even know what it looks like?” In her concentration, she occasionally scratched herself with the free hand that George occupied, giving George a whiff of all the itchy orifices Jen's body had to offer, from pit to shining crack.

George was eventually pulled in front of her face, where she masqueraded another obnoxious fake smile. "Thank you for finding my papers, Small Fry." Jen then came in for a "kiss" which consisted of phlegm pouring out of Jen's puckered lips onto George's squirming body. George struggled in the mucus and saliva, until he was dropped onto the floor, and Jen left him alone, needing to get to class. Lutz looked at his clothes and talked to himself. "Well at least this is the worst today has been." The bell soon rang, and Lutz limped to History in shame.

ROLE CALL

Drama was an awkward class, and everyone taking the class knew that the class was going to be awkward. However, the way George saw it, it was the only chance he would ever get to have any romantic interaction with Luna, so, he waited with trepidation, as he listened to the Drama teacher, Prof. Young, list off the scene partners for this new play about love.

"Alright, class, I've reviewed your preferences, and I've picked your partners," Young said in a wistful delight.

First period drama was a small class of 8 students. The only other guy in class was Kirkby, who often seemed distracted with something. The fearsome foursome of Luna, Tanya, Bryanna and Madeline were all there, of course, as well as Michelle Park and Jenna Frost. He knew Park was a bit of a Jen Freeman, but she had a pretty bad grade in the class, worse than his. Jenna was pretty inhuman, from what he could tell, so he was hoping he'd get Luna as a partner. Of the four scenes, half of them included kissing scenes. Lutz listened intently as the scenes were called.

"First up, Kate and Marshall on the Fire Escape!" Young announced. It was the only guy-girl scene with no kissing. "Kirkby and Frost!" Kirkby broke from distraction with a solid "Huh?" while Frost looked as if nothing had even happened, as always.

"Next, Bryanna and Madeline in the Shoe Factory, will be played by..." Lutz didn't care about the girl-girl scenes, "Madeline and Bryanna respectively!"

Madeline looked at Bryanna. "This'll be confusing."

"You'll figure it out. Ok, next, Jim and Liana will be played by George..." that part was obvious, it was the last guy part left. But who would the scene partner be? Luna, Tanya and Michelle remained. George crossed his fingers and pled that Luna be his scene partner.

"and Tanya!"

"FUCK!" George palmed his mouth, accidentally letting loose his inner thoughts, gaining attention from the entire room, especially Tanya, who seemed more than a little shocked by George's outburst.

"Sorry, Professor Young," George apologized.

LUTZ AND FOUND

In his spare period, George Lutz, as well as his confidant and fellow anti-socialite Robin McCloud, ran a lost and found center. Often students will lose items when they end up trampled or killed in some way shape or form,and wish for those items back. So, they come to Lutz-McCloud’s.

One day, George was tending to the stand, fantasizing about an orgy. Only a few students came in ever so often. One kid, Travis, always came to the lost and found in search of a hoe, and sure enough, there would always be a hoe in the lost and found. Come to think, George shared no classes with Travis, neither did Robin, and he didn’t seem to hang out with anyone. He didn’t seem to even have a class schedule. Whenever George got a glimpse of Travis his height remained consistent. Oh well, food for another day.

Lutz had just gotten to the point in which Jenna Frost had started to climax in his fantasy. It ended with a tap on his head. It was Robin. “Hey, George,” she said with a sly grin, “I have something you’ll want to see!”

George turned around, and put his right leg over his semi, as Robin whipped out an emerald green book. “What do you have there, Rob?”

“It’s a special someone’s diary! Look at the handwriting!” she egged on with timid excitement. She showed off the front cover. It had a tape on it, which read “My Diary (Not Your’s)” in red Expo marker. Lutz looked at the handwriting but didn’t really recognize it.

“Is it your’s?” he said with a half grimace, forged out of confusion.

Robin pouted and snatched the book. “No, it’s Luna’s!” George’s face contorted.

“Luna’s? No. This is Luna’s,” George bent down and rummaged through a bin before pulling out a blue journal that was wickedly bent, with the inscription “Luna Rivers: Science” written on it in black Sharpie permanent marker. “Look at how much more refined the curves are on the folder than on the book,” George pointed out.

Robin’s face squinted at the differences. “Ok, then we should open it up and see who it is.”

“Sorry, Rob, that goes against my moral code, and the rules of our establishment. ‘Sides, who wants to read someone else’s diary,” Lutz shrugged off.

“What if it’s a girl that likes one of us?” Robin offered quizzically.

“Girls don’t like us,” Lutz shot back, “I’m not reading the book.”

“Well, I am. And if the girl who wrote it likes you, I might tell you,” she said walking away, before turning back, “If you’re nice!” she said, with sarcasm aplenty in her tone. Lutz brushed her off, uncrossed his legs, and put his face into his hand and began fantasizing again.

“Hiya, George, nice stiffy, bro! Yo, ya seen my hoe anywhere?”

 

 

 

Hope you like it!



YOUNG LOVES YOUNG LOVE

George Lutz had gotten himself into a slight pickle. His exuberant over-reaction in drama had landed him in hot water with the nerdy, yet vicious Tanya Arellano. They hadn't spoken since they were paired, but the tension held by the green haired tower of person and the meek bug of a man was felt in the long silence.

George didn't want to speak first, and Tanya was just waiting for the moment to strike. Everyone had already gotten to going through their scene, but George was stalling as long as he could.

Then Ms. Young came.

"George, Tanya, I sense some tension. Come on, you two have the most romantic scene in the production! You have to like each other a little!" As far as icebreakers went, the ice between the actors was uncracked. "This animosity is great! Because once you overcome your mutual distastes, you can have a stronger relationship!" Young could encourage, but Lutz was a fearful man, and Tanya was a woman who could hold a grudge.

"Look, I'll give you two participation points if I can get one good kiss for the day. Then after that, just stare all you want." Young was really pushing this. She scooped Lutz off the floor, and put his face to Tanya's lip level. "Just one's enough."

George looked at the large whales of lips, slightly chiseled at by the cold, and decided to finally say something. "Look, Ms. Young, this is really awkward, and it's my first kiss and all an-"

"Your first kiss?!" Young gasped. She palmed Tanya's cranium and grinded her face into George, as the neck of Lutz performed Herculean feats of strength in an attempt to stay alive, until Tanya pulled away. Lutz saw green lipstick on his face, clothes, and Ms. Young's hand. "That was good, George. Look shocked."

The educator placed Lutz into Tanya's hand. "Now Tanya, you plant the kiss. Look less shocked." Tanya and George looked at each other. Before Tanya's mouth grew devil horns on its sides, as her mouth neared into George and pressed down on his face, sucking in air, as spit trickled down her cheeks onto George's face.The more Lutz gasped, the more water he took in. The water didn't taste fresh, as it was saliva and amylase. George pushed up on her chin, kicking in the direction of her neck, making no blows. George felt his world fade under the overtaking lips, as his legs slowed down, and his breath was unable to move to his hemoglobins. George slumped, prompting Tanya to let go, allowing George to fall onto the blue linoleum floor, hitting the back of his leg with a snapping crunch.

After a mere moment of one small body without a hint of a pulse, George gasped for air, coughing out Tanya's excess spittle that she had pumped into him, gagging at the invasion of his mouth, feeling up his leg's injury.

"Great! Now that's a conversation starter!" Young walked away, leaving Tanya looking down upon George, with a wet face, gasping for air, puking out the larger one's drool onto the floor, as he struggled.

"So, why do you hate me?" Tanya asked, intimidatingly.

"I... I-I don't! I just w-wanted someone else to be my partner," George said as generally as possible, still sputtering

"Someone else? Like Luna?!" She said, prodding at George's stomach, causing spit to leak from Lutz jowls.

"N-n-no! Never!" George lied, in pain, out of breath.

"Never? Why? Isn't she attractive enough for you, you Klutz?" Tanya interrogated.

"No! She's out of my league! Really! I just wanted someone else! I promise Tanya, please! I only have five cards left!" George pleaded.

"You know something, George, you're real sleazy, and you're real pathetic," Tanya said, continually poking at George's stomach.

"Y-y-y-ye-yes! I'm pathetic! I am! I am the filth that wishes to get stuck on your boot, only so I can get the personal treatment of you scrubbing me off with a dirty tissue! I am beneath you! Please!" George threw out anything.

Tanya squinted at George, and pressed her thumb down on his head, pressing one ear to the floor. "You know what, George, when you jack off to this exact moment later, just know that no matter what, you're not worth my time. Stay away from Luna, punk." Tanya released George's head from her grasp, and walked away.

Where was Ms. Young for that little number?


RURAL JOURNAL

"Yo, yo, yo, it's my main man, George Clooney, ah, yo, speaking of lost, you seen my-"

The hard clank of a hoe reverberated in the hallway. "Do you ever lose anything else, Travis?"

"I don't have much to lose sadly. But thanks for the hoe, Joe. See ya on the flipside, George Washington!" Lutz placed his hand on Travis' arm.

"Say, Travis," he said, as he looked into his eyes worriedly and with concern. "You worship Satan?"

Travis, with mild confusion, responded, "No, why, do you?"

Lutz took his arm off, and casually offered, "Just wondering, man." Travis nodded, and went off, when Robin just so happened to storm in right after.

"Was that Travis?" Robin strained out, as she loaded in a large crate of long lost knick knacks.

"You bet," Lutz chimed in, with a slight smirk.

"Did you ask him?" Robin asked with hope.

"Yes. And someone owes me 15 dollars!" Lutz put his hand out.

"Damn! Not even a little devil worship?" Robin scrounged around in her pocket and pulled out a torn and ripped ten, and a relatively decent five, and palmed it into George's open hand. "Aren't you the least bit curious about who he is?"

"If it gets me paid, he could be Northend in prosthetics for all I care," George said as he pocketed the loot. "Say, have you seen any bibles turn up recently?"

"Bibles? I didn't think kids here were religious..." she said as she quickly double checked around the shelves, before her mind clinked up a memory. "Say, remember that journal I found?"

Lutz sighed. "Vaguely, I remember you insisting it was Luna's and deciding to invade the author's privacy." Vaguely was a liberal word in the Lutz dictionary.

"Well, I have good news and bad news, concerning the journal," Robin said cringely. "Good news is, the author really does like you quite a bit."

Lutz spun around quickly, knocking his own chair down with a crash. "WHAT?!" He said, on the ground, struggling back up.

"Hold on Horny Hank, here's the bad news, and it's, rather bad," Robin unveiled.

"Rob, I've had a go to fantasy about most people in this school. I don't see a negative outcome," George put out foolishly.

"It's Jen Freeman."

George's eyes widened, sporadically pacing as he thought this over.

"And it's not really a crush, it's more of an obsession."

"Rob, what does that even mean?" George inquired. His mind raced with ideas of Jen of all people masturbating to him, of all people.

"See, she has a full blown crush on Daniel Knight, but she has a weird couple paragraphs about you. Hold on," Robin retreated to the back storage room, clanked and clinked a bit in there, and returned with the journal. She opened it up and flipped through, and searched for an example. "Ah, here." She fingered about at one page.

"Toying with George is some of the best times I'll ever have, and I can't say I do it all. George is the opposite of a man. He's a grimey and pathetic little geek. He's submissive, he's scared, he's tense, and it's because of those reasons that I love to torture him. I like to hurt him because he's designed to cater to my punches. He's cool like that" (Freeman 78).

George's eyes hadn't grown smaller the more and more he heard. But the fact that he got a whole paragraph or more in her life story showed how much of an effect he had on her.

It was also pretty goddamn creepy.


BASKETBALL

George, because of his burning lust, had always wanted to be paired with Luna for anything, but pure statistical science meant it didn't happen often, but it also meant it happened occasionally.

And even if Luna was ginormous in PE, and Lutz was utterly miniscule, he could play basketball with her anyday.

Besides, they fixed up basketball so that the balls would change size faster, so hopefully Lutz could actually show off his skills to Luna this time. They had been paired up, and the introductions were simple, toss the ball to each other gently. Lutz started off. This is your chance George, don't mess this up. He looked up to the massive Luna, the pungent odor of her sole taking up the entire aroma, and with all his might, George sent the ball up, as Luna lowered her hand to her knee, the ball hit her palm, and in a slick second, it became massive.

"Whoo!" Lutz offered. Luna sent back a cool smile, as she held her ball in front of her chest and pushed it forward down, and the massive ball slammed down onto George crushing every bone in his body and leaving him as a smear at an instant's notice.

----------------------------------------

"George Lutz, you have four death cards remaining."

Lutz always wondered what that boring receptionist's name was. He guessed it was Sandpaper Woman. It seemed fitting. He had no actual clue, though.