Three Months Later – ThursdayEight inches.
Seventy-five pounds. That was the
toll so far, six months in. This was
hardly atypical; all men had lost roughly this amount, give or take. But while so many of them seemed content to ‘accept
it’ and ‘make do’, Theo Atwater could not!
For him, every missing pound was a bitter affront, every inch an insult. His pride would not permit him to sit back
and do nothing!
And perhaps his investment had paid off after all. Maybe his arms were a bit bulkier today as they swung at his side; perhaps a touch
more liveliness in his legs as he crossed the basement floor with brisk
purpose. The bottle had stated he was
“guaranteed to see results by the fifth day”; so the lack of gains the last few
days meant nothing. Today, Day 5, was
the only one that mattered.
Damn… eight inches might not sound like all that much, until
you’re staring up at your old height markings on the wall. And today the old six foot six line still looked
as high and unattainable as ever. But wars
were not won in a day. Even if the pills
only gained him a fraction of an inch each day, he’d get there eventually.
The pencil marking from yesterday stood just a hair’s
breadth above the 5’10” line. Turning,
straightening, lining up the measurement with methodical care, he made the
familiar *scritch scritch* of pencil
against tape then quickly spun around to observe.
Not one mil higher.
No increase at all.
Confounded, incensed, he marched onto the scale. Height wasn’t everything. His weight might still be—
“A half-pound lighter?!”
The pencil sailed across the room. The empty bottle followed it a moment later,
clattering off the wall amidst a colorful flurry of curses. ‘EZ-Max
Special Grow, for Men!’—sure, it was the sketchiest-sounding one yet, but still
friggin’ worth a shot! And yet again,
he’d gotten his hopes up, too.
As he angrily looked for something else to throw, footsteps
thudded on the top of the stairs above.
A pair of ankles and three-inch black heels came into view. “Theo?” called the already-impatient Lola.
His hackles rose.
Another high heels day. Third day
this week. She knew darned how he felt
about that.
“Yeah? What?”
“I need you to pick up my suit from the dry cleaners today.”
Pfft. “Well, I’ve got a lot to do on the yard. Plus a new client this afternoon.”
*Thump Thump* The lower half of two sizeable calves now
appeared. “Yes, but I can’t make it there
before it closes. And I need the suit for tomorrow—you know I
have that meeting.”
“A meeting?”
“What? I’ve mentioned
it how many times this week? The meeting
with the board of directors… The one where I’ll be presenting …”
In all honesty, her various meetings tended to all jumble
together in his mind—if he was listening at all. “Oh,” he fudged. “Yeah, of course.”
“So you’ll get it?”
No doubt she had her arms crossed and that hard-set look on her face.
“If I have time.”
“Theo, if we’re going to keep living together—“
“Yes, of course I’ll get it!”
Her legs lingered momentarily then disappeared. He could hear those confounded heels tapping
on the floor above him as she headed to the garage.
‘If…’? Sometimes it felt like she was only still
living here so he could run her errands for her. She claimed things were equitable, yet she
never seemed to have time to take care of things herself. Even at night, there was always another email
to reply to or an important memo to compose.
Never time for him. And certainly
never for sex!
At least she hadn’t inspected the bottle that had settled at
the foot of the stairs. The first time
he’d bought a male growth product off the internet, she’d called it a ‘huge waste of money’. What would she say now, if she knew he’d
tried four more brands since then? ‘Desperate,’ no doubt. ‘Preposterous.’
But, hey, there was real reason to think it could work. Companies—legit ones—had already accomplished
the opposite: making women grow even bigger, and men even smaller. Something about ‘enhancing the EGAD-induced
molecular destabilization’ and using ‘targeted reagents’ and … whatever the
science-y mumbo jumbo, there were a number of such products already on the
market. From the generic EGAD Enhancer or EGAD-Plus, to the more
colorfully-named and gender-specific
She-Hulk Serum and Longer Taller
Sally; or the harder-to-find Man-Miniaturizer
and Compact Carl.
Apparently they were popular as jokes or gag gifts. Watch a guy shrink several inches before your
eyes? Or a girl grow? Sounded awful to Theo—and very expensive. And yeah, they were all temporary, but you
were still stuck like that for several days before it wore off. Of course, then there were the nut-jobs who
took those pills regularly, to stay that size all the time. He’d never met anyone rich or wacko enough to
do such a thing, but supposedly they did exist.
But countering the
effects of EGAD turned out to be much harder.
Every week you’d hear reports that such-and-such random, sketchy-named
company had figured it out, beating Big Pharma to the punch… ‘And buy now, before supplies run out!’ Elaine might think Theo was a sucker for
buying into them, but she missed the point.
Theo would not, could not just sit back and let himself wither
away. He’d do darned near anything to
get his size back, even just a little of it.
And if that meant sinking a good chunk of his savings into any pills he
could find, and risk some extra grouchiness along the way, then so be it!
* * *
Jen Atwater pulled into a parking spot in front of her
high school and clutched the steering wheel nervously. People had already started teasing her for her
changing appearance at the end of the school year a month ago; and now at the
start of summer school, the situation was even worse. It had seemed like such a good idea to sign
up for a summer class and get one of her electives out of the way. It’d make her senior year that much easier. But she regretted it now!
And, of course, her dad was too stubborn to let her
un-enroll: ‘I’m Theo Atwater, and no
daughter of mine will run from a challenge!’
Ugh, he was so annoying!
Fortunately there were only a couple classes going during
the summer, and the halls right now were almost empty, so--
*Bbbbriinnggg!!*
Dang. Jen set her long, spindly legs in motion
and found her classroom as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, her teacher
was already talking.
"... this is a seniors-only summer school, for students
18 years old or older.”
A girl raised her hand.
“Why, Mr. Walker?”
“It’s for legal reasons.”
“But—“
“Just rest assured: everyone here is 18 or older. Got that?
18 or older.”
The blue eyed girl blinked.
“Geez, OK. I got it.”
“OK then. Now that that’s established: class is 10 AM to
noon, Monday through Friday. Attendance
is—“
Jen didn’t catch the door.
It swung shut loudly behind her, drawing the whole class’s gaze.
"What timing," Mr. Walker deadpanned.
"I was just about to say that attendance is 30 percent of the grade, and
points are deducted for tardiness. What is your name, young
lady?" He opened up his attendance book on the podium.
“Ooooh,” a few voices called, as Jen squirmed.
"Young lady?" Mr. Walker repeated.
Her face was the color of roses now. "Jen," she
muttered quickly.
"Jen who?"
"Jen Atwater."
*Scritch! Scritch!* Mr. Walker’s pen scratched loudly on the roll
sheet in the shape of an ‘X’. "Alright,
sit there.”
Front and center? The
worst seat of all! She heard more
snickers as she slunk into her seat. "Can't see!" the boy
behind her complained, as a finger poked her back. "Freaking spider girl!"
Chuckles abounded. "Spider
girl," someone else repeated.
Just a minute in, and already a new nickname. Jen cringed dismally. She was 5’7” now—not super tall at all. The problem was, she had been skinny even two
months ago at 5’0”, and she’d hardly gained a single pound since! Like some sort of Stretch Armstrong doll. The doctors said not to worry; she’d fill out
eventually. But when? Gawd, she was skinny!
She could almost feel her classmates’ eyes on the back of
her head, silently laughing at her skinny neck and bony shoulders and twig-like
arms. She focused as best she could on
Mr. Walker as he discussed the class outline.
‘Life Management Skills’… how to balance a checkbook, how to stay
healthy, all sorts of random stuff like that.
It was a required elective class, but was sure to be booooring.
Stealing glances left and right, she recognized many of the
classmates around her. Geez… they say guys’
and girls’ heights were almost completely flip-flopped now, with the average
girl being five, maybe six inches taller than the average guy. But it was even weirder when it was people
she knew. To her left was Gerald, a guy
on the football team who was once a whole foot taller than her; but now, was he
taller than her at all? And Adam,
another jock behind him, was even shorter still. Skinnier, too.
But not all were skinny.
The boy behind her was short but squat, with brown curly hair and mean
eyes. Probably a little over five feet
tall. No wonder he couldn’t see. She quickly turned away under his harsh
scowl...
But wow, look how lanky Stephanie is. And Naomi—geez, her arms! Does she work out? And—
“Whoa.” Jen’s eyes went wide as she saw the three bombshells in the far left row. Their looks, their makeup, their clothes—they were in an entirely
different stratosphere! Jen had never
seen anyone like them at this school.
Except…
Wait. “Is that Maggie?” Jen whispered. “And Ella?!” She hadn’t even recognized them at first. Last year they were already two of the
prettiest, most popular girls in school—but
look at them now!
At least the third girl was new here. She had to be. Because she was even taller, even more
stunning than the first two. And—
“Perhaps keeping one’s
ears cleaned is another topic we need to discuss.”
Jen turned to find Mr.
Walker staring right at her. Aghh!
“I-I—“
“We’re going over the
class outline, young lady. Section 1:
Health and Wellbeing – if you’re not too bored to follow along!”
Before she could cringe… “Look,
Spider Girl, there’s a section on eating and nutrition!” The mean boy poked her in the back. “That one’s all for you!”
Ack! “I eat plenty!”
But they were already
laughing again…
“Bradley, that’s enough,”
the teacher gruffed. “That goes for you
too, Jen.”
It was official—this
summer couldn’t be starting any worse.
* * *
Jen stayed in her seat after class, waiting for the main
wave of students to file out before she cautiously got up. Keeping her head down and avoiding all eye
contact, she crammed her stuff into her backpack, turned, and—
The three bombshells whooshed by, the new girl’s strong-looking
shoulder gliding right past Jen’s nose!
The three of them were huge—even taller than she’d expected! They—whoa, they were each wearing heels. High, spiky heels … in class?! The strut and swagger in their steps; their
tight, short-hemmed dresses… They looked like they belonged on a modeling
runway, not at a school!
Jen trailed out after them, still amazed. The trio glided so smoothly down the halls,
not even seeming to notice the lesser beings around them. Geez… they—
*Bzzz*
Jen checked her phone.
“Crap!” She’d totally forgot
about Amir—her best friend, whom she hadn’t seen in over a month, whom she
really should have been more excited to see again…
Doubling back, she reached the courtyard a few minutes late and—
“Well, I feel like
a midget.”
Jen’s surprise turned quickly into a bubbling laugh. Her friend was even shorter now but had the
same goofy grin as always.
“Um, that's cuz you ARE," she joked.
"Hey!" he protested, retaliating with a swift
punch to the side of her bony ribcage.
"Yow!" She winced, clutching her side.
"Eee! Sorry! I meant to hit your arm!"
he said, distraught. "I just have terrible aim!"
The spot was still tender – with no natural padding to
protect her, it had hurt quite a bit. "That's OK ... there's really not
much arm to hit," she said, looking ruefully at her twig arms.
“But at least they’re long!”
Amir, ever cheerful, grinned and stretched his arm out. Jen took his cue and stooped to bring hers
alongside. "Holy moley!" he
exclaimed, pressing his fingernails against her forearm, an inch or two short
of her wrist. "Hey, if I ever need to reach anything, I know who to
ask!"
She almost smiled, but… “Whatever it would be, I’d be too
weak to lift it.”
Her friend seamlessly shrugged. "You’ll grow into
it. And who cares! I think it's cool you're tall."
OK, this time his grin won her over. “Thanks, Amir. Thanks for not judging me and stuff.”
They started walking to the parking lot. "Judging you?" Amir asked,
struggling to keep up.
Jen winced and shortened her strides for him.
"Nothing. Just some guys in my class. Stupid jocks."
"Stupid jocks," Amir intoned. After a moment, they
looked at each other and laughed.
"Yeah, I guess we're kinda jocks too," Jen
acknowledged.
"But not like them!"
"Yeah. Agreed."
Both of them were on the track and field team – and despite
being the team’s shortest members, at five feet tall apiece, they were some of
the best and most well-rounded competitors out there. “Natural athletes,” their coach always
complimented. Jen loved watching Amir at
competitions, seeing his short legs motoring on and beating boys half a foot
taller than him or more. Jen herself
wasn’t the best at any one thing; but over time she’d picked up pole vaulting, triple
jumping, long-distance running … she had a knack for pretty much anything she
tried.
"Hmm," she said, as they turned down the next
sidewalk.
"What?"
"We haven't raced in a while."
After a moment, Amir's eyes lit up. "You're on!"
"To the deli?"
"Yeah!"
They dropped off their backpacks in their cars and walked to
the edge of school property. A couple other students were within eyesight, but
Jen didn't really care so much now that she was with her friend.
"Ready?" she asked.
"Set?" Amir chimed.
"Go!" they declared in unison, sprinting down the
sidewalk with glee.
To Jen's amazement, she actually stayed with him at first!
But after a few seconds, her legs started to get tired and Amir steadily pulled
ahead at a faster and faster rate. "Hey! Come back!" she called out,
laughing, as he pulled into a ten foot lead, eventually more like fifteen foot,
by the time they reached the deli at the end of the block.
She propped a hand against the wall of the store as she came
to a stop.
"Tired?" he asked, still grinning.
The cardio was fine for her; no big deal. The problem was her limbs; her lack of muscles. “My legs feel like jelly,” she lamented. Even her arms felt wobbly now from the
exertion. Too lanky for their own good. “Gawd, I’m so weak!”
“Huh. Yeah, but you
had me sweatin’ there for a sec. Those
long legs!”
She felt the tug of a smile, even as she swayed. “Yeah, I guess it’s not all bad. Um… how ‘bout you? How’re you doing with the… changes?”
“Me? I'm actually
fine with it. For one thing, being
lighter helps a little with running, so I've really only lost a step or two.”
He grinned. "And hey, all guys are in the same boat, right? Or gonna be
soon."
"Hmm." Jen nodded. It was still so weird to
think about, though. "Umm..." she began cautiously, "how long
you think it's gonna last? In general, I mean. This whole shrinking
and growing thing."
Amir put his hands up. "Beats me! I
guess we'll just get used to it, whatever happens."
Dang. If only Jen had
his positivity…
Urghh… The door to
the deli was stuck, as usual. Trying
again with two hands, her arms shaking…
“Eek!” It came unstuck
and nearly knocked her on her butt—except Amir was there to catch her.
“Stupid door!” they laughed in unison, as they always
did. Jen regained her balance and smiled
down at her weirdly short friend. “Thanks bud,” she said, holding the door for him.
“You betcha,” he said up at her with a cheerful glint in his
eye.
***
Jen’s dad was on her already the moment she stepped out of
her car. “It's 1:30," he griped,
wiping sweat from his brow with his even sweatier forearm. "You were
supposed to get here at 1:00, missy."
"Sorry, I was having lunch with Amir."
"I don’t care if it was with the Pope. In this family, when you make a promise to
someone, you keep it!"
Great. The hot sun
and hard work apparently made him even more
of a jerk. And lately he’d been even
grumpier and harder on her than ever.
Minutes later, with gloves on and a new change of clothes,
she grasped the handles of the mulch-filled wheelbarrow, and heaved upward,
and…
“Going slow isn’t going to get you any pity!” her dad called
from across the yard.
“I’m trying!”
"Try harder!"
"It’s too heavy!”
But if he noticed the wheelbarrow shaking, he didn’t show
it. Just watched her sternly.
She got it rolling in a straight line okay. But the moment she tried to turn it, the
wheelbarrow capsized and spilled the mulch—and her—onto the lawn.
“Dag gummit!” Dad called, striding toward her with two hands
on his hips. “What a mess.”
“I’m fine, by the way,” Jen grumbled, picking herself up and
dusting her jeans. “I tried to tell
you—it’s too heavy for me!”
Dad grunted, frowned.
“Evidently, yes. I suppose I’ll
have to give you something more within your capabilities.” He handed her the rake. “I’ll
move the mulch. You just spread it
around. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?”
Jen grumbled and started this more manageable task under
Dad’s annoyingly watchful eye. It
brought to mind the talk show she’d heard the other day, joking about the ‘pandemic
of Napoleon complexes’ that had broken out among men. The more they’ve shrunk, the more loudly they
need to assert their masculinity. That
seemed true for Dad too. Jen was shorter
and way weaker than him, but plenty of other women were probably—
“Hey, pick up the pace, young lady!”
Jen groaned. “Oui, monsieur.”
“What?”
“Nothing!”
* * *
Theo rolled his eyes on his way in. Jen’s lackadaisical attitude this past hour
was yet another disappointment. But now
he had to get to this appointment. It’d
been a bit since he’d found a new client, and he sure as heck didn’t want to be
late.
‘We’re moving in a
different direction.’ That’s what
the new regional manager at the gym had said to him, once she’d finally had the
guts to fire him—and Chad at the same time.
‘You’re not the right fit for us
anymore’. Why? Because they had Y chromosomes?
Two months ago, and it still rankled him. After that, his part-time personal training
became his full-time job, and business was good for a while. Great, even.
Plenty of guys wanted to stay fit but would rather hire a trainer than
go to the gyms. But, oddly, business had
really petered out lately. Maybe there
were simply more trainers now, catching up with demand. Or … well, more and more guys seemed to ask
him about cardio these days. Calisthenics, even! Was strength training going out of style among
men? Preposterous!
This new client, Ned: they’d met in line at a coffee shop
last week, and he’d seemed like a normal enough guy. Though, the dude did order a low-sugar almond
milk peppermint Frappuccino, so … who knows.
But heck, a job was a job.
As he drove up to Ned’s address, Theo whistled softly. This friggin’ mansion was probably three times the size of his home, with
huge windows and fancy awnings and the like.
Had to be worth well into seven figures, easily. As he drove up, a woman was out front
trimming the pristine row of hedges and weeding the elaborate garden. “Hello,” he greeted, walking up to her. “Are—“
Whoa. Those biceps were serious. And as she rose,
and turned… It wasn’t often that he found himself eye level with a woman’s chin.
“Can I help you?” her surprisingly gruff voice asked. “Or are you just going to stare?”
The blatant assertiveness caught him off-guard. He blinked.
Women didn’t often speak like that, in days past. And they never had such well-muscled legs,
either, glistening from a hard day’s labor.
“Sorry,” he recovered, extending his hand. “I’m Theo – the personal trainer. Are you Lola?”
The woman looked wryly at his hand. “You serious?
Can’t you see the logo?” She
pointed to the emblem of her lawn care company on the breast pocket of her
shirt.
“Oh. Sorry. Most lawn guys are guys, so I—“
“Riiight. Let’s see a
man try to lug this equipment around all day.”
Indeed, the power tools piled in her truck bed did look rather heavy—for
some men.
“I could do it.” He crossed his arms.
“You? Hphh.
For now, maybe.”
The rudeness! Who the hell--!?
“Good day, Miss,” he growled and moved on. She wasn’t worth it. God… some people were so friggin’ arrogant.
He knocked on the large front door and it opened to a friendly
face—on a rather diminutive frame.
“Theo! Thanks for coming, man!”
Ned greeted, shaking his hand enthusiastically.
“Hey, Ned. How ya
doin’.”
“Good, good! ... You
OK?”
Was Theo’s scowl that obvious? “Rude gardener.” He shrugged.
“Rude? Oh, sorry
man. I guess she takes some getting used
to.” Ned’s slim arm waved across the
yard. “Looking good, Carmen!” He gestured Theo inside. “She’s a friend of ours. And a great workout buddy.”
Theo’s brow rose. “You
work out—with her?” That woman was easily a foot taller than Ned;
darned near twice his weight…
Ned shook with laughter.
“Little ol’ me, with these spindly arms?
Noooo way, man. She and my wife,
Lola.”
“Oh.” His wife—No, don’t ask. “Well, they won’t be spindly for long, with
me around. Shall we?”
Ned happily led him across the foyer with its high-vaulted
ceilings, into the expansive kitchen with pots and pans hanging everywhere and
counter space galore. “Want anything?”
he asked, opening the large French doors of the stainless steel fridge. “Juice?
Water?” He nodded to the
counter. “There’s also fruit – and a
galette I baked this morning.” He
chuckled. “Maybe save that one till after the workout, eh?”
The hell is a
‘galette’? “You bake, huh?”
“Oh yeah. I love it.”
Odd. “I’m good,
thanks.”
“Cool. So, our gym’s
just ahead.”
‘Just ahead’? Ned led
him through two big living areas, past a study, down another hallway, and…
“Holy smokes,” Theo exhaled.
“Ha! I know, right?”
Geez… ten—no, twelve different weight machines stood before
them: a beautiful, brand-new lat machine, an elaborate cable tower, a
full-sized smith machine; on and on. Then there was the impressive array of free
weights, more than even he knew what to do with. He didn’t care much for treadmills, stationary
bikes, and ellipticals, but the gym even had those too. Everything was professional-caliber; the real
deal. All shiny and new. And plenty of floor space to spare.
“I thought my home
gym was big,” Theo muttered, awestruck.
“Just had it built a couple weeks ago.” Ned beamed.
“It’s my wife’s pride and joy.”
“And yours too, naturally.”
“Me? Well, nah, I’ve never
been into gyms much. Lola got it for
herself. But she said I should get in
better shape, so I figured I’d give it a shot – and here we are!”
“Wait.” Theo’s eyes
swept the room. “This was all for your
wife?”
“Uh huh.”
“You don’t even lift?”
“Not yet!”
Yikes. All Theo could think to say was, “How much do
you guys make?”
Ned laughed. “My
wife’s a vice president at a pretty big company … so yeah, she makes a ton.”
“And you?” Theo inquired.
Ned flashed a grin. “My
wife makes the money. I make the
galettes. And the rib roasts, and the cheese
soufflés; and I keep the house clean … I’m a stay-at-home husband!”
Well, that threw
Theo for a loop. “…You mean, by choice?”
“Yeah! Lola was
making so much more than me that my old job just wasn’t worth it. Now, from here, I can support her in all
kinds of ways that I just couldn’t before.”
Theo blinked as his view of Ned rapidly changed…
Ned laughed. “I know,
I know. It sounded bananas to me too, at
first. But if you saw Lola, you’d get
it. She’s incredible. … Hey, actually, you might see her. She gets home in about an hour.”
No offense, but Theo had no particular desire to stick
around for that. He looked at the
clock—already five past. “Well, let’s
get started.”
* * *
If you’re looking for an easygoing, namby-pamby trainer,
Theo is not your guy. His philosophy:
make every second count. Listen well, go
hard, and give one hundred and thirteen percent. The going will get tough, but man up and get
it done. All-in.
As it turned out, this galette-baking homemaker was tougher
than he seemed. He didn’t know a bench
press from a barbell curl, but the quickly-fatigued novice fought through it
the entire hour with surprising enthusiasm.
“… Five more reps … C’mon, man, push it … Push it! … Three … Two … Last one! …” Theo clapped vigorously. “YES!
That’s what I’m friggin’ talking about!
Good shit, man!” He took the ten-pound
dumbbells from Ned’s weary hands and bumped his fist. “Alright.
That’s it for today. Nice start.”
“Nice start?!” With a tired wheeze, Ned took two wobbling
steps and collapsed on the bench. He
lifted his water bottle halfway to his mouth before his arm gave out and
dropped the bottle in his lap.
Theo chuckled. “First
day’s always the worst. Don’t worry—your
body’ll get used to it.”
“Then it’ll get easier?”
He grinned. “Oh,
no. Then I can push you harder.”
“Geez, man, you are tough!”
“You’re damned right.”
He cast a nod at those shining towers of metal across the room. “Maybe next time I can introduce you to some
of those, huh?”
“Those big machines?
Oh… OK. But maybe the bikes and
treadmills too?”
Theo arched his brow.
To him, cardio always felt like a waste of time, when there were weights
to be lifted instead. But… “Sure—whatever’ll
make my client happy.” He rephrased: “Of
course. We could squeeze in a bit of
that, too.”
Once Ned had finagled the water bottle to his mouth, he
quickly emptied it.
“Refill?” Theo offered
his hand.
“Nah, the faucet here’s not hooked up yet. I’ll go to the kitchen.” But he stopped halfway up to catch his
breath.
“I don’t mind.”
“OK, thanks.”
On the way, something inside the lavishly-appointed study
caught Theo’s eye. Atop the strangely
oversized desk, on the back of the two jumbo-sized monitors, was a big, red
letter ‘A’ with a rightward swoosh over a field of silver. A notepad on the desk had the same logo on it,
as did the clock on the wall.
It took him all of a half-second for recognition to hit him. Apogee
Biotechnology Corporation. One of
the biggest biotech companies to have emerged in the last six months. Their Apo-Amplifier
products were supposedly some of the best—and most expensive—‘EGAD enhancers’
out there.
Wait… Is that where Ned’s wife worked? Companies like Apogee—their entire revenue
was based on making men shrink and women grow.
What kind of looney-brained wackadoo would work at a place like that? And… and would such a person take her
company’s products herself?
He moved with perhaps a bit more urgency now, striding into the
kitchen, refilling Ned’s water in the unusually high sink … and as he shut the
faucet off, a muffled thud was heard—that of a car door swinging shut.
Having seen the images on the news, of women’s bodies so scandalously
‘enhanced’, a lesser man would have been nervous now. As a nearby door opened and heavy footsteps echoed,
such a man might gutlessly try to hide around that corner over there, or slink
away unseen.
But Theo Atwater stood his ground, obviously. Why would he
worry? Even as the footsteps grew
nearer, and louder…
Louder.
Heavier.
“Holy…!” Air rushed from his lungs as an absolute hulk of a woman filled the doorway. Arms enormous and shoulders broad. Full, round bosom and thick, shapely legs. The largest, strongest woman he’d ever seen
in real life—by a country mile.
“Well, what do we have here?” her surprisingly deep voice
hummed. “An intruder, in my own house?”
Theo fell uncharacteristically speechless as the woman
started toward him. He felt an
unexpected sense of vertigo as he craned his neck farther upward than ever
before. She wore high heels; but still,
his face was practically in her bosom. Cripes, she stood close! Aggressively, nerve-rattlingly close.
“Uh…”
“Shall I count to five?”
Her jaw set firmly; her brow arched sharply.
What?? He took two long steps back. “Look, lady, I-I’m not a…”
Oh hell—she rolled
up her sleeves to reveal forearms as thick as his thighs.
*Gulp*
Her fingers interlocked, cracking her knuckles as she determinedly
strode toward him, re-closing the distance.
He was one breath from bolting for the door, when: “Lola, be
nice—he’s my guest!”
Ned had come up behind him—and now Lola’s bellowing laugh
flooded the room. She stood with folded
arms and a cocky smirk. “I know, dear. Just having a bit of fun.”
Ned ambled forward, chuckling, “Sorry, Theo, my wife has a odd sense of humor.”
“Hmph!” Lola’s eyes appraised the newcomer. “So this is Theo, then?” She came at him again, her heels thudding,
her surreally large arm reaching … and his hands shot up on the defensive.
“I’m not gonna hurt ya,” she throatily laughed. “I just like to shake anyone’s hand who comes
into my house.”
A rare sight: proud Theo blushed. “Oh.” He
eased his hunched shoulders and shook her very
big hand…
Yo! Her fingers squeezed down like a goddamned
vise!
“Mmm. Nice, firm
handshake,” she praised. “I like that.”
Was she mocking, or serious?
‘Cuz the vise kept tightening...
She released him and cocked her head. “You needn’t be so shy.”
Shy? He—Oof, his hand stung. “I’m not shy,” he insisted, as he fought off
a wince.
“He wasn’t that way with me!” Ned chimed oh-so-helpfully. As he stepped up to his wife, their size
difference was appalling. Surreal. His head fit under her breasts. These two are married??
“Honey, no one is
shy around you.” She chuckled, slipping
her hands under Ned’s armpits and—what
the…?—she levitated him two feet off the ground! Brought his lips straight to hers for a
kiss. “Mmm…” Now a longer kiss. “Hi, honey.” And even some brief tongue … which
she only seemed to stop because she noticed Theo staring. Her husband, now back on the ground, clung to
her side with a great big grin—all the more as his wife tousled his hair.
Yikes. The sheer ease with which she lifted him; the
way her arms swelled like melons; the unexpected, awkward PDA…
“How was your workout, sugarplum?” her deep voice hummed.
“Fantastic! Theo really
kicked my butt.”
“Did he? Splendid.” The hulking businesswoman started feeling up
her husband’s arms. “Hmm… I don’t feel any muscles,” she drolly teased, squeezing
and prodding along.
“Well, not yet,”
the man protested with lively squirms. Even
when he tried to flex, his wife’s fingers still sank into his flesh like it was
soft butter.
Ahem. “I’ll, uh, see myself out,” Theo called,
turning quickly, before this behemoth broad could get even more handsy.
“Oh? So soon?” she
called.
“Yeah, I—“
“Without payment?”
Damn. He did want
that. At least when he turned again, the
two of them were standing respectfully apart, hands to themselves.
“Ermm, yeah, if you don’t mind.”
“’Course not. Honey,
fetch my purse?”
Ned had apparently recovered from his workout enough to flit
across the room, shamelessly fetching the purse for his wife. What self-respecting man would ever--
“Oh,” Theo corrected, as the wrong president emerged from
her wallet. Not even a president, in
fact. “Just fifty per session.”
But Lola strode forth with the $100 bill anyway and pressed
it firmly into his palm. “First-day
bonus,” she declared.
“Oh,” he repeated, like a broken record. The vertigo again, as she loomed above him…
“Would you prefer an advance for the rest of the week?”
“The rest of the…? I’m
not sure if I’m coming back, or—”
“Of course we’ll have you back. Ned?”
“Yeah, for sure!”
“There you have it. Now:
can you fit in three days per week?”
Her body, her breasts
– way too close. Theo stepped back
awkwardly. “Most clients do just one a
week.”
She stared down at him, unblinking.
“… But three could work.”
“Excellent.” A Benjamin,
another Benjamin… and after a moment of thought, out came a Ulysses as
well. “For the next three sessions.” A total of three hundred and fifty dollars
now rested in his palm.
Dang. “That’s really
not necessary, ma’am. You can pay as we
go.”
Lola chuckled. “Word
of advice from a businesswoman: when someone offers you money, take it.”
He hesitated. Lola
was … well … damn, she did pay a lot.
And he doubted he’d have to deal with her much after today anyway. “Alright.”
He pocketed the money. “Uh,
thanks.”
Just then, the oven timer went off. “The galette’s ready! Who wants some?”
“No, I’d better be going,” said Theo, respectfully backing
away …
… until his new biggest client cocked her head and ‘tsk’ed. “And when that same someone offers you a free
dessert...”
* * *
“This is really freaking
good!” Theo had only meant to stay a
minute, but now he greedily dug into his second slice.
“You already said that,” Ned said with a laugh.
“Yeah, but you could open a pastry shop with
this—seriously!”
“Ohhh, no.” Lola’s
left arm hooked around her husband’s slender waist as her right hand delivered
another big forkful to her mouth. “Nothing’s
takin’ my man away. I’ve got him all to
myself.”
Ned, his arm across Lola’s broad shoulders, leaned in to
smooch her cheek. She responded with –
oh lord – a full-on squeeze of his rump.
“Lola, there’s company here,” Ned half-heartedly protested, smacking
her forearm. She just laughed and snaked
her arm around the small of his back as she ate, what, her third slice? The woman was voracious. And, god, Theo couldn’t get over how swollen
her forearm was. She—
“Go ahead, Theo,” she graveled. “Ask.”
Huh? “Ask what?”
“You want to ask if my size is all natural, or enhanced.”
He nearly coughed up his dessert. “Excuse me?
I don’t know what you mean.”
“Hon, you’ve been staring at my arms for the last five
minutes. It’s alright to inquire.” As his cheeks uncharacteristically warmed,
Lola at least saved him the trouble of responding. “The answer’s yes—I’ve been on Apo-Amplifiers
for, oh, almost a month now.” She
smirked. “How much have I gained, did you
say?”
“Hrr? No, I didn’t say—“
“About a half a foot and seventy pounds, give or take.” She pressed her palms together and flexed. “As you can see, that’s mostly muscle.”
Yeah, no crap! Her
pecs danced wildly beneath her tight pinstripe shirt. Her husband, still caught within her arm, was
rocked along for the ride. Theo tried
not to stare, but … good lord…
“Why would—“ He
shifted distressedly in his seat. “Why
would you do that to yourself?” he
couldn’t help but blurt.
“Ha!”
Her full-throated laugh nearly shook the table. “Apogee gives an employee discount, and you
expect me to not take full advantage?”
Discount or no, maintaining that much gains must cost a small fortune! And you’d have to constantly keep buying
more, since each dose only lasts a couple weeks.
“We’re blessed that I can afford it,” Lola hummed. “Well
worth the investment.”
Ned leaned and kissed Lola’s cheek then, bewilderingly, traced
his hands along her shoulder and intently squeezed her arm. It would appear he agreed with her—quite
avidly. As bizarre as that was.
“Why would women want to get bigger?” Theo insisted, shaking his head. “I don’t understand it.”
“Oh?” The hulking
female cast Ned carefully aside so she could address her guest fully, mano a mano. “You of all people should know what it’s like
to crave size; strength.”
“Me?” She was again
leaning quite close…
“Yes.” Her thick
fingers strummed the table, not far from him.
“You, Theo: very tall for a man, and very well-built. I suspect you work out every day—always pushing
yourself, always getting in those few extra reps, always fighting for that
little bit more. If it’s paid off for you now, imagine what it
must have done for you in the past. How formidable you must have been. Perhaps even as much as me now.”
The damned cockiness in her voice… But she was right. The size of her torso; the way her forearm muscles
undulated and twitched each time she strummed her fingers. He was once real big – but that big? He wasn’t sure.
“Ah,” she recognized, reading him like a book. “So I’m right.”
The room was starting to feel very warm. “Oh, I was bigger
than you, Miss,” he retorted.
She shrugged. “Point
is, hon, it’s not only men who can feel the thrill of being bigger, better than everyone around them. You think only men are allowed to do what it
takes to make that happen? Pfft.
You and I are the same, hon.”
“The same?” How
arrogant! “No we’re not.”
“Oh? So once our Apo-Reverso
For Men comes available, you won’t do everything possible to get your hands on
it?”
“No, I—“ He blinked. “The heck is Apo-Reverso?”
Lola threw back her head and laughed. Ned joined in and, at a beckon from his wife,
came and sat on her lap. “Want to tell
him, sugar?” the woman hummed, ensconcing his between bicep and breast. He seemed entirely comfortable there. Smothered.
Trapped. How can he stand it??
“This is the big one, buddy,” Ned declared excitedly. “Lola and everyone—they did it! They found a way to make guys bigger, and women smaller!”
Theo’s eyes went wide.
“You make it sound like I invented it, hon. I’m just in marketing.”
“Still … we’re gonna be so rich!”
“Ha. Yes, we are … And
clearly there’s one interested customer right here.”
He couldn’t help it.
Hell, his damned lip was quivering.
The product he’d been waiting for, been trying so hard to find… “You’re
serious?” He scanned their faces. “This
is for real?”
“Oh yes,” assured Lola.
“The official announcement’s next week.
Clinical trials begin in a month.”
“Each dose lasts a week or two, like Apo-Amplifier,” added
Ned. “You gotta keep taking more.”
“But our scientists are optimistic they can develop a more permanent
form, before long.”
Permanent or no, Theo’s heart was racing. This was real,
not just a pie-in-the-sky dream! “H…How can I get it?” he flat-out blurted.
“Ha!” Lola bounced
her husband on her lap. “See? I knew he’d be interested.”
“You were right, babe!”
Theo fidgeted restlessly, his palms growing sweaty. “Is it a matter of money? I don’t have a ton, but—“
“Oh, far too
expensive for that. High production costs;
overwhelming demand expected … It’ll likely debut at triple the cost of Apo-Amplifier,
or more. Even for the clinical trials—if
you could even get in.”
Triple!?! His head spun. Here, today, with Lola’s connections… this
might be his only chance. “I’ll do
whatever it takes!” he pressed. “There must be a way.”
The married couple exchanged a knowing glance. “Whatever
it takes?” Lola repeated.
His breath caught. “Yes,”
he affirmed, going all in. “Anything.”
The way Lola grinned, this seemed exactly what she was
hoping to hear. She whispered in her
husband’s ear and, with a quick pat on his rump, sent him scurrying eagerly
across the house. Leaning back and
smirking slyly, she seemed far more at ease than Theo who could hardly hang on
to his wits.
Ned returned with a large tablet in hand. Lola rose from her chair and Theo followed
suit, the three of them crowding around the screen.
“This one?” he asked, pointing to a file on the home screen:
MM_Ep3_Promo.mp4.
“Perfect,” Lola affirmed.
“What’s this?” Theo had to ask.
Lola chuckled. “If
you’ve not seen this before, you’re in for a treat.”
Low, suspenseful music drew Theo’s attention to a colorful,
brightly-lit arena. Now a close-up:
long, purple leather gloves being pulled over slender arms, in dramatic
slow-motion. Similar purple stockings being
rolled up two shapely calves and thighs.
Zoom out to a very attractive
woman in a pink and purple onesie, the fabric clinging to her curvy hips and
shapely bust. A simple mask framed
striking blue eyes. High cheekbones. Lustrous golden hair. She was supposed to be a superhero, it seemed;
but too soft, slender, and fragile-looking to fit the part. Wouldn’t be beating up villains anytime soon…
but damn was she easy on the eyes. How
cute it was when she scrunched her face in such determination and wrapped her
dainty hands around the bars in front of her, as if to spring from the starting
gate like an elite sprinter. Adorable
how the overblown music, the camerawork, tried to make her look like such a
badass…
The music grew even more dramatic as two more hands appeared
on the bar. Slightly skinnier arms,
slenderer legs, clad in some sort of gray spandex. … And then a masked head
appeared. Definitely a man’s, but with a
silver, pointy nose. Silver
whiskers. The round, cartoonish ears of
a mouse. As the mouse-man gave the
taller woman a thumbs-up and braced too, one could even see a gray foam tail,
bobbing behind.
“What the--??”
Before Theo could ask, a horn blared and the baffling pair
tore pell-mell out of the starting gate.
To a fast-paced beat, the video blitzed from one action shot to the next:
charging down ramps, climbing over walls, tiptoeing over balance beams, dodging
padded wrecking balls …
“What is this?” quipped
Theo.
“A game show!” chirped Ned.
“Teams of two compete for the fastest time through all sorts of
obstacles.”
“OK, but why is he dressed like a mouse?”
“’Cuz of the show’s name: Mighty and Mouse!”
Theo eyed him askance.
“Wait, so …”
“Yep—he’s the ‘Mouse’ and she’s the ‘Mighty’.”
“She doesn’t look very mighty.”
Ned laughed. “Keep
watching...”
Indeed, as he looked at the screen again, the blonde babe
was popping the cork off of a large, round flask. The music changed to the cheeky melody of
Popeye, as she guzzled the blue liquid down… and grew before his eyes in a
matter of seconds.
Theo lurched back at the surreal sight, as the now taller,
stronger woman grabbed her little man and heaved him right over the wall then made
the leap herself!
“This is fake, right?” he asked, feeling his hackles rising. “CGI?”
Lola winked. “The
wonders of Apo-Amplifier.”
For real? But—
“The doses aren’t nearly so drastic in the actual show,”
Lola assured. “They’ve exaggerated it
for this promo.”
That didn’t make this any less distressing. He glimpsed the woman guzzling a second
bottle, and a third. The mouse-man, too,
drank a bottle or two—and shrank! By now
the woman’s body was like a walking slab of muscle as she deflected boulders
and ripped through walls, shielding the now puny
mouse-man as he scurried in her wake. The
two now burst into a final clearing, dashing toward the ‘MIGHTY & MOUSE’ in
giant, glittering gold block letters.
Hoisting the mouse-man onto an ‘S’, the blonde behemoth stepped onto an
‘M’ and heaved, tilting the entire top word upward to make room as she stood
stalwart and proud, the mouse-man crouching alongside.
The letters exploded, blanketing the screen with light. “SEASON ONE,” it said next. “COMING SOON.” And then: “BROUGH TO YOU BY MIGHTY MEGA
PRODUCTIONS // IN PARTNERSHIP WITH APOGEE BIOTECHNOLOGY CORPORATION.”
Theo actually felt dizzy.
That woman was so curvy, voluptuous; yet so shockingly powerful and
ripped. The strange, confusing sight of
it still messed with his head, well after the screen had gone dark and … and—
Lola and Ned were staring at him. As he jumped in surprise, the two of them
laughed.
“Pretty wild, huh?” Ned beamed. “Blew my mind too, the first time I saw it.”
“What? Uh…” Man, he was out of sorts. “That had to be CGI,” he insisted.
“You’re cute, hon,” Lola chuckled, to his chagrin. “The exploding letters at the end? Sure.
But the rest was real-life.” At
his evident distress, she reminded, “The doses were greatly increased in this
promo. Watch the first few episodes when
you get home—the actual sizes on the show are far more modest.”
His mind was still a muddle … but it seemed easiest to
scowl. “This junk is already on the
air?” he familiarly scoffed. “And people
watch it?”
“It’s quite a hit, in fact.”
“Well, that’s nice. Why’d
you bother showing me?”
The couple shared a grin.
“Because,” hummed Lola, “a spot on the show has just opened up—and I
think it should be you.”
He stared at them for all of five seconds before he shot to
his feet and made a beeline for the door.
“Theo…”
“Nooooope!”
“Hear me out, hon,” Lola asked.
“Just give us a sec!” Ned beseeched.
He thought these two were merely eccentric. Turns out they were completely out of their minds! “Gotta
go!” he barked, hustling into the foyer.
“Hmph.” Lola’s low grunt
and heavy footfalls were right behind
him. “I wouldn’t have thought a man like
you would run from a challenge.”
He slowed a half step.
Rrghh… “I’m not running.” Just
walking very, very fast…
“I figured you’d ‘do anything’ … for a one-year supply of
Apo-Reverso.”
He stopped dead in his tracks. Fortunately Lola did too, or he’d be eating
tile. He turned to stare up hesitantly
at the hulking woman. “Th… That’s the
prize?”
“That, or any Apogee products of your choice—even early
releases. You win the Qualifying round,
you’re looking at, say, an extra few inches and a nice boost to your physique
for a year. Winning the Champions round—you’d
be set for a very long time. There’d hardly be a man anywhere who could measure up to you then.”
His eyes widened. She
was playing right to his ego—and it was working. If what she said was true, then…
Wait. Slow down. “You want me to parade around like a mouse on
live TV…”
“No one will even see your face beneath that mask, hon.”
“… and shrink!”
“It’ll wear off in a matter of days. Brief inconveniences, for such a long-term
gain.”
Ughh… That he was
even considering this for an instant!!
“Nope,” Theo reaffirmed, with vigor.
“Never gonna happen.” He stormed
out through the front door without another look back.
Ned watched through the window with a disappointed
frown. For once, his wife’s strong arms
provided him little comfort as they draped around him. “Drat!” he yipped. “He’d be so fun to watch on the show!”
“Mmmhmm,” Lola agreed, her fingertips idly circling his
chest.
Ned sighed, amidst the goosebumps. “I was really hoping he’d say yes.”
“Oh, he still might.”
Ned whirled and stared up in surprise. “Really?”
Theo’s answer had seemed so definitive!
“Why do you say that?”
“Hmph! You don’t get
to be V.P. of Marketing without knowing how to read people. You’ll just have to trust me, sweetie—I have
a feeling about him.”
Ned felt a twinge of excitement. His wife was so perceptive, and almost never
wrong. Yet another thing he loved about
her. “Good,” he murmured, leaning back
and letting her warmth fold in around him as he kissed her hand.
* * *
Great. Now Theo’s
whole afternoon was in a funk. More
yardwork; fixing the sink; making dinner… nothing he did could shake it
loose. Why’d that big boor of a woman
have to get his hopes up, only to taunt him with an offer she darned well knew
he’d never take! No self-respecting man
would say yes to that show. No matter
how determined, or desperate, or…
“Theo.”
Gah! The chef’s knife slipped from his hand,
nearly cutting his finger. “Jeeeesus, Elaine!” He turned—and a lump formed immediately in
his throat. Heels. Another way-too-tall
woman wearing way-too-high heels. At
least Elaine was shorter than Lola—his eyes weren’t right in her breasts!
“You didn’t hear me come in?” her edgy voice asked as she
peered rudely down.
“I …” He must’ve been
too lost in thought when she came in. “I’ve
had a long day,” he grunted.
Her expression softened a bit. “I did too.”
She sighed; massaged her temples.
“You wouldn’t believe how stressful
work was.”
“Hmph.” He rarely
asked this anymore, but… “Want to talk about it?”
Her eyes flitted in surprise. She actually considered for a moment, before
closing herself off again like usual. “No,
no.”
As she went to set her purse down… good lord. He could do
without the added height, but those heels accentuated her legs spectacularly. Not to mention her tight, round ass; her pleasingly
arched back …
*cough* “Hey, so we
could …”
Her lustrous hair whipped around and her brow arched
inquisitively. Wow … she really became
more of a knockout every day. To where
he was more than willing to overlook
the inconvenient height difference, and …
“Could what?” she asked with a note of impatience.
Damn. Why did he get so tongue-tied lately? The old Theo would have smoothly complimented
her looks, made her blush, and persuaded her into the bedroom already, all in
the time he stood here dawdling! Maybe
that they hadn’t had sex in several weeks made him more flustered; out of
practice. But—
“What?” Her sharp tone sliced through his thoughts,
as her wide-eyed stare fixated past the top of his head. “Is that the slip for the dry cleaner’s??”
“Huh?”
“Tell me you didn’t forget!”
Oh crap. With all
that had happened this afternoon…
“Theo!” She threw her hands up. “For god’s sake!” She started past him, muttering expletives.
“Wait,” he called, reaching out to try to smooth things over…
But his fingers couldn’t wrap around her arm like they once
could, plus she carried too much momentum.
She slipped past him undeterred.
“Guess I’ll have to do it myself,” she hissed, snatching the slip from
the counter.
Theo followed after her and huffed. “Calm down.
I’ll head out now and—Ooof!”
Elaine had spun around fast, her palm smacking into the soft
spot beneath his ribs. Clearly an
accident—but it knocked the wind right out of him.
“What the—?!” Elaine blurted, as he doubled over and
wheezed. “Pfff … Quit being melodramatic.”
She strode irritably out of the house before he could even try to stop
her.
Catching his breath, he heard Elaine’s car peel out of the
driveway. In a moment of sudden surety,
he picked up his phone and made a call.
“Hello?”
“Ned. It’s Theo. Tell me more about this game show.”