The noise was tremendous. It was
like hearing a waterfall roar from its base. The titanic lips, large
enough to envelope a building were making it impossible not only to
avoid hearing, but also to avoid listening. The combined effect of
salivation and suction made the whole thing sound like rhythmic succession of
waves in a stormy sea. Elsa was, for her own misfortune, by far the
nearest spectator of the show.
That morning she was enjoying her
vacation on the beach with her eight years old son Arthur. She was
lying on the seat, deeply absorbed in the reading of the last novel
about her favorite detective, when the whole world started to shake
and tremble. She thought immediately of an earthquake. The sudden
reflex made her jump out of the seat looking for her son, struck in
complete dismay for the immediate existential threat.
“Mom?!” was the voice that
awakened her. There he was, six or seven rows of seat ahead, on the
shoreline, holding his marbles. She screamed back reaching with the
hand in her son direction when the shaking and rumbling became vastly
more imminent. She turned to the left just to be baffled by a sight
beyond comprehension. Introduced by a sandstorm of umbrellas and
towels, woods and plastic, there it came a gigantic couple of
elliptic orbs. The were on on the top of the other and bubbled softly
in the movement. They were getting close. Only a second sight
revealed an even more unbearable truth. Those orbs were the prominent
extremity of a bigger curve that continued in a wall of flesh in the
direction of the city and in the shape of two irregular pillars in
the direction of the sea. It was a body, a feminine one, lying on her
side, just unbearably big. Big enough to be already deeply distended
(or “extended”) both in the city beyond the beach and in the
water in front of it. And it was approaching, not by moving but by …
expanding? That last consideration shook Elsa strongly enough to make
her recover her own situation. She looked again in the direction of
her son, that was now down on his knees crying for the fear and the
confusion. She started running as fast as she could. The chaos was
ominous, there were people running in the perpendicular direction or,
simply put, away from the ever growing mountain in the form of ass
cheeks. She kept screaming to gain the attention of her son, but the
noise of the sand and the stuff dragged by the attrition of the
nearing buttocks and the scream of confusion of the fleeing people
made it completely useless. Suddenly her son raised his head in order
to look again for his mother and recognized her through the crowd
running in his direction. He dropped the marbles and started running
too. They were less than two rows apart, both screaming, both crying,
holding their hand one in the direction of the other when the
avalanche came. Elsa couldn’t feel the ground under her feet for a
moment and lost her balance. She fell to the ground and had no time
to stand up again because a wall of sand and debris immediately
submerged her. The last thing she distinguished in the light at the
end of the wave was her son standing and screaming. Then everything
became dark.
And her son was also the first
thing she saw when she woke up. He woke her. “Artie? Is that you?
Oh my god… Artie, are you ok? Have you got hurt? Oh my god, what
happened?”
“Mom! Mom! You are awake! I was
so scared! You have to come out! It’s dangerous here, everybody
else is gone, they have all fled! Please mom, I want to leave!”
“Artie, honey, calm down! Oh my
God, I am so happy to see you? Come here let me hug you!” Said her
while loosing temporarily the sight because of the tears. She reached
for her son with her arms … she could not move her right arm. She
removed the tears with her free arm spreading sand all over her
cheeks. Then she looked right. She was completely submerged in the
sand. Only her head, left shoulder, arm and breast were over the
surface. And the sand was as compressed as concrete. She tried to
move her right hand, the finger were numb but they responded. Her
relief was extremely short because of the pain she felt, coming from
her forearm. She screamed, but then immediately silenced herself out
of the fear. She was stuck in the hill of deep pressed sand and
beach-day remains. On her left there stood her son holding her hand.
On her right the sight was blocked. An immeasurable wall blocked the
view to everything else. It was the ass cheek, as big as a stadium.
Over the “horizon”, the other cheek emerged, like a further
mountain. Elsa could not feel less dwarfed than in that moment. She
felt like not only her figure, but also her whole world and existence
were nothing under the shadow of that bottom. The skin of the
titaness seemed smooth, light and covered in what should have been
microscopic white hairs, which for Elsa looked like a thin forest of
white cables. She recognized also a strange protuberance twenty or so
meters up on the left. It was less smooth and brownish. In the
perspective of the giantess that must have been a microscopic mole.
Over the head of Elsa, it stood large enough to allow a helicopter to
land on it, or even two. She could not stare any longer at the
immense roundness of the enormous woman. She had to get out of the
sand and bring her son as far as she could from this madness.
“Arthur, listen to me! We have
to get out of here! I am stuck, and I can not come out of the sand by
myself. I need your help. We have to dig, as much and as fast as we
can. Do you understand me?”
The boy nodded to her mother and
came closer.
“Good! Up here” Said her
while helping him to climb the remaining part of the hill. He started
moving sand with both hands. But the work was pretty Sisyphus-like
since for every handful he could remove a similar amount fell from
the top of the hill. Elsa held her teeth and tried to help her son
the best she could. The kept digging for some minutes.
“I am tired mom, I can’t feel
the palms of my hands”
“I know honey, but we must
hurry up! We don’t know what may happen.”
The worst case scenario seemed
extremely imminent. Even the slightest movement of the ginormous lady
could have caused a new avalanche. A microscopically stronger one,
could have smashed them both like the specks of dust they were in the
presence of such a titanic ass. She didn’t want to think about it
and kept digging until she could recognize her own shoulder. The sand
kept falling, they were making progress but very slowly. Out of the
blue, a rumble struck both. They looked at the gigantic form, which
kept staying still. Then, the noise of a thousand thunders combined
and exploded like the crash of collapsing planets. A petty and acute
flatulence dispersed in the air, out of the ass of the giantess. For
the titans it was hardly enough to wake them. For Elsa and her son,
the rumble was so strong that they both lost their hearing for a
while. It lasted two or three seconds. The jet didn’t hit Elsa,
they were to close to encounter its trajectory. But it hit the beach
under the sand-hill. Before the storm, there was indeed a chaotic
mess of seats, umbrellas, bags, towels, and whatever else could be
once part of a normal beach morning. After, there extended something
like a reverse crater. The stuff that accumulated on the beach, also
the kiosk and wooden structure that hosted bars and restaurants just
three seconds earlier were shredded into pieces and thrown up at
hundreds if not thousands of meters, raining on the land in the
distance. When they recovered from the shock, Elsa looked at her son.
He was petrified by the consequences of such a little air, just
expressed at those proportions. But when she could hear well again
she heard the sound of laughter. Her son was kept in a moment of
hilarity.
“Eheh, the mega miss just
farted a tornado!”
“Yeah” she commented, not
sharing the same enthusiasm. “We have to keep digging honey!”
And so they did. They could hear
noises in the direction of the city. At first it was very difficult
to understand what was happening. Then it got clearer, there was a
discussion. A discussion between thunders, it was impossible to
distinguish any word, but still it was a discussion. Elsa wondered
again what they could be talking about. Then the thought hit her like
a truck: “they!” There were more than one of these monstrosity.
One of these things alone was big enough to flatten a block with her
body. Her forms resembled an actual mountain range. She just
witnessed the power of a single little and short fart, strong enough
to pulverize buildings. Elsa could not indulge in her meditating too
much. Who knew what would come next? They may have decided to move.
She didn’t want to be there in the occasion. The job became much
easier when she completely freed her other arm and could dig with
both. The sand was below her knees when the worst happened. The
giantess was starting to move. With a strong pull she came to see her
feet again and immediately stood up to run away. Although she didn’t
account for the time her legs were immobilized and compressed in the
sand and the subsequent numbness. She fell ruinously down the hill.
The sand was tumbling down on every side of her, the adrenaline
compensated the numbness and gave Elsa the strength to rise and look
for her son that was running down to her. She started screaming with
her arm stretched toward him. He was screaming too, but the sound was
muffled by the noise of the crumbling sand-hill. She shoot “Arthur,
jump!”. The child obeyed the best he could and in a matter of
instant she managed to hug her son again in a brief moment of
excitement. Emotion that immediately left space for the fear of
impending doom. Doom in
the semblance of
a heart-shaped butt as big as an airport. The shadow extended for
hundred of meters. Holding her beloved son by the wrist, Elsa run
faster than she could even imagine. But it wasn’t enough. It was
too big, too fast and too close. The ass descended unstoppable and it was
like the Earth itself was closing around them. In a final moment of
terror, Elsa kept Arthur close to her and hugged him covering his
eyes and whispering “It’s going to be alright”. Then, it was
darkness.