Before finding her one and only, Maya had spent the week in
preparation for their reunion. In only a single day she had gone through
various emotions. Acceptance that she’d always be his monster, his devil. She
was content with his misery so long as he was with her, close enough that she
could hold him, coddle him…abuse him. But then she was deconstructed so
soundly. In such a manner that even she was terrified of what sort of horrors
she could have visited upon the poor beta had she gone through with her
original intentions.
She would have killed Lynette if it meant getting a hold of
her dear Six once more. She would have killed anyone who had gotten in her way.
Hell, she may have killed Lyza if they proved too troublesome in preventing
Maya from getting what she wanted. But then, where would she be? What else
would she have in this life but mistakes she continues to repeat over and over
again? Had she killed one of the few people she loved, and in turn one of the
few who loved her, then what sort of life would she have to live with them
gone?
Maya hated the fact that she could even consider this. But
what was worse was how much she hated herself for still having such thoughts even
now, after an entire day had gone by since her meeting with Roxanne. She wasn’t
exactly sure how she felt about them.
On one hand, Maya was grateful now that she was being given
this chance to see her one and only. It was a gift in her eyes. The type that
could not be repaid easily, though she supposed letting Roxanne live was as
good a start as any towards paying her back. But on the other side of that
spectrum, however, Maya felt suitable reasons to hate her.
Roxanne knew what she wanted. She knew what to say to get
her over to her side. They knew what their ultimate goal was and just how
they’d go about getting it. As she had known before, Roxanne deconstructed not
just her but Six as well. She knew Six’s life before everything that happened
to him.
Roxanne knew just what sort of hardships Six had to face
long before he was even given that name by the woman who ruined him. His life
was awful before he had even met Maya, and yet somehow she found a way to make
it worse. Roxanne knew to capitalize on this and make this the focus that would
gain Maya’s cooperation. Only now had this become the obvious tactic,
desperation to earn back the beta’s favor driving much of the killer’s actions
at some point.
It was a clever tactic. One Maya had to commend even if it
did come at the expense of somewhat forced cooperation. Because no matter how
much she tried to plan around it, there was just no way she could reclaim her
one and only without the need for violence. It wasn’t as if an alternative
didn’t exist but rather Maya believed she wasn’t capable of anything else. To
that end, she needed to help Roxanne. To get as close to Six as safely as
possible. Without leaving a trail of bodies in her wake.
Maya wanted to show Six that she was capable of change.
That she could be forgiven. Even after all she’s done, not just to him
but to hundreds of others, strangers and families who did not deserve the
carnage she brought. There was just one issue though.
“Am I even worth being forgiven?”
On the first night of the day after being given the chance
towards redemption, Maya carried herself to the restroom in the dead of night
and looked into her mirror. She had carried the same appearance for over half a
decade now. The same worn blue hair she
had kept since her college years was the first thing her eyes fell on. It’s
been so long since she started dying her hair that she actually couldn’t
remember her original reason as to why she had begun to do so. Maybe it served
as a reminder of ‘better times’ before she brought ruin to the life of the, at
the time, one person who she gave a damn for.
Or perhaps she was running away from her past; from
herself. She certainly had much to hide away from. More than some might
realize. Hers was not a simple life. It was not happy, nor did it have its
moments of respite where she was allowed some form of peace. In that, she could
find herself relating to Six. That was, after all, the reason why she had found
herself attracted to him in the first place. Like a moth towards the flame, the
damaged would draw in the damaged.
The difference was he went about his life in a far
healthier manner than Maya ever could. She one the other hand…
“Just how many people have I buried?” Images flashed before
Maya’s eyes. Brief memories of all those she had killed in her comparatively
short life. She’s buried hundreds. So crushed underfoot. Others devoured,
swallowed whole. And that was only betas. There were still plenty more who were
normal-sized. Heads caved in with a hammer. Limbs chopped off and hidden away.
No one was safe from her…cravings. Her rampages. She killed people from every
age group, regardless of their social standing or the reproductions that could
come from the death of an important official. Hell, she killed Josephine
Minerva, the Saint and Martyr of the new world who was often hailed as one of
the most influential people in earth’s history. If only the world knew what
their real intentions were.
Slowly, Maya found herself chuckling as she thrust her
nails into her arm. The more she thought about it the more she found her
situation…just so damn funny. She was asking SO MUCH from a world that should
give her nothing. She deserved no forgiveness, no peace of mind, and no love.
Yet she asked for it all the same because that is what she craved more than
anything. She knew who she was and understood the karma of all that she had
done.
The funniest thing, however, was that the more she thought
about it the more she was convinced that, if given another chance, she’d do it
all over again. She was not a good person. She may as well not have even been
human. But that didn’t bother her much. She couldn’t let it.
Maya forced her growing laughter to a stop, hunching over
as she brought her breathing to a stop. She needed to control herself, through
any means necessary. Her nails dug deeper into her skin, deep enough that blood
flowed from the wounds and dripped to the floor. She bit her lower lip hard,
needing any sort of stimulation she could create to tear away from her breaking
mind.
Now Maya actually regretted not having any spare betas on
standby. They would have been extremely useful at this point. It was only when her vision was beginning to
blur from a lack of oxygen did Maya begin to feel herself gaining some
semblance of sanity. Still, just to be sure, she waited for several minutes.
She stood there, in front of her bathroom mirror, waiting and watching as the
world shattered and repaired itself again and again. It was always like this
when she battled against her mind.
Maya was more a threat when in this state than in any
other. Any little thing could set her off and send her into a blood-craved
frenzy. She was certain she’d need to deal with these faltering faculties of
hers before seeing Six again. Unfortunately, there was just no way she could do
that in the short amount of time she had.
“Maybe…maybe Roxanne has something to help?” Really, at
this point, Maya would take all the help she could get. She’d even take
medication if need be, though she knew nothing existed that would be able to
help her sorry state of mind. She knew Roxanne to be smart, a creator of
miraculous technology and formulas. Maybe something in her ‘bag of tricks’
would be able to stop Maya from lashing out, if only for a time.
She didn’t give herself a chance to second guess. Maya
reached for her phone and dialed Roxanne’s number. Not even a full minute had
passed by before she had answered, in a daze from being woken up so late.
“I need a favor.”
“Of course, I have something you can use,” Roxanne
confirmed with a yawn. She found no pleasure in being woken up so late, but it
wasn’t like she could turn away Maya. Not after forcing her to help. As strange
as it seemed she was still on her side; hers and Lyza’s. She just needed to
force a few hands to act. “I’m not sure how much use it would be to you though.
You want something fast acting. To help with your…” she tried to recall how
Maya described her breaking mind. “Episodes? And yes, while I certainly do have
something that can help it pretty much just equates to a sort of super relaxant.
Or an extreme antidepressant”
That would have to do. “Anything. I’ll take anything if it
helps.”
Roxanne was skeptical. Despite literally being as
described, the medical formula on offer was ‘experimental’ for lack of a better
word. Faster acting than normal medication, where some antidepressants needed
weeks or a month to reach full effectiveness the one she had made needed only a
few hours. “It’s not made for consumption. At least not by someone like you.”
It was made to offer aid to betas. Or rather, to be a tad bit more specific, to
offer aid to certain beta.
“You know, I made them for Six.” Roxanne revealed. “Early
on into his procedures when he actually had a mouth to swallow things again. As
you can guess, I had to grind up a small portion of the pill before giving it
to him in a cap of water. He certainly needed it…”
Maya didn’t have to guess as to why. She was the root of
all he had endured. “I really did leave him in such a sorrowful state didn’t
I?”
Roxanne chuckled coldly. “You think? …Look” the scientist
weighed her words carefully. Maya was in a vulnerable state and even when half
asleep Roxanne still knew better than to push her buttons now.
“I know we came to an understanding yesterday. You wanna
see Six again, I get that. And while I have plenty of morally questionable
things before, I mean just look at the world, I don’t think popping pills is
the right path to take to fix yourself.”
Roxanne gestured for Maya to sit beside her, and the killer
quietly complied. She was desperate and was more than willing to grasp at
straws if it meant a quick solution to her episodic breaks. It meant she could
easily be manipulated, which was something Roxanne most certainly could do. If
she had a death wish that is. But it also meant Maya might end up doing
something she’ll likely end up regretting…again.
“Maya, I don’t think I can give them to you in good con-”
“I don’t need your conscience to play some sort of
role. I don’t need your goodwill or approval. I just need a WAY to
control myself, so I don’t HURT HIM.” Maya said, her voice
growing more stern with each passing moment. Her eye twitched as, for a brief
moment, she thought about how close she was to Roxanne. How simple it would be
to strangle them, squeeze the life out of them by crushing their throat. She
recovered from that brief thought as fast as she could force herself but
already it was clear that Roxanne had noticed her intentions.
It was in their eyes. For a brief second, she saw Maya’s
eyes gloss over and her pupils shrink. A minor break that was easily managed.
If only they were capable of controlling the messier ones, then Maya wouldn’t
need aid that even Roxanne doesn’t recommend. They were insistent though and
eventually the scientist was forced to concede.
Still, she was reluctant. Even as she got up to search for
the container of pills Roxanne held out onto some faint hope that Maya would
try and find some alternate method of healing. That hope was dashed when,
without being given a chance to explain, the bottle was snatched from her hand.
Maya eyed it. the container didn’t look too impressive. No
brand name or prescription number. The only thing there was a label for was the
medication’s strength, and even then it was made to best fit a beta.
“So you gave these to Six? What, did you shave a lil off
the top of one?” Maya chuckled at her own joke, the thought of Roxanne doing so
for her beloved being somewhat adorable.
Roxanne wouldn’t even grace her with a response, taking
away the fact of that being exactly what she did. “Just don’t go overboard. I
know what they can do to a beta, but they’re meant to take these things in
abysmally small quantities. I’m not sure what a regular pill will do even to a
normal-sized adult like yourself.”
“Do you have an idea of what can happen?”
Roxanne wracked her skull thinking about the sheer number
of things that could go wrong. “Not taking into account the fact that this is
still relatively new medicine based on older designs but it’s still for the
most part untested, again, on people of regular size. I can’t even be sure if
one tablet is too much or too little. At most, I can surmise that you’ll feel
the same effects Six did but on a far larger scale?”
“Larger in what sense?”
“Numbness around the body,” Roxanne explained. “Loss of
sensation altogether, probably. Dangerous if you’re unaware of any preexisting
wounds on your body that you could reopen. Speaking of which…” the scientist
gestured towards the poorly hidden bandages on Maya’s arm. “You might want to
get that checked.”
“On top of the sensation loss, it’s also possible you’ll
begin to feel more…apathetic. As I said, this is basically a super depressant so
you should expect similar effects. Of course, this can help to affect your ‘episodes’
but the inverse is also true. Agitation, and anxiety, are common side effects
you should watch out for. As well as a blunting of emotions if what I can what
Six had to go through.”
That last one struck Maya’s interest. “Blunting?”
“Yeah, blunting. Your emotions would be dulled in a sense.”
Roxanne explained. She remembered how early on when Six had taken some of the
antidepressants to better cope with his procedures that he grew distant. He was
fully capable of carrying on conversations, perhaps more clearly than before,
but often any conclusions to questions asked of him weren’t clouded by emotion.
Personal questions which, when off the medication, one would be more reluctant
to ask. “It’s an interesting side effect though I can’t imagine it’d be
something you’re looking forward to.”
Maya thought about it. The more she looked at things the
more they seemed to point toward her emotions being the direct cause of her episodes.
Her desires toward more sadistic cravings. Her need to see Six despite his wishes.
So many things she felt she could tie in because of her out-of-control emotions.
It seemed to make perfect sense.
Or perhaps it only did because that’s exactly what Maya
wished for. Either way, there was no turning back. She had convinced herself.
“That is exactly what I need.” Without anything to force
her into a frenzy, she could focus solely on what was important. Proving her
worth to Six. Showing him, and in many ways herself, that she was worthy of his
love. She could be better, do better; she could make everything better.
Roxanne saw the crazed look in Maya’s eyes once she opened
the bottle. There would be no convincing her out of this it would seem. “Go
figure. The one time I don’t wanna test something out, but it still happens anyway.”
Mentally, she reprimanded herself for allowing things to escalate as they
did. Getting Maya involved in her plans was a risk she had been willing to
take. But Maya unbound by her emotions? That was an unpredictable force she did
not wish to contend with. Cold, calculating, and more dangerous than some might
realize.
“Just don’t overdo it…” Roxanne warned. “One should be more
than enough.”
“But then again, even a small amount of shavings was enough to keep Six
under its effects for 36 hours. Who knows how long a whole one will last for Maya?”
Roxanne would need to steer clear of them for the remainder
of the week. At least until Six was back somewhere safe, though now she wasn’t
even sure if such a place would exist during that time.
“It breaks apart so easily…” already, Maya had taken the pill.
Her saliva broke it apart quickly enough. It was made for betas and thus was
easily manageable for them. For someone of regular size, however, there wouldn’t
be many issues in it dissolving in their mouths. “It…tickles…tingles kind of…”
It reminded her of struggling prey. How they would kick and
flail as though it would help them escape only for them to find themselves
under a wave of saliva. They’d gasp for air but would be unable to find any as
their whole environment, their whole world, belonged to Maya. She was their all
in those instances and held complete control over their lives. Most times she’d
bite down upon their fragile forms, their soft bodies breaking and flooding her
mouth with the taste of iron.
Other times, Maya would grind them between her teeth. Never
hard enough to immediately pulverize them. Instead, she’d tear their flesh away
as her molars would effectively flay them. It was more fun than it was decedent,
the taste of iron giving nothing to Maya but a poor taste in her mouth.
Both activities though weren’t even possible right now as
the tablet dissolved much too quickly. It didn’t even take an entire minute
before it was gone completely, at which point she was almost saddened to feel
its departure. Maya held a smile, all the same, her cheeks turning a rosen
shade. The tingling sensation didn’t just stop at her mouth. It extended to her
entire body. It was…enjoyable.
Pleasurable. It made her want to take another. This was
unfortunately not some candy she could indulge herself in. Maya would just have
to wait for the next one.
Maya didn’t expect the effects to take immediate hold. Still,
the sensation persisted. “Am I…supposed to be tingling all over?”
“You know, there’s a reason why I said it was experimental.”
Roxanne chided. “I can’t think of many people who would take something they barely
know DESPITE being warned not to. Most would be junkies on the street and even
then they’d probably give this a wide pass.”
Though she was being reprimanded Maya chuckled. She didn’t
feel as though she were in any sort of danger. Rather, she felt good. Very good.
Maybe it was just her mind playing tricks, but she felt…clearer? Like she hasn’t
been walking upright her entire life and only now just realized it. She stood
up and stretched her arms. For reasons she couldn’t explain it felt better than
any normal stretch she’s done before.
“Maybe you should take a rest…” Roxanne recommended a tad
bit worried. She noticed the rapidly changing demeanor on Maya’s face and noted
that, even with a full tablet, any effects should not have acted so immediately.
Or that’s what she thought. It is possible her math was off by…a lot. “At least
until you feel as though you’ve settled down some? Doctors…orders?”
“What?” The last thing Maya wanted to do right now was
rest. She wanted to go out and get herself ready. She still had a whole week ahead
of her and had so much to do. “No, no, no I got far too much to do to rest.”
She could think clearly now. So much more than before. How
long had it been since she ingested the medicine? One minute? Two? Five? This couldn’t
be the effect of that, could it? Was this her? Was Maya just tricking herself
into believing this homebrewed drug had done something miraculous?
It didn’t feel like a trick. Far from it.
She didn’t feel worried, nor did she feel scared. There
wasn’t any sort of doubt she felt in earning back her one and only’s favor
again. She fully believed she could now do it. Maybe not easily, but through great
effort, she had a chance.
“A chance…” Maya reflected on that single word. Once, she had
a chance at happiness before wasting it. She threw it away because always when
she grew to love another, she would hurt them. It happened with her family. It happened
with her sister. And it happened to her one and only.
“I just keep hurting people I love, don’t I Roxy?” Maya
looked to the scientist with a newfound sense of conviction. They had shown
vast knowledge in recalling Six’s life, even before he was a beta. But they had
yet to establish any sort of information in regard to Maya. Who SHE was before
any of this.
Maya didn’t expect an answer, and really it wasn’t like
Roxanne could give any. She was dumbfounded, maybe even a little scared at the
effects this medication was having on the now fully controlled killer. This
went far beyond what she had actually prepared for. She wasn’t sure now who was
in control of this situation.
Maya grinned, not sadistically but knowingly. She knew
Roxanne was afraid.
“You think I’m going to kill you, right?” Again, no
response was needed. Only the silence was required for an answer to be given. “Well,
don’t worry cause I’m not. I don’t ‘love’ you. Not in the way I do Lyza and…Six…”
that name felt so wrong now. Why did she start calling him that again? She didn’t
really ever bring it into question up until now. Maybe…maybe it was time for a
change.
Maya made her way towards Roxanne, the scientist backing up
slowly, searching behind her for anything she could defend herself with. She never
let her eyes pull away from the approaching psychopath. Fear fueled her movements
and before she knew it she had made an error. Her hand came to rest on her kitchen
counter, knocking over a glass bottle that shattered on the floor.
She turned her eyes away for just a second. All the time
Maya needed to appear before her vision when next she turned back to look.
They had nothing to use which could kill Roxanne quickly.
She fully believed that Maya would simply force her to the ground, crush her neck
and leave her body to be found later. Or perhaps she’d just grab her hair and
bash the scientist’s face into the counter over and over again until there was
only a gory mess.
Instead, and much to Roxanne’s astonishment, Maya gently
held their head in between her hands. Before she knew what was coming, Maya
pulled Roxanne into a kind kiss. Nothing passionate, not like with Lyza, but
certainly more than enough to turn the scientist into a beet-red mess. All
faculties were lost as Roxanne effectively lost any will to fight back.
Her sensations were in overdrive. She could have planned
any sort of outcome BESIDE this.
Surprise turned to subtle enjoyment as she began to enjoy
the sensation of Maya’s lips on her own. Much to her disappointment, the
psychopath pulled away. For them, there was nothing lustful in her actions.
This was merely her way of showing gratitude for being given this chance.
“Don’t try and take any sort of hidden message from this.”
Maya said in a whisper while still holding Roxanne’s face. “I don’t love you. Really.
But I am incredibly grateful for what you’ve done for me. So…”
Maya let Roxanne fall from her grip, the scientist falling onto
her rear in a daze. “I’m taking back my threats. So long as you stay in my good
graces I won’t kill you. Maybe I’ll even give you a warning here and there if I
find you get a bit too…lax in our relationship. That sound fair?”
Roxanne nodded, still confused and somewhat unsure of what
she was even agreeing to.
That was still enough for Maya. “Super!”
Maya gathered her things. She hadn’t expected her visit to
be so…salubrious. She hadn’t felt this good in…well…ever. This was the ultimate
in sensations and she had so much she wished to do with it. Pulling again at
strands of her hair, Maya noted that perhaps it was time she paid one of the
many beauty parlors in Los Demonios a visit.
She’s gone blue long enough.
She waved Roxanne goodbye, who in turn meekly waved back. They
still weren’t sure what had become of the situation. Sleep must have been the
furthest thing from their mind at the moment. Before leaving her apartment,
however, Maya left her with just a little bit of sound advice.
“Oh, and if you REALLY want to get on my good side then I
advise you stop calling Six…that. You know his name so it shouldn’t be
difficult for you.”
It was high time Maya started referring to her one and
only as he really was.